Searching for Shelter

Disclaimer: I don’t own Inuyasha or Yu Yu Hakusho. They belong to their respective owners. I make no profit from my fanfiction writing.


A/N: Here’s another chapter. Hope you all enjoy. On a side note I never realized how dark Kagome’s emotions have been throughout. Just when she finds something to cling to, I rip it away from her. Well, damn. Didn’t expect it to go that way. Eh, I promise she’ll find her happiness in time.


Searching for Shelter
Chapter 9
Shelter from Her Mistakes


It had been three weeks since Hiei had seen Kagome’s memories--three short weeks to stew over what he had seen. Who knew the little miko had been through so much, and had sacrificed everything for something that was smaller than marshmallow; certainly not the hiyoukai and certainly not the team of detectives that had been assigned to protect her.

Kagome had spent her time between training, sleeping, and occasionally, eating something, though the team noticed that she didn’t eat much. Genkai had noticed her non-stop training, as the young miko pushed herself to exhaustion before she was forced into sleep by her body. Not even Yusuke put forth the dedication that she had seen the girl do, and that was saying something for the boy who loved the challenge of a fight more than anything else.

Back in the Western Palace, growls and shouts were normal between the Taiyoukai Lord and his half-brother, but as of late they had been even more volatile and dangerous. Inuyasha had been confined to his room, and Sesshoumaru had even enlisted in Shippou’s help to keep the hanyou contained. They would not allow him to seek out Kagome. She had earned some peace and tranquility after all that had happened.

Back at the temple, Kagome was once more focused on her training with her newly expansive power. Ever since she had come in contact with it, the temple had been more peaceful than normal, seeing as how her power’s kept the grounds purified and safe. Even the demons who normally resided in the forests around Genkai’s temple were quieter than usual as her power kept everything calm.

She hadn’t associated much with the Tantei and they had rarely seen her at all, though that wasn’t just her fault, but theirs as well. Life had kept all of them busy over the past few weeks, and normally, they didn’t go to Genkai’s except to do their own training. Kagome had talked little to the elder energy manipulator, and even less to the koorime that lived on the premises. Long after Genkai and Yukina had gone to sleep, she could still be found in one of the many training rooms, pushing her power to its limits as she finally showed emotion that she had bottled up and would keep bottled up. Now was not the time to think about lost love or past pain. She had a new mission, and that was to protect her new teammates. They weren’t considered friends in her eyes, because if she did, that put them in a personal position with her, a position that she was avoiding with her entire being. If they became personal, they became more of a liability.

No matter how close they had become in the small amount of time before her resurrection, she would not make them her liabilities. She would protect them like she couldn’t protect her friends in the past. She would not be a sacrifice again. She would become stronger so she could protect them, and not have to worry about losing her life to safe them. She would keep the jewel safe, and she would do what she had to do to keep herself, and her teammates, alive.

She hoped that soon, she wouldn’t have to have them around. Someday, she wished to be able to protect herself. No liabilities. No more death on her conscience. She wanted strength, and power enough to perform the duty that had been thrust upon her. She would not be so easily tricked as Kikyou had been in the past, and she would not get close enough to anyone else that she would die to protect them. The past was just that, the past, and she didn’t want to repeat her mistakes.

She couldn’t.

Too bad the fates didn’t agree with her emotionally charged logic.

Shippou glanced around the shrine grounds that Koenma had directed him and Sesshoumaru to and noticed Kagome’s very pure energy floating over the property. It had been centuries since he had felt such a blast of power, and the last time he had, Kagome had died. With speed he didn’t know he possessed, he sniffed out her scent and raced for where she was, knowing instinctively that Sesshoumaru was close behind.

Kagome was just coming out of a light trance as she heard the wooden sliding door to the training room she was in burst open. The loud sound made her jump as she quickly stood, ready to defend herself if needed. It was only a moment before she relaxed, realizing who it was who had decided to join her.

“Momma! You did all of this?” Shippou asked first, breaking the silence between them. Kagome nodded with a soft blush on her cheeks. “Yeah…I’ve been working hard.” She didn’t like to be recognized for her growing abilities, but those words coming from Shippou made her feel better than she had since this ordeal began. Her psyche was eased at the praise coming from her adopted son. She felt that her hard work was paying off, and that maybe someday, her internal wishes would come true. She’d be able to protect the Shikon alone, and not have anyone who had to protect her.

