Side Quest

Side Quest
By Nikki Shinomori
Inuyasha/FF Tactics crossover….sorta
Rated: R- language, mild violence and heavy limes(maybe lemons ^.^)
Sesshoumaru and Naraku
Romance/Humor/AU Nothing to do with the series….very, and let me stress that word, OOC, really dry humor and simply a waste of everyone’s time really.
AN: I wrote this story because I had been thinking of a lot of mental pictures of one of my favorite bad guy/bad guy pairings and playing a lot of FF Tactics at the same time. Even though Sesshoumaru isn’t really a bad guy, he still looks hot with Naraku. So….this is what happens. Oh, and I made Naraku out to be the uke because I think its funnier that way. And! I made up my own ages for each person. Yeah…that’s about it. <^_^>
Enjoy.

Main Characters-
For your benefit so you’re not completely lost.

Profiles - …sorta
Name-The Great Naraku /was Prince Onigumo
Status/Class- Evil/Wizard
Age- 20
He travels killing all those who do not kiss his ring finger. Why? Because he can! …Is horribly addicted to sex.
Name-Lord Sesshoumaru
Status- Prince of ….*sucks on teeth* Umm, tch…yeah *shrugs*
Sesshomaru: That’s not funny.
Nikki: Well I don’t know what to give you.
Sesshoumaru: How about…Limberry. (FFT)
Nikki: Why?
Sesshou: Because that’s the name of the dot your standing on right now.
Nikki: Hey get out of my room! Quit, that’s my Pocky! And my plushie of you!
Sesshou: Wait, how did I get in here? *chewing on his fluffier version*
Nikki: How DID you get in here?
Both: *shrug*
Naraku: Hey what’s this about being aded ted to sex?
Nikki: Well aren’t you---hey how did you get here?
Naraku: *shrug* Although I guess you hit the nail on the whole S&M sex with Kohaku thing.
Nikki: …err… I never mentioned that.
Naraku: Oh…I see *fidgets* Hey I want some Pocky.
Sesshou: Well since I’m here…can I help you write your story since I am in it.
Naraku: Oh me too me too!
Nikki: Only if you sit like a puppies beside me and don’t question me.
Both: Kay. <^_^>
~ Sesshou’s Revised Profile ~
Name-Lord Sesshoumaru
Status- Prince of Limberry/ Dark Knight
Age- unknown (looks 21)
Is trying to gain access his little brother’s land so he can have access to the ‘well’ that will take him to the Future. Reasons unknown.
Name-Lord Inuyasha
Status- Prince of Well/ Summoner
Age- unknown (looks 17)
Is Sesshou’s annoying little stuck up brother who rules over the magical realm ‘Well’. In the magical realm of Well, well, there is a well. A magical well.
Name-Sir Miroku
Status- Personal guard of Inuyasha/ Divine Monk
Age- 19
Is a hard-nosed Divine Monk who protects Duke Inuyasha from Sesshou.


:: Chapter One ::

