By My Hands

Think, blood flows.
Daze, breath slows,
Move, bloody blade,
Run, memories fade,
Call, coming back,
Past, false attack.

~*~Chapter 1~*~Intro~*~

Kikyou worked at a strip club since her family died. The owner of the club takes care of her. Inuyasha is the head boss for a the dancers, and is the top office boss of the club. When Inuyasha comes to see the young Kikyou, he's amazed by her. But she has a secret...


Today was the day. Today was the day to perform more erotically than ever. HE had the say over who stays and who goes. HE decided on songs and the dance moves. HE decided everything.

And HE was coming today.

A woman stood behind stage ready to perform. Long midnight black hair flowed to her tight round ass. She had curves, oh yeah. Her full breasts were being tightly concealed behind a black leather corset. And her ass you ask? A small pair of red panties. But no ordinary panties... these were lace. All lace, and while it hid some parts, it was clear just how much she was a virgin. She spread her thighs for customers everyday, and everyday they would leave saying, "I wonder why that hot thing is still a virgin?"

It wouldn't matter soon anyways. HE was coming. HE personally watched and examined each and every dancer of his. And sometimes, took them for a test drive.

Yup, it was all over for her. She a virgin, a hot young thing. Only 19 years old. Ready to dance for men she didn't know. And one man she wished she would never meet. You see, virgins aren't allowed. You can't have a strip club if your dancers are virgins. Sometimes, in Tokyo there was one who called herself "virgin" to be more appealing to the customers. She was different, she knew that her virginity was non-existent as soon as he saw her. That's right. HE fucked out their brains right there on stage. HE had no issues with that, and HE makes more money if she’s a virgin getting defiled onstage. Everyone told her she was beautiful. They all sort of adopted her. She was living on the streets and she came looking for a job. The club manager said she'd give her a job, without question. No one had ever asked her about her past or why she chose here, but HE would be interviewing her today.

She took a deep breath before walking out into the red and blue lights. She slowly crawled her way over to her partner. A slim silver pole, standing upright from stage floor to ceiling. Her heart jumped into her throat when she saw HIM sitting front row. She knew it was him somehow. He seemed familiar, like he belonged here. She tried to ignore her loud heartbeats and continued her performance.

She held the pole, leaned on it. Slowly slid up and down it. She had to act especially horny today, of all days. The pole felt so good as it rubbed against her, between her thighs. That's the spot, now higher right against her favorite spot. She touched herself, and even though she knew she was just a dancer, it always seemed to her that it was just a fun way to publicly masturbate. She threw her head back, moaning and continued. She nearly tripped on the laces of her knee high boots. She recovered by flopping on the stage floor and rolling back and forth. She held her breasts, behind a thick corset. Moaning and whimpering she has soft, lusty brown eyes. Filled with passion, desire, even a tear escaped her. Knowing she was going it solo.

"Kikyou."

His voice was gentle yet commanding. Kikyou half stopped kneeling on all fours and looking at him, eyes heavy with pleasure. She blinked at him, waiting for him to say something. He stood, in all his power. Wearing loose jeans and a tee-shirt. His hair falling in a messy array around his neck and face. Kikyou was almost attracted to him.

"You, stay here."

Kikyou gave a small nod and shifted to a sitting position. She propped herself up with one arm, the other laying gracefully over her legs which were folded and to the side. He was only gone a second before returning. He sat in front of her. He stared at her all over, making sure she was perfect.

"Stand up."

His words were not harsh just straight-forward. She found it interesting that he could sound so calm and gentle and yet so commanding at the same time. She smiled at this and stood up like she was told. He looked at her face, her eyes her neck, and body. He examined every curve of her, almost as if he was getting to know a new car. She shivered a bit at his touch, he smiled at her telling her that he knew she was still aroused. She didn't mind it and took a deep breath making her chest expand. She almost popped a button on her corset.

"You can take it off if it's bothering you."

