The Sacred Tree

Tick…tick…tick…tick…

Kagome stared at the clock on the wall, glaring at the second hand as it slowed more with each passing moment.

Come on, come on, she thought to herself, chewing on the end of her pen. She could swear that the hand was trying its hardest to move backwards. She let out a groan and looked down at her closed notebook. Scribbled across the cover were little hearts and “I love Toshi” scribbled down during class. Kagome smiled as she thought of him, her Toshi. His dark hair and brown eyes, that laugh, the way his hand fit perfectly into hers, and that smile, oh that smile. She melted as she thought of it, sighing heavily and closing her eyes. In the darkness behind her eyelids, she could see their wedding day, her white dress, his tux, rose petals flying around them as they clasped their hands together and sealed the union with a kiss. She had never been somebody’s girlfriend before, but she knew deep in her heart that he would always take care of her, that he would always love her.

Tap…tap…tap…tap…

Kagome opened her eyes. Her teacher was standing beside her desk, tapping the pointer on her shoulder.

“Maybe you should get more sleep at home, Miss Higurashi, instead of wasting my time in catching up with lost z’s.”

Kagome sat up quickly, straightened her thick hair.

“I’m sorry, I…”

RING!!!!!!!!

Thank God, she thought.

“Well that’s the bell! I should be going!” Kagome gathered all her books and shoved them into her bag. She threw the strap over her shoulder and ran to the door.

“Miss Higurashi!” the teacher called after her.

“Sorry! Gotta go!” Kagome waved over her shoulder as she ran from the room, letting out the gulp of air she had been holding in. That was a close one, she thought to herself.

“Gah!” she yelped as someone grabbed her by the elbow and swung her completely around to the lockers by the side of the door.

“Yuka! What the hell?” she chastised her best friend, tearing her arm from her grip and rubbing her elbow. Yuka peered over Kagome’s shoulder into the crowd, and as Kagome tried to look around, she put a hand on her cheek, making sure she didn’t see. Yuka opened her locker door to block Kagome’s view.

“What’s wrong?” Kagome asked, totally dumbfounded. Normally, her best friend was a bit of a space-cadet, constantly smiling and bouncing around as if there weren’t a single thing wrong in the world. Now, when Kagome looked into her eyes, they didn’t sparkle, they blazed with anger. Yuka wasn’t even looking Kagome in the eye.

“Yuka!” she finally yelled at her. “Just tell me what’s going on!” Yuka finally looked at her and gulped. She took a deep breath.

“Maybe you should see for yourself.” Her whisper was barely audible over the cacophony of the bustling hall. Kagome raised an eyebrow.

See for myself?

Yuka closed the locker door and allowed her to turn around. Kagome looked around at all the faces, and then finally found Toshi, standing with his back against the lockers. Hitomi, the school Siren, was standing in front of him, her hips angled towards his pelvis, her dainty fingers playing with the zipper on his slacks. Toshi smiled back at her, laughing at whatever it was that she was saying. Hitomi leaned forward, her hand going up his arm, and planted her lips on his. Toshi brought his hands to her face, taking the in the kiss, drinking it down as if it were water in a desert.

Kagome’s jaw dropped at the sight, the world around her going silent as she fell into her thoughts.

But…but how? Why? Toshi….my Toshi…with her…

She could feel the hot tears pushing at the dams in her eyes, threatening to pour down her cheeks. Her lips quivered, her breath caught in her chest.

I can’t breathe…I can’t breathe…

Toshi looked over in her direction, and their eyes locked. A look of guilt came over his face, he had been caught and he knew it. He pushed Hitomi away from him, fighting his way through the crowd to her.

I can’t stand it…I can’t be near him…

Kagome turned on her heel, running through the hall, pushing people aside. She felt like a salmon fighting upstream. She had to get away, she had to get outside, she had to get air…

She hit the door, swinging it open with a loud bang, and fell out onto the grass. The cold air hit her lungs like a stone into her dam, breaking the floodgates. She sobbed out onto the green carpet for a few seconds.

No, I can’t let them see me! I can’t let anyone see how childish I am! Just think what they’d say!

Wiping her tears away from her cheeks, she launched herself up from the grass and ran the rest of the way home, seeing the world in hazy images through the tears burning her eyes.

* * *

Knock…knock…knock

Kagome rolled over in her bed to face the window, pulling the sheets up tightly around her shoulders. She sniffled and threw the soaked tissue onto the floor, where all the thousands of the others lay.

“Kagome, are you alright?” Mrs. Higurashi shouted through the door. “I’ve got some soup for you.”

When she had finally gotten home, she had told her mother that she had been sent home sick; there was no mention of Toshi. She had quickly barricaded herself in her room, emptying two boxes of tissues in an hour.

“I’m fine, mom,” she managed to choke out.

“Can I come in sweety?”

“No, mom! I’m falling asleep.” She looked down at the tissue-strewn carpet. Her mother would know something was wrong the second she saw all of this, and then the questions would start, and then the tears would fall again. She rubbed her hand across her nose and sniffled. No, if she started crying now, she’d never stop.

“I want to check on you,” Mrs. Higurashi said, opening the door and walking in.

“Oh my!” she said. Kagome groaned, pulling the covers up and over her head. She must have seen all the tissues.

“What’s all this, Kagome?”

She could hear her mother pick up the trash can and pick up the tissues around the room, depositing them in the pail. A few seconds later, she felt her mother sit down on the foot of the bed and place a hand on Kagome’s side.

“You weren’t really sick, were you?” Mrs. Higurashi asked, her tone as understanding as always.

Kagome shook her head under the blanket, sniffling.

“Did something happen?”

She nodded.

“Did something happen with Toshi?”

Kagome only sniffled in response.

“Oh, honey…I know it seems bad right now, but they won’t always be this way.”

The tears she was fighting back broke through, and she sobbed beneath the thick blanket, her shoulders quaking.

“He…he…was…kissing…” she choked out between sobs.

Mrs. Higurashi pulled the blanket back and pulled Kagome into her arms. Kagome melted into her mother’s breast, curling up like a tiny baby as Mrs. Higurashi stroked her matted hair.

“I know, men can be stupid, but it’ll be ok, everything will be fine…”

Kagome yanked her head up and looked her mother in the eyes.

“But it hurts so much right now!” she yelled.

Mrs. Higurashi smiled and kissed her forehead.

“You know what always made me feel better? Sitting by the Sacred Tree in the backyard. You know, your grandfather used to tell me that it liked poetry, and that if I told the tree all my pain and suffering in a poem, that it would take it all away. The tree would take the pain away.”

She looked down at Kagome.

“Maybe you should tell the tree what lies in your heart?”

* * *

Kagome clutched at the paper, holding it to her chest. The Sacred Tree looked so much bigger than when she had last seen it, the chain hanging from it so much brighter. Ever since she was a little girl, she hadn’t paid much attention to this tree. It was always there, just another thing in her world, but now, it seemed more mystical up close.

She looked down at the writing on the paper, the poem she had wrote…

I trusted you
Gave my heart to you
But you threw it away as if it were a toy
I curse you
I’m hating you
I need someone whose heart I’ll enjoy
Where is that man
Where is he
Where is the one
Who will finally respect me?

It was crap, she knew it. She had never been the best student in English class, but hey, at least it rhymed…a little. She shook her head. Whatever, she thought. It’s my feelings, and now I’ll tie it to the tree, and everything will be better.

As she reached for the chain, she realized what she was doing. This is so stupid! She thought. I’m expecting a tree to make me feel better, a TREE! She looked around, making sure no one was looking. Well, there’s no harm in trying, is there?