Sesshoumaru could easily see the shift in change in the girl before him. He didn’t know her as well as he would have liked to, but that was alright. He was still learning. It made him feel like there were still things he had to live for, and one of those things was to try and figure out all the little mysteries of the petite human before him. She looked more than haggard, but in this state, it also allowed him to see what she wasn’t saying. Her posture was one of defiance, even though she was more than familiar with himself and Shippou. Her eyes were dark, and glazed over, as if she hadn’t sleep well for a long time, and through that tired look, there was also a look of desperation and determination. He was an expert at reading his opponent, and right now, Kagome was his opponent. There were many things still emotionally wrong with the woman before him, but he had a feeling, that the one thing she really needed to heal was something that she was denying herself.

“This Sesshoumaru is impressed.” The stoic taiyoukai voiced. Nothing more was needed to be said, as his words had the desired effect. Kagome’s cheeks flushed a deep red and her mouth opened in silent shock. She impressed Sesshoumaru? Her? A human?

He nearly smirked at her reaction but he refrained. Now was not the time to tease her. He remained silent as Shippou raced forward and enveloped her in a hug, one that he noticed was returned. “Hey there…how have you guys been doing?” Kagome finally found her voice, and asked, as she held her adopted son closer to her form.

“We’re doing alright, Momma. The western lands are safe, and our treaties made after we defeated Naraku are still strong.” He informed her, knowing that he wouldn’t be reprimanded for it. Personal matters of the western lands were okay to discuss with her. If he would have said this to anyone else however, he’d be getting his fair share of punishments from his father, and lectures for a few years on proper conversation etiquette.

“Treaties? With who?” Kagome asked curiously, her interest piqued. She had known that Sesshoumaru was powerful, and that he had treaties with other lands, but she had no idea what happened after Naraku was defeated.

“Kouga, for one, and Lord Koenma. Mukuro, from the northern lands, and some others that I can’t remember right now.” He replied, ticking them off on his fingers as he mentioned each one.

“Kouga is still alive…” she whispered to herself, as a gentle smile came to her lips. “…that’s good to hear. I was a little worried about his pack after I took his jewel shards from him.”

“You needn’t have worried about the wolf cub. He was strong in his own right, and since then he has only become stronger, and thankfully more intelligent and less brash. He is a fine leader.” Sesshoumaru spoke up, earning an incredulous look from Kagome.

’He’s praising Kouga? I never thought I would see the day…I guess him and Inuyasha really are alike as night and day…’ she thought to herself before she nodded and asked, “…what happened between him and Ayame?”

“They mated, and Momma! You should have seen the celebration! It was so much fun, and there was lots of food and paper lanterns, and Ayame was wearing this jade green kimono…she was really pretty, though not as pretty as you, of course…” Shippou exclaimed, as he rushed on in his explanation. He truly was like a child once more around his adoptive mother, though Kagome didn’t mind it. She longed to see him as he once was, full of spunk and energy, and more like the child she knew in the Feudal Era. However, though the words he spoke were supposed to cheer her up, they only succeeded in placing another arrow in her heart.

’So he got his happy ending too…that figures. He was never one to lie down and die…what did I expect? That he’d grow old alone? That if he couldn’t have me he wouldn’t mate anyone...that’s it Kagome, forget about it. He couldn’t wait centuries for you to change your mind about Inuyasha, and you know you wouldn’t want him to. Great. I’m talking to myself now. What’s with that look Sesshoumaru is giving me…?’ Kagome’s internal dialogue to herself was interrupted as she caught the look that Sesshoumaru had on his face, one that had her confused, and saddened as well. It looked to her as if he pitied her, and if it was one thing that Kagome hated most, it was being pitied.

Sesshoumaru had noticed the moment that Shippou started talking about Kouga’s mating ceremony that Kagome stiffened, and a dark cloud of sadness raced across her face. He knew that she harbored no feelings of love towards the ookami except for friendship, but he also knew that she never imagined that things would go so badly between herself and Inuyasha. He knew her love was real, but he also knew that it was never returned, and in her unrequited feelings, she had gained many, many scars upon her heart. To put it bluntly, she was lonely, and she was afraid of hurting someone else, or someone else getting hurt because of her.

“Momma?” Shippou questioned, as he tried to get her attention again.

“Hm? Oh, sorry, I wasn’t listening. You’ll have to tell me again when I’m not so tired, alright, sweetheart?” she smiled to him, as she let her fingers brush through his hair. It was shorter now, and not as bushy as it had been when he was a child.

“Okay!” if he had another reason to visit her, then it was fine with him that she was spacing out.

“This, Sesshoumaru, believes you’re in need of a break, Kagome. Shall we retire to lunch?” Sesshoumaru spoke up, earning her attention again. He needed to talk to her, and by the kamis, if he didn’t get her to talk, he’d force her to tell him what she was thinking, and explain just what she planned to accomplish by killing herself off slowly.

