Take Another Breath

Hikari sat on a bench, watching the fish that swam aimlessly around the pond just a few feet in front of her. Silently, a figure with long silver hair walked up behind her. Had it not been for the sun casting their shadow on the ground where it was visible to her, she would never have known they were there.

Moments of stillness and silence reigned, yet it was not an awkward silence. And it was soon broken.

"Hikari."

Hikari made not a move for several breathless moments, then she slowly turned her head, looking over her shoulder at the figure. What the person saw in her eyes, and the expression on her face, which was paler than usual, made them step back.

"..Stay where you are, Inuyasha. For if you come any closer, the fates of several lives shall be changed in a heartbeat.. and all will end in sorrow. You hear this from the lips of a Seer, not those of the simple girl who would seek the comfort available in your arms."

Inuyasha growled, his hands clenching into tight fists.

"I don't care anymore. I'm going to listen to my heart for once. Damn your warnings, Hikari. I'd sacrifice myself a thousand times just to spend a day in happiness with you."

With a smile, she rose from the bench and turned, then ran towards him, tears of joy in her eyes.

Arms encased in billowing red material came around her, furry ears twitching happily.

The scene changed: Months had passed, and their surroundings were vastly different. A small village in the countryside, where beneath a tree sat a very pregnant Hikari, leaning back against a beaming Inuyasha who had his clawed hands resting lightly on her swollen belly.

Yet again, the image shifted. Hikari, eyes wide with fright, was obliterated by an arrow encased in blindingly pink light. Kagome, who had fired it, was struck down by an anguished Inuyasha. Kouga disposed of the hanyou with but a single blow, before cradling the limp form of Kagome in his arms as he sobbed. The village went up in flames. And silhouetted by the roaring inferno, was the unmistakable form of Sesshoumaru.

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With a pained cry, Hikari bolted upright, her eyes wide with fear. Realizing that she had only been reliving the vision she'd gotten when Inuyasha attempted to comfort her, she heaved a deep sigh of relief, then looked up at the sky. The stars had faded, the moon had fallen out of sight, and the empty blackness was slowly fading into grey. Dawn was swift approaching. Gathering her kimono in her hands, Hikari turned to look up at the facade of the keep, searching for the balcony of the room she knew to be the one where Sesshoumaru had taken them, not even two days ago. Forcing herself not to think on this, she leapt nimbly up to the balcony when she found it, and went inside. Much as Sesshoumaru's rejection of her, and the vision that had plagued her all night, made her want to lock herself in the room and cry, she had to at least make it seem like she wasn't miserable.

A hot bath made her feel a bit better. Getting out of the kimono that was so like Sesshoumaru's haori helped even more. Pulling her hair back in a tight braid which she secured with a dark green ribbon, she quickly sought out a pale green kimono, with obi and slippers that matched the ribbon in her hair. Though she again longed for hakama and haori, or even the clothes to which she had accustomed herself in the present - or rather, the future now, she reminded herself - she knew her place was now as Lady of the Western Lands, mate of the fearsome inu-taiyoukai Sesshoumaru, and she must look the part.

No matter how much she was dying on the inside.

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The day passed quickly. Much faster than Hikari thought it would, in fact. Due to the state of her mind, and indeed her very heart and soul, she had been sure the day would drag by, with her struggling every moment to keep everyone from seeing just how distressed she was. Inuyasha knew, of course, but he hadn't said anything to the others, for which she was eternally grateful. Jiro had joined them for breakfast, just as he had promised he would, and Hikari invited him to again join them for dinner, which he gladly accepted. If the others thought it strange that she seemed to be trying to forge a friendship with the guard, they said nothing, but Miroku at least seemed to understand that she was hoping to still have a companion when they had all departed.

Most of the rest of the day was spent with the three women, and Rin of course, out in the gardens, planning Sango's wedding. Rin was thrilled to be invited, and was even asked to participate. This sent her flying out of the gardens, bouncing excitedly and exclaiming that she must see the seamstress about a new kimono for the occasion, which sent Sango, Kagome, and Hikari into fits of laughter. Hikari was relieved to realize that she still had some joy left in her, and found that she had been so preoccupied, she hadn't even spared a thought towards her misery.

Lunch was a quiet picnic in the gardens, during which everyone dozed off in the peacefulness. All except Hikari and, unbeknownst to her, Inuyasha. After seeing that the others were all seemingly napping, she crept off to another part of the gardens. After what he considered an appropriate amount of time, Inuyasha rose and followed.

Hikari sat on a bench, watching the fish that swam aimlessly around the pond just a few feet in front of her. Silently, a figure with long silver hair walked up behind her. Had it not been for the sun casting their shadow on the ground where it was visible to her, she would never have known they were there.