She was startled to hear this, she kept it on not wanting to expose to much on a first meeting. He shook it off, pretending he didn't say anything. He was so emotionless at times. Yet there was a certain quality about him the Kikyou liked very much. Also she loved the way he touched her. He ran his hands all over her, almost embracing her. She was intoxicated by him, the way he acted. The way he was so in charge of everything. In charge. That's right, she had to impress him. Or risk the loss of her home here. He gently pressed his hand into her lower back indicating her to walk with him. She was not nervous at all but more excited to learn more about this man.

"Kikyou. I have decided something."

He said closing the door ad locking it before standing closely in front of her. He was about 5 inches taller than her, even taller when she wasn't wearing her boots. Kikyou suddenly felt a low, sour feeling in her stomach. Throbarobably wouldn't end well.

"Kikyou, my name is Inuyasha."

Kikyou was afraid to say anything, she held out her hand to shake but he ignored it and placed it back by her side.

"I know where you came from but I don't know why. Tell me why you were out on the streets."

Kikyou suddenly felt very uncomfortable. She had a dirty secret, one that could get her in deep trouble. She decided to lie a bit.

"I... I am the only survivor of a family incident. My family is dead, knives slit their throats. I couldn't bear to stay in the house even after it was cleaned up. I didn't have any friends or money. So I wandered around and found this place. People were always telling me I was beautiful..."

"You are. One of the most beautiful women here."

He had cut her off, he wasn't rude or controlling. It was like he felt sorry for her. He smiled a weak sad smile.

"Arigato..."

Kikyou spoke slowly, barley passing a whisper. Inuyasha was amazed by her, he had felt her curves and knew her so well. He was ashamed to love her so much when she didn't even know him.

"Kikyou. I want you to know me."

"I do know you."

"No Kikyou, not my name, not my age. I want you to know me. In every way."

"Inuyasha..."

Inuyasha and Kikyou sat on the couch in the back room talking. Inuyasha told her everything. Kikyou didn't say much about herself, about her family that is. They talked for a long while, but what she liked best was that he held her. Held in gently in his lap while he talked. Her head against his chest, she could hear him breathe. She could hear his heart, and feel every movement and emotion in him.


~*~*~*~*~


It was night, Kikyou lay upstairs above the club. There was a small apartment there she shareth tth the manager and some of the other dancers.

"Kikyou, what happened today?"

"Akira, you're the manger of this joint, you should know."

"Actually, he's different with every girl. Well only you. He seemed so uptight when he was with the other girls. And seemed more laid back, almost like he shared a personal interest in you."

"Akira shut up. We just talked!"

"Talked! You talked! Oh gods no, this means he wants to get to know you. Kikyou he's in love with you! He doesn't just "talk" to his strippers!"

"Akira, shut your god damned mouth! I don't want to hear it!"

"Aww... Kikyou, of course you do. You're beautiful and talented... not just any dancer here pulls the attention of Inuyasha-sama like that. You're probably PMSing."

"Well... either way. He is really nice. I mean... he's gentle, he held me like I was made of glass..."

"He HELD YOU?! Oh Kikyou, he's got it bad. Girl he's is so deep in love with you! You couldn't get him out even if you betrayed him."

"Betrayal... funny you should mention that..."

"Why?"

"Nothing..."

"Kikyou, if this is about your family... I'm willing to listen if you're willing to talk."

"Akira, only if we're alone. Let's go to the roof."

Kikyou leapt out of bed at the chance to get this lie, this deep sin off her chest. She grabbed Akira's hand and ran quietly to the stairs. It was a little chilly out and all she had on was a small white bathrobe.

"Akira. I killed my family."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Akira, I killed them. I slit their throats with my own hands. I've never been more serious in my life. I was so ashamed. I couldn't bear the chi in my house. I had to get out of there. I remember running away..."