“Oh…um, alright. Follow me, then. Yukina should have made something, but if not, I’ll make us something to eat.” She replied, slightly unnerved by the look on the Taiyoukai’s face.

They each went into the kitchen of the main house and found that lunch had been prepared and consisted of sandwiches and chips. Glancing to each of her companions, Kagome went ahead and wrapped some up in baggies to take outside. It was a nice day and she had a feeling that when Sesshoumaru finally started to talk about what he came here for, she wouldn’t want anyone else to see them or hear what he had to say to her.

Each of the three ate in silence, though Sesshoumaru was acutely aware of another presence that was nearby, though he seemed like he wasn’t going to interfere.

Hiei had come back to the temple grounds to check up on his sister after a quick mission in the Makai, only to find that Kagome was entertaining visitors; that of the Taiyoukai and kitsune kit. Curiosity got the better of him and he situated himself close-by in one of the forest trees above them and waited. He wasn’t sure what, if anything would happen, but any sort of information that he could learn from either Kagome or Sesshoumaru would be worth the wait.

Kagome ate about half of her sandwich, before she pulled a napkin close to wrap the rest of it up. She’d remind herself later to finish it, but for right now, she just wasn’t that hungry and she didn’t feel like eating anything more. The action didn’t go unnoticed by the youkai lord watching her, or the hiyoukai who was hiding in a tree near them.

“What do you think you’re doing, Kagome?” Sesshoumaru asked, as his eyes drifted from the half eaten sandwich to the girl who had just set it aside.

“What do you mean?” she replied, confusion coming to her features. What was he talking about?

“You haven’t eaten hardly a thing and I can tell from your scent that you have been working extremely hard already this morning. You should be eating more.” He said, his tone telling her that he was worried about her.

“I’ll finish it later. I just haven’t been hungry lately.” That wasn’t a complete lie, she just had been working so hard that she didn’t give herself time to eat and properly nourish herself. The half truth didn’t seem to be satisfying the Taiyoukai lord one little bit as he shook his head and asked in a softer tone, “What do you think you’re doing, Kagome? Your body is telling me a different story.”

Kagome’s eyes widened in shock before she blushed and looked away from the golden eyes of Sesshoumaru to the grass around them. She was kind of glad that Shippou was surveying the lands and wasn’t at their side right now. She couldn’t imagine trying to explain herself to her adopted son. She wasn’t sure which emotion to settle for first, embarrassment, outrage, or shame, but before she could pick one, she was drawn out of her whirling thoughts by a gentle hand on her chin, one that was forcefully turning her head towards it’s owner.

Sesshoumaru had had enough of her beating around the bush and not being forthright with him. He had more right than anyone else to know what she was thinking, and by the kamis, he was going to get some answers. He was protecting her from Inuyasha, but it seemed that he needed to protect her from herself first. “Talk to me, Kagome. And do not even think of lying to me. I will know if you are.” He said, his tone leaving no room for arguments. Hiei was surprised beyond belief when the Taiyoukai showed something akin to worry when he looked at the priestess, and he had to wonder just what she had done to have the Lord so shaken up, and so persistent about her well-being. Even he had been aware of her dwindling personal healthcare, but it was hardly any of his business what she did. Until she was truly hurt or she collapsed, he wouldn’t let it bother him. Apparently, the situation was more serious than he had realized.

“…Sesshoumaru…” she voiced softly, before she looked down once more. Shame seemed to win out as she played with the hem of her skirt, and let out a soft sigh. “…I’m…having to be protected again…I almost killed someone the first day I came here…and…I just…hate this! All of this!” she finally outburst, as she sat back away from the stoic Lord. He didn’t interrupt her, and only gave her a look that silently asked her to continue. Perhaps she just needed to rant to someone who understood.

“I died in the past…I couldn’t do anything to be useful to anyone except feel those stupid jewel shards, and here…here…” at that, she put her hands over her face and let the tears fall. “I can’t even protect myself…I have to be watched again…complete strangers are being forced to protect me…I almost killed one of them because I didn’t have the power to control my stupid miko ki!” she shouted, as she looked up, finally allowing Sesshoumaru to see her face.

