Insatiable

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. Rumiko Takahashi does.

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CHAPTER 08: RULES OF ENGAGEMENT


Two months ago…


Kagome dropped on her bed immediately after depositing her luggage in the closet. She did not bother to unpack. She had just returned from an unplanned trip in Italy. It was Friday morning when she received a call from Shun asking her if she could spend the weekend with him. Reluctantly, she had agreed. Four months had passed since they had gotten back together, and Kagome was starting to get used to the fact that they were again a couple. And she was trying to have time for him despite her busy schedule.

“Kagome? Are you in there?” There wasn’t a knock on the door. Sango barged inside her room like she owned it.

Groaning against the pillows, Kagome answered her bestfriend. She had called Sango before her flight home, and had agreed to meet her right away. They had something important to discuss.

“I came here as soon as possible.” Sango sat on her bed. “What’s the matter? You sounded so serious when you called.”

“I’m engaged,” Kagome murmured against her pillow. She was lying on her stomach.

Sango frowned. “What? Talk properly ‘cause I can’t understand you.”

Kagome sat up facing her. Without answering, she brought her left hand in front of Sango displaying her sparkling engagement ring. “I’m engaged.”

“What!” Sango yelled at her as she roughly manhandled Kagome’s left hand. She glared at Kagome, at the ring, and then back at Kagome again. “But you told me you weren’t ready for such commitment yet.”

“I know. It was just… Gosh, it was totally unexpected, wasn’t it?” She was not smiling when she said this. In fact, she looked troubled. “I mean, it was so sudden. I really did not expect Shun to propose. Not that I was waiting for a proposal. But still…”

“How did it happen?” Sango was looking at her so intently.

“So quickly,” Kagome replied.

“Kagome,” Sango chided.

Kagome rubbed the back of her neck. “I really don’t remember much.”

“What?” Sango was incredulous. “Were you drunk when Shun proposed to you?”

“No! Of course not! I was… um… I was a bit distracted.”

Like hell, distraction was a mere understatement describing her state of mind the moment Shun had proposed. She had been totally clueless during that pivotal time.

“Distracted? How could you be distracted when someone was proposing to you? Weren’t you paying attention?”

Unfortunately, Sango was right. She was not paying attention. But, who could blame her? Italy had an inevitable charm. The people were beautiful, especially the guys. The culture was engaging – the food addicting. However, there was one thing Kagome loved about Italy – its architecture. For Kagome who had modern architecture as a major, seeing pre-modern structures was more than wonderful. It was blissful. The grandeur of the place was enough to fuck up her senses – in this case, her hearing.

“Um… I kind of… um… I said yes, I guess.”

Groaning, Sango gaped at her. “You guess? You’re insane, Kagome. This is totally insane. You have a fucking engagement ring in your finger and you say you guess?”

Sighing, Kagome explained, “I know, Sango. Somehow this sounds totally crazy. My head is still spinning because of it.”

“What changed your mind?” Sango asked heatedly. In the past, Kagome had been adamant about not getting married early, saying she still had plenty of things to accomplish and marriage was not one of them.

“Look. It hasn’t changed. I am still not ready for a lifetime commitment such as marriage. I have told Shun the next day after he has proposed and he understands; that is why we haven’t set a date yet, Sango.”

“But do you even love Shun?” She knew on the outside she looked like a terrible person questioning Kagome and Shun’s engagement – both her friends, by the way, whom she cared and loved. However, as much as she treasured her friendship with Shun, she would not deny that Kagome trumped Shun on her book every single time. And she did not want Kagome making a big mistake out of this sudden decision.

Kagome glared at her. “What was that supposed to mean? Sango, I wouldn’t have taken him back if I didn’t.”

“Okay, sorry. I do not mean it to come out like you we are playing him.” So she went too far with that statement. “What I am asking is if you are in love with him. And don’t give me that look, I know you. After what has happened with Shizuru and with him just leaving you for the bitch without even a single goodbye or a ‘let’s call it quits,’ I know that you have been making sure that you have left something in you for self-preservation if the same thing happens again.”

Kagome sighed deeply. Sango was right. Ever since they had gotten back together, she had always had the fear that Shun might be leaving her for Shizuru. And that made her hold back, unconsciously protecting her heart. She had taken the risk when she decided to try it once again with him, but she definitely knew what self-preservation meant.

“Don’t worry, Sango. I’m pretty sure it won’t happen again.” She smiled reassuringly hoping that the part of her that loved Shun would surface to convince her best friend.

But then again, that part had never been the most persuasive part of her personality.

“Don’t give me that crap, Gome. We both know that there’s a big chance it will happen again. Hell, even Miroku fears that when given the same situation Shun will choose to decide likewise. And you haven’t answered my question yet. Are you or are you not in love with him?”

“I’m trying to get there, Sango.” The sound that came out of her lips was faint.

