Sex and Drugs

Sex and Drugs
Chapter 8: Loving Advice from a Loving Sister

Inuyasha couldn’t sleep that night. It was too hot and too humid, and after a very vivid dream involving Kagome and her talented tongue he was so frustrated that he wouldn’t have been able to sleep even if he overdosed on sleeping pills.

It wasn’t just the dream and the heat and his now painful appendage that kept him awake, though. It seemed as if his mind was on overdrive, and every time he closed his eyes he couldn’t help but think of things, think of people, think of her. When had she started invading his thoughts so often?

Inuyasha growled, sat up, and punched his pillow until feathers flew in every direction. When he laid back down his eyes refused to shut.

He knew he wasn’t the only one awake, though. There was a thunderstorm raging outside, and if that one panic episode was any indication, Kagome would be wide awake. Inuyasha contemplated whether or not he should go up the attic stairs and start up a conversation.

What would he say though? ‘Uh, hi Angel! How’s it hanging?’

Inuyasha snorted. Even in his head it sounded terribly pathetic. Besides, he was a complete asshole to her earlier, and he highly doubted Kagome would greet him with open arms. What possessed me to act like that? I acted a fool.

A particularly loud clap of thunder made him jump. Moments later lightening illuminated the room, then another crash.

I’ve got to make it up to her somehow. I can’t stand to see her sad or angry with me. As soon as he thought this he became confused. When had he started caring if she hated him or not? Or whether she was sad?

So he started coming up with ideas and ways he could properly apologize to her without having to say ‘sorry’. It was only his male pride that kept him from saying that word.

But since it was three in the morning and he hadn’t eaten anything since 6 last night, all he could think of was food… and her of course.

Mmm, strawberries dipped in chocolate. No, Kagome dipped in chocolate. Yeah. No no no! Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts! Er… bananas dipped in chocolate? SHIT! REALLY BAD THOUGHTS! Holy fuck! Wait… fuck…sex…man I miss that.

Inuyasha sighed and started a staring contest with Kirara, Sango’s cat who somehow managed to get into his room. It didn’t come as a shock when he lost. I think I set a world record for the longest staring contest in the world. How pathetic have I become?

Kagome continued invading his vulnerable mind for the next few hours as he slipped in and out of sleep. She was the last thing he thought of before drifting off to sleep, and she was the first thing he thought of when he woke. He still ached for her by the time he got up and showered for the day.


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“Come in, Kagome dear; don’t be rude by standing in the doorway. Honestly, you would think our deplorable mother brought you up, not our father. Oh well, he always said you were a hopeless case.” Kikyo said carelessly as she tossed aside an expensive business suit ensemble on to the bed.

Seething with resentment Kagome walked into the room with her guard up. When she was summoned from her chores she knew her loving sister was up to no good. Kikyo never did interrupt when Kagome was doing physical labor, she would much rather sit back and watch with a strawberry daiquiri in hand.

Kikyo motioned Kagome to sit on the bed and continued to put more clothing in the dresser and closet without saying a word.

Kagome took a moment and surveyed her surroundings. The room had changed drastically since Kagome moved into the attic. Shopping bags littered the room, clothing and shoes were draped over chairs and on the coffee table to the right. A picture of their father was on the end table next to the bed in a pewter frame.

Disgusted by Kikyo’s desire for material possessions Kagome spoke, “What do you want, Kikyo?”

Kikyo turned around, feigned an expression of hurt on her face and calmly walked over to the bed in her red stilettos. “You seem to be a bit fumbling in life, Kagome dear. Look at you, dressed in such trashy attire, socializing with a hanyou, and living in this rut in the middle of no where.”

“Get to the point, Kikyo.” Kagome’s eyes narrowed to slits.

“My point? I’m a superb role model for the less fortunate, such as you. I called you in here so you could ask for pointers, advice, et cetera. We could start with your manners, Kagome. Does that sound good?”

Kagome just stared at her in disbelief.

“That’s what I’m talking about, Kagome!” Kikyo continued, unabashed. “When someone asks you a question they expect a response!” Kagome watched as Kikyo started to pace back and forth in the room mumbling to herself. “My goodness Kagome, I do hope you don’t act like this on a date with an upstanding gentleman.”

“What?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he ditched you after five minutes. Stop gaping at me like that. Close your mouth, you’ll start drooling again.”

“I have never drooled before! Well… not since I was a baby anyway!” Kagome said outraged.

“My goodness, look at what that terrible hanyou has done to you! You’ve never talked back before. Dear me, I must take you home immediately!”

