Red Lotus

A/N: Yay, Maddie is updating. Let's see how long I can keep this up!

Side note: The last two weeks were hell. Finals. No sleep. Too much caffeine. Also, I have the worst cold. Therefor, I shall not be held responsible for any crazyness, mistakes or none sense you might find in this chapter!

Red Lotus

Chapter 8: The Providing

A gift; an act of giving something as a present.

The problem was, he never really gave anyone a gift. Not only that but he was fairly convinced that you needed a certain amount of knowledge about one's interests, likes and dislikes to give a gift. He did not know Kagome. They shared an apartment for quite a while now but he never found a reason why he should get to know her. As a matter of fact he was not entirely sure why he was giving her a gift. Perhaps it was because she spent most of her days with nothing to do. Leaving the house by herself was not yet an option and his apartment lacked entertainment. Her boredom began to affect him and it was mostly what pushed him to do this.

He did not know if she would enjoy his gift, though it was nothing much, but it was what he thought to be the best choice given what he knew about humans. Too bad it was not a lot.

Sesshomaru unlocked the apartment's door and walked in. Kagome sat on the couch, a remote in her hand and her eyes fixed on the television. When he made enough noise to be noticed, she raised her head. "Hey," she greeted.

He acknowledged her by nodding. He marched very seriously in her direction and once his brown leather suitcase was on the ground, he put the white plastic bag on the wooden table. She glanced at him, then at the bag and finally back at him.

"This is for you," he explained.

She jerked her head back and then attempted to smile. She looked at the bag for a moment before she leaned forward and carefully picked it up. She opened it and shoved a hand inside to retrieve the content. Her surprise only grew when she realized she was holding art supplies in her hand. There was a sketchbook and pencils and still left in the bags were markers, erasers and other kind of pencils.

"I assumed you were bored during the day." Assumed was not strong enough of a word but he figured she had no desire to know he felt her every emotions. Especially since he felt how much of a bother she thought she was sometimes.

Sparing her feelings and pride felt like the proper move.

"Tha- thank you," she stuttered.

Sesshomaru came and went most of the days. They rarely spoke and even when they shared the same space they did their own thing. Although she knew he watched out for her well being, she never thought he considered her boredom to be part of that.

She did not know the first thing about drawing and it was not something she practiced often but she did have a lot of time on her hands. Also, until she could leave the house her options were extremely limited.

"It's very kind of y-you."

Once again, he replied with a nod.

Then, it was the end of their little conversation. He retrieved his suitcase and sat down at the desk and she leaned back into the couch after putting her new gift beside her. It hardly mattered that he seemed cold or that he did not see himself as someone who had feelings - at least not like humans did. Sesshomaru was kinder than most people. She nearly chuckled at the thought. He might not see it that way but she did. The thought of picturing him in an art supplies store, trying to find something appropriate for her was enough to make her smile. Oh how out of place he must have looked. And she was certain none of the employees dared to approach him.

Her eyes went from the television, to the sketchbook. Perhaps she could try it now? She was not expecting herself to be very talented but it could be fun.

She crossed her legs and grabbed the sketchbook before putting it down on her lap. Not knowing which pencil size was better, she picked one at random. Kagome stared at the blank piece of paper in front of her and began to wonder. What could she possibly draw? Thinking, she began tapping the pencil on the edge of the sketchbook.

"You could draw your memories."

His suggestion took her by surprise. "My memories?"

"You often spoke sadly of the past, of the people you will never see again and the adventures you can no longer have."

Funny enough, if she tried to think about the feudal era, all that came to her mind was the well. It was the central point of it all; the reason she went there in the first place, the reason she could not return. Perhaps she could draw that. It did haunt her memories durings many nights.

"Thank you," she said before tightening her grip on her pencil.

As she began sketching, Sesshomaru observed her from the corner of his eye. She appeared to be rather determined to do this and it would keep her busy. After a few moments where it felt like he was spying on her, he looked away and he resumed his own work. If he was completely honest, he would admit that lately doing his work was harder than usual. Before her arrival in his life, he established a routine that he followed every day. He did the exact same thing every day since he began this cover of a human life and he never thought twice about it. Life had been worse, especially during the transitions, and this was simply a boring chunk of time to go through.

However, now that she was here, it was slightly different.

