Shuffle

For the first time in what seemed like weeks, Rin awoke to sunlight streaming through the shaded window, its presence known by the golden glow around the edges of the cloth Roman shade and the white lace curtains. She found herself on her stomach with Miroku's arm lying across her back, their legs entangled. She sighed contentedly, the memories of the night before flooding back: the long drive with that psychedelic music, the walk through the dark field and looking up at that beautiful sky, the hot shower that was only a hot shower… It had all been so wonderful.

Just as she was rolling to face Miroku, his cell phone went off, a stupid standard ring tone that sounded like a series of robot beeps. Rin hated it. Miroku woke with a start, reached over to the night stand and pushed 'Talk'. "Hello?" he said in a groggy croak.

"Dude, you weren't gonna tell me you left?" InuYasha was heard loud and clear as Miroku planted the phone between him and Rin.

"Chill out, bro. All's well." He yawned. "What the fuck time is it?"

"Time for you to start tellin' me how come my wife had to go over to your house at like eleven o'clock at night because Sango was in hysterics!" Rin smiled at his angry tone. Miroku rolled his eyes at his friend as he leaned over and kissed Rin.

"Good morning, little one," he said as InuYasha continued to ramble loudly in their ears. "Listen, InuYasha. I just woke up, can I call you back in like fifteen minutes?"

Rin heard a loud huff and then listened as Miroku assured him he would most definitely return his call. Finally he hung up the phone and told Rin, "I swear, that guy is gonna drive me to murder." Rin laughed, a sweet and happy sound that filled the quiet room. In a flash Miroku had her in his arms and was kissing her neck in the early morning glow. Rin's leg slid up and over his hip, and his hand moved from her shoulder down to her thigh and gave it a rough squeeze. "Hey, why don't you get on top this time…" he said as he nibbled at her earlobe. "Show me what you got, little girl." He rolled to his back, taking her with him.

Rin rode him hard, giving him a "Good Morning" he would not soon forget. It didn't take him long to detonate inside her tight sheath after Rin herself had covered him twice in her sticky honey, and he held her afterwards and told her how proud he was that she was able to perfect these new movements without the practice she needed. After that she excused herself to the bathroom to clean up and then on to start breakfast.

Miroku laid in the bed and let his thoughts wander. The last time he was here he'd been here with his family, his wife and children… He was haunted momentarily by a memory he'd had of Sango and the girls when they were little, one where he and Sango had woken up in much the same way, an early morning phone call from InuYasha, except it was something about the dog crapping all over the house. He'd put his friend off, attempted to make love to his wife, only to be interrupted by two energetic and hyper four year old twin girls. Shinju and Izumi, aka Ju-Ju and Zu-Zu, were positively excited to go out on Grandpa's boat and couldn't wait to go swimming in the lake, and they attempted to put their bathing suits on but got them totally wrong, Izumi wearing the top of her little bikini on her butt and somehow getting the bottoms on her chest, and Shinju wearing her one piece backwards, not to mention her flip flops were on the wrong feet. Sango and Miroku laughed about that memory often, and now as he lay bare and sticky in this bed that wasn't his, he couldn't help but shed a tear for happier days gone by.

"Forgive me Sango," he cried silently. "I just couldn't lie to myself anymore." It was painful. He didn't want to leave Sango the way he did, but really there was no other way if he was to protect his and Rin's secret from the authorities. He didn't want to leave his kids the way he did, knowing all of them had nothing to do with the internal meltdown of their family. And Izumi… His precious angel, the smarter of his girls, usually the softer and kinder one, had all but turned on him because she wanted to protect that internal familial structure. To her credit, she made a valiant attempt, but it was already too damaged to save. He only hoped her sister, the smart mouthed twin with the sassy attitude and a no bullshit tolerance, could talk some sense into her. And what of Shinju? Miroku found his ears remembering the tone of Sesshomaru Taisho's voice as he told Miroku that he was never getting his daughter back.