He wasn’t surprised to see that her face was littered with pain and a mix of different emotions that he couldn’t even begin to decipher. She was worried once more about her companions, and it seemed that she were forcing herself to be alone, and do everything alone, instead of banking on the others who had been put at her side to protect her. He almost sighed at the obviousness of the situation, but he refrained. Right now, she just needed someone who understood what she was saying, and for a demon who didn’t understand a lot of things the little miko said and did, this was something he did understand. Letting his golden eyes lock with her sapphire ones, he just opened up his arms to her, and waited. He knew it wouldn’t take but a moment, and it wasn’t, before she launched herself into his arms and began crying into his haori. He let his arms relax around her shaking form and he held her close while she did what she did best to deal with her emotions, and that was to cry. Was she really so alone, that no one understood what she was dealing with? Were the people around her really so ignorant that they couldn’t see when she was in pain? He was seriously considering having a long talk with Koenma about the situation if that were the case. His eyes drifted for a moment to the hiyoukai who was hiding in a nearby tree, and he could have sworn that he saw red lining the hybrid’s eyes. Pushing that thought away for now, he took a breath and tried to think of the best course of action from here-on out. If Kagome continued down the path she was walking, he was sure that she would work herself right into her grave, and that wouldn’t do for one such as her.

Kagome never saw this coming. One minute she was having a picnic lunch with Sesshoumaru, and the next, she was in his arms and crying harder than she had in a long, long time. She didn’t let it affect her though, as she normally would have. Sesshoumaru was a rarity in the fact that she knew she was weak, so showing it in front of him was alright. Anyone else would only see her smiles. Sesshoumaru had become something akin to a father figure in her life, and she could only thank the kami’s for bringing him into her life and for them to come to more than an understanding as she died the first time. She was sure that Shippou helped thaw out his heart where she was concerned, and she knew that Rin had helped in that instance as well. For now though, she just let her tears fall and let all this frustration and pent up anger at herself work it’s way out of her through her tears. After a few minutes, her tears stilled and trickled off, and for that, the Taiyoukai was glad.

Kagome pulled back from the impromptu embrace she had been offered and reached up her hands to wipe at her eyes as the last vestiges of her tears made their way down her cheeks. She looked thoroughly a mess now as tear tracks glistened in the partial sunlight, only adding to her tired and run-down look.

“The first thing I want you to do, Kagome, is take a long, hot shower.” Sesshoumaru began, as he broke the silence between them. She only nodded her consent, and the Taiyoukai nodded in approval before he continued. “You will eat a proper meal, and then go to sleep. Your body is exhausted so it will do what it normally does, and you should sleep for a good, long time, before you awake. When you do, if it is still dark out, you will go back to sleep. If it is light, you have a choice, to take a break and relax, or sleep some more. If I hear you have done anything to stray from these instructions, This Sesshoumaru will not be pleased. Do you hear me, Kagome?” he asked, his tone leaving no room for arguments.

She only nodded once more, and at that, Sesshoumaru reached forward and lifted her head to see into her eyes once more. He thought he saw defeat in them, but he wasn’t sure, so he made sure he had her attention before he said, “You have come far, Kagome, in your training. You will be more than capable of taking care of yourself now. If you wish to become stronger in other areas, I suggest you talk with the ones who are to be your companions now. From what I have heard, the small dark demon knows much about the way of the katana. The taller mazoku demon knows much about street fighting and brawling, which might not help you much, but perhaps he could help you with your agility. The kitsune knows much of plants and plant manipulation and of course, of healing. Any of these three would most likely be more than happy to help you learn more. Do not force yourself to bank on your power alone. You have never done that and you shouldn’t do that now. Even in the past you had Inuyasha’s power, the taijya’s slayer skills, the monk’s cursed hand, the fire neko’s strength, and Shippou’s tricks to help you fight. Do not push them away, for it will only put them in danger. Keep them close. It is what you do best, Kagome.” He said, and the longer he talked to her, the more her heart lightened. He was right. She didn’t have to force herself to be away from them. Even though they were forced to be with her, they were like her companions of the past. She needed to work with them, and not against them. She had nearly forgotten what she was doing. If she got hurt or worked herself to death, she would just be another burden upon the ones who were around her to protect her. She needed to learn to stand on her own two feet and be a part of the team, and try not to stand alone all the time.

Hiei was surprised at the effect the Taiyoukai’s words had on the small miko before him, but it wasn’t an unwelcome change. She seemed brighter and stronger than she had before, and for that, he had to mentally nod in praise at the Lord’s efforts. Perhaps she just needed a new perspective on the situation. He didn’t like the Kagome who was nearly dead in the ground from working herself to death, but perhaps this Kagome would be different. If she could learn to balance out her strength, and settle her emotional problems, she might not be such a bad addition to their little team…maybe.