Sighing deeply, Sango hugged her. “I just don’t get you sometimes. You’re too reckless. You take risks when you’re not supposed to.”

With that, Kagome giggled smacking Sango on the shoulder.

“Hey!” Sango retaliated.

“I know,” Kagome smiled at her. Then, her eyes turned sober. “But I couldn’t take back what I had said the next day when everything sank in. I just stayed in my room thinking about the time when Shun left me. What I felt – it wasn’t really the fear of losing him. Instead, I felt a sense of regret because if what you said came true that he would betray me again for Shizuru, then Sango, I would never have it in me to forgive him.” And with that, she would loss his friendship. Should she feel bad for him that she acknowledged his friendship first before his love?

“I seriously thought of giving him back the ring, Sango. But when I saw Shun’s face, I just couldn’t do it. He was so happy, the happiest I had seen him so far. So I told myself that I should give it a chance – give him a chance. If I had lost much of my love for him in the past, then I’d try my hardest to find that love now. If I had built a wall that kept him from completely getting in, then I’d try to bring down that wall for him.” But could she do it?

Sango just smiled at her – wistful and sympathetic. Sometimes her bestfriend just acted too stupid, too naïve, too giving and too much of a martyr for her liking. Well, sometimes. Kagome acted that way, and some other times, she acted otherwise. Nevertheless, that was just what made Kagome… well, Kagome.

“It’ll take time,” Sango told her. Loving Shun would take time.

Judging by Kagome’s response, she knew it, too. “I know.” She took hold of Sango’s hand. “But you’ll always be there to remind me right?”

Sango beamed at her. “Yeah, you can count me in. I’ll be your official progress checker. Next month, I’ll ask you again the same question I’ve asked you today. We’ll do it every month until we find the answer.”

“You’re the best Sango,” Kagome cajoled hugging Sango’s arm.

“I know.”

“And so conceited too,” Kagome added.

“I am NOT!” Sango retorted.

“Yes, you are.”


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Present day…

Looking expectant, Sango smiled at her bestfriend. Kagome sat across her drinking her tea. They were in a café called Brunch Delights located in the east wing of the Metropolitan Complex in Tokyo, and this café only served brunches. Today was that day of the month again when Sango was allowed to be Kagome’s tormenter – err – interrogator.

“So…”

Kagome looked apprehensive. “So…”

“Kagome, you know what I want to know, so spill! NOW!” Sango demanded.

“All right. All right!” Kagome raised her hands defensively.

“Your answer last month has been ‘I’m getting there.’ Now, what’s it gonna be? Are you there yet?” Sango said wriggling her eyebrows.

Kagome hid her tension with a laugh. What should she say? Should she say something positive like “I’m getting closer?” Well, she was getting closer a week ago, but then she met somebody who took her breath away literally with his kisses, fought her literally half-naked, made her taste a slice of heaven literally with his touches and plagued her mind and her dreams up to this very moment. He came like a storm and struck her very being lightning fast, plundered her peaceful emotions like the thunder causing a flash flood of emotions that she herself couldn’t grasp and even fathom that it nearly drowned her. Her emotions were like a rough and wild river. She didn’t trust her feelings right now, she just couldn’t afford to. So how could she answer Sango’s question now?

Wait. What was the question again?

Shit. Even the thought of him made her forget about what Sango had asked her.

“Kagome, I’m waiting.”

Kagome sighed. This was tough. The timing for Sango to ask such questions sucked. She hadn’t settled her feelings for Shun yet. And she was bothered by these so-called emotions towards some silver-haired man sprouting out of nowhere taking her off guard. Not to mention her interlude with him in her couch last night. She didn’t even want to hear or utter his name out loud and silently in her mind because it would only trigger memories that she would not want to recall because it only reminded her of the unfaithful act she had committed.

But she didn’t have a choice, she needed to answer Sango. And she couldn’t lie either because Sango had a way of telling that she was lying. She was not in the mood to endure a lecture from her bestfriend, which she didn’t need now. So she answered truthfully, “I don’t know, Sango. Maybe not yet?”

Sango gaped at her.

Oh well, that was expected. Kagome thought.

“That wasn’t an answer, Gome. That was a question,” Sango told her.

Kagome sighed.

“You’re not thinking of backing out from the engagement are you?” Sango gave her a critical look and Kagome jumped on her seat.

“Wha… What made you think that?”

“The look you’re giving me. It’s telling me that you’re reluctant, hesitant, uncertain, undecided, unsure, confused…”

“Sango, they mean the same thing.” Kagome scorned at her.

“I know.”

“Your sarcasm’s doing great this morning. It’s doing its job of irritating me.” Kagome sighed. She had finished her meal a few minutes ago but she still wasn’t full.

“I am just getting you back for making me all worried this morning for nothing. You’ve stood me up. I’ve almost made a fool of myself. And you made me wait.” Sango looked put out but Kagome knew she was just mocking.

