The Tattoo

Disclaimer: I don't own any members of the Inu cast. This was an idea I actually came up with based off a drawing my fiancee did for me. It was a picture of Ayame, looking over her shoulder, her hair down, and in the middle of getting dressed. Her backside was exposed, and a pretty green tattoo was decorating the small of her back. Since no one ever really sees Ayame naked, let along her back, who's to say a tribal tattoo couldn't exist? This fic was actually written by both myself, Lilz(aka White Wolf Ayame)and my really good friend B-chan. With contribution from my fiancee YourouzokuAlpha. Enjoy ^_^


Chapter 9- Letting Go


The journey back into the White territory had been a relatively uneventful one. Ayame was still too wrapped up in her thoughts of the short time she'd spent with Mikhail to have much thought otherwise to engage Lyra in any form of conversation. The tall blonde female didn't seem to mind, keeping her attention and focus on the path that would lead them back home and keeping alert for any signs of danger.

Once the familar smells of her home reached her nose, Ayame allowed herself to relax, and push the thoughts of her new intended out of her mind. It still bothered her that she still felt the lingering feelings towards Kouga that she always had... but she was starting to develop feelings for Mikhail. She could already tell... and it tore at her heart.

All the pain and torment Kouga had put her through seemed just figments in her past, lingering thoughts she didn't want to dwell on any longer. Regardless, she couldn't hold a grudge for him either. Even if she grew to love Mikhail as much as she'd grown to love Kouga, she would still hold a special place for him in her heart. But at least she would be giving herself the chance to be happy. And with someone that returned her feelings.

"We're home, Ayame-sama. Are you still daydreaming?" Lyra asked, raising an eyebrow as she placed a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Are you going to be alright?" Ayame smiled and nodded, patting her friend's hand before moving out of her reassuring grip.

"Yea, I'll be fine. I think I just want to think some things over. I appreciate you being there with me, and it was a very nice visit. We'll have to be sure to do it again soon," Ayame said with a smile.

"Not too soon. Even if I approve of this black prince... I don't want you falling head over heels in love with a guy you barely know..." Lyra paused, eyeing her carefully. "Again."

Ayame blushed furiously as they came upon the cluster of dens deep in their territory, finding herself at a loss for words until she reached the side of her den. Pausing just outside it, and still fighting the blush, she smiled at her beta.

"I know how much you worry about me. Don't worry, it won't be that easy for me to fall head over heels for Mikhail. There are other... complications," Ayame said softly, clearly noticing the disapproving frown Lyra was giving her.

"Like that brown," Lyra remarked, her tone cold and even. She sighed, shaking her head.

"Ayame, just be careful, and be safe. I don't want to be the one to try and pick up the pieces of your broken heart again," Lyra said softly. Ayame smiled, and nodded before turning and heading back into her den. Lyra didn't understand... but it was alright. It wasn't Lyra's decision to make in the end. It was hers.

But right now, Ayame was very tired, and wanted nothing more than to lay down and rest. She'd been under a lot of stress in the last handful of days, between the fighting with Kouga, the courting from Mikhail, and the discussion of peace talks with the Elders.

Ayame needed a break. She allowed herself to plop comfortably on her soft furs, pulling them up around her body, and snuggle into the warmth as it started to pull at her exhausted body.

~*~*~*~

The white pack's territory in the Northern mountains, were notorious for having hot springs. Kouga, sat in the depths of rippling and hot white water that bubbled occasionally. His dark tresses danced around his neck and some even swayed with the ripples of some bubbles that floated his direction. All of him was under the water except for the upper half of his face. His eyes were half closed, and he took deep breaths through his nose. He was trying so hard to relax, and not think about Ayame... or that she was the only damn thing on his mind.

This alone really bothered him.

"I have more pressing matters at hand than to be worrying about Ayame, and who she decides to mate with..." he attempted to justify his feelings in his head. "But if that is the case, then why does it bother me? Why does the possibility of Ayame mating into another pack just get on my very last nerve? I still love Kagome, don't I?" Kouga asked himself. He suddenly growled, shaking his head furiously at himself.

"Of course I do! I told myself when I first met Kagome, that since she is able to see Sacred Jewel shards and sense where they are that she is better than any female demon," He continued, think to himself outloud, his light blue eyes narrowing slightly in the depth of his pondering. Kouga's thoughts began to wander as he averted his eyes from staring directly in front of him, to glance at a distant waterfall that was visible from the springs location near a cliff side.

