Chapter 9 Forgotten Mistakes
"What about him?"
"No."
"This guy?"
"No."
"And him?"
"Umm…no."
Inuyasha dragged his hands over his face, frustrated with the lack of information they'd gained in the past three days. These mug shots scans were getting them nowhere since Kagome couldn't identify a single of them as a potential suspect. "Come on Kagome. At least one of these guys has to be the shooter."
"I know. I'm trying to find him but know of these men look remotely like those guys." Kagome dropped her head in her arms exhausted from the overloaded hours of continuous blurred faces flashing across the screen. "Can we take a break?"
"No we had a break ten hours ago. We need to keep at it until we get something done."
"Sheesh you say ten hours like it's no big deal." She sighed twisted her arms in a resting position. "Fine let's keep going."
Inuyasha rubbed his hands over his burning eyes feeling completely used up. The hanyou had been up most of last night skimming through the crime scene photos he'd received from Miroku and the witness reports given the day of. The physical evidence was still being processed since they found out that the extra set of blood belonged to a demon because it was harder to dilute than human essence. Which in other words left them but left them a big '
fuck you we got away with it' from the murderers.
He was becoming impatient like Kagome was with all of this constant flicking through these computer images. And hearing the same two letter word could be annoying after the hundredth time it rung in your sensitive ears. "Ok, let's start here after we take a quick breather." Perhaps some time apart would clear the girl's as well as his head of the aggravation.
"Great!" Kagome shot up from the chair and dashed down the hall to the guest bedroom and slammed the door shut. They were easily working the other's nerves so a break was very much appreciated from the girl. She'd been itching to take a nap for a while and the puppy eared bastard was giving her a head ache.
Inuyasha felt the same way. No offense to Kagome but she could practically force a hair follicle from its root just by her voice alone. It was whiny, naggy, and it increased in octave when she became angry or ever wanted to cop an attitude with people. Sure Inuyasha's attitude was one for the record books and he annoyed people with his temper too but damn at least he didn't screech like a goddamn banshee.
It was like having a needle rammed in your ear over and over again.
Maybe he could check on his partner in crime and see what he was up too. They hadn't seen the other most of the day since they started scouring the files for potential suspects. Figuring he was most likely in his room, Inuyasha walked straight there and knocked before opening the door.
Inside just like before was Sesshomaru sitting at his laptop with a mug of coffee by his side and his fingers punishing the keyboard keys. At the rate he was going he could easily set a record for quickest damage on electrical equipment. The keys were probably punched into their sockets by now.
"Hey you might wanna take it easy for a sec. You've been here in for as long as we have."
"I'm accustomed to long hours of work. Be concerned for yourself."
Yep should've foreseen that attitude coming before he walked through the door. "Fine die from a stroke for all I care."
"Demons don't have strokes." Sesshomaru returned not missing a bet in his transcription.
Inuyasha's left eye twitched an irritated impulse. "Whatever." He didn't care what the jerk did. Let him pass out from exhaustion. Maybe that'll teach him not to work so hard.
"Why are you in here with me instead of continuing your search with the girl?"
He should've predicted that question too. "We're doing something called
a break. You know what that is? It's a verb with over a billion different definitions with some relating to rest, sleep, tranquility, hell even take a smoke if you gotta."
"Lazy must be a part of one of those definitions since you're still in here educating me on the benefits of relaxation."
Don't take it. He's expecting you to take the bait. Just ignore him and walk away. Walk away. Walk away.
With no predicted come back from the younger brother, big brother finished off with a flat, "Apparently is it."
Fuck it. He's asking for it. "Sesshomaru do you think you can go for—I don't know— maybe ten seconds without being an asshole?"
Sesshomaru fingered off a few more letters before turning his attentions to the ill spoken hanyou. "Why do you assume I'm being complicated?"
"Because of your attitude. You've always been this way to me. If it's not my human blood, it's my lower level of intellect or hell just my appearance all together. I just don't get your deal." Inuyasha sat down on the bed near the wall, flopping backwards groaning. "You're just so complicated to get along with. I didn't say a single negative word to you when I came in and all I got was lip."
Sesshomaru continued to stare at his disheartened sibling lying on the bed with his hand covering his face. He couldn't be as difficult as Inuyasha was making him out to be could he? No. The boy was being overly dramatic as usual. There was nothing bias in his tone toward him earlier. He was simply stating a fact.
Brushing it off he rejected the other person's presence all together and reeled back to his laptop to resume his previous assignment. He didn't have the time to flitter on the boy's nonsense. His attentions were needed here on this case. A more pressing issue in his opinion than that of his partner's need for attention.
