Violence
Violence
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TITLE
AUTHOR
RATING
SEME
SUMMARY
thinking about Sesshoumaru.
VIOLENCE
The song ‘Violence’ is owned by Blink 182.
Takahashi. I’m just playing with them. Ever since I heard this song (and
specifically the line that says ‘long hair that blows side to
Now that it’s been more than a year since I heard the song first, I finally
wrote my fic. ^_^ It's the first songfic I’ve ever
written, so don’t' judge it too harshly, would you?
Inuyasha dropped the
on the ground below him moodily. The pale light cast sharp shadows on the
ground below, revealing the absolute stillness, loneliness of the place. There
was no one around – there never was anyone around. He didn’t want to
Six bottles went down the
drain
One hour’s a waste of time
I’d ask if you feel the
same
Still pushin’
that chance to try
Sesshoumaru… that was what – whom
– his thoughts insisted upon returning to.
Sesshoumaru.
His brother.
Sesshoumaru…
He could sit here for hours and
think of nothing but his name. Sesshoumaru…
His brother who hated him and
wasted no opportunity to tell him so.
He wished he could hate Sesshoumaru.
Sometimes, he almost could… Never quite, but almost. And
he wanted to, so badly… it would be merciful. Then he could keep his head when
he saw him, maybe… Maybe he could actually want to fight him.
Your breath in this cool
room chill
Long hair that blows side
to side
You speak and make time
stand still
And
each time you walk right on by
He closed his eyes, letting them
slide shut to block out the moonlit scenery. Unbidden, an image rose in his
mind – of Sesshoumaru, of course, as he had looked the last time he had seen
him. Pale, perfect skin, not marred but accented by the almost delicate,
pinkish stripes on his cheeks, by the dark moon on his forehead that contrasted
so starkly with his fair face.
His hair, the purest white – in
the daylight it shone like ice, like the not-quite-real glitter of unbroken
snow in the sun. Except that he had last seen him in the moonlight… and it
shone like molten silver in the moonlight. Gods, that hair…
And he
got a perfect view of that gorgeous hair, too… blowing in the cool breeze… as
Sesshoumaru walked away. Again. He always walked away… He crossed their path,
insulted them… seemed to never notice how everything
and everyone froze when he appeared, when he spoke… and walked away.
Like violence
You have me
Forever
And after
Like violence
You kill me
Forever
And after
Inuyasha groaned and dug his
claws into the tree. He would give anything, anything, to keep
Sesshoumaru from walking away from him. To be able to stop him from doing so.
It was killing him. He would
never be able to hate Sesshoumaru, not when he wanted him so desperately… He
couldn’t stop himself. He wanted Sesshoumaru so badly, wanted him to accept
him… Wanted to make him accept him. Wanted to grab him and keep him from walking
away, making him look at him, make him stay and just for once face what he did
to him. Make him see that as long as Sesshoumaru was around, he would be
utterly at his mercy, whether he wanted it or not… whether he acknowledged it
or not.
He wanted to hate Sesshoumaru for
what he could do to him, with a glance… A glimpse of his
perfect… beautiful… face… A single word. Sesshoumaru owned him utterly…
And for
that, he wanted to own Sesshoumaru just as utterly. He wanted to have
Sesshoumaru at his mercy, hold him captive…
His inability to have him was
killing him. He was sure of it.
Can’t count all the eyes
that stare
Can’t count all the things
they see
He kills with a life to
spare
Just victims and left to
bleed
He wasn’t quite dense enough, or lovestruck
enough, not to see that he wasn’t the only one Sesshoumaru had that effect on.
Sesshoumaru was probably used to it by now; he was so beautiful that people had
probably been falling in love with him at first sight for centuries. Maybe even
his entire life. Anyone who knew him couldn’t help but be obsessed with him…
He just wished he knew for sure
what it was that affected him so badly. He had tried for years to figure it
out… As far as he could tell, it was just Sesshoumaru. Everything about him.
The utter confidence with which he carried himself. The absolute icy coldness
of his demeanor. His breathtaking physical beauty. The danger he represented.
He wanted to break that
confidence. Melt that ice. Own that beauty. Tame the danger. He wanted it all.
