Damned If You Do

Chapter 8 Hi’Iki and Hana





Rin put her hands on Sesshoumaru’s chest and gave a gentle push.

“What?”

“You’re armor. It makes it difficult to give you a descent hug,” Rin explained. She looked up at Sesshoumaru. Her face was tear stained; her eyes were red from crying. Yet she had the most beautiful smile on her face.

‘All because of me,’ Sesshoumaru thought. He reached out and gently wiped the tear streaks away. “Let’s go home.”

He started walking through the woods, Rin following. Suddenly he stopped and Rin almost bumped into him. Sesshoumaru took Rin’s hand and gently pulled her next to him.

“Here.” He said, letting go of her hand. “Not behind me.”

Perplexed, Rin did as he said. Usually the women walk behind the men.

Sesshoumaru continued slowly through the sun dappled woods. Birds were singing but he didn’t really hear them. He was thinking.

“Why me?” he asked.

The question caught Rin by surprise. “Why do I love you?” she asked, making sure that’s what he meant.

Sesshoumaru nodded.

Rin thought a moment. “It can’t be said in one word. I love you for many reasons. Love itself is hard to explain; it just happens.”

Sesshoumaru thought about why he loved Rin. He couldn’t come up with just one simple answer.

“What are the many reasons?” He wanted to understand why Rin felt the way she did.

“You are kind hearted, gentle, you protect me, care for me. It’s more than that, but you can’t put it all into words. It’s hard to explain.”

Sesshoumaru continued walking, thinking. Occasionally he glanced at Rin. Once she looked at him and smiled, lightly touching his arm. The touch was oddly comforting.

“You don’t consider me an evil youkai?”

Rin looked up at him in surprise. “No. You aren’t evil.” She thought about her family. “I’ve seen what evil people do. You are not at all like them.”

“I am not very,” he paused to get the right word. “Sociable.”

“It doesn’t matter. You’re sociable enough with me. That’s what counts.”

“Love is a confusing emotion. I’ve spent most of my life thinking it a useless emotion, for the weak.” He looked at Rin. “My Father died protecting a human he loved. I didn’t want to be like him.”

“And now?” Rin was curious about hearing this part of Sesshoumaru’s life.

“I understand a little why he did what he did.”

“Is that why you hated humans?” She really wanted to know but had never tried asking before.

Sesshoumaru stopped walking. A memory surfaced. One he hadn’t thought about in years, and had tried to forget.

Rin saw the look of unpleasantness cross his face. She lightly touched his arm. “I didn’t mean to pry. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s okay.”

Sesshoumaru was surprised by her reaction. It didn’t occur to him that anyone might care about how he felt. He hesitated, then said, “It was a long time ago. I think I was about the equivalent of your age when you first found me. Hi’Iki and I were together. I decided to explore further, Hi’Iki headed home. It was dark and I got disoriented at one point and wasn’t sure which way was home. Just as I got my bearings, a group of bandits caught me. If Hi’Iki hadn’t arrived when he did, they would have killed me. The bandits weren’t prepared to fight off even a small dragon.” That had been the only time Sesshoumaru had seen Hi’Iki’s true form. Turning into their true form was something they had to master and neither of them had mastered it yet. Hi’Iki’s transformation had been a fluke, caused by his need to help his friend. “We agreed never to say anything about it.”

This revelation surprised Rin more than anything. It explained a lot about Sesshoumaru’s attitude and feelings. “That must have been frightening for you.”

“That’s when I started hating humans and thinking they were worthless.”

“So what happened with your Father just added to the hate you already felt.” She smiled at him. “I’m glad you were able to get past that.”

“I think I have a lot to learn about humans.” He looked at Rin. “This could take some time.”

“We have plenty of time,” Rin said, smiling.

Sesshoumaru liked having Rin next to him. Her presence felt comforting. He had no great plans now, despite what Jaken seemed to think. All Sesshoumaru ever really wanted was to be greater than his Father, and that he had accomplished. Now the new challenge in his life was to learn about humans, at least one special human.

They arrived back home to find Hi’Iki lounging on the porch, waiting for them.

Grinning, Hi’Iki got up and went to greet them.

Sesshoumaru suspected Hi’Iki knew.

“Sesshoumaru, Rin. I’m glad you made it back before I left.” He took Rin’s hands and smiled. “Congratulations.”

“You knew,” Sesshoumaru said. It didn’t bother him that Hi’Iki was holding Rin’s hands. He knew now that Hi’Iki had seen what he had not. “How long did you know?”