“I already told you I was sorry I forgot about our date,” Kagome replied.

“That’s why.” Sango pouted. “You’ve forgotten about me, your own bestfriend.”

“Ahh… Sango.” Standing up, Kagome cooed at her and started walking.

Sango followed her.

“Humph! How could you forget this face?” Sango told her and pouted some more. “How could you when I got the prettiest face ever.”

“I bet Miroku never forgets that face, right?” Kagome asked enjoying Sango’s childish antics.

“Of course, he doesn’t! Because if he does, I will pound him to pieces. And I’ll make him suffer and throw him out of the bed, and I’ll never have sex with him forever,” she finished while Kagome chuckled.

“Never? You mean never ever. No sex at all? Forever?” Kagome tauntingly asked.

“Um… Okay… for two days! No sex for two days!” Sango corrected and Kagome laughed at her. Sango smiled at her. She had noticed it ever since that morning that Kagome was so uptight, so stressed out, so tense. And it was good to see her loosen up.

“Are you ready to talk now?” Sango asked when Kagome’s laughter died out.

Kagome smiled at her. “You know what, Sango? You’re the best.”

Sango looked smug. Her grin was so wide; she could light up the whole place. “What are bestfriends for?” Then, she turned serious. “So what’s wrong, Gome? Last month, you’ve said you are getting there, and now you suddenly don’t know.”

“I just have a lot of things on my mind, I guess,” Kagome replied. Should she risk it? Should she tell Sango that the real reason why she was confused was because of Inuyasha? Should she tell her bestfriend that she was attracted to the guy? That Inuyasha happened to be causing a riot in her emotions, and right now, she was incapable of dealing with this questioning because of that? But if she did tell Sango what happened between her and Inuyasha, how would she react?

She was buying time, making excuses. “You know… with work and all. We haven‘t got to bond a lot.”
 
“Somehow, I’m not convinced with that. Kagome, I know you. You handle work close to perfect. What’s on your mind? You’re so tense today. It’s unlike you really.”

Sango was making it hard for her keeping this little tidbit from her. She looked so worried, and Kagome knew Sango. When it came to her, she was always genuine. Okay, perhaps, she could tell her. Sango was a reasonable woman. Moreover, she was her bestfriend; she would understand and not judge her.

Breathe, Gome, she told herself. Subtle. Yes, be subtle. That was the key. She should start subtly. No rush words. No mumbling.

“Sango, what would you do if you meet,” she started. “I mean hypothetically of course, if you meet someone - OOMPHED!”

She stumbled back when a guy bumped her.

“Oh sorry!” Kagome said while the guy just smiled charmingly at her and replied, “No, problem,” when it was him who had bumped her.

“Hey, do I know you?” the random guy asked.

Kagome raised a brow. “No, I don’t think so.”

He ignored her statement. “Aren’t you a classmate of mine in grade school, Miss…?”

Sango rolled her eyes. Angry, she was in the mood to rap over some lame guy’s knuckles. “Okay, pal. Let me make this easier for you. She’s Kagome. She’s engaged and you’re definitely not her type. I’m Sango and you don’t want me to be your type so I suggest you get out of our way and continue on with your disgusting quest of getting laid for today with someone else.”

Kagome was trying to hold her snigger, but she was not succeeding.

“And oh, by the way, just a piece of advice, don’t let the women, girls or whosoever you come on see that condom sticking out of your back pocket. Don’t use lame pick-up lines either because that’s what they are; they’re lame. And please… Oh God please, keep your hard-on to yourself, you have barely even touched my friend and you’re already just a pump away to blow your load.”

The guy gawked at her, swallowed hard, and simply walked away from them.

Kagome burst out laughing. “That was priceless Sango.”

“I know.” Sango replied. She deserved a pat in the back.

“No wonder you’re Miroku’s woman. You can control the lecherous beast within,” Kagome remarked as they started walking. Next stop was the bookstore. They both had a few purchases to pick up.

“It’s easy Gome. The way to the lecher’s heart is simple and it begins with the letter S,” Sango replied.

“Oh, Stomach?” Kagome guessed jokingly.

“Hell no!” Sango exclaimed. “Sex… S-E-X… Glorious, hot, heavy, wild, naughty SEX!”

Kagome shook her head disapprovingly and said, “Miroku has caught up on you, hasn’t he? Poor virgin and naïve Sango, I will always remember you. You may rest in peace.” She dabbed invisible tears from her eyes.

“Hahaha! Yeah right, Kagome,” Sango said sarcastically, but then her look turned devious. “Oh! Speaking of which, are you?”

“Am I what?” Kagome spat back.

“Are you still a virgin, Kagome?” Sango asked.

“Of course, I am!” Kagome replied incredulously, her pace quickening as Sango trailed behind her.

“Well, there’s your answer.”

Stopping abruptly, Kagome faced her friend with a confused look. “What? What do you mean there’s my answer?”

