Kuronue's New Love

Hey guys! Some of my reviewers who enjoy this pairing may find this one-shot funny. Since I can't post it yet on fanfiction.net, because some asshole decided one of my stories was copied or something, they have temporaily freezed my account until a week goes by. Needless to say I'm very pissed off at the sit manager right now and have no other sit to post this on. So I thought I'd post it here and see if anyone likes it or thinks its funny! Well see ya!
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Kuronue's New Love

Chapter 1


“I don’t wanna’,” the man whined staring up at the towering hill of the monstrosity known as the roller coaster.

“Yes, you do,” a girl demanded trying in vain to push the larger demon forward. But it was no use. His slouched stance and what little body weight she carried did her no good as the man did not budge an inch. He turned his head to glance behind to see his mate pushing insistently against his back and smirked at her. She sent him a vicious glare in return which turned into a pout when he still continued to deny her.

“Come on, where’s your sense of adventure?” another man spoke up mockingly. He tipped his silver head back and grinned maliciously at his partner.

“NO! I’m not going to go on that contraption and that’s final!” Ten minutes later found him standing at the back end of a huge line that seemed never ending. (Good maybe it will be). He could stand in line for all eternity for all he cared. Just as long as he didn’t have to get on....that. His arms were crossed cutely in front of his chest and his mouth was frowned down in a pout as he glared at his evil, evil partner and equally evil, evil mate.

He turned green when he saw a human walk by and puke in a trash can whil his friends stood back and laughed at the poor, unknowing fool. (Ha), Kuronue scoffed at the idiot boy. (He should have known better than to climb on that...that horrid machine!) It was so big, so huge, so....scary! “See,” he pointed to the boy trying to make his point to his less than amused mate. “See what happens Kagome? Do you want that to happen to me?”

“Kuronue, you’re such a wimp,” the kitsune laughed, wrapping an arm around the girl. “Why don’t you be a man and suck it up? Come on, you’ve looked death in the face and screamed ‘ha!’ before.”

“Yeah, just before she kicked me in the ass and then the balls just for good measure,” Kuronue grumbled. “She was pretty cute, though!”

Kagome smacked him on the arm. “Hey! That was only because you called me a fat pig and said that I was never going to take you alive....which was true...since you were dead!” Kagome stepped up and planted her forehead against the stupid kumouri demon. Kuronue growled and stared right back, arms reaching to grab her shoulders.

“No need to shout, love, we can hear you just fine,” Yoko winced rubbing his ears and crying out when she pinched him in return. Then he smirked. He loved when his little vixen got into a fight with his best friend. It made him sooooo horny to see them all up in each other’s faces like that. Yoko’s thoughts trailed off as his face slipped into an all knowing and perverted mask while Kuronue and Kagome continued their...discussion.

“Well you were trying to steal my soul,” Kuronue proclaimed, stepping even closer.

(Oh yeah) This from Yoko who was still thinking dirty thoughts.

“You were dying you fool! I wasn’t the one who told you to go break into some rich king's vault and steal stuff just to have him turn around and send all of his men after you. News flash! I didn’t kill you, they did!”

Kagome pushed him away stubbornly.

(Damn) Yoko’s ears drooped in disappointment.

“I couldn’t help it. It was Yoko! He left me there!” Kuronue stepped back up to the plate, lips just inches from Kagome’s mouth.

(Yeah...hey wait!) Yoko’s ears pricked...and then lay flat against his skull.

“Hey, it was you who told Yoko to run....if you didn’t want to die, why did you tell him to run?” Kagome challenged, eyes drifting shut.

“It was worth it,” Kuronue moaned just before smothering her lips with his own, resulting in a full make out session as all around them people stared and fainted, while Yoko...fumed quietly in his head. It wasn’t his fault Kuronue died. One woman passed out in her husbands arms as her husband just continued to stare at the happy...er...the pissed...er...the couple!

Kagome pulled away and smiled at the bat. “How so?”