Hi’Iki grinned. “Almost from the start.”

Rin was surprised. “You didn’t say anything!”

“He had to learn it on his own.” He let go of Rin’s hands and gave her a hug. He walked over to Sesshoumaru. “She’s just what you needed. Take care of her.”

Sesshoumaru looked at Rin. She smiled back at him. “Always.” He turned back to Hi’Iki. “Don’t you have a mate to find?”

“Someone to convince to be my mate you mean.” Hi’Iki knew it was Hana, but whether or not Hana agreed was the question. “I’d best be on my way.”

“Now?” Rin asked. “It’s kind of late.”

“That’s okay. I’m not worried about traveling at night.” He gave Rin another hug. “Next time I come by I want to know what new things you’ve learned,” he said, smirking at Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow. “Don’t wait so long next time.”

Hi’Iki grinned. “I won’t!” He gave his friends a flourishing bow. “Until next time!”



He made his way back to the village. He was sorry to be leaving Sesshoumaru and Rin, but they needed time by themselves, and he had a mate to find. He new Hana was the right one, but convincing her of that was not going to be easy. She had her own issues to deal with and he wanted to help her with them.

Time was important, but he didn’t rush. He would get to the village by morning and that was soon enough. He had to think of what to say to Hana. He was fairly certain she’d turn him down. As he walked down the mountain and through the forest, his mind was on what he needed to say. He trusted Kodo and Podo to alert him to any trouble. As his hike was at night, he expected some interference. But apart from a few lesser youkai trying to make a meal of Hi’Iki, nothing happened.

The morning sun was just peeking above the trees when he arrived at his destination. He saw Miroku and the children and headed their way.

“Good morning,” he greeted them.

“Good morning. What brings you back to our humble little village?” Miroku asked. He was entertaining the boisterous youngsters while Sango and Hana were busy.

“I am looking for Hana.”

“She and Sango are checking out weapons.” Miroku said, pointing the way.

“Thanks.” Hi’Iki smiled at the children as he went past. They smiled and waved at him.

Hi’Iki found the two women behind the house, inspecting the weapons.

“Lovely ladies shouldn’t be working so early in the morning.”

The two women turned at the sound of his voice. “Hi’Iki! What are you doing here?” Sango asked.

Taking a deep breath to prepare himself, Hi’Iki said, “I have come to ask Hana something.”

“What would you ask of me?” Hana wanted to know.

Hi’Iki joined the two women. “Before the trouble with the dragons, I was searching for a mate. I’m to take over the leadership of our clan. However, it’s a jointly ruled clan so I have to have a mate.”

Sango looked from Hi’Iki to Hana. This was best discussed between to the two of them she felt and excused herself.

Hana looked a little nervous as Sango left. “So why are you telling me?”

“My Uncle, who isn’t in the best of health, asked me to take over the clan from him. We are open minded about most things, including who to ask to be our mates. My Uncle’s mate is human. So I’m here to ask you to be my mate.”

“Me!? Oh no, I couldn’t.” Hana looked surprised and frightened. “I couldn’t possibly be…”

“It’s okay Hana. I understand.” He reached out and gently touched her arm. “Just think about it.”

Hana shook her head. “My whole life has been fighting youkai and dragons in particular and you are both.” She looked at Hi’Iki. He had a sad look on his face. “I’ll think about it.”

Hi’Iki nodded. “I’ll be leaving shortly. I have to go see about the dragons that got away.”

“Why? They shouldn’t be a threat now should they?”

“That’s what I have to determine. Think about it while I’m gone.” He turned and quickly left. He had expected such an answer but it still hurt. He didn’t want to push her into making a decision. So he felt it would be best to leave. He had told her the truth about needing to check on the dragons. He didn’t know how long it would take, but he hoped the people here would influence her to some degree into making the right choice.



Hana went back to the house, confused. She was sad to see Hi’Iki leave yet what he asked was impossible for her to give. How could she be the mate of someone she fought against her entire life? True, he wasn’t someone she actually fought against, but his kind was. ‘And just what kind is that?’ a voice in her mind demanded. ‘Youkai are evil and want only to hurt us.’ This idea had been drilled into her from birth. ‘He’s a youkai, youkai are supposed to be evil.’ She thought to herself. ‘And has this youkai done anything to show he is evil?’ No she thought. He’d been nothing but kind.

“Hana, are you okay?” Sango saw her approaching.