Without hesitation Naraku slipped his robes off and walked through the gentle stream naked as the day he was born; or at least as naked as Onigumo was. He shuddered slightly in disgust at the mental image of a naked Onigumo. The sun was hidden behind a cloak of dark clouds and a slight breeze ruffled his thick mess of long black hair. He squinted out into the dark mass of trees on the opposite side of the stream. He was there. Watching. Naraku could feel him.
“Are you going to watch me bathe or do you plan on joining me?” Naraku asked as he sat down on a large watered smooth stone. Not sounding particuarly interested. His long fingers sliced the surface of the water. A flash of silver darted past Naraku’s feet but it froze and sank to the bottom dead a moment later. Naraku smiled. “Fish?” He queried with an amused curve to his lips.
The man who had been standing in the shade of the forest stepped into a splotch of light. He had long silky white hair that ran almost the entire length of him. His eyes were golden with red eye-shadow and his skin a milky pale. Judging from his elaborate outfit, he guessed he hailed from a wealthy family. Naraku glanced at him only briefly then returned his attention to cleaning the blood of his arms and legs. Hardly any of the blood was of his own. They should’ve just listened. Stupid humans. He noted the tall demon wasn’t making any moves to come towards him so in a huff, he stood up and walked slowly, deliberately towards the sexy stranger. He smirked when he saw the dog demons golden eyes flick down for just a brief second. Naraku stopped about a foot in front of the man and crossed his arms, not a bit ashamed of his exposed sex.
you you the one they call Wizard Naraku?” The man had a very calm and collected voice, but it was deep and highly alluring. Naraku admitted that it was him and asked what of it. “I’ve come to ask for your assistance.” He said flatly not trying to impress.
“Oh?” Naraku chimed not looking really surprised, more like delighted by the idea.
“Rumors of your power is far spread Lord Naraku. Do you know who I am?”
“…Well,” He drawled out, eyeing the man thoroughly. “No, can’t say I do.”
He did not look amused. “My name is Sesshoumaru, Lord Sesshoumaru.”
“Ohhh.” Naraku said mocking as if that name alone was supposed to mean something. He held his hand to the tall demon’s face. Sesshoumaru glanced at the long slender fingers with purple paint on the long pointed nails.
“Well?” Naraku insisted.
“Well what?” Sesshou asked confused with this gesture.
“Kiss my ring fingern’t n’t you have any respect?”
Sesshoumaru grimaced but kissed the finger regardless of his distaste for such a show of respect.
“You’re not a king.” Sesshoumaru added afterwards.
“So what? I will be soon, plus liked being kissed there, is that a crime?”
“Well…I guess not but---”
“Now tell me why I should help you.”
“Because I need your assistance in defeating my younger brother, the Dukethe the Well.”
“Duke of the Well?”
“Yes, he rules over the palace guarding the Bone Eater’s Well. A well that holds a portal to the Mortal Realm of the Future.”
“Ah yes, I’ve heard of this well. In the realm of Well I believe.” Sesshou nodded in conformation. “Why do you want to go to the Mortal Future realm?”
“…um, well its kinda a secret.” The slightest blush crept to Sesshoumaru’s cheeks and he averted his gaze. “Actually that’s another reason I wanted to see you…the thing I need is a gift of sorts to show you how much I want to claim you as my own.” Naraku’s pretty painted eyes widened at this and he smiled coyly, his own blush showing across his pale complexion.
“Well I won’t help you if you don’t tell me what it is.” He lifted a shoulder. “And what makes you think I want you to claim me?”
“Fine. Come here.” Naraku bent forward and Sesshou whispered in his ear. “I need to go there to acquire some new Strawberry Flavored lube. I ran out from the last time I snuck there. And I shall use that to help me claim you in the best possible way.”
“Huh? You use strawberries as lube?” Naraku asked tilting his head. He squeaked when his still very naked body was pulled into a tight embrace by a grinning Sesshou. The demon Knight bent close to his face and teased him with a kiss to the lips but instead dipped it into the bare flesh of his throat. Naraku purred lightly as Sesshou raked his long clawed fingers through his lush black hair and continued his lusty assault on his neck, suckling on the throbbing vain. He let go as he felt Naraku’s exposed member begin to harden against his thigh.
“Why’d you stop.” The demon wizard whined.
“We can go further once I claim my treasure.” He felt kinda bad when Naraku started pouting so he leaned in again and pd a d a promising kiss to his full pale pouty lips. “So will you help me. I will make it very much worth it, love.” Naraku blushed at being called love by someone so handsome and nearly swooned like some love-sick girl. He coughed and nodded a response.
“Yeah of course, but what is Strary Fry Flavored lube. A human thing?”
“Yeah, well I guess so. But it’s better to show than to tell.”
“Well I need to put some clothes on then we can travel to your brothers castle.”
“I’d not mind if you traveled as you are, truthfully.”
“Well being naked is good and all, but it provides pretty shitty defense.”
And they began their perilous journey to the east. Stopping on occasion to do side quests and killed random people who didn’t kiss Naraku’s ring finger. They also raped a few bards here and there, pillaged a few Trade Towns, beat a couple bosses that appeared out of nowhere and had nothing to do with anything.
“This is turning out to be oddly like an RPG.” Sesshou sighed.
“What’s an RPG?”
“A role---oh never mind. Hey, look another dot on the map!”
“Hey yeah, it’s Well Castle! We’re finally here! And since we’re all leveled up and junk we should be able to break your brother’s defenses like nothing.”
“Don’t underestimate him. He has a powerful Divine Monk on his side plus he’s a summoner. And last I heard, he’s acquired the ultimate summon.”
“Zodiac!? Really?”
“Well um, no. I was talking about the other ultimate summon. Shippo.”
“Wow…………I never heard of it but, wow.”