Sango looked almost irritated. The sigh she released was that of resignation. “I can’t believe you, Gome. Sometimes I doubt that you are 24 and mature. Okay. Your answer... You haven’t given yourself yet to Shun, which means the ‘in-love’ part that you have implied to me months ago isn’t there yet. Because knowing the virgin and naïve you, you will not give all of yourself to someone you don’t love.”

“Someone I’m not in love with,” Kagome pointed out.

Sango almost rolled her eyes. Kagome had this strange distinction between love and being in-love. And Sango had an issue with it. “Oh correction… you will not give all of yourself to someone you’re not ‘in-love’ with… my bad. And I just don’t get it why you separately refer love and ‘in-love’ when they basically mean the same.”

“No, they are not. Love is general, while being in-love is specific, more focused, more personal. And Sango, it can’t be that simple. I mean, sex equals love? Come on.” Kagome could not accept Sango’s analysis. Because if she did, and if Sango was right, then how could she explain what had happened with her and Inuyasha?

“I am not treating this generally, Kagome. I’m having you as an example. We are talking about you here – not the whole women population. And you’re personality just belongs to those women who treasures their first times. You don’t believe in one-night stands. You don’t do them. You flirt but you don’t let it get too far. You’ve had 4 serious relationships in the past, and not one of them has reached second base. And I bet Shun hasn’t reached second base either.”

Kagome was about to retort.

“Don’t even think about telling me I’m wrong because I know I’m not.”

Kagome frowned. Sango was evil. Why was her bestfriend saying this shit to her? She didn’t need this right now. She did not want to deal with this at the moment. She did not need Sango telling her what she dreaded to acknowledge last night as she laid thinking in her bed. She knew that what occurred between her and Inuyasha was not caused by the sake. Okay, the sake did something to her brain, but still, she was not that drunk. Despite the drunken haze, she was aware of him – aware that her attraction to him was too strong to fight during that night. She almost had sex with him.

But she was not in-love with him, she told herself. She almost snorted at the thought. How could she love Inuyasha when she just knew him two weeks ago? She just felt strongly for him; that was all. It was not love. It was more of a lustful crush - a very intense lustful crush. Yes, that was just it. It was nothing. So she had no reason to worry and tell Sango about it because crushes were meant to fade. Crushes went away after some time. She’d just deal with it on her own. There was no need to inform Sango about what happened between her and Inuyasha.

With Kagome lost in her thoughts, Sango was continued talking. “Love doesn’t have to be so complex. It only becomes complicated if you perceive it as one. The bottom line is... love is as simple as it can get. Sex is not an exception. There’s always an underlying principle. People who avoid commitments involve in casual sex, while those people who are committed make love.” She turned and looked at Kagome. “Kagome, you make love.”

Staring at her bestfriend, Kagome was quiet weighing her choices. She was 24 years old. She had her first boyfriend in sophomore year of high school, and since then, she had three serious relationships. She was not retarded. She knew she was beautiful, and she was intelligent. Guys went after her. Most importantly, she was engaged for two months. Yet, despite all that, she was still a virgin. What did that imply about her? She was not a saint. Judging from how she reacted to Inuyasha’s touches, she did not hate the idea of sex, and she definitely preferred men over women when it came to such activities. It was just that she couldn’t stomach the idea of giving her virginity to any man because she believed in losing it to the man worthy of her love.

“You see, when love hits you, it hits you. It’s as simple as breathing. There’s no thinking twice when you have truly loved. It’s beyond control; it’s involuntary. The choice is yours to either embrace it or not.”

Why was Sango sputtering some Confucius shit? She was easily making Kagome’s mind spin. “Then it’s not involuntary, since you have a choice to grasp it or not.” God, she sounded so stubborn – like a stuck-up bitch.

“Just like breathing.” Sango smiled at her.

Kagome gaped at her. What?

“Do you know what the middle brain does?”

Again... What?

“You see, there’s this part in your brain called the medulla. It keeps you breathing all the time. You can choose to hold your breath for a while, but then after a few minutes, you have no choice but to breathe again because the rising carbon dioxide in your body triggers your middle brain to send a signal to your thoracic muscles making you breathe.”

“And this is relevant because?” Kagome swore Sango had the weirdest analogies ever.

“Because like breathing, you can choose to not embrace love, but then the need to embrace it will only grow in time. And when you do embrace it, there’s no holding back, no looking back, and definitely no running away.” Sango gave her a knowing smile. “I figure out that’s how your mind probably works when you have truly loved. You will give yourself to him, even those things that you treasure the most.”

“That’s scary,” Kagome whispered.

“Of course it is. Love’s the scariest thing that has ever existed. It has driven people mad. It has given way to wars, since the opposite in the continuum of love is hate. It has ruined families, lives and even nations. It can destroy you but then it can give you hope. It can make you fearless and self-sacrificing. It completes and strengthens you. It can give you happiness in the very essence of the word. If it can ruin societies and nations, it can rebuild them. If it can take away life, then it can create life as well.” Sango continued on with her life’s theories.

