So Complicated

I’m so scared that the way I feel
Is written all over my face
When you walk into the room I wanna find a hiding place

Shi’shi’o watched Inuyasha walk into the classroom and she sunk into her chair. He walked over to a girl at the other side of the room, she snorted, her lime green, cat like, eyes staring daggers at the prep. I wish I could get a hold on her!
“Class. We will be doing a project and you need to chose a partner that you will be able to get and talk to easily, for the next two weeks.” The sound of her 11th grade history teacher, Ms. Claypool’s, voice brought Shi’shi’o out of her seething thoughts. A partner? Her eyes fell on Inuyasha again. “Please pick your partner now.” The class scrabbled to get to the person they wanted, Shi’shi’o made her way to Inuyasha.
“Hey, I-chan?” Inuyasha turned his beautiful eyes, much like hers accept for they were violet, toward her, smiling softly. “You wanna be my partner?” He opened his mouth to say something, when the prep, Shara, jumped in.
“No he wouldn’t! He’s gonna be my partner, right I-chan?” Shi’shi’o growled low, her eyes flashing with anger.
“Don’t call him that. Only I’m allowed to call him that.” Her voice was like honey sweet acid.
“Oh, and like, why is that?” Shi’shi’o turned from Inuyasha, feeling as if she was being torn in two.
“I have earned the right. A right in which you could never come close to earning.” Was all she said as she walked to the far corner of the room, trying hard to hide the tears that were threatening to fall.
Inuyasha stared at the girl hanging off his arm, telling her friends that she had to be the luckiest girl in the whole school because she believed thaey wey were dating.
“Get off me.”
“Wha?!” Inuyasha glared at her, making it clear that he wanted nothing to do with her, than ran over to his life-friend. Enfolding her in a tight hug.


We used to laugh, we used to hug
The way that old friends do
But now a smile and a touch of your hand
Just make me unglued
It’s such a contradiction, do I lie or tell the truth
Is it fact or fiction the way I feel for you


She stiffened slightly, a tremor of pleasure running up her spine. She looked up and smiled at him; he smiled back and she felt as if she would melt.
“The place to be your partner has not been passed to anyone else, has it?” Shi’shi’o shook her head than looked over his shoulder at Shara, who appeared to be staring at her with anger, not that Shi’shi’o cared, but she thought he was with her. Seeming to know what she was silently asking, Inuyasha said. “I didn’t like the way she was treating you. Besides I never said I’d be her boyfriend much less her partner.” Shi’shi’o giggled at the funny face he had made.
“Have you got your partner? Good, now take a sit.” Inuyasha and Shi’shi’o toke a sit in the back of the room, as far from Shara as possible. They pushed their chairs together and Inuyasha linked his hwithwith hers, making her blush slightly. Do I love him? Is that why I feel so…so… flustered when he looks at me, touches me, smiles at me? She stole a look at him, he was look at the teacher as she spoke, but Shi’shi’o couldn’t make herself listen to what she was saying, too absorbed in her own thoughts as she was. Is that why I got so mad when Shara clung to him and called him ‘I-chan’? I wish I knew! This is so complicated.
“Come on S-chan.” Inuyasha’s soft husky voice cut through her thoughts like nothing else could.
“Huh? Oh… yeah.” She withdrew her hand from his so they could shove the chairs back, than Inuyasha toke her hand again.
“Shall we go to your house or mine?”
“I don’t care.”
“Well you are the one with all the history books.”
“Ok than, let’s go to mine.” He nodded his head and led her out the door, to the parking lot, and to her red ‘Dodge Ram: Heavy Duty’ truck. Inuyasha had never bothered to get him a vehicle because Shi’shi’o would always insist on taking him to the places he wanted to go or let him drive her truck.
The drive home had been in companionable silence, leaving Shi’shi’o time to think on her growing feelings for Inuyasha.


It’s so complicated
I’m so frustrated
I wanna hold you close, wanna push you away
I wanna make you go
I wanna make you stay
Should I say it
Should I tell you how I feel
Oh I want you to know
But than again I don’t
It’s so complicated


Shi’shi’o unlocked the door to her house. “Mom! I’m home!” When there was no answer, she wondered into the kitchen and plucked the note off the refrigerator.