First of all, she completely destroyed his routine, not that he was issuing a complaint, and she filled his days with activities and talk and human contact of sorts. This was not the life he used to lead. Now, when it was time to doing pointless, mindless tasks like he was now, he found it aggravating. Having someone else in his bubble of a life took him back to times where he did not serve humans behind a counter, where he did not fill in countless paperwork only to earn minimum wage. He also recalled the times when he owned those lands.

Once in a while, he would feel like this. Most times it faded away rather quickly. Now he found it unnerving. He did not know if it was caused by his own feelings alone or he was influenced by her; it messed with his mind and he did not like it.

Perhaps it was only him. After all, did she not peaceful sit on the couch? Then again, she was human and emotions were natural for her and she seemed to be a more sensitive human being than most. It could not be ignored that the stronger she got, the stronger their small connection was. She did have powers of her own… powers that clashed with his greatly. Mikos mating youkais was not a common occurrence and he did wonder if it would end badly if it was a real mating. Most mikos were weak and probably overpower by the youkis of strong youkais but she was the miko of the shikon no tama.

Again, it was information he did not need to know. Why did he allow himself to be distracted by such foolishness?

Sesshomaru cleared his throat and once again attempted to resume his work.

Meanwhile, Kagome sketched away. Her lines were awkward but she was determined to get it right. She only had to think about the well to picture it clearly in her mind. If she closed her eyes she could even recall the feeling of the old wood beneath her fingertips. Minutes turned into hours and she was still crouched up on the couch sketching away. The only thing that broke her out of her trance was Sesshomaru. Once he noticed the time going by and the fact that she did not eat yet today, he made her food. He knew she was quite forgetful when it came down to her hunger.

She offered him a small smile before putting down the sketchbook and pencil.

Kagome did not feel hungry but since Sesshomaru was strongly hinting that she should eat, she imagined that quite some time went by since her last meal. She took the bowl of soup and the spoon and slowly began eating. Meanwhile, Sesshomaru found himself staring at her drawing. He did not know what to expect when it came down to her drawing talents but he did not expect this. She was not bad.

"I'm just dood-ling," she hurried to say.

"It is good."

"O-h," she replied, taken back. "Thank you."

He offered her a nod and then left her alone to eat.

Every day she spent with him, she was more and more puzzled by him. She would never figure out Sesshomaru. Although that did not mean she was not curious. He already explained that he was not one to feel much and she totally believed him. However, that brought forward many questions.

"May I as-k something?" she dared.

"Yes," he replied, never lifting his gaze.

"Why don't you feel? I mean Inuyasha did, Kouga also did. E-ven Naraku was fuelled by rage."

"I do feel," he clarified. It was not as if he never experienced emotions. They were especially stronger in the past; greed, pride. Obviously he rarely let them ever control him but he did feel those emotions. "Inuyoukais are calmer by nature. Inuyasha's human blood made him more… hot headed."

"Your father was like y-you?"

"He was." Until Izayoi. "One day however, he found something he decided was worth his emotions."

Perhaps Sesshomaru could have been more emotional but his years - actually centuries - alone did not help that. Not that he saw a need in feelings; they only clouded one's judgment. He firmly believed that is lack of emotional reaction helped him live through this human era. If he had a bit more temper and the same intolerance as before he was sure he would have committed quite a few murders by now.

"Don't you feel like you're miss-ing something?"

"What would I be missing?"

"Need, love, devotion."

"I care for those who are important to me in my own ways."

The one word that came to Kagome's mind was Rin. She never doubted that he cared for that little girl and he did rescue her once in the past - same with Inuyasha. Maybe he felt more than he realized but his lack of understanding of the subject made him think he had no feelings? Still, she chose to remain silent about that. After all, it was none of her business how he wanted to live his life. Her curiosity simply got the best of her.

She nodded, even though he could not see her, and then she diverted her attention elsewhere.

Kagome would not find someone to tell her how to deal with this emptiness inside her.

-R-

The next morning, Kagome got out of her room again very early compared to before. She was two for two so far. Since it was saturday, Sesshomaru was home. She found him sitting on the couch, browsing through the different TV channels.

"Your mother called to invite you over," he said as she walked by him.

"Invite me?" she asked, confused. Would it not be simpler if her mother came over?