“That’s deep, Sango,” Kagome said mocking her bestfriend.

“Stop joking, Kagome. I’m serious,” Sango scolded.

“If your love for Shun ruined you the first time you got hurt because of him, then that same love could take away that hurt and heal you. By then you’d be able to give yourself completely to him,” she told Kagome who was chewing her bottom lip.

“Of course, that is if your love for Shun is enough to do just that. Or if your love for him has evolved to doing just that. But right now, looking at you, listening at you, I think you have a long way to go.” Sango finished. Somehow, deep down, she knew Kagome didn’t love Shun. Her bestfriend might care for Shun a lot, but not enough to love him as a lover. Maybe Kagome was just feeling the scraps from her previous relationship with Shun before Shizuru ever came into the picture. That was a bit harsh to say, but she would not tell that to Kagome. Knowing Kagome’s stubborn streak, she had to realize that for herself, or she wouldn’t believe it at all.

“What if you don’t get love in return?” Kagome suddenly asked.

“Then just castrate the bastard and feed him to the wolves,” Sango yelled making other people turn their heads as Kagome laughed aloud.

Sango smiled meaningfully at her and said, “Then you just have to pray… pray that you can hold your breath long enough for you to find love again.”

Kagome simply nodded. She had meant to ask “What if you have mistaken extreme lust for sometime more like love?” But she kept that to herself. Instead, she turned teasing. “Did the poetic Miroku put all those words into your psychologist mouth, Sango?”

Sango chuckled. “No. He made me feel it, experience it.”

“Oh!” Kagome said and mouthed the word “SEX,” her eyes flashing like headlights.

“You need intimacy, Kagome!” Sango chastised her.

“I do get intimacy,” Kagome retorted.

“I mean sexual intimacy, not the cuddly type.”

Kagome only blinked.

“Don’t play dumb with me. You know what I mean, Gome,” Sango said mouthing the word sex. Then, she sighed dramatically. “I can’t believe I have a virgin for a bestfriend. It’s like giving sex-ed to a middle schooler.”

“Hey, I resent that.” Kagome smacked her playfully, as they continued walking towards the bookstore.


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“Do you like this place?” Shun asked surveying the interior of the joint.

“Yeah, I had been here the other week with Sango. She told me they were having a Christopher Cross acoustic night so we went.” Kagome smiled at him following his gaze. They sat across each other inside Rhythm and Blues. Sango had gone ahead before her when they had met up with Shun. He called to tell her they would talk today, so here they were.

“It’s a cosy place,” he said.

“It is,” she affirmed drumming her fingers against the tabletop as she looked at her ice tea. She was staying clear of anything alcoholic right now.

“I haven’t been out lately… been really busy. Father is going to retire soon and I’ll be taking over the company,” Shun uttered.

Kagome continued to stare at her glass.

“Are you mad?” Shun asked suddenly.

“No, I’m not mad, Shun.” She sighed. That was the truth. She was not mad that he had postponed the date night in celebration of their engagement. But should she be happy that she wasn’t? Shouldn’t she be bothered because she felt apathetic towards it?

He smiled taking her hand in his. “Sorry.” Then, he sighed. “I always say sorry to you, don’t I?”

“I’m not counting, Shun,” Kagome replied.

“I know. That’s why I’m feeling guiltier. All throughout our relationship, you have always understood. And you’ve never done anything that has caused you to say sorry to me.”

She froze thinking of last night with Inuyasha. Giving him an uneasy smile, she remained silent.

“HEY!” someone called.

Kagome and Shun turned their heads towards the voice and saw Miroku waving his hand. Beside him was a frozen Inuyasha.

“What are you doing here, Shun? Kagome?” Miroku said as he reached their table. Shaking Shun’s hand, he grinned at Kagome.

“What do you think? We’re on a date,” Shun answered as he and Inuyasha exchanged handshakes.

Kagome, on the other hand, stood in place smiling at Miroku. She gave Inuyasha a quick glance and a low ‘Hi’ that he acknowledged with a nod.

“But I thought you were with Sango, Kagome?”

“I was… awhile ago, Miroku. She went ahead after we met up with Shun,” she replied making sure her gaze stayed with Miroku. Inuyasha was so close. She was tempted to look at him but she held in the urge to do so.

“This is just great, isn’t it? We haven’t seen each other since that night at Sacred Arrow. Why don’t we sit together?” Miroku offered.

“Sure, that would be perfect,” Shun answered.

Inuyasha and Kagome’s gazes met. Yeah, just perfect… torturously perfect. Why did this always happen to both of them? Was fate playing tricks with them? Because this was just like the time they had discovered who they were to each other in relation to Shun.