The mild sound finger taps pressed on as if nothing occurred, acting as the only audible signal to both men of the other's company.
Inuyasha stayed quiet listening to the accelerated raps of lean claws pressing into individual buttons with relatively ease. Although his ears could hear each dial pressed in and released for another, his mind wasn't there to focus on the activity. It was on the past like usual when he though over the confusion of his and Sesshomaru's relationship. If one could call what they have a relationship. It was strained. Not loving, not caring, nothing. The entire foundation was built strictly of hatred, repulsion, contempt, whatever you want to go with.
But there wasn't a single ounce of care in the mix. Every solid brick was cemented with pure animosity. And it never seemed as if it would change from that.
"Why do you hate me Sesshomaru?"
The precipitate question slowed the typing speed by a fraction of its normalcy. "Don't ask questions you know the answer too Hanyou." Especially since it's him that hates Sesshomaru more than the other way around.
"Yea you said that last time I asked." Inuyasha, having heard the same answer once before, sat up pushing away the loose white strands from his brow. "You keep saying I should know why you hate me but I don't. So why don't you enlighten me as to what I did to have you be this way to me."
Sesshomaru's stride gradually diminished until coming to a delayed tap, tap, tap…stop. There was no way he was going to get much done until they had this conversation. It seemed to be long over do anyway for the both of them. Moving the mouse over to the start icon he pressed and went to sleep mode for his computer and closed the top. Turning in his chair, the demon dog propped up his head with his hand. "Now that you have my full attention, explain the reason why you need the answer to that question?"
Inuyasha frowned, cocking both his legs under him in an Indian style stance as he faced his smug faced brother. "Don't answer my question with a question. That's cheating."
"I wasn't aware we were playing a game."
"We're not but—dammit could you not be so difficult?"
"Either answer my question or let me get back to my work."
"Why should I have to answer your question first?"
"Because it pertains to answering yours."
He failed to see how. Why did he have to answer the bozo's question first when he had already asked one beforehand?
Sesshomaru waited for his question to be granted a reply but after receiving none for over two minutes he gave a slight shrug and turned back to his computer. "Since there doesn't seem to be any significant purpose to your question than I have no reason to listen."
The instant his claw touched the latch for his laptop; he got the answer to his question in a stone cold tone. "I wanna know because we weren't always like that. Ya know…enemies." Sesshomaru stiffened momentary as Inuyasha proceeded in a quieter voice. "We…we used to…like each other once upon a time."
So that was the root of the issue than. The relationship they once shared long ago? This was what was bothering the hanyou and even Sesshomaru deep inside. Past emotions resurfacing to now cloud them both in confusion. It was true. Once upon a time they did enjoy each other's company. Love is more of the correct term to describe their incredibly close bond. But how could Sesshomaru explain his reason for why he suddenly began to hate his brother? To be honest he wondered who began to hate who first.
Pushing back from his desk, Sesshomaru got up and came to sit next to Inuyasha on his bed. The abrupt closeness took the hanyou off guard for a brief instant before it went back up to protective mode. Sesshomaru didn't seem to be on the offensive but one could never tell with this guy.
Sesshomaru lend forward bracing his elbows on his knees as he slightly shook his head with a small chuckle.
"What the hell is so funny?" Inuyasha scurried off toward the other end of the bed just to be sure Sesshomaru wasn't about to go ape shit or whatever.
Sesshomaru lifted his head with the tiniest smile on his face. "Do you recall the time you were small and I took you to the park to play?"
"Huh?" Odd question to ask somebody when you're about to kill 'em. Still not taking any chances, he grabbed the lamp off the night stand and placed it by his foot for batting practice if Sesshomaru decided to jump him. "Yea I remember. It was on the days I was sad because Mother would away for a few days to visit her relatives."
"Yes. You would cry all day. Father and I had no idea what to do with you." Sesshomaru settled back on his bed clamping his hands on his stomach. "One day, Father was growing weary of your crying and insisted I take you to get some air. That proved futile since you still wept and whined."
Inuyasha's ears twitched from side to side curiously. "I didn't cry that much. Did I?"
"Hn, you could've started your own theme park with your constant blubbering."
Inuyasha rolled his eyes.
"I couldn't think of anything to get you to stop crying. I picked you up, tried tickling you; even rocked you in my arms but nothing gave way." He left out the part about kissing his cheeks too. "Yet you continued to cry and cry."
Inuyasha didn't remember being that much of a pain back then. But to hear Sesshomaru explain it, he sounded like a spoiled brat. "So what made me stop wailing?"
This was probably the cutest part of the story. "A ball."
"A ball?" He repeated slowly.