"It is your brother's birthday."

Souta's birthday? Already? Ever since she went to the hospital, she completely stopped keeping track of the days and that did not change when she started living with Sesshomaru. She sunk her teeth in her bottom lip and fisted her hands uncomfortably. At the moment, she felt like a terrible sister. How did she forget! Although, it hardly mattered, it was not as if she could go… she could not drive or really take the bus on her own. She could ask Sesshomaru but…did she not ask enough of him already?

"Oh. Right," she quietly said.

That was all she said. Then, she sat down beside him on the couch which baffled him.

"Do you require the phone?"

"No."

And he did not ask why.

Curiosity was probably not one of his traits but it did make her edgy. She rubbed her foot together and pinched her lips. "I can't d-rive," she answered even though he did not inquire.

"I can drive you," he simply stated.

"I don't wa-nt to bother you."

"I am not doing anything at the moment. It would not interfere with my schedule." When she did not ask for a ride, he assumed she did not want to go.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded.

"Thank you."

She put her legs against her chest and wrapped her arms around them before resting her head on her knees. For a while, she never thought she would see her brother grow up. She remembered having a few conversations with him when they laid together in her hospital bed and he would tell her about what he wanted to do, who he wanted to become. Now, she would be there to witness it. Next year though, she would not forget his birthday.

As she thought about the food and the cake her mother would make, a realization dawned upon her; she was rude to Sesshomaru. She did not even invite him. Granted she was absolutely certain he would refuse, inviting him was the polite thing to do. She shifted her glance until she was looking at him. He was still looking through the channels, clearly not finding something that would hold his interest.

"Would you like to come? Not just dd-rive me I mean.""

"Your mother invited me to attend if you chose to be present for the festivities."

Right. Obviously her mother would have already done that. "Oh." She squirmed. "What did you say?"

His initial intention was to politely refuse the invitation. Kagome may be his mate and wife in names but this was certainly not the kind of relationship that involved him spending time with her family. However, Kagome's mother had the girl's old stubbornness. Before he even had a chance to refuse, she was already pleading and coming up with many reasons why he should be one of the guests for the evening. Considering the fact that the woman was polite with him and showed understanding while he tried to be true to his obligation, he concluded that refusing her would be rather rude and impolite.

"I thanked her and accepted her offer."

Kagome blinked and then, an incredulous look appeared in her eyes. "You want to spend ti-me with my family?"

"Your mother was rather insistent." It was not in a bad or pushy way. The woman felt bad he was taking care of her daughter and she wanted some way to show her gratitude. It was a trait many humans shared.

Her shoulders dropped and her chin tilted down. He felt forced. "She wants to say tha-nk you."

"I am aware. I do not mind attending."

Food was not a necessity and he did not need the company. Nonetheless, it was an activity. His life was rather sheltered and he was fairly sure her family was better company than the people he was forced to endure at work. They did come from a long line of Mikos and Monks; at least they were honourable.

Kagome smiled. "I know my mother will be ha-ppy."

It was true that it was rather difficult to find something to do to thank Sesshomaru. Homemade meals were no help since he did not even need to eat. He was not a messy person and did not need help cleaning either. Also, he rarely did anything and he did not seem to have any hobbies; giving him a gift would be very difficult. Maybe her mother thought he was lonely? He did feel lonely sometimes… or what was it again she felt that time? Insecurity. She never asked him about it and she did not have any intentions to. Somehow, she felt he would not appreciate her question.

Nonetheless, he sort of became a part of their family when he mated and married her. Since he did not seem to have any family left and did not have friends she knew her mother would like to provide him with that. Granted he was probably not someone who was looking for that sort of thing but… who knew. He might find it tolerable. Plus, he said yes, did he not? It had to mean it did not bother him that much.

"We can leave whenever you are ready."

Right. They might only be going to her house but she doubted pyjamas were a proper attire. "I shouldn't be to-o long."

He nodded. "Would it be acceptable for you to remain alone in the apartment while you change?"

She frowned. "Yes." Where was he going?

"Very well."

Sesshomaru stood up and grabbed his keys. "I will return in a few minutes," he said before leaving her alone.

