The Break Room: Part 3b-Seagulls and Sex Wax

A/N: So, I decided I thought my first attempt at a part 3 sucked, so I took it off the site. So this is my second attempt at a part 3 in our break room series. Once again, I’ve conspired with my partner in crime to bring you this little jewel, not to be confused with the Shikon…gods, I’m lame. Anyway, just for those of you that care, we’re already thinking up ways to incorporate all the villains into this little world and we’ve got some great ideas going. Heheh…tentacles…
So, please read, review, and enjoy this next adventure, brought to you by…well, us.

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters. I only use them for my own sadistic purposes. Hehehe…

The Break Room: Part 3b-Seagulls and Sex Wax (Wax on, clothes off)

It was 4 p.m. on a Wednesday (it was always a Wednesday) when Kagome and Sango walked into the Break Room. They were discussing the pros and cons of kosher hotdogs when they stopped dead in their tracks. There, sitting in the middle of the Break Room was just about the strangest sight they’d ever encountered, and that was saying something…this week, anyway.
Miroku, clad in a pair of two-tone purple swim trunks, lounged in a bright pink beach chair, a heat lamp suspended above him. Pale colored sand surrounded the monk, who held one of those silver things made out of foil under his chin. The upper half of his torso and face had turned a faint pink color. Kirara lay sleeping sprawled atop a beach ball and a margarita dripped condensation onto the sand as it sat on a flimsy plastic side table.
Miroku glanced up, a sheepish grin spreading across his face. “Uh…hi…”
Inuyasha, wearing a pair of red board shorts and carrying a boogie board, entered from an adjoining room. “Miroku, I couldn’t find anymore ice for the…” He faltered as he spotted the two girls. “…hi…”
“Uh…” Kagome was the first to come out of shock. “What are you two doing?”
Miroku and Inuyasha exchanged a look. “Well, you see,” Miroku said, apparently deciding he was the best one to explain the situation, “Spring Break was canceled on account of the fact that everyone who writes fan fiction has no place to go, so, uh, we decided to create our own spring break.”
The girls looked at the uncomfortable looking hanyo, who grinned and threw a handful of confetti in the air. “Bonsai?”
Kagome sighed and rolled her eyes. “I regret ever teaching you that.”
“Hey, Miroku,” Sango said, staring at the red on his chest, “isn’t wearing that glove gonna give you kind of a funny tan?”
He shrugged. “Hey, no glove, no love, baby.”
She rolled her eyes. “Right. Besides, somehow, I don’t think that would stop you.”
He thought about that. “Probably true. But, since you’re both here now, you can join us!”
“Join you?”
“In our Spring Break Incredibly Fun Super Fun Mega Monster Bash! …2007...” He grinned. “It’s super fun!” He looked to Inuyasha for help when the girls just stared. “We have Mojitos,” he offered, gesturing to the kitchen counter where a pitcher sat next to some red plastic cups.
It was then the two girls noticed the ancient boom box from which sounds of the ocean were coming.
“Is that…?” Sango actually began to laugh. “Is that seagulls?”
“Aw, man, that means it’s near the end of the tape. Inuyasha, flip it.”
“I flipped it last time. You do it.”
“But I can’t turn over for another 11 minutes.”
“Yeah, well, I’m in the middle of something here. I’m waxing my boogie board.”
“To what purpose?”
“That’s what you do at the beach! You wax! Then, once you’re done waxing, you scope out the babes.” Inuyasha squinted his eyes and took a quick look around the room before coming to rest on Kagome and Sango. “…found ‘em.”
Kagome wondered over to the kitchen and picked up the cassette case. “Sounds of the Ocean? Where did you guys get this? And why a tape?”
“We don’t exactly have a big budget here, Kagome,” Inuyasha sneered as he continued waxing.
“Yeah,” Miroku chimed in. “Do you know how much sand costs these days?”