"But Ayame is kin, she is wolf. As am I. Perhaps that is why the decision, more so the bothersome feeling in my gut, has never disappeared ever since Ayame ran back into me not so long ago? I have always known this... but the decision still haunts me. What in the heavens do I do?" Kouga pondered.

With a deep in take of breath into his nose, he rose from the hot water. Beads of the spring trickling like rain down his bare chest and stomach, down his back and firm buttocks, only to continue farther downwards onto his finely muscled legs. He stepped out of the hot water and without a second thought, scaled down the medium sized cliff to get to the bottom of the waterfall he had been staring at. The moon was in a crescent in the sky, so no lunar rainbows tonight... but this waterfall... this was the same one... the one that he had made the promise under.

It was here that he and Ayame had seen the moon kissed colors dance above the water's edge as it cascaded into the river where his feet were now wading.

Kouga felt his breath catch in his throat. He realized that although in the past, in fact the last time he was at a waterfall, he remembered what had transpired between him and Ayame so many many years ago. He remembered whispering into the wind for Ayame to forget about that same promise. His fear was that he wouldn't be alive after exacting his revenge. That was the reason... all along, that was the largest thing holding him back. The fact that he had made two promises that contradicted the other.

The first promise was if Ayame came down from the mountain, then he would take her as his bride.

The second promise involved too much blood shed. He had promised the lost souls of his deceased brethren that he would kill Naraku to get revenge for their deaths. Ayame was already so busy trying to talk peace with the other tribes, that helping him find Naraku didn't need to be added to her list of things to do. It was not her problem to fix. There was no way he would ask her to do such a thing.

Kouga knew that in the long run, it would be better and more beneficial for Ayame if they both agreed to discontinue the betrothal between them. Even though technically it already had been broken... he was now in love with a mortal woman, and Ayame was being courted by another wolf demon. Even though the thought of Mikhail all over Ayame really made Kouga's blood boil. he wouldn't, no couldn't, keep Ayame from being truly happy.

It would be hard to explain to her. He had attempted to do so before, but the words just never came out the right way. He was never able to just spit it out as to why he couldn't keep his end of the promise. As simple as it was.

"I can not marry you Ayame because I need to get revenge for my fallen brothers. I know I made a promise to you. But I made a promise to them too... I would never be able to forgive myself if I didn't seek out revenge for them. But I know that with time, you can be happy without me. I'm only in your way..." he whispered to the waterfall, as he made it out to be his surrogate Ayame for the time being. Speaking to it, pretending to have a level headed conversation with the red head.

"What the hell am I doing?" he cursed louder to himself.

He glared up at the waterfall, his blue eyes narrowing angrily. He marched through the knee deep water and walked right under one of the threads of the waterfall, one of the heavier flows of the cascade. He stood directly beneath it, with his arms crossed over his chest defiantly.

"Now the bitch has me talking to water."

~*~*~*~

Ayame had no idea how long she'd been sleeping, when she rolled unto her side, reluctantly opening her eyes. She yawned widely, flashing her pearly white fangs briefly, stretching her arms over her head as she sat up into a sitting position. She pushed her hair back out of her face as she glanced towards the entrance of her den.

Judging from the lack of light from outside, she would guess it was still full dark. She couldn't have been sleeping too long.

She sighed as she rose to her feet, grabbing her comb and starting to brush it through her long red locks. She closed her eyes, pausing in her grooming as she bit her bottom lip. She'd had that dream again. The one with him in it, how he'd come to her rescue just when she needed it most. How he'd come and swept her off her feet, promising to marry her. And then it had turned into a nightmare, where he declared her not worthy of him, that he didn't want her but someone else, that she wasn't good enough for him.

She blinked back the tears that still stung beneath her eyelids.

Why was it so hard for her to let him go? He had someone else he wanted, and she now had someone who wanted her in return. She was starting to develop some kind of feelings for him, but she couldn't seem to stop thinking about the Brown Wolf Prince.

"Why can't you let me go? Why can't I move on?" Ayame whimpered softly into the silence of her den. She sighed, shaking her head as she set the brush down, and headed out towards the mouth of the den. She needed to clear her thoughts, she needed to relax and try and calm herself.

She needed a bath. Perhaps a soothing trip to the hot springs would ease her troubled mind and sore muscles. She only wished it could ease her sore heart. But she couldn't expect miracles, now could she?

Silently, she made her way out of the pack's den parameter, grateful the wind was keeping her scent downwind. It wouldn't take more than a handful of minutes for her to reach the hot springs, and it would be nice just to sink into their bubbling warmth, close her eyes, and let all her problems melt away.

