What's in a Name?

Whats in a Name?

Chapter one

Enter Our Heroes!


KAWOOOOOOSSSHHHHHHHHPP! THUND! Enters our hero's from the sky, with a graceful landing right in a soft warm pile of...

"SHIT!" Gabrielle yells as she spits shit (literally) from her mouth.

"Gabrielle," Xena says as she stands brushing off the shit Gabrielle flung on her when she did the belly flop in the Dung. "We don't have time for games."

"Why is it," Gabrielle starts to complain, yet again. "When ever we start a scene out with us flying through the air. The camera catches my landings on tape but only picks you up again After you're on your feet?" Gabriel asks as she scrapes inches of dung off her legs. "Ummm, Xena? Can you tell me."

Xena smiles and turns innocently around to answer her friend's question. "Because Gabrielle..." Xena jumps back, "Shit NOOOOOO!" Xena screams as her knees hit the ground and she lands weakly on her sword to prop herself up. "There are no cameras Gabrielle."

"What...What are you talking abou...?" Gabrielle then notices her surroundings; grabbing her head, she hits the ground on her knees also screaming. "Nooooooo. Whyyyyyyyy?"

After a minute or two of whinnying and moaning our hero's now sit back to back looking pissed however still beautiful Xena sits wind blowing through her long black hair. Sniffing the air on a sudden wind change Xena jumps to her feet quickly. "Umm, Gabrielle you really stink."

Gabrielle's hands drop along with her jaw and she looks up at Xena who is towering nervously. "How XENA? You tell me how." Gabrielle stands up and walks around Xena picking shit from her body and flinging it on Xena. "I bet this is all your fault Xena." Gabrielle stops and puts her hands on her hips. "Yeah." She nods her head wng tng towards Xena and putting a finger in her face. "What did you do Xena?"

"I didn't do any thing Gabrielle. It must be budget cuts. Yeah, Yeah, that's it." Xena pleas to her friend.

Gabrielle sighs heavy as she sits on a rock. "Reduced to a cartoon, how could they."

"Yeah, Yeah." Xena sits down beside her. "Like Xena meets Hercules." She motions in the air as she speaks. "Or what was that other one. Xena defeats the Gods."

"What?" Gabrielle jumps back and gives her a dirty look. "There never was a Xena defeats the Gods cartoon."

"No." Xena shrugs. "Well there should have been."

"Hey wait a minute." Gabrielle jumpsand and looks at herself then Xena then her surroundings. "We aren't even in color anymore."

"What?" Xena jumps up and readies her sword.

-POOF-

Xena nods in approval. "That's better." She relaxes and returns her sword. Gabrielle sits on the rock in a fetal position and cries. "Oh shit, not now Gabrielle." Xena sits down beside her. "We don't even have the script yet. It might not be as bad as it seems."

-Evil laugh from above-

"See Xena." Gabrielle poito tto the sky. "This is no normal cartoon."

--Oh, poor poor Gabrielle you are in no cartoon you are in a fanfic...He He He.... Not just any fanfic... but a... Dum-Dum-Dum-Dummmmmm. A crossover!.-

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Our hero's yell once again while hitting the ground.

"Hey." Xena nudges Gabrielle. "Hey at least we are the heroes." She smiles and shakes her head fast up and down.

"Yeah, I guess that is a plus." Gabrielle sighs "Wonder who we are crossing with?"

"I hope its Hercules." Xena smirks.

"I hope it's not Buffy."

"Yeah." Xena nods in agreement.

-Shhh cannot think.... Cannot think....-

A huge fish falls from the sky and our hero's lay flat. Twitching arms and legs protrude out from under the flopping fish.

"Where the hell did this fish come from?" Gabriel spits.

"Ahhhh. LLLLLLTTTT!" Xena comes out through the middle of the fish sword first. Slicing up the fish, she stands still as the fish pieces land all around her.

"Well, now that was...." The last piece of the fish smacks Gabrielle in the face. "Now Bullshit." Gabriel mutters as she pulls the fish off her face. "I am not going to put up with this abuse." She shakes a fist to the sky.

"Well should we cook this because it seems we are in the middle of no-where." Xena says as she stumbles over a nice pile of wood for a fire. "See Gabby." She smiles walking back to Gabrielle. "This place has nice Gods."

