The Trials and Tribulations of Parenthood

Parenthood Chapter 8

The Trials and Tribulations of Parenthood

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Inuyasha or Yu Yu Hakusho. They are owned by their respective authors. I only claim ownership of the plot.

Chapter 8

There was a knock at the door and Hiei opened it, grateful for the interruption to another of Kagome’s crying scenes. He was more then tired of them for this lifetime and he wondered for the thousandth time what Kami had seen fit to play such tricks as pregnancy on unsuspecting males.

“Hn, come on in, if you can stand the sound of crying that is.”

Yusuke walked into the apartment and looked around with a critical eye. The apartment looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in a week, which was very unusual. Dirty dishes sat piled high in the sink and clothes looked like they had been thrown across the room, to take up residence wherever they had landed. Dried food decorated the walls. He turned to Hiei in surprise. “Should I ask?”

“Kagome’s mood swings from hell.” Hiei pushed more clothes off the couch and onto the floor, ignoring where they landed. “She says she’s on strike until I stop being a jerk.”

“Aw Hiei, I can’t even imagine the idea of you being a jerk.” The sarcasm in Yusuke’s voice was evident but also so was the laughter he was trying his hardest not to give into. The sour look that remark earned him from Hiei was almost enough to set the room on fire. “Ok, ok, so why does she think you’re being a jerk?”

“Because I’m doing my damnedest to try to be a good mate.” The growl of frustration that rose up from his chest was unmistakable. “I try to be supportive. I try to rub her breasts with lotion cause she says they’re sore and then she gets upset when I roll the nipples in my fingers. I swear, if I didn’t know better I’d think she wanted to kill me. And this is supposed to feel good.”

“What fool told you that?” Yusuke couldn't believe just what he was hearing. He was surprised to see Hiei standing before him in one piece if he had actually attempted that. Pregnant females were difficult enough to live with as it was, doing something that foolish would get Hiei killed if he kept it up.

Hiei eyed him with suspicion. So help him if that Kitsune had been lying he would have to worry about growing all of his tails back because he would take great joy in setting each and every one of them on fire. “Youko did. He had all kinds of advice for me and Kurama both about how to keep Kagome and Yukina happy while they’re round.”

This time Yusuke’s laughter did roll off the walls. “Did he also tell you to mimic how they walk by and chant Quack, Quack, Waddle, Waddle?”

“You can’t be serious?” The air around them grew uncomfortably warm as his anger grew. The sound of something hitting the wall in another room cut through his thoughts as a muffled shout came through the walls. "I don't give a crap what you're pissed off about this time Hiei, but if you burn this place down so help me you better char yourself with it!"

“I think maybe I better give you a little advice and quite possibly save your life at the same time.” Yusuke remembered back to when Keiko was pregnant and while the thought of seeing Hiei char himself was tempting he could feel sorry for him too.

“First of all, yes those large hooters are very tempting but they do hurt the girls. Picture what it would feel like with a load of concrete in your dick. So lotion helps but rolling their nipples definitely isn’t any way to win points with them.”

“So Youko was…..”

“Lying.”

“I’m gonna kill him.”

“Not if I beat you to it. Is that where you’ve been getting all these stupid bullshit ideas?” Neither Hiei nor Yusuke had noticed Kagome walk into the room but it was obvious she had heard every word that had been said. “And just what other little tidbits of information did he choose to pass along to you?”

Yusuke cleared his throat. “Uh Hiei, I think I hear Keiko calling me.”

Kagome rounded on him. “Oh no you don’t Yusuke. You stay right the hell here while I get to the bottom of this.”

“Now, was Youko also behind this idea that you’ve had that when I tell you I’m tired or sore and tell you that I’m not interested in sex at the moment, that you think I’m just trying to play hard to get?” Kagome was seeing red the more she thought about it. “Because if he is I’m gonna make him eat that damn tube of KY Jelly.”

“The mood she’s in you should enter her in the dark tournament. She’d be a shoo in to win.” Yusuke whispered to Hiei, hoping that Kagome’s ears wouldn’t be sharp enough to hear him.

Kagome turned towards him eyes blazing, clearly having heard that comment. "I'm sure I would, want me to prove it by using you as a demonstration?"

Hiei took a step away from the Detective, thankful that for once she was mad at someone other than him.

“And you still haven’t answered my question Hiei!”

"Question?” Hiei was hoping that she would have conveniently forgotten about him but apparently luck was not on his side that day. Or any day for that matter from the looks of things.

She ground her teeth slowly. “Yeah, the one I just asked. About you thinking I’m playing hard to get? Remember?”

“Yeah Hiei, that question. Remember?” Yusuke couldn’t resist putting on a show that he was supporting Kagome in this one.

Kagome rounded on him again. “And what was this Quack, Quack, Waddle, Waddle shit I seem to remember coming out of your mouth?”

Yusuke had the grace to look down embarrassed. ‘I didn’t think she heard that. Shit! Koenma should hire her as an interrogator. He’d have all his answers in nothing flat.’

“I was just trying to make you feel good!” Hiei burst that out when her glare turned back to him. “Hell, how was I supposed to know he was lying? I’ve never been a father before.”

“You could have tried listening to me. I think I know my own body a little better then Youko does.”