Even if they would just be waiting for her when she came out, but she wouldn't think of that now. As she neared closer to the site of the Northern hot springs, Ayame took in the scents surrounding the area. Various wildlife, but nothing she smelled that would indicate any danger for her. The area was free of anyone else but her.

Behind the high cluster of rocks that ran around this particular hot spring, Ayame swiftly unlatched her armor, and slid out of her pelts and furs. She wasted no time putting her clothing aside, not wanting to be out in the chilly night air too long. She set her armor aside a tree trunk and hung her skirt, cloak, and leggings over a tree branch that hung high off the ground.

She crept around the corner, and after testing the heated waters, she started to sink into the hot springs. She closed her eyes in pleasurable contentment as the warm water swallowed her up, until she was seated comfortably and the steamy water bubbled just above the swell of her moderate breasts. She opened her eyes, a soft content smile on her face, but it didn't last long.

Her face paled suddenly, her green eyes wide and disbelieving as she gaped down at the watery figure below her emerged in the waterfall at the base of the medium sized cliff.

She couldn't make out much of the figure, but that it was more than likely male by its build, and standing in the waterfall beneath one of the heavy curtains. She yelped softly, biting her lip and ducking her head down until her nose was just above the water, hiding her nudity beneath the frothy steamy water. Her green eyes widened as she recognized the black hair streaming down the figure's head and around his neck... and that brown tail.

She blushed, even through she barely felt the heat of it with the heat of the hot spring she was submerged in. Her green eyes were frozen on him, her tongue seemingly lost in the sea of surprise, disbelief, and embarrassment.

Oh god... why did it have to be him of all people...?

Hadn't he gone back home? What was he still doing in the North? Ephiny had said Kouga had gone home, at least, that was what Takkun had told her. Did he come back? And what for? And what was he doing over there? Was he...? Ayame flushed in embarrassment, dunking her head briefly under the water. Yes, he was... he was as naked as she was! This was insane! Were the ancestors trying to curse her?

She emerged slightly, only her eyes this time above the water. Had he noticed her? Maybe if he hadn't, she could sneak out, and escape before he did, but that depended on how deep he was beneath the waterfall and if he were paying attention to anything around him. She cursed herself for not having the sense of mind to notice him BEFORE she'd gotten naked and in the water.

What if he had seen her? Oh gods, that would be the last thing she needed! It was bad enough he saw her nearly naked almost a week ago. Now, if he'd gotten a fair eyeful she would be mortified. She prayed he didn't notice her. She just had to figure out a way to get out of there without him seeing her. That shouldn't be too hard... right?

Kouga took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he stepped free of the torrent cascade. The constant pressure of the water beating onto his shoulders and back muscles had allowed him some slight relief from his thoughts. It also let him relax his body... the most he had done for himself in a very long time. He waded back into the knee deep river and leaped onto a rock, and scaled his way back up to where the hot spring was located. Without thinking, he casually jumped over the privacy rocks to land back into the hot water of the spring. Settling down with a sigh of content, shutting his eyes.

After a few moments of getting used to the water, he opened his eyes once again, to find that he was not alone in the water... but in fact, the woman he had been thinking about all night was sitting on the opposite side of the spring from him, deep in the water, only allowing the top part of her face to show.

He raised both eyebrows in surprise, not expecting company, let alone from Ayame. Instinctively, he felt his chest swell with pride and he sat up in the water, exposing his chest, letting the water roll from his hair down his skin and over his dark tan nipples. He wasn't sure of what to say, but words started flowing from his mouth without his permission.

"Ayame... I did not expect you to come home yet," His voice was in his casual low baritone, but held an edge of pity, making his tone softer than his normal brash accusations and commands. He knew that this was indeed her home, her territory, but when the Elders had called him back to continue discussing details on peace arrangements, and he had come back to the white pack's mountain territory, Ayame's grandfather had told him that Ayame went to spend a few days in the black territory farther north. It was the whole reason that Kouga had spent so much time thinking to himself about what he should do.

A large part of him wanted more than anything to cross the pool of hot water and stake his claim on Ayame here and now. But for once, he did not just do whatever he wanted. He had learned from past mistakes that one can't handle every situation like that.

Ayame had already been heartbroken by his harsh words and abrasive attitude before, so now, he wanted to be more delicate with her. That side of him also held onto the hope that Ayame would be waiting for him forever, and whoever this Mikhail guy was would mean nothing to her. But he knew that it was not safe to hold onto false hope.