Moments of stillness and silence reigned, yet it was not an awkward silence. And it was soon broken.

"Hikari."

Hikari made not a move for several breathless moments, then she slowly turned her head, looking over her shoulder at Inuyasha. What he saw in her eyes, and the expression on her face, which was paler than usual, made him step back.

"..Stay where you are, Inuyasha. For if you come any closer, the fates of several lives shall be changed in a heartbeat.. and all will end in sorrow. You hear this from the lips of a Seer, not those of the simple girl who would seek the comfort available in your arms."

Inuyasha growled, his hands clenching into tight fists.

"I don't care anymore. I'm going to listen to my heart for once. Damn your warnings, Hikari. I'd sacrifice myself a thousand times just to spend a day in happiness with you."

This was it. This was the moment of choice. Hikari could damn herself, Inuyasha, Kagome, Kouga, and Sesshoumaru, all with a simple word.. a simple act. Would she dare? Would she take a few months of happiness, in exchange for the destruction of those she knew and loved? This fork in the path of her life was never supposed to happen, but Inuyasha's stubbornness proved to be an unfortunate obstacle.

Rising from the bench, Hikari folded her hands into the sleeves of her kimono and turned to face Inuyasha. It was hard to make herself show nothing towards her friend, who wore a look of such determination and hope. What she did next nearly destroyed her inside all over again.

"I, Lady Hikari of the Western Lands, mate of Lord Sesshoumaru, do command that you, the hanyou Inuyasha, are to leave the Hall of the West immediately. Until such time as I, or my mate, decide you may return, you will not come within two leagues of this keep, on pain of imprisonment." Hikari fought back tears at the look that came across Inuyasha's face. She knew without a doubt she had just broken his heart, and silently her own cried out for him not to hate her, that this was best for everyone. "You may make your farewells to the others, and explain if you wish: If you do not, I shall. Kagome may go with you, should she so desire. Otherwise, she is welcome to remain here as long as she likes. ..Forgive me, Inuyasha. You know not what you would have done."

Inuyasha stared at Hikari in a mixture of awe and despair. At that moment, she looked every inch Sesshoumaru's equal, and a true Lady of the Western Lands. Looking utterly defeated, he turned and trudged back to their friends, who were still blissfully sleeping the afternoon away, unaware of the near catastrophe that had just passed. Once Inuyasha had turned the corner, Hikari's legs gave out from beneath her, and she collapsed to the grass, burying her face in its cool freshness as she cried. Life seemed determined to beat her at every pass. She was more than ready to give up.

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Less than an hour later, Hikari, Shippou, Rin, Kagome, Sango, and Miroku stood in the doorway of the keep, watching as Inuyasha passed the great walls that protected the grounds of the Hall of the West. As the gates were slowly closed behind him, Inuyasha stopped to look back with sad resignation clear on his face. Then he was shut off from sight.

Everyone had been quite surprised when Inuyasha roused them and said he had to leave. Reluctant to explain, an enraged Kagome immediately went searching for Hikari, followed by everyone else. When they found the kitsune in such a sorry state, her face wet with tears and her eyes rimmed in red, Kagome's anger disappeared. It rose again once Hikari mournfully explained why she was forced to order Inuyasha to leave, about the vision that had scared her so badly and that it had almost come to pass, but this time, it was aimed at Inuyasha. Even Miroku looked at him with disappointment, and Shippou was downright livid.

Melancholy silence surrounded the remaining party when they all truly realized that Inuyasha was really gone. It was broken when Hikari turned and wandered back inside, the others trailing behind and watching her worriedly. Paying them no mind, she went up the staircase and into her room, where she undressed and burrowed deep into the nest of fabrics where she had last been so happy. The scent of Sesshoumaru lingered, tickling her nostrils, and eliciting a fresh bout of tears.

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Three months went by, and the day came when Kagome, Sango, and Miroku had to leave. Sango and Miroku's wedding was almost entirely planned, and would be held in one year at Kaede's village. Hikari hugged them all and promised to be there, with Shippou and Rin, and Jiro as her 'guard'. Truthfully, the young youkai had befriended the whole group, and was honored with an invitation from the bride-to-be herself just days before.

Standing once again in the door of her vast home, Hikari watched as her friends walked away from her. She managed a final smile and lifted her hand in a wave of farewell, and then they were gone. The mask she had forced herself to wear the past three months melted away in an instant, and she turned away. Into the hall, and back through the keep, out to the gardens which were slowly fading from the brilliance of high summer to the approaching autumn. There, beneath the shedding boughs of the sakura tree, she laid herself down and cried. For though she had Rin, Shippou, and Jiro to keep her company, she felt so alone.