Dear Shi’shi’o,
I went to the store and I probably won’t be back
till after midnight. I plan on going and doing a few
more things while I’m out. There is pizza in the freezer
and I already pulled out a pat by your bed for Inuyasha.
Sweet dreams to the both of you, Dear. Love you both.

Love always,
Mom.

Shi’shi’o had to smile at the last sentence; Inuyasha had slept over so many times that her mother had already got him a bed out. She was surprised, though, that her mother had put it in her bedroom, by her bed. She shook her head and went back to him; he was lounged back on the couch.
“I guess there is no need to tell you to make yourself at home, is there?” They chuckled; it was one of their favorite games, to tease each other over stupid things.
“Nope. I mean this place is my home. I’m here more than at my house.” She shook her head, smiling brightly, and sunk down by him. “Were is Mom?”
“She went to the store and is going to do some other things. She said she’d probably be home around midnight. There is a pizza in the freezer for our dinner and she has a bed for you already made in my room. She says sweet dreams and love you.” Inuyasha smiled wickedly.
“Home alone, are we?”
“Don’t even think it! You know what happen last time we did that and she just now let us alone again. How long had that been? Almost a year ago!” Last time they had thrown a party and couldn’t get thing cleaned up in time, before her mother found out. She had never heard the end of it.
“Who said we had to invite anyone else.”
“What kinda party would that be?”
“A quite one. You could cook the pizza; I could run down to Block Buster and get a few movies. We could sit here, not worry about school work and just watch movies until your mom gets home.”
“Good thing I have a TV, DVD, and VCR in my bedroom.” She said thoughtfully, considering it. “Ok…call me before you chose anything, though.” She stood up and walked him to the door; he leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Will do.” He turned to leave. She placed her long, slime, yet strong, fingers on her cheek, blushing, feeling very much like a wife seeing her husband out the door.
“Hey, call my cell so I can leave to home phone open for in case Mom calls, K?” Inuyasha nodded and slipped into the truck. Good thing I made him a set of keys. She shut the door and went to the kitchen; getting the pizza ready to cook, thinking about how good it felt just now, to e the wife of Inuyasha. She smiled dreamly.
20 minutes after she had placed the pizza in the hot oven, the low sound of ‘walk like an Egyptian’ from her cell reached her sensitive ears. Shi’shi’o unclipped it from her hip-clip, hitting the ‘receive’ button.
“Hello?”
“Hello, angle.”
“What do you have, I-chan?”
“I have… ‘Forever and a Day’… ‘Ninja Scroll’… and ‘Tomorrow and Yesterday’. Any of those sound good to you?”
“Yes, they all sound good to me. You coming home soon?”
“Yeah, I was just on my…” There was a sudden silence on the other side and it frightened her.
“I-chan?” Shi’shi’o could hear the faint sound of someone telling someone else off. “I-chan!?” Inuyasha must have removed to phone from his ear.
“Get away from me, Bitch! I don’t want you around me, got it?!” Shi’shi’o found herself shaking from the anger she heard in Inuyasha’s voice as he placed the phone back to his ear. “S-chan?”
“Yes?”
“I’m coming home now. Make sure you leave enough room on the bed for me.”
“Huh?” She heard a soft ‘click’; she pushed the ‘end’ button, totally and completely, confused.
Shortly after he had hung up, her cell went off again. Shi’shi’o picked it up off the bed, where she had dropped it, and turned it on.
“Hello?”
“Sorry about that, S-chan. Shara had caught me and was bothering me about not picking her as my partner. Yelling at me for not dating her.” She heard him give a low growl, which made her smile.
“So you lead her to believe that you were sleeping with me?” She teased.
“I’m so sorry. I had not meant to say that; it just… came out. But you should have seen her face when I said it though.” He burst out laughing, which sent shivers from her ear to collect low in her stomach.
“I wish I could have.”
“I’ll be there in a bit, bye.”
“Bye” She hung up, the timer going off, telling her that the pizza was done.