She blinked, her lips pinched. Sesshomaru never went anywhere, except to work and to go groceries shopping for her. Where did he need to go? Asking would be a solution but she would not pry. He did not involve himself in her life and she would not involve herself in his. They were not that kind of relationship. She sighed before slowly making her way to her bedroom. Her steps were steadier and she sweated less during her normal every day activities. It did make it easier for her to get around and she relied less and less on Sesshomaru which she was certain he appreciated.

Once she was in her bedroom, sitting on her bed to recover, she realized she did not really have clothes. She had that nice dress Sesshomaru bought her but it was tad bit overdoing it. Everything else was casual. There was nothing wrong with that though something nice would have been good too. Although, it was not as if she could pull off something nice right now. She exhaled loudly and once more, it came out as a wheezing sound. She grabbed a pair of jeans and a blue long sleeve shirt. She laid them out beside her before undressing. As per usual, it was a bit of a struggle; her arms did not recover their strength as much as her legs did.

After struggling and grunting for a while, she managed to get dress. Perhaps she should be grateful she did not have to do her hair. She bitterly chuckled at herself and gave one big push to make it on her feet. From the lack of noises coming from the other side of the door, she could tell Sesshomaru was not back yet. She suppressed her curiosity and decided to wait for him on the couch.

Instead of comfortably slouching on the couch, she stood rather too straight up. A mix of excitement and nervousness filled her stomach. She was happy to see her whole family; after all, she did not see Souta or her grandpa ever since she got out of the hospital. It was not like she did not want to see them… she simply had no desire to have them see her in this state. She was better now though, so… it was good. It would be fine. This time, she would not have to look into Souta's sad eyes. The look in his eyes when he first learned she had cancer broke her heart. After a while, she did not even want him to visit her at the hospital. He try to come anyway but her mother convinced him to stay home.

She did not want him to watch her die.

Now he did not have to.

Her grandfather was a whole other story though. Even if she was certain he was pleased she was alive and thankful to Sesshomaru for what he did… he still did not like youkais. Hopefully he evolved past the throwing sand at youkai stage or else Sesshomaru was in for a… delightful surprise.

The sound of the apartment door opening made her jump. Sesshomaru leaned forward, hiding part of his body with the door. "Are you ready?"

She nodded.

She stood up and slowly followed him. When they got to the stairs, she stopped for a moment and he turned back to look at her.

"Do you need assistance?"

He helped her downstairs when they went to the charity event. Actually, he almost carried her. Not today. She swallowed hard while she shook her head. Her feet were shaking but she approached the steps nonetheless. She clutched her hands around the ramp and then took the first step down. He watched her closely but did not intervene which she appreciated. Her arms shook while she slowly made her way down all the stairs. At the end, she was covered in a thin layer of sweat. She inhaled as best she could in an attempt to catch her breath and then, she nodded at Sesshomaru.

Once he confirmed she was steady and fine, he moved along. He made sure she followed closely behind him and then, he opened the car door for her and waited. If she did not want any help with the stairs, he imagined she did not want any help getting in the car.

Kagome looked discouraged as she stared at the car. Her bottom lip wobbled while she was exhausted simply thinking about all the effort she was about to do. Walking around in the apartment and climbing was two very different things. Perhaps she needed to re consider her work out routine. She grabbed on to the edge of the seat and grunted while she pushed herself up. She gapped for air once or twice but she managed to sit down.

He closed the door behind her and went to his own seat. She might not know but she was an open book at the moment. Her emotions were vividly radiating through her aura; she felt pride. He did not recall her ever feeling that way ever since her arrival in his life. She was sweaty, breathless and probably a bit tired and yet she was proud of herself. He did not realize that such trivial things could bring someone such pride. Perhaps he should take her out more. Although she did not seem comfortable in public settings…but they could find more private places. He was not one for activities but… if it helped her, he could do it.

The ride to the shrine was silent. He was unable to determine if it was because she was tired, nervous or simply did not wish to talk. Whatever the reason, it did not concern him and frankly he had no problem with silence. He had a feeling there would be no silence during the evening.

Since there was no traffic, they arrived there rather quickly. Purposefully, Sesshomaru took his time to get out of the car. He did not want her to feel rushed or pressured. She did not seem to notice since she focused all of her attention on getting out. And she managed to do it. Just like she managed to do everything else today. He got out once she opened the door and waited by her side.