Miroku covered his face with his hands. He'd traded his own daughter for Rin, his sweet addiction. He hurt inside thinking he'd become addicted to Rin as if she were some ordinary street drug that Mr. Taisho was the dealer of, and had traded his baby girl to get and keep her. And the on top of that he'd left his sweet faithful wife… filed for divorce and left his family in the middle of the night… Gods, what have I done?

Rin suddenly heard him sobbing from the kitchen as she fixed the coffee pot and set it to brew. She raced into the bedroom only to find him crying uncontrollably on the edge of the bed, naked and looking down at the floor as he held his face in his hands.

"Miroku! Baby, what's wrong?"

Consumed by guilt and feeling ashamed of himself, he couldn't answer her. For one, he could not control his sobs. More importantly, he wasn't really sure what was wrong. Did he not promise to marry Rin? Did he not tell InuYasha he was in love with her? Did he not sacrifice everything he had in order to be with her? This is what he wanted… right? Miroku wanted to be free to be himself, with Rin. He didn't want to cover up and change what he didn't feel he had to control. If this was what he so desperately wanted, then why was it so hard to move on? Why did he feel so damned guilty if he'd been true to himself?

Rin's arms snaked around his shoulders and she held him tight to the oversized t-shirt she wore and she simply cradled him as he let it all out. Miroku released his face and gripped the arm that was clamped tightly around his chest. No, Rin was more than an addiction… She had been his sweet salvation, a girl from his homeland who saw how painfully broken he was because he was trying to stifle his true self. Rin snapped the chains around his soul, the chains Sango had made by telling him his urges were wrong and his feelings were bad and his flirty personality was atrocious. Rin broke them by telling him that he was perfect the way he was, encouraged him with her own urges, completed him by acknowledging and cherishing his ribald ways. Rin wasn't an addiction; Rin was the cure.

"I know it hurts, my love," she whispered as she held him while he let out years of frustration with his tears. "I can't imagine how badly you hurt right now." His young fiancé placed a tender kiss at his temple. "I will be right here beside you every step of the way." She sensed he was being haunted by his decisions, as he often was when it came to anything that pertained to their relationship and his existing family. The only thing Rin felt she could do was try to let him know that he wouldn't be going through this alone. She squeezed him a little tighter.

He nodded as she sat beside him, finally straightening himself up and leaning into her embrace. Miroku wiped his eyes and snorted at his runny nose. Rin passed him a tissue and he promptly honked into it. "I need you Rin. I simply cannot let you go."

She grinned at him, nuzzled his cheek, and said, "Hey, let's go get us a cup of good strong coffee, I'll start on an omelet, and you can call InuYasha back and calm him down, okay?"

"Rin…" He shifted his naked frame on the bed's edge to look at her. "I love you. I told you we would make it."

"I know. We will." Rin hugged him as he placed a kiss on her lips. "Do you like cheese in your omelet?" He got to his feet and followed her, naked, through the house, and their morning began as the smell of frying eggs began to waft on the air.

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Sango was still awake at 7:34 am. She'd cried all night, faked going to sleep so that Kagome would go to sleep, then got up and drank nearly the whole bottle of Jack Daniels that was on top of the fridge. Granted it was only half full, which meant that there was probably only a pint, but still… Sango was not in the habit of drinking hard liquor, and she was quite drunk. She was sitting on the sofa in the den, the very same one InuYasha had Miroku and Rin film one of their scenes on, watching the TV Guide channel and wallowing in her own misery. The woman didn't care in the least that if this had been an ordinary morning she'd be up getting ready to haul her kids to school and go on to work. No one was going anywhere today, at least they weren't if they expected Sango to take them. The one who'd gone anywhere was him, and he had taken her with him, supposedly to Japan.

Sango groaned and chugged back the last of the bottle's contents. "Why, Miroku?" she sobbed as she regarded the empty bottle. "Why'd you take her if there's nothing between you?" Suddenly, she felt white hot angry, and she fired the bottle at the wall, where it only thudded and landed with a soft thump to the carpet. Izumi came slowly down the steps and rounded the corner.

