Sugar & Spice

Disclaimer, all Inuyasha characters are own by Rumiko Takahashi, so, I am broke, dead broke understand!!! I at least wish I was the woman's sister I might then have some benjamins.

A/N: I am attempting my hand at comedy, I tested it out on a couple of friends and they got me, but, then, they wouldn't be my friends if they didn't right so it's up to you to tell me if I am funny or at least if the story is good. So review.

***********************************************

A woman wearing a short white, no nonsense mini-skirt, a light pink silky spaghetti strap tank top and a white no nonsense suit jacket walked down a stark white hallway with white doors that went beyond the eye could see. All you could hear is the clickity clack of her clear pink Cinderella type stiletto shoes.

Stopping at the only door that was painted red that was housed at the end of the hallway she pricked her left index finger and dripped a couple of droplets of blood onto the spongy like scanner. “Agent Koumiryou Sato welcome.” Said the pleasant female computer voice. The red door opened and the woman stepped through the portal and on to a conveyer belt. The hall was all black now save for some neon black lights that gave the woman a glow. Holding her hands up above her head puffs of air shot out around her. The conveyer belt that she was on finally halted in front of an apple green door. She pushed the red button and a screen pulled out from out of the ceiling. There it scanned her retinas. The door opened. The woman walked into the room and sat in a dark blue leather chair, with a display light on her. She sat across from a desk and swung one lean leg across the other.

“Koumiryou Sato, I am so happy you were able to come.” Said the husky voice from across the desk. However, the woman sitting before him gave him a crossed look.

“Capitán Why did you seek me out?”

“Would you care for some tea?”

The woman cast her cinnamon colored eyes to the man who sat in shadows behind the desk.

“Ok, then, obviously you don’t want any tea. Well then I will get right down to business I summoned you here Sato, because according to your reputation, you’re the only one who would be able to do this job assignment. I have here a list of anime guys I need for you to rate. It is important. See, fan girls and guys all over the world are either drawing pictures, or, writing fan fiction depicting these guys as above normal. Do you know how that makes average guys feel? When they are trying to make love to their wives, girlfriends, lovers, life partners…”

Going into his desk he pulled out some folders.

“Of course, I don’t have those kinds of problems… but, I have all these complaints and so, this is the reason I have called you here.”

“So than what are you asking of me you want for me to rate them? Not kill them? How, they are anime men no?”

“Damn that thick Spanish accent is so hot and…and…I remember when you, hey why do you have a Japanese name if you’re latino? I’ve always wondered that.”

“I think my agent name Sugar and Spice sounds better in Japanese no?”

The man behind the desk in the shadows rubbed his hard angled chin from what she could make out. Shrugging his shoulders and pushing that thought to the side now he said
“I guess, that makes sense. Anyway, Sato, I need for you to infiltrate a certain anime and have sex with the men, but not kill them just rate them, I know how much you like to kill your victims. Anyway, We have an experimental cyber computer that can transport your entire body into an anime. Of coarse, you will not be alone, as I will be watching you to make sure I send in the things you’ll need. You can contact me via thought waves, but, I will not always be accessible. Now, some of the guys might be hard to get to and some of them well, they might be questionable, but I know you can handle it. You’re going in under cover. You will play many roles and you will lure them to you and secretly rate them. Do you understand your assignment?”

“Si, papi. Si.”

The woman purred and smiled seductively as she eyed the man in front of her.

“I remember how I secretly rated you when you was interviewing for my first job as secret agent in this secret planetary orgainization. It was a piece of cake.”

“Well now I am glad you understand your, wait a minute are you saying that…you rated me? Well…how did I perform?”

The man fidgeted in his seat waiting for the answer. The woman smiled as she took a white hair pick from her hair and allowed her coffee colored hair to fall in thick waves around her shoulders. The man began to sweat as she crossed and uncrossed her legs.

“Well Sato, damn it, stop your shit and tell me already.”

“You were…a good…o__cho.” She said making sure her lips were a perfect red O.