“Well I met you didn’t I...and for some reason you let me live...although come to think of it, why did you bring me back to my body and let me live again?” He’d always wondered about that. Yoko had almost had a hernia when Kuronue had walked in the door with a mate and said he was ‘back from the dead, did ya’ miss me? I’m starved, what’s for dinner?’

“Honestly; you were annoying me with your incessant nagging about dying too early and something about you never getting the chance to see me naked-hey wait! I put you back in your body because you didn’t get to see me naked?!”

“I didn’t know that,” Yoko spoke up, eyes wide in curiosity and Kagome could clearly see the response that was sure to follow. “That was a good one, Kuronue.”

Kagome smacked Yoko on his ass, though Yoko only wiggled his eyebrows playfully. “Kinky, vixen. Can’t you wait?!” She blushed and then tossed her hair and sent him her own smirk, a smirk filled with promise, and walked off, still dragging the protesting bat demon behind as the line moved up a bit more.
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About a million hours later...

“Wow!” Yoko sat gawking, staring up at the large hill they were about to climb. He had one hand above his eyes, shading them from the glow of the sun as he tried to see just what was over the hill. He couldn’t even see anything from his seat behind his mate.

Kagome was in the seat in front of him with Kuronue on her left.

“You have pretty hair,” a little voice spoke up from beside Yoko and both Kuronue and Kagome turned to see a little girl, head tilted way, way back as she stared up at Yoko, one finger pressed to her lips in awe.

“Why...thank you, little girl,” Yoko grinned broadly. Of course he had pretty hair. He already knew this, but it was nice to hear someone else say it once in awhile. The only compliments he got were when he and his mate were in bed.

“Are you a girl?” the little girl asked innocently.

Yoko’s face fell as Kuronue began laughing and Kagome giggled at the cuteness of the girl. “How did you know?” Kuronue questioned the girl, eyes wide with amusement.

Yoko growled at Kuronue and turned to the little girl. “No, I’m not a girl! I’m a kitsune.”

The little girl’s mouth opened into a little ‘o’ expression. Her head tilted to the side. “What’s a kitsune?”

Kagome and Kuronue collapsed laughing together while Yoko pouted even more. “It’s a type of demon, kid,” he tried not to growl.

“What’s a demon? Why do you have ears? Why are his ears pointed...and his face is white...are you sick mister man?” she asked, addressing the ashen face of Kuronue as he caught a glimpse of the ground below him. He tried to tell himself that everything was okay and if worse things come to worse than he could just fly away...right?! But not if he was strapped into this confounded contraption. Kuronue’s eyes widened as he began panicking in his seat. First he tried to forcefully push the bar up. But when that didn’t seem to be working he began gnawing on the bars, intent on getting out of this torture device before it dumped him to his bloody and quite-frankly-stupid-way-of-dying death. He was a demon. He wanted to go down fighting to his last breath...or screw-.

Kagome turned to survey her mate and indeed found his face very white as they were now approaching the top of the hill. “Are you okay, Kuronue?” she asked lying a hand gently on his arm, thus thwarting me from finishing that sentence Kuronue was about to think. “Don’t worry. Just close your eyes. It’ll all be over soon.”

“That’s what you said when we first met,” Kuronue muttered and Kagome couldn’t find it in her heart to be offended.

“Its okay, mister man. Rides are fun!” the little girl chirped leaning forward and patting the back of Kuronue’s hair.

Kuronue looked over his head and wondered if maybe he was making too big a deal out of all this.

“Hey, Kuronue, this little girl has better nerves than you do,” Yoko taunted.

Kuronue growled and sat up straighter, determined to face this like a man. “Watch it, kitsune, no lit’l bit of a girl is going to get the best of me on this ride, nor you for that matter.”

“That’s the spirit!” Kagome and Yoko screamed together just as the ride tipped over the hill and Kuronue’s eyes fell back into his skull.
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Five minutes later and it was Yoko who surprisingly hadn’t been able to hack it. His head was now buried in a trash can while a green looking Kagome rubbed his back and Kuronue was the laughing friend. “Ha that was fun!” Kuronue crowed triumphantly, pumping his fist into the air like Captain Planet. He had never felt so alive. That had been so exhilarating, so exuberating, so....fun! It was almost as good as stealing....or screw-.