:: Chapter Two ::

And they traveled onward to the castle gates where they were *surprise* attacked by a brigade of cute guy knights, sexy guy monks, and funny looking girl black mages. They beat them all quick so nobody died. Sesshou even got one of the knights home-phone numbers.
This battle is complete.
20, 923 gil
Angel Ring
Feather Boots

….

~ Inside of Well Castle ~

“How did you get past my defenses?” Inuyasha sputtered as he stood up and quickly pulled up his pants. “How can you possibly be that strong?”
Miroku crawled out from under the large oak tactic planning table and wiped the side of his mouth.
“So it’s true! You are the ones who defeated Altima.” Miroku ancednced brushing off his knees. He took his place beside Inuyasha and glared at the other two.
“Um, no that would have been us…” Ramza defended poking his head into the large stone window then disappearing again.
“….?” Miroku shrugged. “Okay then we place you under arrest for breaking an entering of Well Castle and no doubt attempted theft of the well.”
“Yeah. It doesn’t matter however, because this is where you die.” Inuyasha said drawing his sword.
“But brother….” Sesshou protested while eyeing the room for the door which would lead to the well.
They all start bobbing and walking in place. Scary boss music plays in the background. Three knights and two demons appear out of nowhere on Inuyasha’s side.
Conditions for winning:
Defeat Inuyasha and Miroku

Naraku used his dark wizard powers to pummel Miroku and Inuyasha with, “Omega Flare Chaos Meteor Comet Blast!!!!!” Everyone stops and stares at the evilly grinning wizard.
“The hell was that? You can’t just make up attacks!” Miroku managed past a mouthful of blood and hanging desperately to Inuyasha bloody arm for support. They both had rerraise and since one of their knights survived the blast they revived.
“I can so, it’s a right given to the ultimate bad guys.” Naraku pouin din defense.
“Grr,” Inuyasha fought to his feet and was drenched in a X-potion by his poor dying knight who luckily had the throw item ability.
“DIE EVIL-DOERS” Inuyasha screamed at the top of his lungs, flinging his arms out in front of him and calling forth all his magic into his palms. “I summon from the darkest forest, revenge your fallen king! Shippo!” The whole battle field seemed to warp and twitch as a tornado of leaves and cherry-blossoms swirled in the center. As it faded a small fox demon appeared and cried out, “FOX FIRE!” And Naraku and Sesshoumaru were both engulfed in a transparent flurry of white hot fire and burned horribly, cutting there hit points to 1.
“That’s cheating!” Sesshou said as he crawled over to Naraku’s side.
“And that little Omega whatever wasn’t!? You hypocrite!” Miroku said as he drank down his forth X-potion.
“Hey! Quit drinking all of those potions, you’re totally canceling out all of our attacks!” Naraku yelled angrily as he and Sesshou with great haste drank the remaining supply of the Elixirs.
“You’re one to talk!” Counted Inuyasha, who was fully cured as were Miroku and there men.
“Grr, what was the point of all of that! We’re back at point A!” Miroku huffed, quite annoyed by all of this and wanting to get back on his knees under the table.
“This is getting old, just let us use the damn well!”
“No! This is a matter of pride!” Retorted an irked Duke of Well.
“Well,” Naraku said considering his magic list, “I didn’t want to reduce myself to such low-handed battle tactics, but you leave me no choice, BLIND!”
Inuyasha, Miroku and all of their men were consumed by thick peppery clouds of black smoke and temporarily blinded for the moment. Grabbing Naraku’s hand with his own tightly, the laughing Lord of Limberry darted for the door that lead to the back chambers, that lead to the underground library, that lea a d a disco roller-ball battle arena, which finally took them back up towards a hidden and secluded garden. In the center of the beautiful garden was a well surrounded by bones which were gnarled and tangled in the lush plant life. Sesshou and Naraku breathing heavily from their mad dash through the Well Castle, sighed in relief. Stepping up to the ancient stone thing, Naraku looked down into the inky blackness of the interior.
“This is a portal? Are you sure…we have to do this?” Naraku said as he peered nervously into the dark depths of the wide mouthed well.
“Yes of course I’m sure, and yes we *have* to! I didn’t come all this why so you could puss out on me now.”
With great unflinching confidence, the silver haired Knight stepped up onto the rim of the well and stood up, ready to jump down.
“Come on.” He urged, his hand outstretched to help the still nervous wizard up.
Gulping he grabbed the strong hand and was hoisted up.
“Okay, now on the count of three…one…two…”
“AHH WAIT!” Naraku stammered as he was pushed forward and fell into the dark void listening to a very amused Sesshoumaru laughing all the while.
“Wait for me!” Sesshou called as he jumped in after his ‘evil’ companion.