“Ocho? EIGHT YOU’RE SAYING YOU RATED ME AN EIGHT! DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT I’VE NEVER HAD ANY COMPLAINTS! NOT FROM MY WIFE OR..ANY OTHER FEMALE.” the man sputtered as he looked crossly from behind the shadows to see the woman sitting there with a very blank and emotionless expression on her face. He wished as hell that he could rate her eight or lower, but they both knew he would be lying, in fact, she was the best he’s ever had and he’s had plenty he couldn’t help it, women were attracted to him. But his Sato she was built to give a man any man a blissful sexual orgasm, hell, most of them died by her hand so beautifully, if he was to die he’d want her sent to him, but, this assignment would be different, she wouldn’t be dealing with entirely human men here. That gave him pause to smile, granted he was an extrodinary man to say the least, but, these men are from an anime already created to act and behave a certain way, she will have to find ways to get through that in order to succeed, yes it will be a challenge.

He coughed as he noticed her watching him wistfully and waiting for him to continue “these men are different they are anime men. One in particular you probably wont have any difficulty, but the others…just don’t sit there and be to damn cocky. Do not screw up this mission.”

The woman shrugged an air of an ‘I don’t care’ shoulder.

“As if I ever screwed anything up…well…I never screwed badly. Who is my assignment?”

“The male cast of Inuyasha.”

“Really.” She purred octaves lower. She knew the show and in fact watched it when ever time permitted.

“Well, I see you won’t have any problems. Here’s the first one.”

He tossed the manila envelope across the desk and she picked it up with a perfectly manicured hand. She pulled out a picture of the dark hanyou lord. Naraku.

“Now, Sato, with him please be careful, he seems to relish on causing people pain, and he has a miasma that can kill you so when you fight him please be careful not to cut him and even though you would be entering a cartoon you can still get hurt pretty bad, and I will pull you out as soon as possible, but, don’t get yourself killed there. I will equip you with enough spiritual aura so that you can battle him and at least make a front of trying to get away, but, we only have an idea on how evil he is, we aren’t for sure certain. So, try to keep him tempered.”

“Yes Capitán.”

MISSION A: SEDUCE THE PRINCE OF HELL

She was brought to an orange room where a weird machine took up the center. Many men and women wearing yellow lab coats were bustling around the room taking notes and checking different computers. Sato sat there in a white fluffy robe waiting for her orders. Her Captain though still in a shadow standing beside her telling her what she was to expect.

“Please Ms. Sato, remove your robe and lay down onto the table.”

Her little hands untied the belt and let the robe fall to the floor in a puddle around her feet. The man and woman in orange looked at her feet. Sato looked at them.

“I am not taking off my stiletto’s so you can forget about it.”

They left her alone and let her climb up onto the table. They began sticking all these wires with the big sticky circle tape all over her body, starting with the forehead and temples. One of the male scientist there had a wire and he was sweating as he was inching toward her lower region. A female scientist smacked the upside of his head and grabbed the wire.