Hana looked up at her. “Yes, I guess. Hi’Iki left. He said he had to make sure the dragons wouldn’t come back.”

“So what else did he say?”

“He said,” Hana stopped. The thought made her afraid and sad at the same time. “He said he wanted me to be his mate.”

‘Poor girl’ Sango thought. ‘She’s so confused about it.’ She took Hana’s arm and led her into the house. “Here, I’ll make you some tea.” Sango started preparing tea. Miroku came in.

“What’s going on?” Looking from Sango to Hana, he guessed something happened.

“Hi’Iki left.” Sango said, giving Hana her tea. Sango then took Miroku by the arm and took him outside. They went a little ways away from the house so Hana wouldn’t hear anything.

“Hi’Iki asked her to be his mate.”

“Ordinarily I would have said that was great news. So why isn’t it good news?” Miroku was mystified by this turn of events.

“Remember, Hana comes from a village that doesn’t accept youkai as we do. Her whole life was spent exterminating them. And on top of that, her family was killed by dragons. Hi’Iki is exactly what her whole life has been spent trying to destroy.” Sango shook her head.

“I think they’d make a good couple.”

“You think Sesshoumaru and Rin would make a good couple!”

“Well they would,” Miroku said defensively.

“And how likely is that?”

“You never know.”

“In any case, I think we should help Hana make a choice.”

“How?”

“By making her see not all youkai are evil, and neither are all dragons.”

“Hmm, the youkai part I can see, but what about the dragon part?”

“I don’t know, I’ll think of something.”

They went back to see how Hana was doing.

“So what are you going to do now Hana?” Miroku asked politely as he and Sango sat down to have tea with her.

“I’m not sure. I don’t really want to go home by myself. It’s a long way to travel alone.” She thought about how she had had a mission on her journey out and traveling alone hadn’t bothered her. Now, the thought of traveling alone bothered her.

As they finished their tea, a voice from the doorway asked if any tea was left.

“Kohaku!” Sango got up and grabbed her brother in a big hug.

“Nice to see you too, Sis.” Kohaku returned the hug.

Sango poured him some tea. “Hana, this is my brother, Kohaku.”

Hana smiled. “Hello.”

“Hana came here looking for dragons,” Sango explained.

“Oh, I heard something about dragons warring with everyone. Do you know what happened?”

“Yeah, they learned the hard way not to mess with us.” InuYasha and Kagome came in with Shippou.

“What’s to eat?” Shippou asked. “Hi Kohaku. What are you doing here?”

“I’m done with my teachings. So I came for a visit.” Kohaku greeted InuYasha and Kagome as well.

“So what will you do now?” Sango asked.

Hana watched the interaction between the friends. It still amazed her that a youkai slayer could be friends with a hanyou and a youkai. She had fought with these people, learned to like them, even InuYasha and Shippou. But it was difficult to overcome her training.

“I was thinking of coming back here. Not that there’s much work for a youkai slayer here.”

“I noticed that,” InuYasha said. “What’s with the youkai around here anyway?”

“Sesshoumaru-sama told them to behave.”

“He told them to behave!?” InuYasha was skeptical.

“Yeah. To protect Rin. The youkai know how powerful he is, so they behave.”

“How do you know all this?” Shippou asked.

“From some of the youkai I’ve run into. Anyway, tell me what happened with the dragons?”

So Shippou, with added comments by InuYasha, Kagome and Miroku, told about the big fight with the dragons.

Hana listened to the recounting of the battle. They had worked well together, all of them. Even she had worked well with them. Humans and youkai working well together was something she would have never expected to work, yet here it did. Could it work for her? Could she be happy here, among both humans and youkai? She had worked well with Hi’Iki too, she thought. Thinking of Hi’Iki made her remember what he had said.

The next several weeks went by in a blur for Hana. Kohaku had gone back to his teacher for his last instructions and sent out to a village that needed his expertise.

Hana spent her time going out with InuYasha and Miroku, helping with the children or working on a garden of herbs and vegetables. Sometimes she was too busy to think about Hi’Iki. Other times she wondered where he was and how he was doing. She missed his friendly charm and wished he would come back.

One warm mid summer morning Hana was outside, mending one of her kimonos. It had been torn during one of the jobs they had of ridding villages of trouble making youkai. The others had gone on a trip, leaving Hana in charge of the shrine.

A rustling sound startled her and she looked up. The Oriental Dragon King was just settling down. He had a small object held carefully in his claws.