All this time, Hikari had kept up that wall between herself and Sesshoumaru, and it had begun to exhaust her. He was incessantly prying at it, trying to break through, but she would have none of it. In the end, her sheer stubbornness and strength of will had kept her from giving in. She had become frightfully thin due to lack of eating, and had slept hardly at all, so that she looked quite worrisome; her skin was too tight across her bones, there were deep hollows in her cheeks, and dark shadows beneath her eyes.

But now, as she lay on the cool grass and watched the day pass her by, she felt the trials of the past months truly taking their toll on her. The sun had barely reached its highest point in the sky when her eyes fell shut, and darkness wrapped her mind firmly in its depths.

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Hundreds of miles away, Sesshoumaru was barely aware that the barrier, which had halted his attempts to check up on his mate for the past months, was now gone. Halfway listening to the Lord of the East arguing with the Lord of the South over borders, he mentally traveled along the link between himself and Hikari. It had grown weak, and was fragile as a strand of spider's silk; once it had been strong as a mountain, but her refusal to acknowledge it, and him, had all but destroyed it.

Expecting the barrier to still be in place, Sesshoumaru habitually stopped just as he came to where it had been located. But something seemed different. Furrowing his brow and probing a bit further along the bond, he realized in a flash what the difference was. The barrier was gone. In a rush, he sped past it and to the core of Hikari's self, his beast within growling softly in apology and comfort. Little did the great Lord of the West know that he had been growling aloud as well, and the other three Lords were now peering at him curiously, wondering why their golden-eyed companion looked so intense.

Moments of silence passed, and there was no reply from Hikari. Wondering if she was just ignoring him, Sesshoumaru carefully examined the dimly pulsing light that was Hikari's life force, and became still as stone. There was a heartbeat, but it was faint; no response when he mentally whispered her name, or growled; and most importantly, no emotion.

Fear wrapped its cold fist around the heart of the Lord of the West, and squeezed tightly. For the first time, Sesshoumaru truly knew what it was to be afraid. Rising to his feet so fast that he knocked over his chair, he gripped the edge of the table till his knuckles turned white and leaned forward, staring at the Lords of the East and South. They recoiled, wondering what had happened to make the stoic Sesshoumaru so enraged. The Lord of the North was just glad that anger wasn't aimed at him, and was the only one who had the courage to speak as Sesshoumaru glared.

"Sesshoumaru.. is something amiss?"

Those golden eyes shot to the tiger taiyoukai, who immediately wished he had just kept his mouth shut. That cold glare was enough to make him want to turn tail and run for his life.

"..Amiss? What would give you that impression, Ichiiro?" It was uncommon to hear anything other than bluntness from Sesshoumaru, so the three Lords were almost as shocked by the sarcasm from the inu-taiyoukai as his apparently having emotion. But the Lord of the North was forgotten, as Sesshoumaru looked over at the temporarily silenced hawk and dragon taiyoukai; the Lords of the East and South. "This Sesshoumaru thinks it would be most wise if the two of you would stop bickering and sign the treaty. This council has gone on long enough."

That did not at all please the two Lords, who turned from fighting with each other to argue with Sesshoumaru. Before they could even speak, a red light leapt into his eyes, washing away the gold entirely, as his growl deepened ominously; his claws became longer and sharper, cracking the sturdy wooden table as though it were but a twig, splinters flying everywhere. There was no mistaking his intention; if they didn't agree now, he would not hesitate to kill them.

The treaty was signed quickly, witnessed by Sesshoumaru and Ichiiro, and made official with the seals of all four Lords. As he was leaving the Hall of the East, Ichiiro came running after the silent Sesshoumaru, who was still worried, frightened, and angry, but keeping it all well in check and hidden. "Sesshoumaru!"

Sesshoumaru cast his eyes over to the tiger, but didn't stop. He had no intention of stopping until he had reached Hikari's side. "Whatever you have to say, Ichiiro, I suggest you say it quickly. This Sesshoumaru has been from his mate for far too long."

That stopped Ichiiro in his tracks for a moment. Then he was at Sesshoumaru's side again, utterly bewildered. "Mate? Sesshoumaru, when did you take a mate?"

"The very night before I received the summons to this ridiculous council. Something is wrong, and I must return to her now." Before Ichiiro could utter another word, Sesshoumaru had taken to his cloud and was speeding off into the sunset. Within moments, he was out of sight. Thinking on the information he'd received, he soon turned and went back into the Hall of the East. The other Lords must know of this.. interesting turn of events.