Kagome moved to stand and she held out a hand to Sesshoumaru, before she smiled just a little. “Thanks for coming out to see me. I feel a lot better after talking to you.” She said, that darkness that had settled over her body easing a bit. He noticed the change, and he was a bit relieved that she had listened to reason and that she was even now making an effort to change her previous behaviors. He wasn’t sure what he would have been able to do had she not realized the error of her ways. He took her hand and stood up, before he glanced back to the tree holding the hiyoukai, and he nearly smirked. It looked as if someone were at least interested in his miko friend, and perhaps that interest wasn’t just curiosity, but something more. Shaking that thought away, he watched as Kagome walked towards the main house and he called Shippou to his side. He would stay until she was put to bed, then he would make the long trek back home. He had to make sure that Inuyasha was still contained in his room, and that things were still going the way they should be. He briefly wondered where her other new companions were at, and he frowned. If Koenma was sending them off on petty missions while they were supposed to be around and protecting Kagome, he would have the young Prince’s head.

If they knew anything about her personality, they should have been scrambling to have time to spend with her, not off gallivanting doing other things other than what they were supposed to be doing. No wonder Kagome felt so isolated and alone right now! It was plain to see that she was turning into herself for comfort and letting her overactive imagination run away with her. He knew that she over-thought things far too much and that was what often got her into trouble, mostly with herself. He had known that she wasn’t 100% after they revived her in the first place, but to come here after only a month’s time and see her in this state had his inner youkai growling with disapproval. She was far stronger than this, and he was going to guide her in the right direction. He had to thank the kamis that she had an agreeable personality and she didn’t object to his orders. Perhaps she knew herself, deep in her heart that she had to change what she wad doing, or risk losing it all. For whatever reason, Sesshoumaru could only find it in himself to be glad for the way this meeting turned out. Even from outside the house, he could hear the water running and he felt a little pride grow in his heart.

Now, if only he could get the rest of the team around her to stop being so distant, and finally show interest in the case they were on, then all would start to be right with the world. He was a little confused at the way things had become, seeing as how he had had two of her new team at his front door, and curious about her past, and yet, upon coming to the temple she was training at, neither of those teammates were present, and only one of the four who were supposed to watch over his little miko were even around.

Shaking his head of these thoughts, he moved to sit on the front porch of the main house, and let his mind relax a bit. He could still feel the hiyoukai near him and he seemed curious about what had occurred. Shifting his head in the direction that Hiei was, he wondered if the other demon would come out of hiding if he asked him to. Extending his senses, he poked a little at Hiei with his aura, and found that the hiyoukai was curious about what he wanted. It seemed that the hybrid demon before him was curious about a lot of things. He almost reminded him a child for a moment but there was no way that he’d say that aloud.

In a few moments, he saw a black blur move to his side and stop against one of the large, square pillars that held up the roof of the porch, and Sesshoumaru hid back a smirk. He was more than interesting, this demon before him.

“This Sesshoumaru, sees that you have taken a small interest in Kagome. Whether that interest is professional or not, this Sesshoumaru has yet to determine.” He broke the silence, as he shifted his eyes lightly to examine the hybrid up close. He had heard the story from Koenma of what happened to Kagome while she was being held in the Spirit Realm, and how she had saved the demons life before him. He wasn’t surprised at the story so much, but he was curious. He must have made some sort of impression on her for her to make such a decision, even in the heat of the moment. From what he knew of this particular demon before him, he wasn’t a social creature. He probably hadn’t said fifteen words to Kagome in the entire time that he knew her, and yet, she had come to such a decision. He had to wonder what she had seen that escaped everyone else’s sight. Kagome had the power to see the innermost feelings and personalities of even the most reserved demons, himself included, so it came to reason that she must have seen something within this smaller demon before him that had her wanting him to stay alive, that had her wanting to keep him around.

As he looked to the demon, he couldn’t help but think of the timeline of all of this. She had barely met him and yet, his well-being meant something to her. He almost smiled at that thought. It had been nearly the same with Inuyasha. When she had told him the story of how they first met, he couldn’t have ever comprehended how much their fates would be intertwined, but instead of fighting against that, she embraced it, even if she was constantly hurting because of it. The hiyoukai beside him was looking at him with something akin to shock and distrust at his statement. Was it really so difficult for him to accept that she was starting to grow on him? Apparently so, but instead of pushing at the small demon, he just looked away into the distance.