:: Chapter Three ::

“Ow,” Naraku whined, rubbing his sore ass from a rough and rather rude landing to the hard ground. While Sesshou’s was graceful and was on his feet when he appeared a few moments after Naraku.
“Finally.” Sesshou breathed in happily, glad to be back. “Lets go have some fun.” He said picking Naraku and pulling him into a victory kiss. It was long and wet, with lots of needed fondling. Reluctantly Sesshou pulled away from the too talented hands of Wizard Naraku and looked about.
“Okay,” He said wiping the drool from his chin, “I think we’re in my friend Nikki’s well in Florida. If so, we’re in luck. She’ll be happy to get us hooked up with lots’a good shit.”
He jumped and shot right out of the well and Naraku followed after him. They were in a large field surrounded by orangarine trees. (AN: a crossbreed of oranges and tangerines, really good) Sesshou ran for the small picturesque house in the distance.
“NIKKI!” He called out as he approached the glass paneled door and nearly charged right through it. Naraku was struggling to keep up and cursing quite loudly at being ignored and left behind.
“Come in, it’s unlocked.” Yelled a voice that was like an angels. (Sesshou: A little self absorbed there? Nikki: Shut up, you’re one to talk, quit primping in my mirror. Naraku: Yeah, you’re pretty little ass wiggling over there is distracting me, I’m trying to read these damnable fan-subbed Gravitation videos. Nikki: …! *sighs*….oh well..)
“Nikki? Great you’re home. It took us hell to get here.” Sesshou panted, smiling with relief as he walked into my room and sank onto my bed.
“Hey! Why’d you leave me!” A hurt and slightly irritated Naraku whined as he walked into the completely fangirled-out room. He stooped short when he saw his image on a large wallscroll hanging above Nikki’s bed right next to a pinup of Tidus and several smaller pictures including Orlando Bloom, Tom Cruise, and Johnny Depp.
“The hell?” Was all he got out before he was majorly glomped by the blonde hentai to the point of where he could no longer breath. “Is…..she ……..a ………demon!?” He gasped as Nikki squealed and totally went all psycho fangirly on him. Sesshoumaru laughed at Naraku’s confusion.
“No, just a good friend of mine who has an incredible weak spot for bishies like ourselves.” Sesshou said yawning and flipping on the T.V. “What’s in the PS2?”
“FF Tactics.” Nikki answered, releasing Naraku and resuming her place at the computer.
“Can I play?” Sesshou asked, but already doing so.
“Why is my face on that wall tapestry?” Naraku asked, overwhelmed and confused, while rubbing his now sore waist.
“Its not a tapestry, it’s a wallscroll, and its there because I’m obsessed with your sexy ass second only to your new lover over there.”
Blushing. “Hey, how did you know that!?”
“I know everything.” She replied with a creepy grin and wiggling her fingers infront of her face for no apparent reason.
“How is that?” He asked skeptically. “I’m an evil genius and not even I know everything.”
“I’m a hentai fanfic writer. That makes me a god of sorts, and god knows all.”
“……?” Confused again.
“Don’t hurt yourself thinking to hard on it, love.” Sesshou finally put in, peeling his eyes away from a hidden item Nikki had found, ‘Mustadio’s Secret Gallery’ a book you find in Goug which contains very risqué pictures of himself and Cloud.
(AU: I made that up so don’t bother looking for it, duh )
Blushing again. “Whoa….” Naraku took his place beside Sesshou on her bed and stared open mouthed at the pretty naked, entangled, sweaty, and aroused blonde boys.
“Well I’ll just leave you two to it…” Nikki said blushing and plugging her nose which was now leaking blood from the myriad of dirty thoughts flooding her mind.
“Wait. That’s why we came here in the first place. Do you have any strawberry lube?” Sesshou asked hopefully.
“Er…no. I don’t have a need for the stuff personally.” She sinks to the ground and holds her knees to her face, turn to stone, and spin away into a corner where she’s bathed in a blue spotlight. Sad piano from Final Fantasy X plays in the background.