"Momma, you really should go to bed." Izumi walked to where Sango sat and offered to help her upstairs.

"Don't you fuckin' touch me!" Sango spit out. She fell drunkenly over to her right to escape her daughters grasp.

"Momma, please… You have every right to be upset, but please, let's go upstairs so you can get some rest!" Izumi's tears fell softly as she continued to try to help her mother of the couch. Sango began and kick and flail wildly, but thankfully Kagome wasn't too far behind Izumi in coming downstairs.

"Sango, that's enough!" Kagome yelled. Kagome gently pushed Izumi out of the way. "It's time for bed, now you're going upstairs and Izumi is going to help me make sure you don't fall and break your neck on the stairs, and if you try to push her or hurt her I'm gonna hurt you, got it!" Sango nodded, wide eyed and fearful of her friend. She stood on wobbly legs and allowed her friend and her daughter to guide her to her bed, where she passed out almost immediately.

Kagome shut the door once they got Sango covered up in the sheets and then grabbed her purse and left without a word to Izumi. The girl knew right away the blame of the last night's events was settling squarely on her shoulders. Damn Daddy's good… she thought to herself. She called the schools she and her brothers attended and passed for her mother, telling the attendance clerks that there'd been a sudden death in the family and that the children wouldn't be back to school until Monday, giving everyone a nice five day break from school. She grabbed a poptart and a glass of milk and sat nibbling at the kitchen table, looking out the back door, haunted by her father's words…

"You couldn't understand Zu-Zu. I could tell you but you couldn't understand." Couldn't understand what? Izumi was the smarter of the two Kobayashi girls. She was on the honor roll all the time, took special classes because of her intelligence, even had some college courses under her belt already. What was it that was so hard to grasp about Daddy's want for Rin?

"Zu-Zu, don't you think this situation here has been murder on me? Don't you think I felt guilty about what I was doing?" She thought about this… When she heard her father making out with Rin, he didn't seem to feel too guilty then. The little glances he gave her at the dinner table didn't come from eyes that looked pained by what he was doing. Was this a lie too?

No, Izumi didn't think he'd be lying about that, seeing as he openly confirmed her worst fears. How could something that appeared to be enjoyed so much hurt so badly? Maybe her father had been right then. Maybe she wouldn't understand even if he had explained it to her, and for whatever reason, she was pretty sure he wasn't done with Rin. It appeared that Rin had effectively replaced not only her sister, but her mother as well. She sighed. Both of her parents were royally pissed at her. Her sister appeared to be as well. All of this because Shinju just had to go to Japan.

Izumi didn't cry. She was past all that now. Instead she gathered her mother's debit card and keys and decided to at least keep her brothers happy by going up to McDonalds and bringing back their favorite breakfast sandwiches and maybe rent a few movies from the little DVD booth thing. It was the least she could do after wrecking their happy home.

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"So, Izumi found out, called Shinju and then Shinju said she's sleeping with Rin's Pop?" InuYasha sounded as if he were going to fall out of his car as drove to his Love Nest to meet Kikyo, Miroku's chosen go-between with Sesshomaru's lawyers. Oh yeah, he'd called as well, spoke briefly to him concerning his eldest daughter, their engagement and what Rin planned to do with her belongings. Miroku told him that at the moment they were kinda on the run, that it would be a little while longer before he would have a place to put her stuff. Sesshomaru seemed irritated that he couldn't rid his life of her more quickly, and of course Rin had a little breakdown at the knotted pine dining table. After about an hour, InuYasha finally called back, bitching about how Miroku had blown him off yet again. Now that he was calm, Miroku was sharing the details of the night before.