"Yeah, Yeah Xena." Gabrielle says half-heartedly. "How do you plan to start the fire."

"Ummm." Xena stands and walks away from the pile of wood and Wow it starts on its own. "Like that." Xena points to the fire and looks at Gabby with a big smile.

-About thirty minutes later-

"I don't know Gabrielle, seems pretty nice here to me." Xena takes a big bit of fish. "We don't have to hunt are food or even start the fire to cook it." Xena relaxes back against a tree and flops her feet on a rock. "Vacation time if you ask me."

-Suddenly-

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Xena jumps to attention at the scream and readies her sword for battle. "What the hell."

"Where did it come from?" Gabrielle jumps up and stands back to back with Xena ready fottlettle.

KA-THUD!

"Ohhh." Xena and Gabrielle say in Unison, as another body falls from the sky and lands in. Yes, none other then the dreaded pile of Dung.

"Hate'n it." Gabrielle feels the pain. "Thanks to you." She points to the sky.

-SILENCE-

Well AFTER impact of said person into the dung, a big huge pile smacks Gabrielle in the face. "Hey..." Spit. Spit.

-SILENCE I SAID-

Gabrielle shuts her mouth and looks at the pile to see who the stranger could be.

Spit. Spit. "SHIT!" The person mutters.

"Yelp." The girls agree.

"What the hell happened?" The dung man asked. (We will refer to him as such until his identity is reveled.) The girls shrug. "Man, I was about to cut that bitch in half when..."

"Cut? Bitch?" Xena perks at those words and walks up to the stranger. "Where, I want to help." Xena smiles slyly.

"Wait a minute Xena, we don't even know if he is a good guy." Gabrielle always pointing shit out.

Xena drops her head and her sword follows as she mopes over to Gabby. "Come on." Xena whispers. "Does it even really matter." Xena twitches a little. "There is no script and it is vacation after all." Xena looks around to make sure no one can hear. "No one has to know. What do ya s" Xe" Xena looks at her hopefully.

"All, alright." Gabby of course gives in. Xena gives the fic writer a thumbs up.

"But only this once." Gabby quickly points out.

"Goody! Goody!" Xena says jumping up and down and clapping her hands. Then she gets a strait face and approaches the dung man. "O.K. It is settled now." Xena says with a straight face and her sword pulled.

"What... What is settled." Our dung covered friend yells.

"Well, ummm." Xena twitches nervously. "She said I could kill good people." Xena puts a finger in the air. "But..." She smiles slyly at him. "Only this once." She leans into whisper to him. "So lets make it fun." She pats him on the back "O.K"

"People?" our dung friend asks in confusion. "I wasn't killing a person." He watches as Xena causally, without Gabby knowing, wipes the dung off her hands and onto Gabby's already shitty shirt. "I was after..."

"Oh shit." Xena interrupts him. don don't care what it is lets just go get it." She motions him to follow. "Come on. Come on."

He steps forward then remembering suddenly Just, who he was he stopped. "Wait a minute." Dung man speaks. "Who the hell are you?"

"Us?" Xena steps up to him. "We are the hero's of this fanfic. That is who we are." Smugly stated Xena nods approval of herself.

"WHAT? NO FUCKING WAY!" Dung man steps forward towards Xena and shakes vigorously. Shaking himself clean while covering her in shit. Gabrielle busts out laughing as Dung man now stands tall and proud once again. "I am always THE hero in a fic with my name on it."

"Who said your name is on it?" Xena asks while sticking out her tongue. "I have never ever, ever, EVER, seen you before." Xena states matter of fatly as she brushes shit from her tight leather outfit. "I get it. You must be the one we need to save." She nods once again in approval of oneself.

"SAVE?" Dung man shakes his head back and forth "NO WAY BITCH."

-STUNNED -

Xena swings to look at this shrimp of a man. "Wait a minute." Xena walks up slowly, circling him, checking him out. "What the hell are you? You look like something Aphroditie would have on her bed pillows" Xena laughs as she pictures Dung man as a stuffed animal while giving his ears a wiggle
\
"WHAT?" Dung man growls as he swiftly pulls his sword out and stands ready to battle.

Xena laughs harder doubling over. "What..." Harder still she laughs. "What are you going to do with that."