++[Flashback]++

Kikyou stood in a black cape that covered her body, she decided to kill her father first. She hated him with such a deep passion that she couldn't even bear to think that he created her. She took a knife from the kitchen. The same knife she used to use to cut her own body. She had fallen into depression, so deeply that it was hard for her to live without crying of hurting someone. Her arms were her trophy, they were covered in straight thin scars, some crossed but all cutting deeply into her skin. And a small scar on her wrist, she had slit it in the deepest fall of her moods and nearly died. Kikyou had been researching the fastest way to die. She knew what to do, the only thing she regretted was her brother. She loved her brother so much, but Kikyou couldn't live this lie with her brother. She crept into her parents room, her father was drunk again, as usual.

Her shadow slid over her fathers wide figure. She slowly cut deep into the side of his neck. His eyes didn't open, she suspected he was already succumbed to alcohol poisoning. Her mother was next, a lazy woman in her 40's, she loathed her mother almost as much as her father. Though her mother never hit her, she was always yelling. It was Kikyou’s brothers job to care for her. Her brother hugged her all the time, he made her happy. Her brother Sesshoumaru had saved her from death. When Kikyou had tried to slit her wrist Sesshoumaru rushed her to the hospital. They were able to send her home 2 days later. Her brother, only one year older. He was so kind to her, but in more ways than one. Kikyou had almost lost her virginity to her brother. She would kiss him all the time, they were always taking showers together. Sesshoumaru had taught her everything about sex and life and death. She loved him and was crying when she tried to slit his throat. She didn't remember doing anything to him. She even wrote a note to her family apologizing, yet not admitting it was her. She told them everything in that note.

The night when she killed her family she took a shower to wash off the blood and realized the police were whizzing down the street towards her house. She had just enough time to escape with the bare essentials. Her shoes and a warm jacket. She also took a picture of her brother to remember him and pray that he forgive her.

++[End Flashback]++

"You see Akira, I miss him. I guess Inuyasha is most like my brother. I loved my brother, really loved him. I just can't live any longer knowing I killed him."

"Kikyou, don't do this..."
Kikyou ran to the of of the building.

"This building isn't high enough. I guess I stay for tonight."

"Kikyou..."

Akira came closer, hugging Kikyou. Akira was too only wearing a bathrobe. They had showered that night and their wet hair started to sway a bit in the cold nights air. Kikyou hugged her back, realizing that she would be leaving everything behind. Akira had a story of her own too. Akira was betrothed to marry a wretch of a man from a wealthy family. Akira had run away on their wedding night, a sin and disgrace to her family she couldn't be seen by them again. Kikyou opened her senses to her now. Akira was like a sister to her. And while Akira was ten years older than Kikyou, it seemed like they took care of each other as equals. Kikyou noticed a shadowy figure by the edge of the building.

"Hey! Who are you?"

Kikyou yelled in surprise and fear, the silhouette of this person was clearly male. Kikyou thought he might be a robber or murderer. Maybe a rapist.

"I said, who are you?!"

Kikyou was frantic, Akira held tighter to Kikyou, afraid to look. The figure moved slowly towards them, a throaty growl echoed back at them.

"Don't come any closer!"

The man stepped into the light coming from the street lamps. It was Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha... did you... did you hear all that?"

Inuyasha nodded his head, smiling.

"Now I know."

Akira pulled away from Kikyou and flung herself at the feet of Inuyasha-sama. Inuyasha looked down at her with a look of confusion, and unamusement.

"My lord, please. Spare her! Don't tell anyone! I don't know what I'd do if she went to jail. Don't you understand? If you give her away, she'll... she'll die! They'll hill her!! Please!!!"

Akira was crying at his feet not lifting her head, ashamed to be like this in front of her boss. Kikyou looked down at the woman who had taken her in.

"Akira..." Kikyou whispered.

"Don't worry. I'm wont say a word. I don't want you to go either... I..."

Inuyasha stepped around Akira who had raised her head in shock, waiting for Inuyasha to finish.