Just when I think I’m under control
I think I finally got a grip
Another friend tells me that
My name is always on your lips
They say I’m more than just a friend
They say I must be blind
Well I admit that I’ve seen you watch me
From the corner of your eye

he nhe next day at school started out like hell. She was thankful when the bell told them it was time for lunch. Last night she had been able to not shiver and almost purr in pleasure when he touched her or smiled at her or anything like that. Maybe I have all this weird emotions under control, in check.
“Shi’shi’o! Wait up!” Shi’shi’o turned and smiled as Cleo, her and Inuyasha’s good friend since the 8th grade, came running up to her.
“Mind if… I spend lunch with you?” She asked, panting.
“Of course. You can spend lunch with me anytime.”
“Good, I just didn’t want to get in the way of you and Inuyasha.”
“What do you mean?” A little surprised that her friend would say something like that, her and Inuyasha was not a couple or anything.
“Let’s get some food first.” Shi’shi’o nodded; they went through the line and found a corner, which was not acquired. Cleo said nothing at first but just toke a few bites of her meal; Shi’shi’o was becoming antsy. She wanted to know what her friend had been getting at earlier.
“What were you talking abourlierlier?” Finally getting fed up with waiting.
“You must be blind if you have to ask.” Cleo looked at her weird. “You are dating aren’t you?” Shi’shi’o pocked at her food, blushing, and shook her head.
“We have never dated.”
“I know you are more than friends.” She paused and seemed to consider something. “Are you lovers than?” Shi’shi’o’s eyes widened and she stared a Cleo.
“No. I have never evne had sex. What do you mean that we are mare than friends?”
“Man! You must really be blind! He is always talking about you! How you look; how you act; how you smell like freedom and sweetness; how it’s so cute how you do little things with such care. He talks about how you are so good with kids; how you never cover your natural beauty with disgusting makeup. How you never throw yourself at guys like most girls here. He calls you a real woman, where as all the other girls here are just that: girls.” Shi’shi’o didn’t know what to say, she had seen him looking at her from the corner his eye, true, but she never thought anything of it. Dose he really see me as more than a friend? She found herself searching the lunchroom for him, only to find him with Shara, trying to get away from her. Anger flared up in her and she growled low, making Cleo follow her glare, sighing.
“I’ll be back, Cleo. I have a pest to get rid of.” Cleo nodded, continuing to eat.
It had not taken Shi’shi’o long to get to his side. She stepped close to him, slipping her arm around his.
“Is there a problem, I-chan?” Inuyasha looked down at her and smiled, relief obvious on his handsome face.
“Not any more.” Shi’shi’o grinned up at him.
“Come, I have a sit over there with Cleo.” She led him away from Shara and her yelling. Inuyasha sank in the sit by Shi’shi’o, picking bit and pieces out of her plate. She sighed, smacking his hand as he reached for her roll. He wined, rubbing his hand, and looked at her with puppy eyes. She giggled, slitting the roll in half, giving half to him. He gave a goofy grin and gobbled it down.
“You see what I have lived with most of my life?” She stated teasingly to Cleo, who laughed, as she jerked a thumb at Inuyasha.
“Oh, but S-chan, you know you love me.” He gave another puppy face.
“Yes, who could not love such cute puppy faces.” Shi’shi’o laughed.


Oh it’s so confusing I wish you’d just confess
But think of what I’d be losing
If your answer wasn’t yes