"Are you sure about this? You d-on't have to come."

"I am here."

It was not really an answer and it did not really tell her if he did want to be there but… if he did not voice any objections…she would not speak about it any longer.

They barely reached the door that it opened. Kagome's mother stared at them with a smile on her face. Simply seeing her daughter out and walking was enough to bring tears to her eyes. She did her best to look unaffected but it was difficult. The sight of her daughter near death in a hospital bed would be a hard image to forget but those moments like right now… they helped. There was no need for that ache in her heart, there was no need for sleepless night, there was no need for tears. Kagome was alive and healthy.

"Welcome," she managed to say with a steady voice.

"Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Higurashi," he politely replied.

"You're family. You are always welcomed here." He was still a stranger to her and Kagome and him would most likely go their own way eventually but he would always be the one who gave a second life to her daughter. No matter what or who he was, she would always be there to return the favour.

He nodded, unable to say anything else to her comment. They were strangers. They were not his family. Again, he remained polite. The woman tried to thank him for his action towards his daughter, though she did not need to, and he would accept her gesture.

Miyu greeted her daughter next. She leaned forward and brought her into an embrace. Kagome returned the hug, a smile on her face. Her mother was happy to see her out and about. Sometimes, Kagome let herself get so wrapped up in her lack of fast progress, that she forgot she was making progress regardless of the speed of it. Now, she could see it through her mother's eyes. She looked forward to the day her mother would not be so concern about her health. After all, from now on, Kagome could hardly ever get sick again.

"Come in, come in," her mother said as she pulled away.

Kagome and Sesshomaru followed her inside. The shrine had a few balloons but nothing else. It was just a family dinner though Kagome also assumed her mother had yet to get back on her feet after spending so much money on hospital bills. That did not help with the guilt. Maybe - they were busy or maybe her mother chose to spend more on a gift for her brother…

"Kagome!"

As soon as Souta spotted his sister, he came running in her direction. However, he came to a halt once he was in front of her. He had yet to see her healthy and standing on her own two feet. He almost looked unsure, as if he did not know if he could hug her without hurting her. To break the tension, she took a step forward and hugged him. His face was buried in her shoulder and after a moment, she felt her shirt getting wet; he was crying. Her features saddened and she grabbed his face with her hands, pulling him away from her.

"Souta, I'm okay."

"I know." He wiped away any evidence of his tears and forced himself to put a smile on his face. "I missed you."

"I missed yo-ou too. And Happy Birthday," she said before ruffling his hair.

For the first time since he came into the living room, Souta looked at Sesshomaru. She imagined her mother told him a little about what happened, about who Sesshomaru was but she did not know the full extend of his knowledge. He awkwardly approached Sesshomaru who remained as still as a statue. They stared at each other for a moment, never exchanging a single word.

Then, Souta broke the silence. "Thank you."

When Souta was still young, Kagome began time traveling which took her away from him a bit. Then, when she was back home for good, and devastated about it, she fell ill which almost took her away from them permanently. He was not completely sure how but this man was the reason his sister was alive and that was good enough for him. Plus, he was Inuyasha's brother and Souta always worshipped Inuyasha. He could not be a bad person.

Sesshomaru offered a slight bow and immediately stood back straight.

"Youkai!"

At the sound of her grandfather's voice, Kagome cringed. This was not good.

"Father."

Miyu's warning was enough to stop grandpa. He came to an immediate halt and waited with a hand, full of beige powder, up in the air.

"Sesshomaru is our guest."

Grandpa grumbled, clearly not convinced before he sighed. He tossed the powder away and walked towards the kitchen while Kagome held back the urge to sigh of relief. She knew Sesshomaru was polite and did not have Inuyasha's temper but you could never be too careful especially since her grandpa had a tendency of making strong impressions on people.

She dared to look at Sesshomaru who was staring at the empty spot where her grandfather used to be. His perfect eyebrow was arched but he did not seem angry - he mostly appeared to be intrigued? At least she hoped.

"Who's hungry?" Miyu asked while holding a bowl of rice.

She did not know what kind of food to make since Kagome's progress were hard to follow so she made a little bit of everything. She also was not sure Sesshomaru would eat but she made enough for everyone.