Miroku sported an ecstatic grin while Inuyash had a frown on his face as they both sat down. She took a peek at the man sitting across her. He had lost his frown. What replaced it was a blank expression, but she could tell that he was not comfortable with this arrangement because of the tension that lined his shoulders.

She urged herself to relax. How awkward could it get? Miroku was there. Miroku had a way of making conversations easy to bear. So she should just relax and breathe; she could get through this. But why was her heart pounding like a hammer against her chest?

“Well, this is new. You’re out in the open, Shun,” Miroku said leaning on his chair.

“You make it sound like I’m some caveman or vampire, Roku,” Shun replied smiling at him.

“But it’s true! You haven’t been out this week, haven’t you? I mean, just this morning, I bet you have been cooped in the office, right? Look at you, a workaholic even on the weekends,” Miroku said disapprovingly at him, as he and Inuyasha gave their orders to the waitress.

“No, I’m not,” Shun protested.

“Yes, you are. Right, Kagome?” Miroku asked her.

“Huh,” she said. The question had caught her off guard. Wait. What was the question again?

“Of course, you are, Shun. I haven’t seen you at all since Saturday last week. You’ve been too cooped up at work,” Inuyasha answered giving all the information needed for Kagome to catch up with the conversation.

“Ah, right, Roku. You’ve been working too hard, Shun,” she said sighing, as she silently thank Inuyasha’s timely save. He should save her, since he was also the person who had caused her lapse a while ago. Why did this happen to her whenever he was near? She couldn’t think straight, and her mind seemed to go haywire whenever he was near.

Leaning on the chair, Miroku crossed his arms. “See, I told you.”

Shun scoffed.

“I bet since you’ve been cooped up in your office, you haven’t been giving Kagome some lovin’, have you?” Miroku was pushing it.

Kagome almost choked on her ice tea.

“Miroku.” She glared at him, but she could fell her cheeks heating up with embarrassment and mortification.

Miroku dared to laugh. “What? I’m just telling the truth.” He turned to Shun. “You know, my friend, you need to loosen up. Look at Inuyasha. He manages and owns a gigantic corporation, but he’s loose.”

That did not sound so right. Loose? Like a wild animal?

“You make it sound like I’m some loose dog, Miroku,” Inuyasha protested.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Inu!” What he meant was… “Look at it this way, Shun. You have the most wonderful woman as your fiancée so you cannot stay all cooped up in the office. Look at her. She is in dire need of intimacy.”

As soon as she heard the comment, Kagome bet her eyes had gone as wide as saucers. Damn. Miroku was a talkative guy, and worse was that he was frank. Throwing a balled napkin, she glared at him. She swore she’d get even with Miroku. However, what shocked her was the sexual overtone in his comment. Had he been talking to Sango?

Inuyasha took a hard gulp from his drink. Shun took Miroku’s teasing calmly and snaked an arm around Kagome’s shoulders pulling her close. That caught the attention of his two friends. Miroku raised his brow while Inuyasha stared intently.

“Shun?” Kagome asked him quizzically.

“Can you work with me on this, Gome?” he said lowly, as he caressed the side of her jaw. Without giving her the time to process what he was talking about, he dipped in to capture her lips softly. She gasped and he took that chance to slip his tongue inside her mouth deepening the kiss.

Miroku raised an amused brow while Inuyasha gripped his empty glass tightly. He needed a refill. He did not want to admit it, but he was jealous as hell, and it hurt as hell as well.

Miroku cleared his throat. “Um, Shun, people are staring.”

Smiling in the kiss, Shun released her slowly, placing a chaste kiss on her lips before murmuring “Thanks, Baby” against her ear.


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Inuyasha paced the poolside back and forth, contemplating on whether to go or not. Miroku had driven him home. The drive was a long one, as he could not stop thinking about Kagome. And he knew he would not be able to sleep if he did not do this. He needed to talk to her. When Shun had kissed her, his mind had gone blank and all he could do for the rest of the time they were together was control his jealousy from showing. And he hated the fact that he was jealous when she didn’t even belong to him. He needed to deal with this now, or he would lose his mind. But before that, cooling down first was a must; taming his jealousy crucial. And he was halfway there. At least that was what he had expected, but it turned out he was making slow progress. Calming down was never easy when you had Fluffster for a brother.

“Are you contemplating on drowning yourself, baka?” Sesshomaru looked and sounded amused. “I surmise something bad has happened since you’re frantic than ever.”

“I have nothing to say to you, Sess,” Inuyasha automatically replied, sauntering towards the path leading to the garage.

“Where are you going?”

“Out Sess. I don’t need to tell you where I’m going! I am not 10!” Inuyasha shouted.

“Yeah, right Inuyasha!” Sesshomaru yelled back.

“Mind your own business, Fluffster!” Inuyasha hollered throwing a football towards his brother’s direction.

Sesshomaru just chuckled dodging the ball and uttered, “Baka.”


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“You shouldn’t have done that,” Kagome chided.