"Yes. There was a store we passed by and you saw a bright red ball in the window. You wiggled your arms toward the window asking me to get it for you. So I did…" His head turned a bit to see Inuyasha's face. "And do you know what you gave me in return?"
"No what?"
The most precious gift of all. "That wonderful little smile. The way your eyes lit up at the sight of a simple object made me wonder. How could such a thing be so valuable to you? And all I had to do was look at your face and see why. That simple smile was as precious to me as that red ball was to you."
Inuyasha looked baffled for a second after hearing that piece of memory. He vaguely recalls a memory of a little red ball he used to play with as a pup but he didn't know Sesshomaru was the one who bought it for him. "But that doesn't explain anything. All that explained was that—"
"I don't truly hate you."
Inuyasha blinked. "Come again?"
Pause….
"I hate repeating myself."
"I don't care!" Inuyasha needed to hear that again. He had to be sure he wasn't imagining those four words. "What did you say?"
Sesshomaru stared at the fumed face hanyou for a long minute before turning away closing his eyes. "There are things about you that I despise more than again. Your brass attitude, that disrespectful speech of yours, that overwhelming need to defy me, your uncanny sense of insults, the—"
"Geez glad to know you don't hate me so much." Came the sarcastic interruption. "Can you just get to the point?"
"My point, Inuyasha, is that…with all of your overactive flaws…I can't find the reason for why my angry developed toward you. So as for your answer, I can't justify it with a truthful response."
Wow.
All this time, he never knew. "I-I don't know what to say." Inuyasha mumbled still taking in all he'd heard. "If you don't hate me, than why do you treat me the way you do?"
"Hn, I could ask the same of you."
Inuyasha took offense to that. "I had no other choice but to hate you. You've hated me since I was a kid which I still don't get." His head was starting to ache, so he fell backwards laying his head next to Sesshomaru's. He sighed staring up at the cream colored ceiling. Why did he always have the need to pull his fangs out when talked to this jerk? "I had no other choice but to find a way to protect myself from being hurt by you again. Naturally I'd get offensive and start to hate you too."
Sesshomaru turned his head to face Inuyasha's profile. "That may be so, but I don't see why you would take the offensive when it was I that was despised first."
Inuyasha turned to face Sesshomaru's face incredulously stunned. "Oh my god, are you serious?
You started to hate
me first stupid!"
Sesshomaru shot off the bed to glare at his brother. "Absurd! It was I who was discarded by you."
Inuyasha surged off the bed as well. "Are you kidding me? Get the hell out of here!" He threw his hands up the air having heard enough. How could he just sit there and listen to these packs of lies being dished out. He hated Sesshomaru first? Ridiculous. Was this some sort of ploy for him to defend his own mistakes and try to twist his guilt to Inuyasha? "Fuck it. Forget we even started this conversation. I'm outta here."
"Where are you going?" Sesshomaru spat, anchoring him by his forearm.
"Get your hand off me." Inuyasha bristled dangerously, baring a fang. "I don't have time for the bullshit you have lined up to defend yourself. I can't fucking believe you!"
"You dare to imply that I am speaking false truths!" Sesshomaru hot back, sparks of his fangs glinted in view. "I have no reason to lie about my words. I recall clearly being rejected by you for no particular reason to date."
Inuyasha stumbled attempting to gain order of his own arm back from the cinched claws digging his skin, shocked in uttered silence. "No reason?" He spat, venomously. "No fucking reason?
You… you were the one who started it first. You rejected me—"
"—If I did, it was because of your sudden dubious behavior toward me that surfaced from nowhere." The dog demon jerked the hanyou hard enough to slam him into his chest. "The attitude appeared the day I returned from assignment to find you with those eyes bitterly staring at me with such anger and animosity as if I'd done something wrong—"
"—
You did do something wrong. I had my reasons for the way I acted. Apparently they weren't good enough reasons for you to continue enjoying my company or even apologize— Let me go!" He yelled, pulling at his arm.
"No," The grip increased the pricked pressure in his arm. "I recall doing nothing encouraging your heated opinion of me!"
"Oh yea that's a good one." Inuyasha said flatly, rolling his eyes. "Of course the all glorious and powerful Sesshomaru couldn't remember such small things like that. He's too perfect, handsome, strong and loved by all. No… he…wouldn't…remember…something…so…fucking…stupid!" Each spoken word emphasized with a harsh tug at his arm. "No of course not. You wouldn't remember the day you hurt me the most. Not at all—"
"—Dammit Inuyasha if I truly hurt you so much than tell me what I did wrong!"
"Fuck you. Let me go!"
Sesshomaru whipped the hanyou around and took ahold of both his arms shaking him senseless. "I've had enough of your mouth Inuyasha. I've had it. All you've ever done is defy me from all ends. I've tried being patient with you, God knows I have. But I can't seem to get anywhere with you!"
