Obsession

Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine, and I apologize in advance to Takahashi-sama for using her amazingly beautiful bishies to satisfy my hentai whims ;).

a/n: 9/2 - just making minor edits; i have an update for this that I'm working on, will probably be up sometime in the next few days.

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I can't explain why it started. Nor can I pinpoint exactly when I began to look at him that way.

I will admit that I found him… attractive – for a ningen. With his thick black hair and piercing violet eyes, it was hard for anyone – ningens and youkai alike – not to take notice of the sensual beauty that the gods had graced him with.

The monk was very aware of the appeal he had as well, since he often used it to his advantage. There was hardly a human village in all of Edo that did not have a maiden or two swooning over the memory of his touch. The charm the young man possessed was staggering.

But I should have never been suspect to such things. I had thought such things beneath me. Yet, on the occasions that I would engage in battle with that infernal half-breed brother of mine, my gaze was always drawn to the violet eyes of the monk. I could easily lose myself in their depths – they were so filled with wisdom, intelligence, charm and… mortality that they were fascinating to me.

He was fascinating to me.

Beautiful, mortal, intelligent, charismatic and doomed.

Often I wondered why he traveled with my baka half-brother, since the houshi certainly seemed wise enough to choose better companions.

After a while, I understood their association. It was simple, really.

They were both seeking vengeance against the other vile hanyou. Fair enough, but it would be this Sesshoumaru who would destroy the scourge that was Naraku.

The houshi became an obsession of mine. I often followed their group in hiding; my ward and my retainer dutifully by my side. We traveled parallel to their little group, ostensibly to find Naraku, but in reality it was so that I could gain an occasional glimpse of the monk who would die from a hole in his hand.

It was amusing to watch his attentions spurned by the females he traveled with. The young monk's hand seemed to have a mind of its own. I chuckled to myself each and every time the houshi would end up flat on the ground bearing a bright red handprint on his face. Yet still, the houshi would smile and carry on, happy and content with himself and the life that the gods had graced him with.

A life that was doomed by the curse that had followed his family through three generations. It was ironic that this same curse had given the houshi the power to stand up against the minions of the one who had cursed his family. And he used it often, even though each time he used the deadly kazaana, it brought him closer to his death. It was likely that he would not survive long enough to even face Naraku in battle, let alone defeat him.

He was a paradox, and I have spent many nights wondering exactly what it was that drove him to continue with such a hopeless quest for retribution. Not only would he probably die long before he obtained his vengeance; he just did not seem to be the vengeance seeking type. In fact, had I not seen him in battle I would not have thought him capable of causing the slightest harm to another being. Yet, he was a warrior and a force to be reckoned with; in complete contradiction with his otherwise pacifistic nature.

I remember the first time I saw him. I had challenged the half-breed for the sword. Peripherally, I had noticed the monk as well as the miko, and I thought the hanyou was a weak fool to keep such company. But when I launched my attack against the half-breed, the monk jumped in front of him protectively.

I had scoffed.

Really, Inuyasha, you need a ningen houshi to protect you? Pathetic,’ were my thoughts as the monk had the audacity to threaten me.

I narrowed my eyes and prepared to attack again – I would kill the monk and show the half-breed the error of his ways. Bad enough that he was half human himself; he did not have to compound the shame of it by befriending the inferior creatures.

And then the monk had opened his hand.

For a minute, I had actually thought that my life may have been in peril. It was a serious blow to my pride that I had to use the wasps Naraku had given me in order to defend myself.

And that was when my interest in the monk began. It had merely started as a way to convince myself that it had all been a fluke, and a mere human had not almost taken me down.

So I watched him, and often. I found myself looking for reasons to engage the hanyou in a fight, just so I could observe his dark haired houshi companion. And each time I saw him, my curiosity only grew.

A conundrum, he was. One that was mine and mine alone to solve, and yet with every thought I spent on the houshi, I began to detest myself for it. For an eternal creature such as I to even acknowledge the existence of the houshi is belittling in and of itself. The fact that he occupies most of my thoughts is shameful.

I thought that if I could understand him, then the obsession would falter, and I would soon grow bored with what could not be more than a momentary curiosity.

But the more I watched him, the more I became obsessed.

And then the obsession took an unexpected and unwelcome turn.

I began to desire him.

I wanted to see his face flushed with passion. I wanted to hear his silky voice whisper my name, as he writhed underneath me.

And the more I desired him, the more I began to detest myself for it.

Now, I plan on killing him. It is what brings me to their camp, alone, in the middle of the night.

I will remove the source of my anguish from existence. If anything, I will be doing the houshi a favor by doing so. For the death that I will provide him with is a much better alternative than the one he is fated to meet.

So why am I hesitating?

The rest of his companions have already fallen asleep. Even that detestable half brother of mine is snoring so loudly, he could wake the dead.

And none of them have yet to sense my presence. As if they even could – as a taiyoukai, I am well versed in shielding my youki. I cannot be detected unless I want to be.

I stand over the object of my obsession, and look down at him. Asleep, he is so very… peaceful. And so very young. In sleep, his face does not show the anguish that he hides from the rest of his companions.

But I have seen it.

I feel that I know this human better than all of them.

I kneel down next to him – determined to make this quick – when one sleepy violet eye cracks open.

My lips curl downwards into the slightest frown. I had not wanted to do this while he was awake.

Both of his eyes are open now, and I withdraw my Toukijin from its place by my side.

He sits up.

There is no fear in his eyes as he watches me. Only… acceptance.

He wants this death.

Suddenly, I find myself unable to do it, as I reach out and tenderly cup the side of his face.

His eyes widen in realization, and then flutter half closed in desire.

“Sesshoumaru…” he whispers, in a sultry tone.

To say that I am shocked would be an understatement.

Seemingly of their own accord, my fingers gently trail a path along the line of his jaw, and towards his inviting, pursed lips. My eyes widen in surprise when his lips part, and his pointed, wet tongue darts out to caress one of my trembling digits; not at all mindful of the sharp claw that could so easily rip into the soft skin of his throat.

I take in a sharp breath as my body reacts almost violently with need.

“Sesshou… bastard!”

The venomous voice comes from the canopy of the trees overhead, followed by a particularly large snore. With a slight frown, I realize that that idiot half-brother of mine is near to awakening. Certainly, his subconscious mind is aware of my presence, if I have become the focus of his dreams – or nightmares, as the case may be.

I need to leave. I need to finish what I came for and leave. But as I once again dare to meet those smoky, violet eyes with my own, I find that I cannot - cannot do what I intended to do, at any rate. Instead, I pull the unresisting ningen against me with my one good arm, and take to the skies in a cloud of youki.

I know not where I am headed with my prey, but as I feel him snuggle against my chest, and his warm breath ghost against the side of my neck, I find it doesn’t really matter where we go. As long as it is someplace… private.

End Part 1

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A/N: This is my first attempt at Yaoi fiction in any form, so please don’t flame me! This will probably be only two or three chapters at best. Hope you enjoy!

--Julie