Finding Daddy

VIII

Miroku lay on his back and groaned, loudly. He did not know which was the worst part of their treatment of his wounds: Sango's expressions of dismay, Kagome's fussing, or Inuyasha's crying. The man-pup assured all through copious tears that though he was a lowly and worthless hanyou, he did have healing properties in his saliva and it would work better for his Houshi-Daddy-sama than any of the strange substances the miko was pulling out to spray or smear the multiple slice wounds on Miroku's arms, legs, and torso. He sobbed as he begged their forgiveness for putting the monk in the path of danger as well as for his presumption in asking to treat his beloved Houshi-Daddy…even as he clung to the monk and refused to let the others touch him. The fierce protectiveness could not help but make Miroku smile despite the pain, and the saliva did truly soothe and begin the healing better than Kagome's stinging liquid from the future. Eventually, Inuyasha even let her offer the clean, white gauze to wrap it when he seemed contented that the saliva was ample enough. Of course, he did not let her actually do the wrapping. After that, Miroku drifted off from pain and exhaustion despite his concern that now was not the time for napping.

When he woke, he found himself feeling surprisingly strong and warmed by a small campfire. He also discovered he was an unnoticed audience to a hushed discussion. Inuyasha sat at his side, facing away from him, obviously putting himself between Miroku and the others.

Kagome was speaking: "Inuyasha, can't you try to remember? We all need—Miroku—your 'Houshi-Daddy'—needs you to remember who you are. Kagura will have told Naraku what happened. We need to be strong…"

Inuyasha was shaking his shaggy head forcefully, pointedly not listening. It was clear he was blocking out her words. The boy did not want to be the man again. Miroku could guess why.

Sango made a sound of derision. "Face it, Kagome: we will have to do this ourselves. Inuyasha—our Inuyasha—is gone." She rose and walked away. "Kirara and I will take first watch," she called over her shoulder.

Inuyasha gasped, turned away, and clung to Miroku's prone body. The monk's arm instinctively wrapped the boy as he sighed heavily.

"Houshi-Daddy-sama…" he breathed. Then: "The slayer wishes me dead…she will kill me and it is all my fault for getting you hurt," he blurted out. "I'm so sorry," he sobbed.

Kagome did not move, but she addressed Miroku firmly, ignoring Inuyasha. "Houshi-sama, I think Inuyasha…does not wish to remember… His feelings for you…" She faltered.

Miroku sat up, wincing a little with the pain of movement, but not suffering overmuch. Inuyasha's saliva truly did work wonders. If he had to, he could fight. "It is not his fault, Kagome," he said, holding her gaze.

"I'm not saying it is. I'm saying…I'm saying your…attachment…is not helping matters."

Miroku felt anger rising in Kagome. He could not truly blame her, but nor could he acknowledge the truth in her words. Inuyasha had wrapped his arms tightly around his waist and burrowed his head in his robes. He was crying softly now. Miroku stroked his head gently as he spoke. "He is alone, Kagome, more now than ever. Perhaps his memory will return; perhaps it will not. But he needs me, and I will not deny him." He knew the wrongness of his position even as he held it.

"No one is asking you to deny anything," she replied through clenched teeth. The sexual implications of her words were impossible for Miroku to miss.

He felt a flush rise up his throat and into his face. "It is not my fault he loves me and not you now!" he shouted before he could stop himself, holding tightly to Inuyasha's large, shivering body.

"Houshi-sama," Kagome replied, an accusation in barely more than a whisper.

Miroku was immediately sorry for his words. "Kagome," he said, the word a plea for understanding.

The miko rose and looked down at the pitiful site before her, the wounded monk and the even more wounded hanyou she loved. "We cannot fight Naraku without Inuyasha. I'm going to have Kirara take me to the well. I need to find out if there is a way we can help him…I'll talk to Jii-chan and Mama and read…as fast as I can…"

Miroku nodded. Kagome was wise and he was a fool. A selfish fool.

"Will you be all right?" she asked Miroku, and he felt shame burn through him.

"Yes, Kagome. We will be fine."

She nodded and turned to go.

"Kagome," Miroku called and she turned back. "Thank you."