“Perverted idiot!” She snapped as she placed the wire on a very well trimmed vagina. The other guys watched with their minds in the gutter. Last they took all her vitals and placed a needle into her arm. Sato soon felt herself feeling a little air headed. The ceiling opened up to have a screen the size of a human body move down on top of her. They turned it on and watched as her body became transparent, just the ghost of the form still lay on the table.


~~~******~~~

Sato found herself in a glade looking up at the night sky. ‘That was weird, but am I really here?’ Soon she heard a buzzing in the inside of her ear. Looking around she didn’t see anything so she shrugged her shoulders and thought that maybe the buzzing she heard had something to do with the trip she took. Soon she heard his voice.

“Sato, did you arrive alright?”

She looked around but didn’t see her Capitán.

“Where are you? I do not see you.”

“You’re connected to the computer so I can hear you and you can hear me. And I can see everything, but, to me you look like a cartoon, how does it look on your end?”

“Very realistic.”

“Ok, that’s good. Now, in a moment Naraku is going to be flying over your head. I am inputting you an outfit that would attract his eye and giving you a very pure and powerful aura. However, his miasma shouldn’t bother you. On top of that, we are installing within you a power to keep a lot of his demons inside, I am pretty sure you don’t want all those unsightly things coming out of him while you have sex with him.”

Sato nodded. The next thing she knew she was wearing something that looked like she was wearing nothing but gauze. A white band wrapped around her throat and teed out to make a band around her nice C cup breast along the sides of her waist the band formed to her thighs and circled them leaving her pruned flower showing and of coarse her stiletto heels that she loved. Her hair was pulled up into two long pony tails and she had on her a white leather leash.

‘Well, if he doesn’t like this…what am I thinking, of coarse…look at me I make myself hot thinking about how hot I look.’

She smiled when she sensed his evil presence and just like she sensed him, he sensed her. Soon his cloud of darkness ascended on her and he was standing a few feet away from her in the glade. He was a very handsome man er thing in this alternate reality. If he was this good looking she couldn’t wait to see what the other’s looked like.

His velvety words sliced through her thoughts.

“Who are you? What are you?”
Sato put on her most innocent face, her cinnamon eyes turning wide with fear and foreboding.

“Please, sir, or whatever you are, please help me. I come from the future and I am here to protect the shikon no tama. Do you know where it is?”

His eyes smolded over with the words shikon no tama.

“What would a girl like you know about the shikon no tama?”

“Like I said sir, I am a priestess from the future, I must come into the past and correct the damage that has been done. The jewel got into the hands of an evil person named Naraku, and if he is to find me before I find the jewel, well, I could be in big trouble, for I was told that he will have sex with me, and once I’ve been made impure I will not be able to save the jewel or the future.”

A wolfish smile spread across the dark hanyou’s face and with a sneer in his voice he said “is that so?”

‘ChaChing, hook line and sinker stupid man.’

“Yes, that is so sir, can you help me?”

“Yes, I can.” He said in that oh so velvet voice.

“What is your name little miko?”

“Koumiryou Sato.”

“Nice to meet you Koumiryou Sato my name in Naraku.”

Sato pretended to feel fear and opened her cinnamon eyes wide and turn to run causing her leash to fly behind her. Naraku upon seeing it grabbed it and jerked her back.

“Well, like a rabbit my pure little miko from the future tries to flee, not so little miko your staying right here with me.”

“Please sir, please do not taint me with your evil, I will be like a fallen angel please don’t I must stay pure.” Sato said in a thick accent. She started praying in Spanish which only caused him to want to do it more.

He pulled her body flush up against his and hovered over her chanting lips. “What language is that that you speak miko?”

“Spa..spanish…please…don’t take me…please don’t I’ll do anything if you don’t…”

“Anything….huh…well, how about you let me kiss you and then maybe I’ll let you go.”

“Really, you will let me go if I …”

He captured her lips with his and they were soft, he had a scent to him and it smelt like he’s been in a closet with some molding wood around him. It did make her sick. Communicating with her Capitán via thought waves she conveyed that she needed her nose to smell something else. Soon the pleasant odor of a tropical island wafted in her nose. ‘Thank you Capitán.’

Naraku bit her lip and caused her to gasp while he stuck his tongue into the recess of her mouth. He wasn’t a very good kisser. He was fast and sloppy. He covered her mouth with his and tried to suffocate her she thought. She pushed against him so that she could breath, but when she did that a blast of spiritual energy pushed at him and hurled him away from her. Sato smiled. ‘that’s right, I’m supposed to be a priestess.’

Naraku growled and made his hand turn into a pliable bone tentacle. “I don’t think so little miko, I will make you pay for that.” He circled around her then went at her as she held her arms out in front balls of light flew at him but he dodged them.

‘My god, what is going on here, he’s just dodging them like nothing, where is my gun when I need it. I know I have to have sex with him, but I can’t make it this easy either.’

The tentacle snaked around her and she jumped through it’s loop to find another one firmly squeezing her around her arms pinning them down. He pulled her to him her back facing the front of his armor. He whispered into her ear.

