Dear Diary
folder
InuYasha › Het - Male/Female › InuYasha/Kagome
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
19
Views:
17,279
Reviews:
22
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
InuYasha › Het - Male/Female › InuYasha/Kagome
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
19
Views:
17,279
Reviews:
22
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.
Entry 9: Privacy Problems
© Salome Wilde, 2008
Author's Note: This was written for the prompt of "bathroom" for the adult Inuyasha/Kagome LJ community "inukagathon." It won first place! Yay!
Dear Diary: Privacy Problems
Dear Diary,
So, just tell me, is anything more totally pathetic than the image of totally horny me, laying on the bathroom rug with my legs spread, rubbing myself raw ’cause I’ve been home for three days and I’m so dying for action it’s like not even funny? I’m in the bathroom ’cause I totally wore out my vibe back in the Feudal Era and our old electric toothbrush (well the buzzing holder thingy, anyhow) makes an awesome emergency substitute. And my annoying family is a little less likely to interrupt me in there than in my room. I mean, everyone deserves some quiet potty time, y’know?
Anyhow, I’m totally polishing the pussy and bang bang bang, there’s Souta pounding at the door, complaining that he’s gotta pee. Must we have the only house in suburban Tokyo with four bedrooms and one bathroom? I leap off the rug and shove the toothbrush back in the drawer under the sink and straighten my clothes and I don’t have to pretend I’m totally miffed when I tell him to hurry up ’cause I’m not done in there.
The little brat doesn’t take long—thank kami-sama, as Miroku says—and soon I’m slipping off my panties again and getting back to it. But in less than five minutes Mom’s there, knocking softly in that total Mom way, like she’s so-so-sorry to interrupt but she’s been holding it for an hour and saying nothing because that’s what moms do…’til they’re gonna piss their pants if they don’t just knock so quietly you can barely hear them over the damned toothbrush. “Okay, just a minute,” I say, in a sweet cheerful voice I do not feel in any way because this time I was even closer than last time. “Fuckfuckfuckingfuck,” is what I’m saying in my head.
I could give up, but I am like so much the determined type, so when Mom finally gets out, I go back in once more, and get smacked in the face by the smell of cherry blossom and poop. I yell, “God, Mom!” and she says, “Sorry, honey,” because who the heck invented the idea that spraying air freshener over your shit was a good idea? Totally gross. I open the window and pee, and soon I’m used to it enough to take out the toothbrush once more. I’m picturing Sesshoumaru now, even though he mostly does me from behind against a tree. I so wish I had his hair. He is such a total hottie babe.
Just when I’m thinking about how he says my name when he’s gonna come—“Kaaaaaaaagome” all deep and gruff in his throat—I hear Souta screaming about how Jii-chan’s cut his thumb open and Mom making worried noises and I’m like totally fuck this house and everyone in it!
You’d think I’d give up, wouldn’t you? But no way. At this point, it’s like a mission. I will find all the pieces of the Shikon Jewel and I will have a come or die. I sat on my bed, arms folded—totally pouting and I admit it—while they saved Jii-chan from the evils of a papercut or whatever. And when they’re all gone I go back. I mean, I figure I’m way safe now because there’s no one but Buuyo to bother me and I’m sure as hell not letting him in here. I’m on the rug again (damp now ’cause they splashed water all over the place cleaning Jii-chan up, but I throw a towel down because I am not a quitter), and me and the toothbrush are going at it like old friends while I reach a hand into my blouse and pinch my nipple, like I make Sango do when I get her lazy ass to do anything (I swear she barely touches me and I go down on her like three times a week!). And then—believe it or not, Diary—the bathroom door came smashing down as Inuyasha kicks it in!
“Kagome, are you all right?” he says bursting through the doorframe, like he’s not the one that just totally gave me brain damage by almost crushing me! He cocks his head and tries to explain, saying he heard the buzzing sound and thought I was being attacked by Saimyoushou. He looks lost and helpless and totally kawaii, but I’m totally furious.
I scream “SIT” so many times I’m sure he’s gonna go through the floor and fall right onto the kitchen table. But tough. I’ve had it. As I step over him, snapping my thong string, I’d love to call him every name in the book…but I don’t. After all, I’m gonna marry him someday and live happily ever after and everything, so I can’t say anything I’ll really regret. Like “I am so gonna let Miroku do my ass when we get back,” which I think and will do but don’t say. Inuyasha flails and groans and mutters something obscene with his face in the linoleum. I glare over my shoulder and sit him once more, then head back to my bedroom to get my backpack. The day isn’t over and I’m getting my come or else.