Once they reached the table, Sesshomaru did an unexpected gesture. Before Kagome even had time to grab her chair, he pulled it out for her. She froze for a second, her eyes a bit squinted, before thanking them and sitting down. He took a seat beside her, never looking at her again. She held back a little laugh; Sesshomaru's politeness and manners could almost be mistaken for romantic gestures.

Miyu went around giving everybody a plate but once she got to Sesshomaru she paused. "Will you be eating as well?"

"Yes, thank you," he said while he took the plate from her. It would seem rather rude if he sat down at the table with everybody else but did not indulge in some of the food.

Everybody ate, although Sesshomaru and Kagome looked like they were only nibbling, while Souta chatted everyone's ears off. Kagome participated in the conversation quite often but Sesshomaru kept his involvement to nods. She could tell he was slightly out of his comfort zone but she said nothing; he already said he was here to stay and she would not put him on the spot by asking him in front of everybody if he wanted to leave. She did turn her head to look and smile at him a few times though.

Once dinner was over, Miyu cleared the table alone, despite everyone's attempt to help. Once she was done, it was time for the cake. Miyu held in her hand a strawberry shortcake while everybody, except Sesshomaru, sang happy birthday. Kagome did not have enough breath to shout which led to her grandfather's voice being the one everyone heard the most - unfortunately.

Souta made a wish, blew the candles and everybody clapped.

"Time from presents," Kagome's grandpa said while Miyu cut a piece of cake for everyone.

He handed a pile of paper to Souta with a big smile on his face.

Unsure, Souta took it from him. "Thanks grandpa."

"Don't you wanna know what it is?"

Kagome kept her lips pinched; whatever it was, she had a feeling it was not what Souta hoped to receive for his birthday.

"What is it?"

"Sutras! Now you can begin your own collection! It'll be important for you when you're a monk."

"Grandpa, I'm not going to be a monk"

"Nonsense, you're the first born male heir. The shrine goes to you!"

"Why can't Kagome have it? She's the one with the power stuff…I just wanna play soccer!"

"Kagome is married to a youkai! She can't run a holy shrine."

Eyebrows were arched all around. Miyu on the other hand was almost glaring. "Which we are thankful for…" her grandpa added.

"How about we open another present?" Miyu asked as she tried to break the awkward tension that was building.

"Yes, please."

She smiled as she reached out behind her and picked up her gift for him. She put it down on the table and waited for him to open it. Souta tore throw the paper rapidly and then, grinned and jumped up in excitement. "The new game console!" He held it out proudly and his eyes doubled in size. "Thanks mom!" He put the gift down and then threw his arms around his mother. "Thank you."

As Souta detached himself from his mother, Sesshomaru got up. He sneaked his hand in his jacket and pulled out an envelope. Under everyone's shocked expression, he handed it to Souta.

Souta pulled a birthday card from the envelope and opened it. It did not say much, it was not personal, funny or anything but it was a card. Inside, he found a gift card for a video game store.

"Kagome has mentioned your interest for this sort of activities. We thought you would enjoy this gift."

Kagome tried to keep a neutral expression but his sentence kept repeating in her head. We. He was saying that they both bought this. She had nothing to do with the gift. That was what Sesshomaru did earlier? He went to pick up a gift for her brother? And he actually listened when she talked about non-sense? Sometimes, she had a feeling he only let her talk to not upset her.

"Thank you." He shook Sesshomaru's hand to thank him and hugged his sister.

Once Sesshomaru sat back down, it was Kagome's turn to express her gratitude. "You didn't have to do th-at," she whispered.

"It was my belief that you would have been upset if you did not give your brother a gift."

She would have felt bad, yes. "Thank you, Sesshoma-ru. It was very kind of you."

He did involve himself in her life more than he should have. He did it to ensure she would spend a good evening. He believed that would help her recover faster. Those were the only reasons. He did have to live with her and feel her emotions from time to time. He would rather feel her happiness than her depression.

Kagome reached out for his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. The gesture came naturally and she did not even think about it… until she released his hand.

Feeling a bit awkward, she rose to her feet as fast as her body allowed her and joined her mother and brother in their celebration and hugs. Meanwhile, Sesshomaru stared at them. He ignored the little twitch in his hand and gave them his complete attention.

So this was a family.

Interesting.

-R-