“Well, I guess I won’t let you go naughty little miko.”

His elegant hands that know no dirty work worked its way up her thigh, and over her abdomen. His breath tickled just below her earlobe but now that she could smell it she thought that maybe a tic tac would help if but a little. He trailed wet kisses on her cheek and she cringed. ‘Kounyo he’s a bad kisser.’ His hand slid across her breast and squeezed…hard her eyes tightened. ‘Ok, I knew he was going to like it rough, but damn, I wasn’t expecting me to not like this. I have to turn this around before I get sick.’

She returned his kisses feverently trying to coax him to let go of her hands so that she can remedy something from this. She’s never abandoned a job before and she wouldn’t stop now. She was close to it when the ex president Clinton try to entice her into bed with his sax fetish, but she only stooped to giving him head under the table with the name of his intern Monica Lewinsky letting that poor girl take the fall. However, it didn’t matter to her for she remembered getting plenty of money for bringing his name through the mud so that the republican’s had a reason to have a bad campaign against him.

‘Ok, I am only trying to have sex with the hell hanyou on this show Inuyasha, he’s nothing I’ve bedded worst demons. Ok chica you can do this.’
She sucked on his tongue and made his mouth move to hers. ‘Ok, he’s quick to learn. Good. I like that in a man.’

Soon she found herself looking into the deep black fire in his crimson eyes, “what game are you playing wench? You know how to make a man yearn for more.” Sato just put on her most innocent rabbit eyes that she could muster and even blushed crimson for his sake.

“Please, I don’t want to feel these things your making me feel, please stop.” She said breathlessly through swelling red lips.

Well at least it wasn’t really a lie. His hand cupped her face while his tentacle turned her around while his hand sought out her sexual pit. When he found that no cloth resided there at all. He looked astonished eyes at her.

“Why aren’t you covered here miko?”

Sato blushed. “In my time, the priestess wears outfits like these to remind men of how pure we are.”

“In my time it only wants to make a man lie the wench on her back.” And with that he roughly laid her down and put his body over hers. She closed her eyes shut and panted. “Please sir, please don’t touch…don’t touch me there.”

He sneered an evil smile and let his hands brush across her skin there and felt the soft pelt of hair that he traced out as the shape of a little oval, kind’ve like a squirrels tail only not so bushy. He purred as he rubbed on it like Lenny pets the rabbits. At least he put a nice pressure on it her walls began to water. He dipped a finger within her walls as she mewled and squirmed under his ministrations.

“Like that do you little Sato?”

Than before she could answer he shoved two fingers into her body stretching her out and rubbing her madly. It was a little uncomfortable but she of coarse was able to tolerate it. She pretended to try to push him out and cry out in pain. He removed his hand and with his tongue he licked her outer folds and sloppily kissed her nether lips. He had no idea what he was doing, she thought, any forms of natural lubrication died away when he was doing what he was doing. She almost laid there bored. When all of a sudden she felt his shadow looming over her.

She opened her eyes from her fake disbelief of the molestation he was placing on her and she noticed that he had an evil laugh in the back of his eyes. Again she knew what was coming and she braced herself for…for…

“Kukuku, little miko, now your impure, you are going to return to your world an impure failure. No virginity and no jewel and possibly my evil child will grow within your womb.” Sato was crying now, she was really crying, there was no helping him. For all of his big armor, good looks and evil contemplating he was…poor. She was so hoping that there would be something, anything. He rutted against her and she held on and did all the pretending she needed to do. Crying, pleading and begging for more just so that he could hurry up. When he was finally done he put his clothes back on and looked at her dirty state laughing he floated into the air and disappeared.

“Capitán!”

She was brought back into her own dimension she oponed her eyes and sat up pulling all of the things sticking to her off. Especially the one there!

“Sir, the readings.” One of the scientist stated when she pulled them off.

“Read this!” Sato said grinding her teeth as she punched the guy out with one swift move. “Capitán I need a vibrator or something!”

Later after she had satisfied herself and took a hot shower to rinse away his stench she went back to his office and sat in front of his desk.

“Sato.”

“The report Capitán.” She handed him the folder. He opened it, read it briefly and nodded as he puffed on his cigarette.

“Good work Sato, I knew I picked the right girl for the job, I hope that the future brings you better targets.”

“Keh, he is a joke.”

MISSION A: SEDUCE THE PRINCE OF HELL
STATUS: THE PRINCE OF HELL HATH NO FURY HE BARELY SPARKED A FLAME!
SEXUAL RATING: FROM ONE TO TWENTY: 1

************************************************
I hope you liked it; when I first wrote it, it was three in the morning. My friend and I were looking at some really cool, hot, and downright sexy fanart earlier that day and we thought what would happen if there was a way that they could turn real and if they would be everything that we thought they were sexually, thus, this idea was sprung up into my head.

Well, I thought it would be a good breather for me since I'm still writing on Betrayal's Gift. I am so near the end and I guess I am not ready to finish it, cause I keep putting it off. Oh, well, I need to write again.

Adios