Maybe...

Just something that popped into my head. Kind of a response to another one shot posted recently, by the same title, by Fatal_fury. It was her first fanfic, and I suggest you guys take a glance (it inspired me enough!)
Ja ne!
~Sabichan~

**I POV**



She’s almost here. I can smell her.

I could pick that scent out of a million others.

I have to be honest. I’ve wished I could turn off my sensitive nose more often than not. It’s just that...well ever since I woke up...I can’t get enough of her scent.

It’s sad, I know. I’m addicted to it.

Addicted to the scent of a fifteen year old girl from the future...

But...But you have to understand...

It’s her fault really. If she had just stayed away from the well.

If she had never come back when I pushed her away.

If she had just given me the shards after she saw me with Kikyo...things
wouldn’t be this way.


But her heart, it’s bigger than any demon I’ve ever fought. She-she seems to love me weverevery fiber of her being, and gods help me, I can’t figure out why.

I’m a bastard, in more ways than one. I treat her like shit, always critical, always putting her down. She doesn’t deserve it, I know that very well.

I also know I don’t deserve her.

No... no I don’t.

But, sometimes, a lot of the time-

Okay, all of the time, I wish did.


I wish I could kiss her, even if only once. I wish I could hold her, and speak words of love, not just friendship. I want her to know how much she means to me, how I would give my life for her, how I would die for her...

But I can’t.

I can’t, because I’ve already made that promise to someone else.

You couldn’t begin to imagine how much I regret speaking those words.

Swearing to the woman I used to know as Kikyo, that I would go to hell with her, offering my soul freely. It kills me every time I dream about it, and to be honest, that’s a lot.


So to keep her from getting too attached, to push her away...I become the stupid, self-involved hanyou she hates, the one who forbids her from going home to where she belongs; the one who criticizes her for being so overly concerned about my wounds; the hanyou who pushes her to the edge of her sanity, eventually forcing her to sit me into oblivion.

And to be honest, I deserve it.

We argue a lot. About the jewel, about my intentions with Kikyo, and sometimes...even about what she will do after the jewel is completed and my promise is fulfilled.

That's the reason for our last argument, the reason she’s back here in her time.

She blew up at me, saying it was none of my business, that I shouldn’t even care seeing as how I won’t be around to find out.

That stung, it really did. What hurt more was that I finally realized just what it feels like to be on the other end, to be in Kagome’s shoes.

Now I know how much it hurts...


I think a lot.

I think about what things would be like if Kikyo had never been brought back to life. If she’d remained a memory of something I’d once had, someone I’d once loved.

I think about how I would’ve told Kagome how I really feel about her. That time, the time I fought the Thunder brothers...I thought she was dead.

You can’t imagine the pain I felt right then. It was like watching my mother die again. It was hell.

Just the thought that I had caused the death of another woman I loved, simply with my being alive....it was too much to bear.

When I saw her, surrounded by the blue flames of foxfire, I almost said it. I begged her not to leave me, I grabbed her hand. And the moment before the next words slipped out of my mouth...I realized she was alive.

Now, I never cease to wonder how life would be if I had just said what I’d wanted to say to her. If I’d told her exactly how I felt.


I wonder what would’ve happened if I told her then that I loved her...

...it was an accident really.

You have to understand that, first and foremost.

I had only just awoken from a fifty year sleep. And what’s the first thing I hear, but a voice, begging for help. The moment I awoke, her scent overtook my senses, and my anger from the betrayal fogged my mind. Even though I knew in my heart it wasn’t her, I called her Kikyo, taunted her, and eventually tried to kill her.

I never go a day without regretting my actions.

I’d wanted her from the start, personally witnessing the power and purity she held in her soul. I’d wanted to posses that so badly, even more than the fucking jewel, but my mind was still clouded from Kikyo’s betrayal. I was scared of what I was feeling, and I let that control me.

I can honestly say I was relieved when the old witch put these prayer beads on me. You see, without them, I would’ve destroyed the only thing I’ve ever really and truly loved.

I of course didn’t know at the time how much she’d come to mean to me. I only knew I didn’t want to be hurt anymore. Eliminating her seemed to be the only option. How wrong I was...

Kagome...

She’s become my life now. I continue to show myself as being obsessed with the Shikon no Tama...but to tell the truth...

I could care less about being full demon.

I don’t want that anymore.

Now...now all I want is for this girl to be happy...

I will not lie to you...

I hope, from the very bottom of my soul, that her happiness will include me.

If she were to ask...


If she were to ask me...


I would break the promise I made to Kikyo. I would forget the life I knew before her. If you could even call that a life.


Now, she has become my reason for living, for breathing, for fighting, and if the Gods so will it, my reason for dying.


She’s coming from school right now, from mixing and catching up with the loudmouth, nosy girls she always spends time with. And probably that baka of a suitor called Hojo.

She probably thinks I don’t know about him. But I’m one jealous fuck...I know everything about her here, about her life on this side of the well and the other.

She loves me.

She loves me....


It’s been three years....three years since she pulled the arrow from my heart.

Three years...


She cries at night, a lot. I don’t know if she thinks I can’t hear her. But I hear everything, from her tears to her soft moans when she has those arousing dreams. I learned long ago they were always about me...


Three years....

That night when she saw me pledge my life to Kikyo...I should have ended it, to save her from the pain I constantly put her through...but I know she would not have accepted it. She feels responsible for the shattering of the Jewel. And if she has to, she’ll spend her whole life finding the pieces to complete it. She would die for it.

She has also proved on countless occasions...that she would also die for me...

Three years....


Three years since she pulled the arrow from my heart....


I can smell her on the wind, coming closer and closer to the shrine. No one is home. We’ll be all alone when she gets here...

I wonder, searching my soul for the strength to decide.

Maybe...maybe it’s time I tell her what I wanted to say so long ago

Maybe it’s time I kiss her like I’ve always wanted, to hold her closer than just at arms length. To never let her go until the day I die.

Maybe...maybe it’s time I tell her what I’m really fighting for, who I’m really fighting for.

Maybe it’s time, after three years of loving her from afar...maybe it’s time I return the favor-maybe it’s time I pulled the arrow from her heart.

It’s been three years...


Maybe

Maybe it’s time.....

Thanks for reading Minna.