“Speak for yourself idiot,” Yoko grumbled, thus cutting me off again from making Kuronue finish that perverted thought, lifting his head just long enough to glare at his partner...that was until his head spun again and his stomach heaved. He choked up bile and turned back to his salvation in the form of a trash can.

“I don’t know who was screaming louder,” Kuronue just didn’t know when to quit. “You...or the little girl...or perhaps that was you screaming like a baby.” He noticed his mate was looking a bit ill her self.

“What’s the matter, Kagome?” he asked innocently, batting his eyelashes. “Didn’t you enjoy that? After all it was you who tried to convince me that rides were not ‘transports for the dead’ and that they did not ‘suck out your souls when you go through the tunnels.’ Are you sure that information was accurate?”

“Kuronue,” Kagome growled and made to wrap her hands around his neck until the dizziness got to her as well and she and Yoko shared in their misery together. It was quite the bonding experience!

Later on that night when Kagome and Kurama were finally finished emptying the contents of their stomachs, Kuronue was the only one who still appeared in high spirits as Yoko and Kagome had to practically hold each other up. “So...” he turned to them. “I think we should try that next.” Kuronue pointed to the tallest, most deadly, most vile mother of all roller coasters.

Yoko fainted, while Kagome ran for another trash can.

Kuronue smirked. He was happy! Then he was sad when he realized he didn’t have a riding buddy. He ran off and quickly found the little girl from before and he was happy once again! Of course he became unhappy when she asked if he was a witch. He then asked her if he said yes would she ride the rides with him. She had told him yes...if he could do a witches trick. He was happy yet again...until he realized he didn’t know any witches tricks...then he was very sad. When nobody was looking, of course they wouldn’t have seen him anyway as he was one of the Makai’s greatest and most handsomest of all bandits, he swiped a broom from a maintenance person and used his wings to make it look like he was flying, scaring most of the people away but succeeding in his quest to find a riding buddy! So as you can probably guess Kuronue became extremely happy....until he saw the wait for the line, to which he almost cried tears of agony. Then he became tremendously happy when the line moved....and then sad when the line barely moved a foot. And so after many bouts of bipolar emotions, Kuronue and the little girl finally, finally made it to the front of the line....only to be told that the park was closing and the line was closed! Of course Kuronue’s bipolar disorder shot through the roof as he became really, very, extremely, emotionally....ANGRY! That’s when the little girl got angry and demanded that they let them ride the ride because if the little operator didn’t want to die, he should back down or let the witch boil him in her stew. Kuronue was happy again until he heard the witch part. But nevertheless little girls can be quite scary when they don’t get their way...so the operator ‘generously’ wished them a pleasant night and let them have the whole ride to themselves. Kuronue was happy!

Which leads us to now as Kuronue met back up with his mate and best friend, only to find them slumped together on a park bench, arms wrapped around each other, and snoring peacefully. And although Kuronue might have thought the picture was certainly very cute, he just couldn’t contain his excitement anymore and knew Yoko and Kagome would want to hear all about his day. So he did the only thing a witch, I mean a bat demon, would do in that situation. He picked them both up and carried them back to the tallest, most deadliest, most evil mother of all roller coasters and demanded the operator let his two ‘friends’ ride the rids as they were so excited about all the others that they wanted to save the best for last.

When the operator pointed out that his two ‘friends’ were sleeping, Kuronue waved him away, telling him that their eyes were simply permanently sewed shut due to a horrible eyes surgery gone bad, which made him think of Yomi, that cursed bastard that always tried to take over his place as Yoko’s bitch, I mean second in command, and strapped his two friends in. Grinning broadly he shut his eyes just as the empty cars dove over the side.

Ah, he must remember to thank Kagome later.
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Well, it is over? Was it funny, stupid, boring, stupid? Please don't tell me if it was dumb, I couldn't handle the pain! Anyway I hope you guys at least got some amusement over it. Kuronue did.

Ja ne
Kura-kun's-lovr