“Why didn’t you just swipe it from the deserted island fanfic set?” she asked.
The guys exchanged another look. “Actually, that’s what we did.”
“I thought that chair looked familiar.” A thought occurred to the demon slayer. “You did remember to wipe it down, right?”
Miroku’s sunglasses slipped down his nose, marring the perfect triangle of sunblock on it. “…no….why?”
“Well, Kouga and Ayame were the last ones on that set and-”
“Miroku, quick! Get out of the chair! You might catch fleas!”
Miroku jumped up quickly, but for a completely different reason. “Ewww! Please don’t tell me that…”
“Yep,” Sango said between giggles. “They used it. Actually, I’m surprised it’s still in one piece. Apparently, it was one phenomenal…uh…scene…”
“Aww…that’s why it was sticky…” He grabbed Kirara and began wiping his ass off with her tail. He didn’t get very far before the fire-cat demon growled and bit him before scampering off. “Ouch!”
“Wait,” Inuyasha said looking up from his waxing. “Why would there be a chair in a deserted island fanfic?”
“Inuyasha, it’s fan fiction.”
“Yeah, but-”
“No,” Kagome said, putting a hand up to stop his protests…or logic…whichever was more dangerous. “It’s fan fiction. Remember our motto.” She pointed to a plaque hanging next to the scheduling board that read: “Logic isn’t logic, illogic is logic. And that’s logical!” “Besides,” she continued after everyone had repeated the motto out loud, “it’s just as logical as us having a Break Room, now go back to your waxing.”
“I like waxing,” he mumbled. “I understand waxing.”
The door burst open as Kouga made his grand entrance with a cooler under one arm and a volleyball under the other. “I’ve got booze and a ball!” he shouted. “Bring on the babes!”
“All right!” Miroku shouted. “Now we can get this party started!”
“Who invited him?” Inuyasha growled.
“He had the beer.”
“Damnit.”
Kouga frowned as he spotted the pink beach chair. “Please tell me you washed that.”
“Yeah. Thanks for the heads up, ass.”
Kouga grinned. “Oh, yeah, it was up. I mean have you seen how short those fur wraps us wolves wear are?”
Inuyasha smirked. “Skirt.”
“Wraps. We’ve been through this. Like you and your Hammer pants.”
“Hey! They’re part of a traditional outfit warn by many proud warriors!”
“Yeah, they’re too legit to quit, all right.”
Inuyasha and Kouga growled at each other. “You gonna go shake your little tush on the catwalk for us, you scrawny wolf?”
“What can I say,” he growled back. “I’m too sexy for my-”
“Hold it,” Kagome said, pushing the two boys apart. She stared pointedly at the cooler nestled under Kouga’s arm. “Why did you bring a whole cooler of beer?”
“For the party, of course!” he grinned.
“What party?”
“The beach party.” Miroku took the cooler from Kouga and set it next to his chair. “Haven’t you been paying attention, Kagome? The Super Fun Happy Ending Awesomely Amazing Happy Fun Time Spring Break Party…2007!”
“Wait a minute, wasn’t that-”
“No, no, no. That was a different party.”
“What makes this one different?” Sango asked.
“This!” Without further ado, Miroku tore open his wind tunnel and promptly sucked both Kagome and Sango’s clothes into the black hole, leaving them in their under things. Sango shrieked and covered her chest, a bra not being a piece of clothing she was prone to investing in.
“Miroku! You sonofabitch!”
Miroku stared for a moment before lifting his face toward the heavens and whispering a thank you to every god that resided there. He grinned at Sango. “Hey, this could be South Beach.”
Further protests were cut short when the Break Room door opened and Sesshomaru entered and everyone turned to stare at him. The Lord of the West, stoic as usual, stood in silence for a moment before raising one perfectly plucked eyebrow and eyeing the cooler.
“You have beer?” he asked, his voice a perfect monotone.
“Uh…yeah…” came the monk’s reply.