“I…don’t even…have a boyfriend!” She cries as the background around her shatters into glass.
“Not surprised.” Naraku says nodding. Nikki flies to her feet and charge at him like a quarterback. He screams and flies behind Sesshou.
“What’s that supposed to mean!” She demand stopping myself before she collided in Sesshou knowing she wouldn’t be able to get back up if she landed in his lap.
“Nothing…” He answered clutching to Sesshou’s shoulder’s.
“Well?” Sesshou insisted, ignoring the whole ordeal. He was getting very turned on by the super secret item, Mustadio’s Secret Gallery, and just wanted to fuck Naraku stupid already.
“Yeah, yeah,” Nikki said pulling on her red trench coat that pretty much killed her wallet after a trip to Hot Topic (AN: nod with me if you know ^.^). “I’ll go buy ya some. I’ll be back in a little bit.”
She leaves them alone in the house.
“A little bit…” Naraku pouted as he flopped backward on the bed, his legs slightly parted. Sesshou glanced over at him and saw that his chainmail shirt was pushed up and revealing the flat plane ofe ske skin there. He growled impatiently and his hands trailed up the demon wizard’s sides. Naraku was covered in goose flesh as the hands made there way up and back down again on his smooth sides.
“Damn…” Sesshou said under his breath, wanting desperately to fuck Naraku until the lithe demon forgot his own name. An idea struck him.
“Get undressed.” He said flatly getting up and walking out of the room.
“But I thought you wanted your lube!” Naraku called after him, but began to peel off his armor nevertheless.
“Just do it! I have an idea!”
Naraku, naked and cold from the air conditioner, found Sesshou rummaging through a tall white plastic box that had cold air blasting out of it.
“What are you doing?” He asked as he held his hands over his most valuable extremity. Not that he was modest by any means, just he was cold and didn’t want it completely going into hibernation.
“Getting strawberry lube. Gods know how long that feather head will take, she’s easier to distract than a chocobo and gysahl greens.”
“Huh? What’s a cho-ko-bow?” Asked Naraku, once again confused.
“….Nevermind. Just get your pretty little ass up on that counter and spread those legs before I fucking blow a vain here.”
“Alright, alright, don't go all psycho inu-baka on me .” Naraku obediently got up on Nikki’s marble kitchen countertop and spread his milky thighs wide and waited patiently.
“AH HA!” Sesshou exclaimed triumphantly as he held a red bottle above his head.
“What’s that?”
“Strawberry jam. But its now gonna act as rather delectable lube.” He said grinning and undoing the lid. He gathered some onto his fingertip’s after taking a quick taste. He stood between Naraku’s milky legs and spread a generous amount of the sticky goodness all over the hardening flesh of his love.
“Finally.” Naraku breathed tossing his head back as he was swallowed by Sesshou’s mouth. After a healthy amount of that and three fingers doing there job…Sesshou pinned Naraku down and fucked him mercilessly into the kitchen counter staining several random points of the mainly white room. Panting and very content after so long, they both crumbled to a sweaty, cum covered heap on the black marble floor.
Nikki walks into the door shivering and miserable from the freak coldness outside. Its March and Florida! The hell!?
“Ah!! You whores!! I supposed to watch that. Argh you suck. I got stuck in that goddamn traffic and had to get my friend to buy the fucking lube for me because I pussed out at the last moment which cost an extra 10 gil…I mean dollars. Argh! Damn it! I need a shower.” She storms away and slams the bathroom door behind her.
“What did she say?” Asked a sleepy Naraku snuggling into Sesshou’s chest.
“No idea…” Yawned Sesshou who was also half asleep. He kissed the top of Naraku’s head before they both passed out, still very naked and smelling like strawberries.
*black and red bubbly hearts*

~ owari ~