“Just what does Youko know about your body??”

She clapped her hands over her eyes and groaned. “Not again! It’s just a saying Hiei. A human saying!”

“Yeah Hiei, a human saying. Don’t worry, eventually you get used to them. Kinda anyways.” Yusuke let a chuckle escape now that the attention was back off of him again. Only to give an omph when Hiei shoved a sharp elbow into his stomach and knocked the air out of his lungs.

“I should just give up. I wonder if Yukina is having these same problems with Kurama.” Kagome sank down on the couch, looking up at Hiei in despair. “Of course she is, she has to live with the both of them! Poor Yukina.”

“Hn. I’m sure she can handle him. She shares my blood after all. And just think. This is where you wanted to go when you were so mad at me. You thought it would be better there.”

“Um Hiei, I think now might be a good time to let things like that be forgotten.” Yusuke had gotten his air back and was starting to edge towards the door. “And I still think I hear Keiko calling. She wants me to ummmm, help fold the laundry. Or something.”

“Just go Yusuke. It’s alright. And Hiei will live. For now anyways. Thanks for coming over.”

Yusuke made his way out the door and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He couldn’t wait to tell Keiko everything that had happened and all the things that Youko had told Hiei about pregnant women. “Hello Keiko?”

Keiko stared at the phone in her hand in disbelief. “Youko told Hiei and Kurama what? And you did correct Hiei didn’t you? You better have or I’ll try to get pregnant just so you can experience it all again.”

“Well, umm, in a way I guess I did?”

“Twins Yusuke. I think I’d be happy if we could have twins this time. I’ve been meaning to tell you I’ve been thinking about wanting more babies anyway.”

“No way! Absolutely not! I forbid you to even think about such a thing!” Yusuke’s voice was starting to hold an edge of panic, and the mere thought of having to go through another nine months of morning sickness, with him wretching in sympathy of hers was giving him a quesy stomach just thinking about it.

“Babies.” Her voice had a faraway dreamy quality to it and he pulled the phone away from his ear, staring at it in disbelief, as if it had suddenly turned poisonous.

He didn’t even realize he had stopped walking down the sidewalk, she remarks had stunned him so badly. Suddenly he felt someone lay a hand on his arm and turned to see that Shiori was looking at him with a look of concern in her eyes. “Are you ok Yusuke? You look rather pale.”

“Uh, yes I am. I was just shocked by a comment that Keiko said about wanting another baby.”

Shiori let a smile of longing play across her lips. “Yusuke, you’re so lucky to have such a wonderful wife and a beautiful child. Maybe someday my Shuichi will have just as nice a family as yours.”

“Hon, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you in a little while.” He clicked the phone closed and took Shiori’s arm in his. “I’m sure he will. I was just on my way over to his apartment to visit. Would you like to come with me?”

They arrived at the apartment building and knocked. When the door opened it was Yukina who answered wearing her t-shirt that had the word BABY boldly emblazoned across the front. She looked at them, a question in her eyes. “Hello Yusuke. What a surprise. Would you and your friend like to come in?” They walked in the apartment where Kurama was sitting on the couch channel surfing. “Who is it hon?”

“Shuichi?”

He rose quickly at the sound of her voice and took her hands in his. “Hello mother.”

There was a few moments of shocked silence all the way around and then his mother found her voice. “Well, this is a surprise.” She smiled at Yukina and asked “Are you married to my son?”

“Your son? Married to?”

Both women looked at Kurama. “Is there something you’d like to explain to us here?

“Why doesn’t everyone sit down.” Yusuke was already lounging in the spot Kurama had just been sitting in and had picked up the remote control, pretending to be very interested in looking through the different channels.

‘He set us up! We’re going to kill him when this is over.’

‘I agree. And we’ll do it very, very slowly over an open spit.’

‘And stuff an apple in his open mouth.’

Kurama cleared his throat. “Ah yes. Mother, meet Yukina, and yes we plan to be married very soon. Yukina, this is my mother, Shiori Hatanaka.

“When do you plan to be married Shuichi and when were you planning to tell me all these surprises?”

Yukina looked at Kurama with large eyes. ‘Shuichi?’

Kurama was inwardly squirming and he could see Yusuke barely holding his laughter in. ‘I bet he thinks this is better then one of those trash talk shows he is so fond of watching.’

‘Or those shows where you guess the paternity of children. At least we know that we fathered our children.’

‘Now all we need is for Hiei to show up and the party will be complete.’

As if on cue there was another knock at the door. Pounding would be a better word because the blows were threatening to tear the door off the hinges. Yukina went and answered the door and silently stood aside as Hiei and Kagome walked into the room.

“Hola! Wait up!” Another voice was heard as the owner ran towards the apartment door. Kuwabara burst in. “They’re having a show on tv. It’s called surprise marriage proposals.” He grabbed the controller out of Yusuke’s hand and flipped the channel over. Then he looked up and seemed to notice there was other people in the room. “Oh hi.”

~*~*~*~*~

First, thanks for all the lovely reviews. They made my day.
LOL, I don’t know who to feel sorrier for in the story, they all seem to be having their moments. But it’s looking to be fun. Anyway, reviews are appreciated, please continue. Oh and soon some of the babies more unusual talents are going to start appearing even before they’re born.