“Greetings Hana. I have been instructed to give this to you.” He handed her the object.

Hana took it, realizing it was an egg, small and a blue grey mottled color. “What am I to do with this?” she asked.

“You must take it inside and put it where it is warm. It is about to hatch.”

“Hatch?”

“Yes and soon. You must feed it right away when it hatches. Go now.” The Dragon King waited to make sure she followed his orders, then left.

Hana took the little egg inside, putting it in some cloth and placing the whole thing next to the fire. “What am I to do with it?” she asked, looking out of the doorway. The Dragon King was gone. “Great. Now what do I do?” She sat down next to the egg, which began to rock back and forth. Within a few minutes it cracked. A small white head broke through the shell, and began to chirp. Soon it shook its way out of the shell, getting louder as it did so. Small wings flapped uncoordinatedly as the small creature demanded food. “It’s a tiny dragon!” Hana exclaimed as she quickly found leftovers from the last meal and fed them to the little baby. The little dragonet ate until its belly became extended. Then it curled up in Hana’s lap and promptly fell asleep.

Hana studied the little dragon. It looked much like Kodo and Podo. Podo mostly, as this one was white. Hana wondered if the little creature was a female, like Podo. “What am I to do with you?” she asked softly, stroking the sleeping dragon. Hana didn’t dare move with baby in her lap, so she was stuck sitting in the house until the baby woke up. She wondered who had sent the egg, as the Dragon King had said he was instructed to give it to her. Hi’Iki perhaps? It made sense, as he was the only one who she knew had dragonets.

“What have you got there?” Miroku asked as he and Sango came in. They had been with InuYasha and Kagome, to see to Monk Mushin’s shrine. Miroku had been there when Mushin had finally passed away and had promised to take care of the shrine.

The little dragon woke up and chirped before Hana could say anything. Bright blue eyes looked at Hana. The baby demanded food. ‘I’m hungry!’ Hana got an image in her mind of the baby eating. “It’s thinking to me!” Hana was amazed. She fed the little dragon. She got another mental image, the dragonet was female. “She’s a female.”

“Thinking to you?”

“Yes. I get mental images. How extraordinary. I wonder if that’s how Hi’Iki communicates with Kodo and Podo.” Hana was excited about this interesting development.

“Probably.” Miroku asked “How did you get her?”

“Oh. The Dragon King delivered her to me.”

“The Dragon King was here?” Sango asked.

“Yes. He said he was asked to deliver this to me and that I was to take care of her.”

“It looks like Podo, Hi’Iki’s little dragon,” Miroku said thoughtfully. “Could Hi’Iki have sent it to you?”

“I was wondering the same thing myself.” Hana said. The more she thought about it, the more it seemed this was Hi’Iki’s way of letting her know he hadn’t forgotten her and to remind her of his request.

“Why would he send you a baby dragon though?” Miroku asked.

“To help me get over my fear of dragons,” Hana said, almost to herself.

Miroku and Sango looked at each other. They had been trying for a month to figure out how to get Hana over her fears so she could say yes to Hi’Iki. This was perfect.

The little dragon ate her fill and was looking around curiously. She chirped and hopped off Hana’s lap, clumsily walking around. She managed to get her nose into everything that was with in reach. She checked out Miroku and Sango, and apparently decided they were acceptable. She explored a bit more, then wobbled back to Hana, curled up in her lap and went to sleep.

“We’ll go over to Kagome’s,” Sango said quietly. “So we don’t disturb her.”

Hana nodded. She was delighted with her new found companion. She had been given a precious gift. She wasn’t afraid of this little dragon. The little dragon depended on her, trusted and accepted her. She wondered if Hi’Iki had felt this way when he had gotten Kodo and Podo. Thinking of Hi’Iki, she thought about his request. She went over it several times. She liked Hi’Iki. They had worked well together. He certainly wasn’t what she had been led to expect about youkai. He most certainly wasn’t evil, ‘unless you consider his charm evil’ she thought, smiling to herself. Every youkai she had met here wasn’t evil. Even Sesshoumaru. While he wasn’t outright friendly, he wasn’t evil. She wished Hi’Iki would come back. She wanted to thank him for the little dragon.













Notes:



Remember, Sessh is a child/pup/youngster when he is attacked by the bandits, he wouldn’t have the power he does now. Or at least not the control. I am guessing having control over your power takes training; even the ability to transform takes a certain amount of training.



I’m reading the Dragonriders of Pern series and it gave me the idea of the baby dragon gift.