Inuyasha bit down hard on his bottom lip to keep from articulating that terrible memory from long ago. He'd kept that day locked away in the deepest part of his subconscious mind. "Who cares. It's not like you have time to listen to stupid memories!"
Sesshomaru shook him harder. "Enough of the riddles Hanyou. I demand you tell me what you think I did to earn your hatred—"
"—you fucking hurted me when I was a kid. There, you happy now!"
There. There it was. The source of the matter laid flat between the two as their words floated between them. Sesshomaru's grip loosened enough for Inuyasha to shrug himself free and put some much needed distance between them.
Then a soft knock rapped at the door.
"Sesshomaru, Inuyasha, is everything alright?" They heard Kagome's worried voice ask.
Neither answered the girl as they continued to stare at the one standing less than a foot across. Both shocked at the words exchanged, both still breathing sharply from the angry youki hanging around, both flushed over the over exerted heated glare from a similar pair of copper glint.
"We're fine." Sesshomaru finally answered at the closed door.
Inuyasha's eyes stayed focused on the demon in front of him as he replied, "Go on back to the computer Kagome. I'll be there in a sec."
"…Umm ok. I'll just go ahead and start looking at more pictures." Kagome said inching away as if feeling the thick tension seething through the door.
"Thanks."
Sesshomaru waited until Kagome was within non-audio range of the door before speaking tediously, with an added shake of his head. "Inuyasha for you to sit there and…" He couldn't repeat those three words. Accuse him of an act he could not rememeber.
Inuyasha hugged his bleeding arms together, slowly walking toward the door with his eyes hidden under his sweat clumped banes.
"Where are you going?"
Inuyasha stopped at the door. "You really don't remember do you?" He mumbled softly.
"Remember what? A made up lie of me harming you?" How could he ever imply something so preposterous? He'd never struck the boy as a child. Not once.
The bitter chuckle did come at the expense of that false sentence. "A lie huh? Sure, use whatever you want to ease your guilt Sesshomaru. Blame it all on me like you've always done." He placed his hand on the door knob and twisted. "But just do me one favor." He asked and slowly turned around with the coldest smile and bright tanned eyes. "Just think about that day you came home angry and what you did when I tried to give you the present I made for you…" With that same chilled expression, Inuyasha pulled the door open and stepped out to leave the room in a deathly silence.
Sesshomaru watched the door close with a finalized click. Somehow that unusually loud chime seemed to express the hidden hurt from the person on the other side. Was what Inuyasha said true? Had he struck the boy as a child? And if so when? He couldn't remember the time he'd ever not cared for him as a babe.
Wait…
He mentioned something about a present. The only gift he'd received was the day he came home and Inuyasha…came…running…down…the stairwell…
Oh no.
That day…That was the exact same day he'd came home from the hospital…When Kagura was murdered. That day, all he felt was pure anguish and pain. He couldn't decipher anything between anger, sudden loss, anxiety, and tortured bitterness. There was so much going on he barely memorized what happened after he came to father's house.
But now that he could focus on the afterhours…it all was coming back...
Kagome looked over at the dark impression marred over the hanyou's features. She was on edge debating whether they should proceed with the mug shot task or retire for the night. He seemed distant. Completely out of it. Could it have something to do with what happened between him and his husband? They were shouting very loudly. Maybe it was a lover's spat or some other issue she didn't understand in a homosexual relationship.
Little did she know she hit the nail on the head pretty hard. Inuyasha was furious with himself more than he was with Sesshomaru. That day everything changed, he vowed to never let the jerk get to the point of having him reminisce that horrid day…but now it was coming back as clear at day…
How could Sesshomaru just sit there and pretend like he doesn't remember what he did to him?
The bastard
did remember what he did. He's just in denial because it's eating him up inside to know that he could so such a terrible thing.
Even now the terrifying day still sent shivers up his spine. He remembers those cold eyes…those cold lifeless eyes as his brother advanced toward him while he was coming down the stairs to give him a hug. Inuyasha made no mind to it since it was their daily routine for him to embrace his sibling upon arrival. But when he looked up into Sesshomaru's face…he knew than that something had gone wrong…and he was about to be on the receiving end of that anger…
TBC: Sorry that it's short but hey what can ya do with one arm right? Those pain killers aren't doing anything for me but the ice is doing wonders. Next chapter you'll find out what happened between these two in the past. What do you think happened? ^_~ P.S. I'm going to be heading home for a while with my Ma so she can help me with my pain. But I'll try to get to work on the next chapter the next couple of days since it's taking me that long with one arm and all ^_^.