“Sorry,” Shun said holding both her hands. They were inside his car and were parked in front of Kagome’s building.

“You knew all along Miroku was just taunting you and you… you.” Why was it difficult to say he had kissed her?

“Were you embarrassed?” he asked interrupting her.

“Of course, I was. You kissed me in public, in front of so many people. And Miroku kept teasing me after that. Moreover, you didn’t even ask me you would do it.” And there was something wrong with that? They were engaged, so he could kiss her whenever he wanted. Why was her mind rebelling against that?

Shun frowned. “Sorry. But I did ask you before I did it.”

“You didn’t. You were vague,” she retorted.

“Okay. Can I kiss you now?” Shun forced a smile to appear.

“No, you couldn’t get away with just that.”

The changed was quick because Shun was pouting now. “Please… Come on, Gome. I said sorry.” He coaxed her with puppy eyes.

She smiled at him. “Okay, just one… a chaste one.”

Though he did not agree to only a chaste kiss, he relented. “All right,” he said, kissing her quickly, but he lingered for a few seconds before releasing her.

“Bye,” he whispered. “Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you upstairs?”

“Yeah,” she told him, opened the car door and got out.

“I’ll call you okay,” he said.

“Okay.” She watched Shun sped off waving a hand as the other hugged her waist. The sigh that came out was a tired one. What a long day… She was about to go inside when someone caught her gaze.

Just across the street, Inuyasha stared at her leaning against his bike. He straightened and walked towards her, stopping just enough to be close but not invading her personal space. Gripping her sling bag tightly, she stared at her feet. Her breathe hitched, her heart pounded and her hands trembled. He was the last person she wanted to see now. When she saw him, she had tried to walk away pretending to have never noticed him at all; but she was nailed to the concrete pavement. She fidgeted when she saw his shadow near. Shutting her eyes, she tried controlling her breathing and the beating of her heart. If Shun calmed her, Inuyasha made her emotions run amuck. He made her lose her self-control, and it scared her because she had never felt that before.

“Can we talk?” he uttered his hands inside his pockets. His voice lacked the confidence that it usually carried.

She just nodded and followed him across the road and into the park. He waited for her to catch up with him and then walked silently, only a step ahead of her towards the bench facing the big fountain. The water splashed idly as they reached it. He sat down first looking anywhere but her. She stayed standing still, gripping her sling bag so tightly her knuckles turned pale. She contemplated whether to sit or not. Finally, she sat next to him but keeping the distance between them.

“It’s nice out,” Inuyasha said softly, attempting to start a casual conversation.

“Yeah… I think it’s gonna rain though,” she replied awkwardly, gazing the moonless and starless sky. It’s different when it’s only them conversing without the presence of Miroku and Shun. The tension was so thick you could actually touch it prickling the air and her skin.

He said nothing so she stayed quiet. She fidgeted and Inuyasha noticed her uneasiness.

“Have you eaten?” He turned his gaze to her; his voice unexpectedly louder than he had meant to.

She jolted in her seat, startled as she turned to look at him as a reflex. She accidentally met his amber gaze, and they locked - amber and azure in one awkward staring contest.

“Yeah, I have,” Kagome whispered inaudibly, but Inuyasha heard it nonetheless.

“Good,” he smilingly replied. She quickly wretched her gaze away from his as his smile was stirring things up in her.

Silence…

“I’m sorry.” “I need to go.”

They both said at the same time. She stood up but Inuyasha held her wrist preventing her from walking away.

“Please stay, Kagome.” His grip tightened around her wrist. His head was bowed down. She stared at his form and gasped when she saw his face as he had looked up to ask her again, “Please… just 5 minutes.”

His gaze held hers reflecting his turbulent emotions and mirroring her own. With that, she realized that she was not the only one troubled by their predicament, and it eased her knowing that fact. So, she sat back down, but now a little bit closer as Inuyasha released her wrist.

“I’m sorry about last night,” Inuyasha started after a deep sigh. “It was my entire fault. I shouldn’t have taken it too far. Hell… I shouldn’t have done anything in the first place.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Inuyasha,” Kagome replied softly. She couldn’t accept an apology from him when she also had a part on what had happened between them. She was as accountable as he was. However, she couldn’t say sorry because that was as if saying aloud that she had been cheating on Shun. She didn’t know why, but she just couldn’t say that to Inuyasha. Perhaps she didn‘t want him to think she was that kind of woman - an unfaithful woman.

“Yes, it was!” Inuyasha retorted, now looking at her. “I took advantage of you. I seduced you,” he told her firmly.

She only shook her head calmly.

Inuyasha was indignant – not to her but to himself. But he couldn’t help getting annoyed by her disregard. Why was she taking this so calmly? She was supposed to be angry with him. She should be shouting at him now and telling him that she did not want to see him again. But she wasn’t. Why?

Sitting there, she said nothing.