"If you want me to leave, I would understand," he stated.

Ayame's eyes were still wide as they had been from when Kouga had suddenly vaulted over the side of the rocks, and landed with a splash into the steamy water. For one instance, her mind's eye was emblazoned with the one teasing image she hoped she would live to go without. But she averted her gaze, suddenly finding the nearby shore very fascinating.

She didn't fail to notice the way he'd been surprised to see her, or the way his chest had puffed up out of the water. But once she noticed his... other... lower extremities had been in fact hidden beneath the water, she relaxed a bit, and glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. As appreciative as the young princess was, she didn't want her life long crush to get the wrong idea, thinking her having gotten an eyeful.

Even if she had.

Deep down, she knew she could tell him she hadn't witnessed anything, but she had the sneaking suspicion Kouga wouldn't have cared either way. She turned to look fully at him however as he started speaking to her, and by what he had to say.

"No, Kouga, you don't have to leave.... I mean," She started, raising herself up out of the water as her comfort level grew. She never had been nervous around him, she trusted him with her very life... but... she was naked not too far from the man of her dreams in the exact same state. His words from days before came back, and she sighed sadly, closing her eyes briefly.

Kouga was beyond her reach, she had a suitor now, and she could afford to be more comfortable with him. She hated to admit it out loud but a part of her wanted him to realize what he was giving up, as selfish as it might be of the white princess.

Growing more confident, she sat up fully in the water, until she rose to her feet, the water rolling down her body in crystalline trails over the swell of full breasts, and over the flatness of her stomach and the curve of her hips. Kouga didn't mean too, but he stared ahead at the beauty before his very eyes. He felt a heat, that had nothing to do with the hot water, rise up through his body at just the sight of Ayame nude in front of him. He swallowed a lump in his throat that he had not known was even there.

"You were here first, Kouga. I can leave if you wish me too. I've been..." Ayame shook her head, reaching a hand up to wring water from her hair. "I've been doing a lot of thinking..." She paused, frowning lightly, but continued on.

"You have things that are important to you, and I have things that are important to me. I think we can both be mature enough to act like adults and not like children. Regardless of whatever else happens, we should remain friends so the peace between our packs will remain the same. Don't you think?"

He nodded mutely, not trusting his voice at the moment until he was successful in swallowing that damn lump in his throat.

"I have been doing a lot of thinking lately too..." he nodded again, not taking his eyes from her. She already knew he was looking over her appreciatively, so there was no point in hiding his face.

"I know you were not expecting me to be here when you got back from your small trip farther north, but your Grandfather asked me to come back not too soon after I had left. We have actually ironed out a few of the remaining details between the other packs to keep peace. You are getting what you have always wanted - peace among the packs," He said, trying to focus on what he wanted to tell her instead of what his subconscious wanted to do to her.

"But on a side note I wanted to clear a few things with you, on a more personal level. You have to bear with me Ayame, I am not a diplomat. I'm used to beating people into submission, and them obeying my commands. Its been the ways of my father and my fathers father, so this whole atmosphere of peace and democracy is new to me," He shrugged his shoulders.

"I still have many things to accomplish. And while it has gone mainly unspoken between us. I wanted to revoke the betrothal between you and I," Kouga paused a few breaths to re-gather his thoughts, trying very hard not to express jealousy or anger at himself.

"It just is not fair to keep you bound to me, when I have other pressing obligations that may be the end of my life. It's been close to over a year now that my brethren have been slaughtered and even though I made the promise to you first, I still don't think it is fair to keep you bound to that promise if I have the chance of not making it," He paused again, looking into her crystal like glowing green eyes.

His heart started aching, just at the sight of her. He did not want to do this, but it was for the best.

"The choice is ultimately up to you, but, I do not want to tell you that I will redeem the promise I made you, when right after wards I could be killed by Naraku. That would not be fair to you, or to the possible pups we would gain in our mating. They deserve both parents active in their life. I would know... I never was able to know my mother." That was when he finally took his eyes from hers, and cast his gaze towards the water he was sitting in, watching the ripples expand around his body.

"My mother died soon after I was born. She was killed by the Birds of Paradise, trying to protect me from their razor sharp talons," He paused again, another breath, another moment of silence between them. Thoughts ran rampant through his head, and finally he rose from his position in the water. His ice blue eyes meeting the jade of her green irises.