"I love you Kikyou."

Kikyou stood still Inuyasha’s eyes were bright brown now. He had so much joy in telling her his feelings about her. 'Akira was right' she thought. 'I can't do this. He's using me.' Kikyou gave a short bow at him and then went back to bed. Laying awake by the window, the moon making shadows on her. Lighting the room in small areas, just enough to reassure her nobody was there.


~*~*~*~*~


A fun day in the club the next morning. Kikyou's theme today was tiger. She had a headband with cat ears on it. An orange bikini with black stripes. She did a small routine, thanking the gods that Inuyasha wasn't there. He actually was there but sat in the back of the bar talking with Akira and the other barmaids. He glanced at Kikyou a lot when she performed. Kikyou flung her head up and said a short growling roar now and then. A satisfying sound to Inuyasha. When Kikyou had finished she walked over to the bar and sat down.

"Well..." she said, "was that 'perfect' enough for you?"

"Better..."

Inuyasha smiled up at her, a lof pof pure pleasure in his eyes. Kikyou couldn't held but look down at his pants, and a tell tale bulge there told her it was more than entertaining for him. The phone rang, Kikyou hung her head.

"Probably some pranksters."

Kikyou waited for a response or a nod from Akira who answered the phone. Akira’s face grew quite still and she silently handed the phone to Kikyou. Kikyou made a gesture to Akira, asking who it was. Akira didn’t move just stared.

"He... hello?"

"Kikyou, my love. It's so good to hear your voice again..."

There was a man on the other side of this phone. He had a bit of trouble making out his words.

"Who... who is this?"

"Kikyou, it's me... Sesshoumaru..."

Kikyou gasped her eyes wide. She nearly dropped the phone, but held it tighter as if the phone was really him.

"Where are you?"

"I'm at home. Come and see me Kikyou, I was worried about you. I thought you had been killed like mum and dad. I was so scared..."

"Sessh..."

"Kikyou, just come home."

Kikyou nodded her head as if Sesshoumaru could really see her.

"I will... tonight..
Ki
Kikyou hung up the phone slowly not wanting to stop talking to Sessh. She thought she had killed him. She was so sure he was gone. Kikyou cried and ran into Akira’s arms.

"Oh, Akira I thought he was dead!"

"Kikyou... are you going to see him?"

"Yes, I'm going right now."

Kikyou went backstage quickly to get dressed. She slid on a pair of jeans and a tank top over her outfit. She pulled the kitsune ears from her head. She didn't bother with anything else. Sesshoumaru was alive. She was going to see him soon. She ran out to the door. A hand reached out and stopped her. Her eyes followed the hand up and arm to Inuyasha’s worried face.

"Kikyou... who..."

"My brother..."

"I see..."

Kikyou patted his hand and then left. Inuyasha’s arm fell to his side. He watched her go. Kikyou ran so fast back to her house. It was nearly half a mile but she didn't care. She had to see him, the one she truly loved. It was strange that she loved her brother, but somehow it didn't matter. He didn't act like her brother. He acted like a barrier between her and her parents. She was so grateful to him for saving her life. She just wanted to be with him again. Thoughts rushed through her head, 'Does he know I was the one?' 'How did he find me?' 'Why did he stay?' 'Didn't I hurt him too?' Kikyou reached the door which was no obstacle for her. Sesshoumaru was waiting for her on the other side. She turned the knob all in slow motion. He stood there, arms open waiting for her. She rushed into his arms and held him tightly.

"Sesshoumaru, I thought you... I swore I..."

"Kikyou..."

Tears ran like waterfalls from their faces.

No questions now.
Just love together.
Just pain falling into deep lakes.
Behind closed doors.
Locked behind emotions.

~*~*~*~*~


YAY first chapter

SEEING THE BROTHER SHE LOVES AND MISSED, INUYASHAS KISSES, AND KIKYOUS DANCE

NEXT: PRELUDE