“I almost took you, Kagome,” he continued, desperately wanting a reaction from her aside from the one he was getting now. “And I didn’t even stop to think what could be the consequences of what I had done; how it could affect Shun, our friends, and you. If Shun hadn’t called…”

“I was the sake, Inuyasha,” she interrupted him firmly.

What was wrong with her? Was she unaware of what he had done last night? Had she not felt the extent of his lust for her? It was extreme that was why she was out of her clothes in half a minute flat.

“No, it wasn’t,” he retorted. “If Shun hadn’t called I could have put you into a more awkward situation than this. I could have ruined everything for you and Shun, for him, me and my friends.”

“It was the sake, Inu,” she told him again. But this time, her voice had gone soft.

There she was saying it again and it frustrated him. He wanted her to be angry with him because he was angry with himself. He wanted her to blame him because that was what he had been doing. He wanted her to treat him indifferently because it disgusted him that Miroku and the rest of his friends respected and admired him when he had betrayed Shun so unthinkably.

“No, damn it! It wasn’t!” Inuyasha cursed. “How can you be so… so…? I don’t know what to call you. Be angry with me! Damn it! Slap me! Do anything you want! Just not like this!” he ranted on, his frustration evident in his handsome face.

“Inuyasha!” Kagome called loudly, stopping him. “Listen to me. We were drunk. We didn’t know what we were doing. What had happened was an impulse caused by the alcohol,” she explained calmly to him. She did promise not to blame the alcohol but she disregarded it and consoled him, “We were in a high, a delusion that the alcohol caused us to be in… and… and nothing more.” Somehow, that didn’t sound right to her.

“I was tipsy… but not too drunk, Kagome. I was not seeing things. I saw you.”

Why had her heart skipped a beat when he said that?

“We were drunk, Inu,” Kagome reiterated. He shook his head in disagreement. She almost smiled at that; he sure was stubborn. “And it wasn’t your fault. We were both victims of the alcohol. No one had to be blamed.”

Blaming the alcohol as the culprit and playing the part of the victim, she knew this path was for cowards. She respected Inuyasha for choosing the courageous act, but now was not the time to be principled. There were too many people involved and not just them. There was everybody else and the awkwardness between them would only continue to grow if they would not settle things with each other. Their friends would be bound to know by then and she couldn’t risk the consequences, and she knew that neither would he. That was why she had reasoned the way she did now. It was not a matter of principle; it’s a matter of necessity.

“Look, can we just forget about what happened… and start over?” she asked him.

He continued to stare at her.

“It was-” she swallowed hard. “It was a mistake, an accident and it will never happen again.”

She didn’t understand why but saying that hurt. Nevertheless, she ignored it.

“Please…”

He kept quiet.

“Inuyasha… please,” she asked once again.

“You’re right,” Inuyasha finally replied. “It was all a mistake. It will never happen again,” he uttered lowly and stared at her with a hurt-filled gaze.

When she had said the ‘mistake’ word, it crushed him, made his heart ache making it difficult to breathe, and all he could do was continue to stare. It was different when she had said it, rather than him telling himself that. He knew he shouldn’t feel hurt. However, he didn’t stop the hurt from showing on his face, not tonight.

She smiled nodding her head, not catching the look in his eyes because she tore her gaze away from him to look at the fountain before them. His gaze lingered still drinking her in. This would be the last time he would ever look at her this way, he promised himself. After this, he would stay clear of her, for everyone else’s sake. She was too much of a temptation for him and he feared he would have another lapse. That wouldn’t be a problem since he wouldn’t see her in a daily basis, the only times that he would see her would be with their friends; he reassured himself. His musing was interrupted with a thunder roar.

“We should go,” Kagome said alarmingly. However, before he could even utter a reply, rain fell hard soaking them instantly.

Kagome whined, “This is a new shirt, damn it!” She clutched her soaked and ruined shirt and sported a very bloated pout. Inuyasha gaped at her for a second… and two.

“What are you looking at?” Kagome asked, still with the bloated pout on her face. He just couldn’t take it. He just had to do it.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,” he laughed obnoxiously, pointing a wet finger at her as he clutched his middle.

“What are you laughing at?” she huffed swelling her pouted face further.

“God, Kagome. You should be more careful, if you’d continue to pout that way you’d turn into a puffer fish, because you looked just like one!”

“What the! Jerk!” she yelled and tried to kick him but he blocked it.

“You still kick like a girl, wench!” he taunted, smirked, and ran towards the fountain.

“Why you! Come back here, Inuyasha!” she shouted as she ran after him.

Somehow, the rain was washing away the awkwardness, the tension, the worries, the uneasiness, the doubts, and all the negative feelings they were feeling. It gave them the chance to forget what had happened and what their conversation would bring in the future to just enjoy the now and each other’s company under the falling rain. Just them - Inuyasha and Kagome - under the dribbles of rain.


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R & R!