You can guess what happens next, Diary. I’m down that well and totally into the monk’s robes before Inuyasha even gets his baka butt off the floor. So the day wasn’t a total waste, anyhow.
Dewa kore de,
Kagome
Author's Note: This was written for the prompt of "bathroom" for the adult Inuyasha/Kagome LJ community "inukagathon." It won first place! Yay!
Dear Diary,
So, just tell me, is anything more totally pathetic than the image of totally horny me, laying on the bathroom rug with my legs spread, rubbing myself raw ’cause I’ve been home for three days and I’m so dying for action it’s like not even funny? I’m in the bathroom ’cause I totally wore out my vibe back in the Feudal Era and our old electric toothbrush (well the buzzing holder thingy, anyhow) makes an awesome emergency substitute. And my annoying family is a little less likely to interrupt me in there than in my room. I mean, everyone deserves some quiet potty time, y’know?
Anyhow, I’m totally polishing the pussy and bang bang bang, there’s Souta pounding at the door, complaining that he’s gotta pee. Must we have the only house in suburban Tokyo with four bedrooms and one bathroom? I leap off the rug and shove the toothbrush back in the drawer under the sink and straighten my clothes and I don’t have to pretend I’m totally miffed when I tell him to hurry up ’cause I’m not done in there.
The little brat doesn’t take long—thank kami-sama, as Miroku says—and soon I’m slipping off my panties again and getting back to it. But in less than five minutes Mom’s there, knocking softly in that total Mom way, like she’s so-so-sorry to interrupt but she’s been holding it for an hour and saying nothing because that’s what moms do…’til they’re gonna piss their pants if they don’t just knock so quietly you can barely hear them over the damned toothbrush. “Okay, just a minute,” I say, in a sweet cheerful voice I do not feel in any way because this time I was even closer than last time. “Fuckfuckfuckingfuck,” is what I’m saying in my head.
I could give up, but I am like so much the determined type, so when Mom finally gets out, I go back in once more, and get smacked in the face by the smell of cherry blossom and poop. I yell, “God, Mom!” and she says, “Sorry, honey,” because who the heck invented the idea that spraying air freshener over your shit was a good idea? Totally gross. I open the window and pee, and soon I’m used to it enough to take out the toothbrush once more. I’m picturing Sesshoumaru now, even though he mostly does me from behind against a tree. I so wish I had his hair. He is such a total hottie babe.
Just when I’m thinking about how he says my name when he’s gonna come—“Kaaaaaaaagome” all deep and gruff in his throat—I hear Souta screaming about how Jii-chan’s cut his thumb open and Mom making worried noises and I’m like totally fuck this house and everyone in it!
You’d think I’d give up, wouldn’t you? But no way. At this point, it’s like a mission. I will find all the pieces of the Shikon Jewel and I will have a come or die. I sat on my bed, arms folded—totally pouting and I admit it—while they saved Jii-chan from the evils of a papercut or whatever. And when they’re all gone I go back. I mean, I figure I’m way safe now because there’s no one but Buuyo to bother me and I’m sure as hell not letting him in here. I’m on the rug again (damp now ’cause they splashed water all over the place cleaning Jii-chan up, but I throw a towel down because I am not a quitter), and me and the toothbrush are going at it like old friends while I reach a hand into my blouse and pinch my nipple, like I make Sango do when I get her lazy ass to do anything (I swear she barely touches me and I go down on her like three times a week!). And then—believe it or not, Diary—the bathroom door came smashing down as Inuyasha kicks it in!
“Kagome, are you all right?” he says bursting through the doorframe, like he’s not the one that just totally gave me brain damage by almost crushing me! He cocks his head and tries to explain, saying he heard the buzzing sound and thought I was being attacked by Saimyoushou. He looks lost and helpless and totally kawaii, but I’m totally furious.
I scream “SIT” so many times I’m sure he’s gonna go through the floor and fall right onto the kitchen table. But tough. I’ve had it. As I step over him, snapping my thong string, I’d love to call him every name in the book…but I don’t. After all, I’m gonna marry him someday and live happily ever after and everything, so I can’t say anything I’ll really regret. Like “I am so gonna let Miroku do my ass when we get back,” which I think and will do but don’t say. Inuyasha flails and groans and mutters something obscene with his face in the linoleum. I glare over my shoulder and sit him once more, then head back to my bedroom to get my backpack. The day isn’t over and I’m getting my come or else.
You can guess what happens next, Diary. I’m down that well and totally into the monk’s robes before Inuyasha even gets his baka butt off the floor. So the day wasn’t a total waste, anyhow.
Dewa kore de,
Kagome