Inside, Hiei was growling. He knew of Sesshoumaru, and knew of his power. If he hadn’t, he was sure he would have tried to attack him right now. He let the comment slide, however true it may have been. However, he wasn’t going to provide the demon beside him with more information about himself. He was sure enough that he already had plenty of reports and information on him, and he hated that about the Reikai, and those who were in power. The Taiyoukai before him could get any information he wanted on anyone, whether by spies, or by his own hand, and that irritated him. He was a secretive demon by nature. Knowing that someone he wasn’t familiar with knew things about him was unnerving. It was almost as if he were calling the kettle black, however, considering how he had delved into Kagome’s mind and knew everything there was to know about her. He was pulled from his internal seething when Sesshoumaru spoke again.

“Inuyasha is alive, and he knows that Kagome is back in the world of the living. This, Sesshoumaru, would appreciate you watching over her from now on. You seem like the only one who is taking this mission seriously, and if something happens to her…” he left his musing empty. He wasn’t threatening the hiyoukai, quite the opposite. He was putting his trust in the demon beside him to help keep one of the creatures that he held dear to himself, safe.

Hiei looked up with surprise at the regal demon before him. Why was he given such information? He was sure it would do better in the hands of the rest of the team, seeing as how he oftentimes wasn’t around, but apparently, he had done something right in the eyes of the Taiyoukai, and had earned a little of his trust. He knew this mission was particularly important, seeing as how Kagome was the protector of the Shikon no Tama, and that she was the only person who could keep it pure, but at the mention of Inuyasha, he had to wonder if keeping her alive to protect the Shikon was his only mission. At the heart of Kagome’s story, was Inuyasha. Had the inu-hanyou done something to warrant the Taiyoukai’s worry? He frowned lightly, unsure of what was going on now. Inuyasha was supposed to be Kagome’s first love, and someone she should be able to trust, however, it sounded like Sesshoumaru wanted to keep him away from her. The question was…why?

Hiei quickly thought back to all he had seen in Kagome’s mind, and he frowned once more. Their relationship was decidedly one-sided, however, that didn’t stop him from noticing that even in the end, she showed compassion and caring for him. Was the inu-hanyou going to try and win his way back into her good graces? Was that why Sesshoumaru was on edge? He wasn’t sure, but that thought had his beast howling in rage. He had known that his dragon had taken a liking to the little miko, but to have this strong feeling of anger well up in him at the mere thought of Inuyasha coming close to her, had him wary. Sesshoumaru didn’t miss the look of confusion and unease that came to the hiyoukai’s eyes, and he internally smiled. Oh yes, this was going to be entertaining to watch. He just hoped that Kagome could learn to open her heart once more to someone who was decidedly more worthy than his half-brother had been. He was aware that the rest of the team was a least, slightly interested in her back-story. He wasn’t sure thought where there interest would lead. Before another word could be said, Kagome opened the front door, finished with her shower.

She was surprised to find Sesshoumaru and Hiei standing so close to one another on the front porch, but she didn’t mention anything on that as she moved forward and looked down at Sesshoumaru who was sitting. He nodded his approval at her improved scent and her overall improved demeanor. Hiei was slightly shocked at the transformation that had taken place in the few minutes of time that had expired between her at the Taiyoukai’s side and her going into the house. Her scent was light and fragrant, and no longer diminished with the scent of sweat, tears, and dirt. The sakura smell wrapped around him in almost a gentle manner and he took a moment to inhale the sweet fragrance before he allowed himself to look up to her face and take in her expression. She seemed calmer now, and her eyes were softer. She no longer looked hurried, depressed, and on-edge. He was slightly jealous at the change that had occurred, though he instinctively knew that he would not have been able to invoke this change within her. His eyes shifted to Sesshoumaru and he watched the exchange with barely concealed interest.

“This Sesshoumaru, does not want to see you in that state you were previously in, Kagome. Remember you are always cared for, and that you are not alone. There are many around who wish for your well-being and are willing to do much to see you happy.” He said, his tone soft as if he were talking to a child. Briefly, Rin came to mind. Kagome blushed lightly but she nodded, before she took a seat beside him and replied, “I won’t forget again…it was just…hard. All I could remember was the past…all the mistakes I made…all the things I did wrong…I don’t want to make any more mistakes, Sesshoumaru.” Her voice was soft, that sadness and desperation returning for a moment.