There was more, though… so much indefinably more…
He didn’t know. Sesshoumaru just
walked through life leaving his victims in his wake, letting them die slow,
painful deaths at the hands of his heartlessness. He killed men and women a
little more every day and didn’t even seem to notice…
One drink and the pain
Soft shadows lay by his
feet
Lay soft as you slowly
drown
Lay still as you fall
asleep
(fall
asleep)
He supposed it wasn’t really such
a bad death to die… dying because of Sesshoumaru’s ignorance of his feelings. A
lot like falling asleep in the snow… he was just slowly going numb.
The pile of souls at
Sesshoumaru’s feet was slowly growing, and he never even noticed… maybe it was
more like drowning. Trying to shoulder aside that pile of his brother’s
previous victims and suffocating under their weight.
Like violence
You have me
Forever
And after
Like violence
You kill me
Forever
And after
(and
after… and after… and after… and after…)
If only Sesshoumaru would acknowledge what he was doing,
though! If he would just acknowledge that he knew, that he wasn’t blithely
unaware of the lives he ruined, it would be bearable… If he had any reason to
think Sesshoumaru was doing it on purpose, he would have no problem throwing
off the effects just to spite him, as though it were just another attack.
He wished he could believe that.
He had the feeling, though, that he had no idea. Not only was it not a weapon
he employed, but he was like a child, completely, innocently unaware that he
was wreaking havoc. That made it so much worse…
That was a strange word to apply
to Sesshoumaru… innocent. And yet, though he was a
murderer probably hundreds or thousands of times over, though he was cruel and
cold… everything about him screamed of purity. The pure, barely tainted
coloring of his entire person, the almost completely
emotionless way in which he viewed the world. Even when he was fighting,
killing, Sesshoumaru was emotionless. So violent, so dangerous, and yet so cold
at the same time. It
was as though, no matter what else he was, he had a side of his personality,
the best side, which was completely untapped…
Inuyasha wanted so desperately to
be the one to tap that part of him, to release the true passion his emotionless
front was hiding…
Like violence
and after
Like violence
Like violence
and after
Like violence
That was when he saw him.
Inuyasha froze so as not to alert him to his presence, to be able to watch him
in peace. He passed briefly under the shadow of a tree, and he all but
disappeared, only to reappear a few steps later and all the
more radiant for the absence. Not only his hair shone like silver, but
his entire being seemed to radiate a muted glow, like that of the moon itself.
If Inuyasha could tear his eyes away, he could look up and see the moon, compare
the two…
Of course, he would never be able
to tear his eyes away from Sesshoumaru. Not now, not ever,
even if only to see just how pathetic the moon was in comparison.
He felt as though he couldn’t
even spare his eyes to blink, that possibly the vision of ephemeral beauty
would simply disappear if he took his eyes from it. In the moonlight like this,
his fair skin seemed to have no color whatsoever; his hair, his face, his
clothing, all seemed to be made of the same silken threads, so delicate yet so
strong, and altogether so unearthly beautiful…
He ached to his very core. He
needed to have him…
Like violence
You have me
Forever
And after
Like violence
You kill me
Forever
And after
At the base of the tree so far below
him, Sesshoumaru paused briefly, looking at something. Inuyasha had nearly
forgotten the sake jug he’d let fall. There was no way Sesshoumaru could be
unaware of him now. He would lose this perfect moment of tranquility, though
there were far worse things to break it than Sesshoumaru’s smooth voice…
He glanced up. For a moment,
Inuyasha had a view of his full face, lit brightly by the moon though the rest
of his body was dappled with the clear-cut shadows of the leaves. In this
light, even his deep golden eyes appeared nearly colorless…
Sesshoumaru would see him now. If
he didn’t see him, he would smell him, or hear his
now-racing heartbeat, or even just sense him… There was no way Sesshoumaru was
unaware of his presence now. He was almost looking forward to the inevitable
confrontation… maybe he could tell him what he was doing here, for real…
Then Sesshoumaru looked back down
and turned away from the tree, his long hair swaying…
And he
walked away.
Like violence
You have me
Forever
And after
Like violence
You kill me
Forever
And after
He would never be free.
Never.