-WITHOUT WARNING-

Xena stands and starts to get all serous and shit -pulling her sword out slowly, because obviously there is no real danger from old Dung boy over there.

"What?" Dung boy shakes his fist.

-SHHH, Thinking here.-

"Grrrr." Dung boy hangs his head. "Demoted to a boy."

"Well Yeah." Gabby points. "Look at your sword." Gabrielle butting in ALWAYS when not wanted.

-SUDENLY-

Out of nowhere, a dark rain cloud appears and shoots bolts of lighting at Gabby. In rn, Dn, Dung boy gives an approval headshake and a smirk towards the sky.

"Now just a minute." Gabby jumps up scorched all over from the lighting. "That could have killed me."

"Not if you're one the 'HER-OS'" Dung boy does quote signs in the air.

"What the hell does that mean." Gabby jumps bad on dung boy.

"It means." Dung boy rolls his eyes. "You better be nice and watch what you say because someone else is holding the 'KEYS' to your destiny." He points to the sky.

"No one holds the keys to my destiny but me...." And on and on Gabby will gab until I shut her up.

-SUDEN...-

"Alright, Alright." Gabby puts her hands up in defeat.

"Now this." Xena says to get everyone's attention back on her. "Is a real Sword." She states then takes her tongue and licks the blade. The Sharpened part of course because she is tough.

"Of course." Xena agrees. Xena then extends the sword to dung boy. "Want to hold it." She smiles. "Huh, Huh, go on." She shakes the large sword in front of him with one hand. Taunting and teasing. She is so good at that, wouldn't you agree.

Dung boy stands and shakes his sword in a rage. "Damn stupid, fucking thing. Never works when it is suppose to."

-THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN-

Dung boy's sword grew three sizes that quick. Gabrielle's jaw dropped and Xena got an anime sweat drop.

Smirking proudly, Dung boy lifts his sword from his shoulder and holds it out towards Xena. "Want to hold it." He shakes the larger then life sword with only two fingers. "Go on." He smirks at her. "Bet-cha can't."

"WOW." Gabrielle gets all school girlish.

"What the fuck is that?" Xena gets a little jealous.

"This old thing." Dung boy points at his sword. "Hey wait a minute. I think I should be promoted again." He shakes his sword towards the sky. "I am sliding with the dung part at least give me the man part back."

"This old thing." Dung MAN lifts it off his shoulder gives a wink and blows a kiss in the air. "This old thing is Tetsusaiga"

Xena's jaw drops. "You named it?"

"Well no I..."

Xena doubles over once again in laughter. Gabby and Inuyasha look dumbfounded at each other then back at Xena.

"So what is she laughing at?" Inuyasha asks.

"Jealousy." Gabby waves off the insane Xena and rests once again on that damn rock.

"I don't get it." Inuyasha sits beside Gabby watching the now rolling on the ground laughing Xena.

"She is jealous of the size of your sword. So now she is going to find any reason she can to either dislike you or make fun of you."

"OH." Inuyasha nods in understanding. "Can I have some fish."

"HaaHaaHaaHaa, he named his sword." Xena rolls in laughter.

"How long will this last?" Inuyasha asks pointing at Xena.

"I don't know." Gabby sighs. "Until the next chapter I suppose."

Therefore, we end with the sun setting behind our laughing hero as the other two heroes' enjoy the setting sun.

"Hey." Inuyasha spits loudly into the coming night sky. "Has it accrued to you yet that there are to many 'heroes' and not enough villains.\ -SU -SUDDENLY!-

A chicken falls from the sky and lands. Yes! It lands On top of Inuyasha. "Shit." Is all are dog demon friend can muster as he tries to out run a chicken.

And so... we end ...AGAIN, with our beautiful hero Xena coming to terms with the fact that there might, just might be swords out there larger thershers. Gabby sighs as the night sky drowns out the sun. Inuyasha....Ahh...Yes.... Inuyasha...well our favorite dung demon is running around in the back ground with a pecking chicken on his head.


A/N Hey All this is just in good fun I love both Xena and Inuyaso Iso I thought it would be cute to see how they interact with one another... So please be kind... I am having trouble sleeping and I have had this idea for a long time and I just started typing it and here it is... so please review... thanks a Mil..... Mules