Fire and Rain

Note: So a lot of you are getting pretty down on Inuyasha, which is understandable. However, think about things. How would it look if he left Kikyo so soon after his ex-girlfriend recovered? He does love her, in a way, and wants their relationship to have a more natural ending with the least amount of pain possible, just ease into it. Plus, he mentioned he could get in trouble at his job and possibly lose it or any progress he’s made once the word gets out. Inuyasha has consistently tried to prove to Kagome that he loves her and they will be together, even to the point of neglecting his job and wife. That shows intent, and the fact that he does not immediately leave Kikyo is him just being uncharacteristically cautious to show just how important him and Kagome’s future happiness is.

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Chapter Nine: The Morning After You





(The Morning After by Meg Myers)








Kōga avoided her all day, which he had never done before. It was like he somehow knew what she had done. It suddenly occurred to her: had she cheated on Kōga? They had kissed, dated, he had confessed his love for her sincerely. True, she had never agreed to anything, but he had been calling her his girlfriend and his woman for weeks and she hadn’t even addressed it. It had just made her so uncomfortable that she hadn’t known how to react, so she did nothing, which was probably not the best course of action, now that she thought about it. Was he hurt? Was she fired?





What had happened to her life?





Feeling low, she walked home, ignoring Sango on top of Miroku on the couch. Kagome didn’t know how, but they had somehow hooked up a few days ago and now they were sort of an item. There had been no opportunity for her to carefully express her disgust for the man to Sango and now the moment had passed forever. She and the crazy pervert had silently agreed to a truce, which consisted mostly of just pretending the other didn’t exist and not mentioning their disastrous date. Sticking to the rules of the truce, she checked her messages on the landline, trying to listen to them over the moans and smacking noises the new couple was making.





“Kagome?” Her breath caught in her throat. Kikyo! Had she found out? “I really hope I got the right number. I was just thinking about you and wanted to get together. How does lunch sound? Meet me at that taco place on Nineteenth Street tomorrow at 12:30. BEEEP. END OF FINAL MESSAGE.”





“Holy snap,” she whispered to herself.





Kikyo wanted to have lunch! Her voice sounded like it used to, when they were younger and she had braided her hair instead of putting gum in it, before Kagome had entered school and Kikyo had been her only playmate and a good portion of her world. Catching herself before she became too excited, she remembered what she had done just that afternoon with her brother-in-law. No, she couldn’t go. Or maybe she had to. She bit her lip. She knew what Inuyasha would say, to steer clear of Kikyo until the divorce. But she wanted to see her. And wouldn’t a good relationship with her sister be more of a cover, make it harder for her to find out until the time was right? It would just make things easier, really.





She decided to sleep on it.





Kagome dreamed about Inuyasha, about their rendezvous. In her mind, they weren’t in the back of his car in the Taco Bell parking lot in broad daylight during lunch hour, but instead on a beach, tasting the salt on one another’s skin. The sun warmed them like they were gods and they had created it for their own pleasure out of their unfathomable and everlasting love. Then somehow they were merpeople and her mother and grandfather were alive and they captured them and put her and Inuyasha in an aquarium, feeding them fish flakes and soda by pouring them by the gallon into their tank. The absurdity woke her up and she realized she had slept until noon, which was alright since she didn’t have work that day. Rushing through her morning routine, she jogged to Nineteenth Street, sweating and ruining the bit of make-up she had put on. But there were more important things to concern herself with at the moment.





“Kikyo!” she called out when she saw her, waving like a lunatic.





Her sister simply smiled and gestured for her to join her at the outdoor table. She already had a bowl of guacamole and basket of chips, and it appeared she had eaten most of them already. Sitting down across from her in a rickety wicker chair, Kagome just continued to smile and attempt to catch her breath, the combined effect probably being a little creepy, but she couldn’t help herself. She was just happy. Even though her happiness was at the cost of her sister’s, the feeling still persisted.





“Did you eat already? Am I late?”





“No, no, it’s alright. I already ordered us some shrimp tacos. Those are the best.”





Kagome beamed. Kikyo just sounded so casual. She couldn’t remember the last time she had heard her sound so relaxed, so content.