"Yeah, evidently what was happening here was happening there. Rin's not too happy how her father never showed her any attention but now Shinju is being lavished with it. In fact it seems like he's trying to shove Rin out of the picture completely now that Shinju's there. I don't know what my daughter sees in that asshole, but whatever. I won't ask her to conform to my version of happiness. I know what that feels like." He sipped at his chilled coffee with a grimace as Rin attempted to figure out the washer and dryer. "She's already applying to universities there, and Sesshomaru has made it clear that she won't have to worry about paying for a thing. Honestly I couldn't be happier for her, despite the odd circumstance we both find ourselves in."

InuYasha chuckled. "Who would have ever thought the same fucked up situation could happen twice, and to father and daughter no less. I guess it's Rin then who is really lucky, huh?" InuYasha really liked the girl, and couldn't imagine her father shoving her out like that.

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm still the lucky one. I just wish her dad would come around to her. It's bad enough her mother's dead. It sucks that her father is emotionally dead." He gazed at her with a little grin on his lips as she read the directions on the wall on how to use the appliances. "She's such a sweet girl. She's bloomed since she first came here."

"I think you're both lucky. Let's just hope Taisho-san's lawyers can end this contract fairly soon. What do you plan to do once that happens?" Miroku heard as InuYasha turned the car off and jingled his keys.

"Well, I told Sango I was going to Japan. I think I still want to go. I wanna see my daughter; meet my son-in-law slash father-in-law…"

"That's some Jerry Springer shit right there dude!" He unlocked the door to the Love Nest, flung a bag of supplies over on the bed and walked to the fridge to grab a soda.

"Yeah. I don't think I'm going to stay long though, and I'm damn sure not going to leave Rin there, so I'm sure we'll only be gone a week or two. By then my divorce proceedings should be rolling and if all goes well I could be divorced by May or so."

"Your child support payments are gonna be through the fuckin' roof friend," InuYasha said as he lit a cigarette. "You won't have to cover the girls but damn, six boys under eighteen, and the oldest one is fifteen… I bet you cough up $2,000 a month at least."

"That's why I'm gonna rent that apartment two doors down from you," Miroku said as he dumped the cold coffee down the drain and started poured himself a fresh cup.

"Freakin' sweet!" InuYasha cheered. "I might just have to move in full time!"

"Well, like I told you, if I found a way to keep her you'll never get a second taste of her…"

His friend laughed. "Can't I just be friends with her? I didn't say that for that reason! It'd just be nice to actually know someone there. Me and Kikyo could walk down and we could party or something! Maybe have a BBQ in the summer."

A memory flashed through Miroku's mind, remembering the BBQ they'd had the weekend before Shinju left for Japan, the weekend before Rin entered his life. Everyone was so happy and having a great time, the food was astounding, and the water balloon fight had turned into all-out water warfare… He took a deep breath. Don't do this, don't berate yourself over every happy memory there is just because of how bad things hurt right now, he thought to himself. Rin is here, all is well, and it's okay to have those happy memories and not feel guilty…

"Listen man, Rin and I have some things we need to get to, like I have to get some plane tickets together, figure out where we're gonna stay and stuff, so I'm gonna let you go. I'll be in touch though. Tell Kikyo she can call me whenever she needs to." He motioned for Rin to come sit in his lap.

"Alright man, take it easy and keep me updated. Enjoy Japan, bring me back some Pocky." He flipped the TV on.

Miroku chuckled. "Sure thing, InuYasha. I'll talk to you later." He hung up the phone and simply snuggled into his girl, breathing the scent of the laundry soap she'd dribbled down the front of her shirt. They didn't have to say anything between them; they were wrapped up in a sweet silent conversation that needed no words. Rin kissed his head, then he leaned back and properly kissed her sweet lips.

Rin found herself lost in the memory of their first and she smiled against him. "What was that about, Little One?" he asked as he laid his head on her chest, nestled between her perfect boobs and still gazing at her smiling face.

"I was just remembering the first time we were together. How scared I was and how I wondered if I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I'm so happy I made the right decision in letting you take my virginity, Miroku. And I'm so glad that I could never be scared of us being together now." She kissed him deeply, and he found himself to be engulfed by that same memory, and found that it was one he didn't mind being haunted by.