“You are human, Kagome. You are bound to make mistakes, it is in your nature. However, This Sesshoumaru knows that you have learned from the past ones. You will try your hardest not to repeat them. You will do well not to forget that in mistakes comes redemption. No one blames you for what happened back then. The gods are sometimes very cruel, and if you can learn to differentiate between the things you can control, and the things you cannot, I believe you will find that your conscience will be all the better for it.” He said, his words not only touching Kagome, but Hiei as well. Who knew that words of wisdom that were meant for the small miko would also apply to the demon near them? Hiei wasn’t sure what to make of the kindly spoken words that Sesshoumaru had said, but to see the brightening of Kagome’s aura made him mentally thank the Taiyoukai before him for saying them. He knew that he had no way with words, and he wasn’t especially expressive, however, he knew that his actions made up for that. If someone angered him, they could bet that they would see it expressed in his actions. If he was uneasy or upset, it could be seen in his stance and in his eyes. He assumed that he and the girl before him were as alike as night and day, however, at Sesshoumaru’s encouraging words, his assumption started to crumble. They both felt uneasy about the past, they lived much of their lives in the past, and their consciences were heavy with sorrows and weights of the past that weren’t so easily tossed away. He had learned to deal with the past in his own way, however, she was only beginning to learn to deal with mistakes that had been made. Sesshoumaru was correct in what he said. A lot of what happened to her was beyond her control, and unintentionally when he had said that, Hiei could only remember that a lot of what happened in his life wasn’t his fault either. He did what he had to survive.

He felt his heart clench a moment as he quickly looked away from the girl before him. She knew nothing about him or his past. Could she learn to accept him, even with all of his flaws and mistakes? The question had his mind reeling, but he only had one small little voice in the back of his head to reply to his mental thoughts. ’She has already accepted you…’

That one, universal truth, had his internal strength crumbling before it. She seemed unaware of what was taking place in the hiyoukai by her side, but Sesshoumaru was not. He could feel the confliction and growing aura of the demon beside Kagome, and he could only attempt to understand what was going through his mind. Had something he said elicited this reaction within the hiyoukai? He wasn’t sure, but right now, he didn’t focus on that, as he shifted his attention back to Kagome, who only nodded at the Taiyoukai’s words. “I’ll try, Sesshoumaru. I’ll try my best and keep training so I can avoid being so weak. If I can learn to control my power then…I can learn to properly protect others…instead of being protected all the time.” She said, earning a small look from Hiei and Sesshoumaru both.

“Your only duty is to protect the Shikon.” Hiei said, his tone a bit hard as he tried to figure out what in the world this woman before him was thinking. She shouldn’t be worried about anyone else right now, and yet she was.

“No…it’s not. Everyone I come into contact with is in danger because I have this jewel, and I can’t let anyone else take care of it. I have to protect it, and protect those that I love so that nothing happens to them. No matter what happens to me, I can’t let anyone else hurt because of the jewel. Too many people in the past had to suffer because I broke it in the first place. Sesshoumaru said that in mistakes comes redemption…well…this is my way of earning forgiveness. I don’t want to just hear people say they forgive me…I want to prove that I’ve earned the right to their forgiveness.” Kagome replied, as she turned her eyes to the hiyoukai. Her eyes were firm in determination, and beneath that, he saw hope, and a little bit of sorrow. She knew of her mistakes of the past, and yet, she was trying to redeem herself for them. Even if they weren’t her fault to begin with.

In that moment, Hiei saw what her mother had only briefly enlightened them to. Her daughter had the heart of an angel, and her compassion wasn’t just limited to those she knew, but complete strangers as well. People that had been hurt because of the Shikon Jewel she had to protect, were the first people on her list to prove herself to. Her loved ones, and even complete strangers that were around her…to protect her…became her own personal group of liabilities. He understood what she had been trying to do now, and it strengthened his already growing impression of her. She had tried to become strong as quickly as possible so she could do all she had to do, alone, with no help from anyone else who could be hurt. Again, he thought of the past, and his days growing up. He had done the same thing, working as hard as he could and pushing himself as hard as he was able so he could become stronger to protect himself, and protect the one that meant the most to him, Yukina. He had done far more than anyone had ever expected of him, but he didn’t do it for the attention or the reputation. All of it had been done in the name of his one and only living relative. His hard work had paid of, and Yukina was safe and cared for, even if she didn’t know that her twin was alive.

Pushing those growing thoughts away, he became acutely aware that Kagome was waiting for a response. What did he think of what she said? Did he think she was stupid, or naïve? Did he think that her way of thinking would only get her into trouble, like most of her thoughts did? For some reason, to her, his opinion mattered greatly to her. He knew all there was to know about her, he had seen everything for himself as he had entered her mind, so, she wanted to know where she stood with him. Did he hate her? That question was one of her biggest ones right now, though she had discovered that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t exactly hate her, but he had made it clear that he didn’t really care for her either. Right now however, she was just hanging on his every word, in an attempt to better understand him and how he thought. Her mind shifted gears slightly, as something dawned on her. Taking in a soft breath as she broke the silence, she looked into his crimson eyes before she said something that thoroughly floored the hiyoukai.