“I’m home, Mom!” Shi’shi’o called out as she slung her backpack to the side of the front door, out of the way.
“I’m in the bedroom, Dear.” She wondered into her mother’s room and found her mother sitting on her bed. She looked up, smiling, an all-knowing gleam in her eyes.
“What is it?” Shi’shi’o sunk onto the bed next to her mother.
“Mom, how do you know your in love?” Siena smiled at her daughter, laughing softly.
“Only you can truly know that. Just like only Inuyasha can know if he truly loves you.” Shi’shi’o’s eyes widen, staring at her mother, in shock.
“How did you know it was I-chan I was talking about?”
“I’m you mother. I have seen every look on your face, heard ever cry. I have seen you grow from child to young adult. I have seen how you acted different to Inuyasha with each passing year. Others might not be able to see the change for they do not know you like I do.” Shi’shi’o nodded and dropped back on the bed, spreading her arms a crossed it.
I wonder if he dose love me. But what if he don’t, I could lose so much. I wish he’d just confess!” Siena patted her daughter’s leg.
“I’m sure he will in time. Who knows he might being going through the same thing you are.” She stated, getting up and going to the kitchenfix fix super.
“Are we not to have Inuyasha for dinner?”
“No, I don’t think so.” Shi’shi’o got off the bed and went into her room, looking about. There were many pictures of Inuyasha and her on the wall and on her dresser, even on her vanity and desk. She sighed
“It’s so complicated! I’m so frustrated! I wanna hold you close, wanna push you away! I wanna make you go! I wanna make you stay! Should I say it? Should I tell you how I feel? Oh, I want you to know! But than again I don’t. It’s so complicated!” She sang to her favorite picture to Inuyasha, alone and laughing as she toke a sneak snap shoot of him, her voice sweet and full of emotions she was afraid to show. “Are you going through this too, I-chan? Like Mamma said.” She clung the frame to her chest and sank into her waterbed, falling asleep shortly after.
“Dear! Dinner!” Shi’shi’o jolted up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She stretched her cramp muscles, wondering into the dining room, her mother already placing their plates down. She dropped into her chair and picked at her food.
“This is really eating you, isn’t it?” Siena popped a chunk of meat into her mouth, chewing carefully, regarding Shi’shi’o with concerned eyes. Shi’shi’o only nodded slightly, still pocking at her food.
“Why don’t you just tell him. You know he would never turn you completely away. He would still be your close friend.”
“I want to tell him, but than again I don’t. What if it dose change? I mean confessing something like that, you couldn’t possible go back to how you were. He would probably watch what he doses or said after that. He probably wouldn’t be able to relax around me any more.” She sighed and dropped her fork, pushing away from the table, getting up.
“I’m not hungry, I’ll be in my room.” Shi’shi’o waked around the table, planted a kiss on her mother’s cheek.
Once she got to her room she, again, allowed her gaze to swipe the pictures. She dropped into her bed, fighting for sleep with vengeance.


I hate it ‘cause I’ve waited
So long for someone like you
Should I say it
Should I tell you how I feel
Oh I want you to know
But than again I don’t
It’s so complicated


Friday, after school she and Inuyasha went to her house to find, once again, that her mother was gone.
“She went to some conference thing. She told me about it but I forgot that she would leave today. She won’t be back till Monday.” Shi’shi’o stated as she came out of the kitchen. Inuyasha looked up from his place on the arm of the couch. She shook her head. I wish I could tell him that I love him but I’m so sacred as to what will happen. And there is the small problem about being a hanyou.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Inuyasha was over to her, his arms wrapped around her, rubbing his hand over her back. For a spit second she stood there unmoving, then she throw her arms around him, clinging to him as if her whole being, her very life, depended on him. I have to tell him and to hell with the consequences! She pulled away from him, looking deep into Inuyasha’s eyes.
“I think it is pass time I told you what I really am.” He raised a brow. Shi’shi’o seemed to shift, her figure filling out fully, her onyx hair graying than turning silver her bangs turning red-orange. Her right eye turning a pure gold color. A long, bushy, silver, red-orange tipped, tail draped to the floor, her human ears forming up to form matching fox ears. Her eyes filled with fear as Inuyasha’s own eyes widened in shock. Is he going to shun me? Or is he going to accept me? He stepped closer and brushed his fingers over her cheek, tracing the three claw-scares that followed along her jaw line. He leaned down, wrapped his arms around her waist, crushed her to him and pressed a shearing kiss to her lips. When he, finally, drew away for breath she stared into a pair of golden eyes. Shi’shi’o pulled away from him, just enough to see him. Silver hair, now, framed his handsome face and a pair of cute, silvery-white, doggie-ears twitched atop his head.
“You’re a hanyou too? Wow! I thought I was the only one.” Inuyasha smiled and nodded.
“I thought I was the only one.” She found herself giggling with relief. The one guy she loved was a hanyou, like her. Shi’shi’o stood on tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his lips, he wasted no time in deepening it. Inuyasha left her breathless and when he was done he did it again.
“I guess it was not as complicated as I thought to tell you that ve yve you.” She said as they parted for breath.
“I love you too.” She smiled up into his smiling face. She kissed him with all the passion and love she felt for him, leaving them both dizzy.


It’s not so complicated
There is no need for frustration
I’m gonna hold you close, not gonna push you away
I don’t want you to go
I want you to stay
It was so easy to say it
I told you how I feel
Oh I want to show it
I want you to know it and not doubt it
It’s not so complicated