What almost looked like a smile crept onto his face. “All right then.” With a flourish, his robes went sailing through the air in a perfect arch to leave the mighty dog demon standing in nothing but a pair of white, shimmering speedos and his fluffy. He struck a pose and proceeded the rest of the way into the room and headed straight for the beer.
Sango turned her attention back to Miroku and glared daggers at him. “You jerk.”
“How did you do that without sucking us into your wind tunnel too?” Kagome asked in wonderment…and a little impressed.
He grinned. “Practice,” he said proudly.
“Practice?” Sango’s voice held more venom than a copperhead and Miroku’s grin fell.
A huge crash directed everyone’s attention, once again, to the front door just in time to see a very pissed off Ayame, wearing nothing but a few leaves in strategic places, storm into the room as she threw her leaf attack at the monk. He used the foil mirror he’d been using earlier to tan with to block the attack, splitting it in two.
“Give me back my clothes and die!”
“Isn’t it ‘or die’?” Inuyasha asked.
The female wolf demon glared at the hanyo, who promptly cowered behind Kagome.
Miroku looked forlornly at his broken tanning mirrors. “Aww. Now I’m gonna be all blotchy and uneven.”
Ayame growled and lunged at him, but Kouga grabbed her and held her back. He grinned at Miroku. “Monk, I’ll high-five you later after she’s calmed down.” He looked down at the mostly naked woman in his grasp. “Or maybe a little after.”
Sesshomaru chuckled from across the room.
“What’s so funny?” Inuyasha asked, eyeing his older brother and wondering if he was already drunk.
“I guess that answers one question,” the dog demon replied.
“What question?”
“Whether or not the drapes match the carpet.”
Inuyasha stared at his brother before he erupted in fits of laughter.
A loud bell was heard. Kagome froze. “What was that?” she asked, terrified of whatever new horror was about to present itself.
“Oh, sweet! That means the hot tub’s ready!” Miroku said, sprinting across the room.
“What hot tub…?”
Leaning against the counter top, Miroku reached back and pressed a shiny red button against the wall. Across the room, the old wall folded back and a ten-person hot tub slid out, the waters bubbling happily and steam rising from its milky surface.
Kagome stared. “When did we get that?”
“That’s what happened to the budget.”
“But you said-”
“No, no, no. That was a different budget.”
Sango gripped herself more tightly. “I don’t want to know about that budget.”
“Wait.” Kagome’s head was spinning. “What budget? You get paid?”
The boys all exchanged looks. “Uh…” the hanyo hedged. “In a manner of speaking.”
“You see,” Kouga said as he pulled Ayame behind him as he started to explain, “we did a little free lance work to raise money for the hot tub.”
Kagome and Sango exchanged a look while Ayame continued to glare at Miroku. Kagome rubbed her temples. “I don’t want to know. Just hand me a beer and let’s get in the hot tub.”

Twenty minutes later, with beers in hands, our wayward crew relaxed in the warm bubbles. Sighing in contentment, Kagome looked around at their make-shift beach party and smiled.
“You know,” she said, “this is actually kinda fun. It‘s nice to relax for a change.”
“Yeah,” Inuyasha said as he snuggled her in his arms. “I can’t wait to try out my boogie board in this thing.”
“You’re gonna try that in here?”
“Of course. What do you think I did all that waxing for?”
“I don’t know. I guess I thought you just liked to wax stuff.”
“Oh, I do.” He nuzzled her neck, sending chills through her. “But you know what the best part about waxing a boogie board is?”
“What?”
“The kind of wax you use on it.”
“And what kind would that be?”
He pulled back and grinned at her. “Sex wax.” Kagome blushed. “I told you I like waxing things.”

And thus ended Super Charged Amazingly Fun Happy Party Time Spring Break…2007!

***

A/N: ROFLMAO. Haha! Sex wax! Get it…okay, so that was lame too.
PS: Vivienne thought of the motto. Gold. Gold, gold, gold, and some silver! Ha!

….she thought of that too….