His chest swelling with pride and confidence, standing before Ayame in his naked glory. He had not been sure, but the water in the spring was deeper than the river. His lower half was still cloaked by the hot water of the springs, the peaks of his hips was the skin that got lapped at by the water in its small rippling waves from his movement. His wet black hair clung to the skin of his chest and back, even as he stood before her proudly, making him appear like a wet and warm, tanned statue.

"I will kill Naraku. But there in lies my problem, I don't want to be bound to someone if there are no guarantees that I will return back home alive. It's that simple. I couldn't tell you this before because I wasn't sure how to go about it, but there..." He spat the last two words. "I told you."

There were so many thoughts swimming through her head, so many painful memories each more sorrowful than the next. She bit her lip, closing her eyes as she turned her face away from him.

She understood what he was saying, but it wasn't enough. In her deepest of hearts, she knew he was right. She wouldn't want to do the same thing to him if she were in his place, but then it broke her heart all the same. He was trying to protect her, by giving her freedom, by taking back the promise and everything that had come with it. She understood his logic behind it, and even a small part of her could be grateful for that little bit of concern and compassion from him.

But it still didn't make the pain any less. It still cut through her in crippling force, and she realized that she couldn't do anything about it otherwise. It would be in the best interest for both of them to make a clean break from each other. They both had their duties, one to his pack's memory, and the other to her pack's future. But something about it all still seemed so very wrong in her heart.

She knew her heart longed to cling to him even when he was trying to be fair to her. Love could be stubborn sometimes...

"Peace..." She paused with a wistful smile. "You know that isn't the only thing I've always wanted. I just... we're just getting it in a different way than I had hoped for. I know it's for the good of everyone else, it's good for the packs, and for the future of a steady alliance between the clans..." She sighed, fighting back the tears that were beginning to burn behind her eyelids.

"I understand, Kouga, I really do," She said, finally looking at him once more.

For just a moment she hesitated, not sure if she could go on and do this. One thing she'd always grown up knowing was how important her duty to her pack really was. Kouga had his obligations, and she had hers. Something as trivial as her being in love wasn't enough to change that, no matter how much she might try to argue against the point.

She breathed out softly, silence passing between them for a few moments as she fought to keep herself steady, and to hide the shaking of her knees. He was so beautiful, standing there in front of her, the water rolling down his tanned and muscular body. She yearned for him so much, in so many ways. She wanted to feel his arms around her, keeping her safe and protected, she wanted to feel his warm skin against hers, knowing as long as he was with her she was safe. She wanted to take in his scent, roll it through her mind, just in case he was right... and he went off and never returned.

She swallowed the painful lump in her throat, blinking back with more force against the tears that she refused to let fall. She couldn't let him see her as weak, not now, not in front of him. Biting her bottom lip she tried to focus on that pain, trying to use it to anchor her thoughts.

"I know how important getting your vengeance is. I know how difficult it is for you... we lost many of our comrades as well. And we lost countless more fighting among ourselves," She started, choosing her words carefully. If she wasn't careful, she was going to lose it and break down completely.

"I love you Kouga, I really do. And it's only because of that love that I can even begin to do this. You're right. You have to do what is best for your pack, and I have to do what is best for my own. And as much as it breaks my heart to say it... maybe you're not what is best for me. You have no idea how hard this is for me, you can't possibly. I care for Mikhail, and spending time with him in the last few days has opened up my heart. Maybe... I can grow to love him like I love you now. Maybe in time, I can return his feelings for me."

She didn't want to make this harder than it had to, but she couldn't let him go so easily. She would let him revoke his promise, but he still held her heart. That would take time for her to get it back from him.

"My heart belongs to you, you already know that Kouga. But maybe, given time, when I get it back, I can give it to him. He cares for me, and wants me to be his mate if I will give him the chance. And I know it's the best decision to make. His kiss, though it was just a simple one, made me realize that," She glided through the water towards him, the steamy water rippling around her as she moved closer.

Before he could move away from her, or do or say anything more, she closed the distance between them and brought her arms up to wrap around him, hugging his warmth against her body. It didn't matter to her that she was nude, it didn't register to her mind that he was just as vulnerable. All that mattered was that she wanted to feel him in her arms... even for a few moments.

"I love you Kouga. I do, and a part of me always will."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


AN: To check out the cover art for "The Tattoo", specifically the image that inspired this story, please visit my fiancee's deviantArt page at the following link below. I want to thank YourouzokuAlpha for the time and patience put into this work. It's beautiful.

http://yourou.deviantart.com/#/d2qdp3f