“What inspired you to want to get together with me?” she asked, leaning forward and putting her elbows on the table in her curiosity.





She sighed, not quite unhappily. “Kagome, I know we haven’t had the best relationship. Since I was young, I blamed you for the way Mother was towards me, ignoring everything else. I realized a long time ago how wrong I was, but the habit of resentment was hard to break.”





“Kikyo, I’m so sorry,” Kagome broke in. Truly, she had felt guilty her entire life that she was the obvious favorite.





She shook her head, sleek hair moving like water around her shoulders. “Don’t be. I am no longer a child, and I refuse to mindlessly go about filled with hatred like I did before. I’m a new person. I’ve changed.” Her face seemed lighter, and she looked somehow younger.





“Wow,” Kagome stated, observing her sister’s serenity. “You’ve found peace. Did you take up yoga or meditating?”





Kikyo laughed. “Something far more drastic.” She leaned forward and her eyes flashed with glee. “You’re going to be an aunt!”





The world stopped.





Her ears rang.





She was hot and cold at the same time.





Oxygen fled.





The older woman’s smile faltered. “Look, I know things were bad when you woke up. I said some regrettable things, and I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I didn’t take into consideration how scared you must have been, how hurt you were.” There were tears of guilt in her eyes. “I was jealous and selfish. But I need my sister, Kagome. I need my family, and so does my baby.”





Managing to force a smile, she took a chip and dunked it into the guacamole, where it promptly broke in half. She left it there.





“Does Inuyasha know?” She hoped she sounded casual. Happy for her.





Relieved, Kikyo laughed. “Yes, of course. He was the first! I told him on Halloween while he was working late. It seemed fitting that he was so frightened! But most men are that way with their first child. He’ll get used to it by the time the baby’s born.” Kagome couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. “I’m about three months along. We won’t find out whether it’s a boy or a girl for another couple of months, but I really hope it’s a boy. Girls are just so difficult.”





“Was this… planned?” Her voice was no more than a breath.





“Yes and no!” she said brightly, practically gushing her maternal, wifely joy all over the dinky table. “We talked about children when we first got married, and he said that he wanted a family, but not anytime in the near future. At first, I didn’t want kids either, maybe not ever. I was just happy to be with him. But when you woke up, I thought it was a sign. A miracle happened. You came back from the almost dead, and now I needed to bring forth life. He and I are still very young, but I think it’s better this way. Now I get to be the hot mom,” she finished with a satisfied smirk.





Kagome just knew her smile was frightening, but she kept it on anyway. “That’s so wonderful, Kikyo! So beautiful. Congratulations.”





Her eyes were dreamy. “If it is a boy, I’m definitely naming him after Inuyasha. If it’s a girl, I’m naming her after me. I always thought that was so cute.”





“Wow,” she repeated. “That’s so amazing. Um, I just remembered that Kōga asked me to come in today. Maybe I can get one of those books that were written for babies in the womb for you to read out loud. They’re supposed to be really sweet.”





Kikyo smiled. “That would be lovely. I’m sorry you couldn’t stay! But the way I’m feeling, I could definitely manage to eat your share of tacos as well as my own. This baby is a glutton, just like his father.”





Kagome hugged her sister goodbye, sensing that she was more than a little hurt by her abrupt exit. Over and over again, she told herself that it wasn’t Kikyo’s fault. She shouldn’t hate Kikyo. She shouldn’t hate the life blossoming within her. She told herself that over and over and over even as she crawled under her bed in Sango’s apartment, crying with sobs that wracked her entire body, screaming until the neighbors banged on the walls. She fell asleep there, surrounded by dust and salty tears. Only the darkness soothed her wounded soul, comforting her anguish. It was familiar. It was the last six years of her life.





Sometime during the night, she woke to an uncomfortable wet stickiness between her legs, knowing what it was by the faint smell before she reached down a hand and brought it closer to her face. Blood. Her period was right on schedule. Reaching out from underneath the bed, she grabbed the box of tissues she kept there in case of tears and made herself a makeshift pad, which she didn’t quite need since the flow was so light. Still half asleep, she awoke from her silly dreams. There was no baby, there would never be a baby, not for her.





Kagome was alone.