“I’m sorry for almost getting you killed. I wasn’t strong enough to control my power, and because of it, you…you were nearly purified. I’m sorry for putting you in danger, Hiei.” She said, her voice soft as he picked up the regret and sadness within it. He hadn’t expected an apology for what had happened. He had figured that it was just going to be forgotten. They had been sparring, and accidents were bound to happen. Sure, he didn’t expect that her power would go wonky and nearly take him with it, but it didn’t, and the incident passed. To hear her apology opened his eyes to the fact that she didn’t just so easily forget it. The incident bothered her. The fact that he was almost hurt, bothered her. Even though not a hair on his head was harmed, and he was perfectly fine, she still felt the need to apologize for the incident.

Sesshoumaru wasn’t as shocked as Hiei was, but he was confused as to what Kagome was talking about. He’d have to ask about it later, but it seemed like her words had thoroughly stunned the hiyoukai. Apparently it was a big deal between the two of them because of what non-verbal signals they were emitting from each of them. Kagome was on edge now, as if waiting for the fallout to her words, and Hiei, well, he looked as if someone had just jumped out and shouted “Surprise!” to him. A few seconds passed before Hiei looked to have gotten ahold of himself, and he looked away before his very soft, and deep voice could be heard saying, “Your apology is noted…and accepted.”

Those words seemed to be like Kagome’s saving grace, as her entire being became relaxed and she smiled, though it was soft, and nodded, more to herself than to him. “Thank you…Hiei.” She replied, her heart feeling much lighter than it had been in awhile. Who knew that one apology and acceptance could help her frazzled conscience so much? Sesshoumaru was intrigued as to the interaction that had just taken place before him, but he would think and ponder on it later. Right now, he wanted Kagome to fulfill his other orders and go to get the sleep he could tell she desperately needed. He wanted to smile at the two before him but he refrained. It was just too damn entertaining to watch, and he moved to stand. “This Sesshoumaru shall be taking his leave. Kagome, do not forget what else this Sesshoumaru has ordered you to do today. Do not disappoint me.” He said, before he glanced over to the fields that Shippou was occupying himself in. With one swift whistle, he came running and in moments, he was at the front porch with the rest of them, and looking relieved when he saw the newly washed Kagome.

“Kit, we take our leave now.” He said, before Kagome was pulled into a hug by her adopted son.

“See you later, Momma! We’ll come back!” he said enthusiastically. She only smiled before she nodded and hugged him back before saying, “I’ll look forward to it. Have a safe trip.”

With that, the two disappeared into the air on Sesshoumaru’s infamous cloud, and left Hiei and Kagome alone on the front porch. Silence prevailed for a good minute or two before she turned her head to look at him, and for a second, she just smiled. He turned his head and caught that lingering smile on her lips and his heart skipped a beat. That smile was soft, gentle, and at the moment, it was just for him. He couldn’t even begin to try and figure out what she was trying to tell him with it, but at the moment, he didn’t really want to try.

Kagome couldn’t have anticipated feeling so good right now, and she had no one to share her growing happiness with, so when she turned her head and looked to Hiei…she couldn’t help but smile at him. He had helped her in his own way, even if he had no idea. Sesshoumaru’s words, and his acceptance of her apology had her conscience lifting of all of its previous dark and depressing thoughts, and right now, she felt better than she had in a long while. Without a word, she turned around and headed into the house with a softly spoken, “Goodnight.”

He couldn’t help his eyes following her as she disappeared inside the house, and he couldn’t help but trying to push down the urge to follow her and make sure she made it there alright. He wanted to growl at his growing sentiments, but right now, he couldn’t seem to do that. Pushing those thoughts aside, he just shook his head and murmured under his breath, “Goodnight…Kagome.”

She barely caught those two spoken words, and with her heart light, she let her feet guide her to her room where she went to sleep, and let herself finally get some peaceful, well-earned, rest.

/chapter


A/N: Sorry for this taking a bit longer than I intended to get put up. I’ve been writing lots and lots of pages lately, but they haven’t been for my main stories. >.< I pulled up this half finished chapter, and I just started writing. Inspiration struck, and here you have it! I hope to have her happier throughout these next chapters, and I felt like making Sesshoumaru more helpful to Kagome, instead of just making him some side character. I hope you enjoyed it! (Sorry if he seems OOC, I didn’t mean for that to happen!) Well, please Read and Review! <3

Kudos, Loves!
Sa-chan~