“Keep Inuyasha out of this! He has done nothing to me!” Kagome retorted, now standing with her hands in tight fists.

Kikyo tsked and shook her head sympathetically as if Kagome was about to cry instead of going on a homicidal rampage. “My dear, dear, dear Kagome. You don’t even realize how manipulative his kind is! He will drag you down with him, darling! Listen to your loving sister for once.”

“What the hell are you talking about!?”

“Kagome, you’re lost and confused, so think about it this way. That hanyou is the devil! I am god! You’ve just died but you’re stuck in limbo someplace. You’re searching for heaven but the devil is trying to lead you to hell. Do you understand? Let me help you! Let me bring you home, to heaven!”

Kagome stared at Kikyou blankly, not believing a word she had said. Her mouth gapped open then closed, then opened again… unable to say a word. Then finally, “Kikyou, are you on crack or something? What the hell have you been smoking?”

“That wasn’t nice at all!”

“I don’t give a shit if I’m being nice or a pain in your ass!” Kagome yelled.

“Now you listen to me, you little incompetent bitch!” Kikyou’s kind demeanor dropped in a heartbeat.

Startled by the sudden change in attitude Kagome stumbled back as Kikyou poked her in the chest. “I have had it with you! You walk out on our father without a word and hide yourself from your family while he sits at home, worried out of his mind!”

“Kikyou! He nearly r-raped me! Now do you understand!?” Kagome stuttered back, trying to make Kikyou understand what she had gone through.

“Oh this is rich!” Kikyou let out a hearty laugh that echoed down the hall. “Have you become a pathological liar now, too?”

“Damn it, Kikyou! I’ve still got the bruises from when he beat me! Look!” Kagome rolled up her sleeve to show her the fading bruise. The skin was a sickly green and yellow color the size of a baseball on her upper arm.

“I’ve always known you to be a liar, Kagome, but to hurt yourself to convince yourself and others that our loving and caring father would even land a hand on you is unforgivable!”

“You’ve got to believe me, Kikyou! I didn’t hurt myself! You know how he did this to me? He whacked me with a vodka bottle! I was lucky that it didn’t break!”

Kikyou placed her hands on Kagome’s shoulders and spoke to her softly.

“Kagome. Come home, right now. You don’t belong here. You don’t seem to understand that you are mentally unstable.”

“Mentally unstable? Mentally unstable!?” Kagome yelled.

“Sweety, you’re in denial! You may not see your mental illness, but I do! Why do you think I came all the way out here? I came to bring you home. Father and I can help. We’re the good guys!”

“Bullshit, Kikyou. That’s absolute bullshit. No father I know goes out of his way to beat his daughter and sexually abuse her.”

“See? This is what I am talking about. That is all an illusion, Kagome. It’s called Schizophrenia. I’ve been talking to a Psychologist, Kagome. He knows all about this!”

“I’m not listening to you, Kikyou. This is just another one of your cock and bullshit stories that you feed to me all the time.”

“This is not just another story, Kagome! This is real! You must understand!” Kikyou almost seemed frantic at this point. She shook Kagome’s shoulders slightly, while pleading. “Schizophrenia! A common symptom is hallucinations! You are just hallucinating these beatings and sexual assault! You are! You must understand this! We cannot help you unless you let us!”

“What? Schizophrenia? Me? Come on, Kikyou! Do I look like I have Schizophrenia!? Am I hearing voices? No! Do I have trouble talking or remembering? No! Do I display catatonic behavior!? No!”

“Kagome! Paranoia and believing nothing is wrong is part of Schizophrenia! Please! Let us help!”

“NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME!”

“You don’t understand!”

“WHY SHOULD I TRUST YOU!?” Kagome exclaimed, outraged.

“You need to understand this, Kagome! Please try to understand! You’re in denial! You-“ Kagome cut Kikyou off before she was able to finish her sentence.

“Answer me! Why should I trust you!?”

“You will never lead a normal life, Kagome! Not when you’re as deluded as you are! You will get worse! You-“

“WHY SHOULD I TRUST YOU, KIKYOU!? ANSWER ME!”

“You will never be able to make friends! You won’t have a boyfriend! You won’t ever experience the love and joy of marriage, intimacy, children, even something simple like a job!”

Inuyasha, hearing all the yelling from outside, made his way through the house and up the stairs. He stopped outside of Kikyou’s bedroom and listened to the sisters’ battle it out.

Things were just not adding up anymore. Now Kagome was Schizophrenic? He didn’t buy it for a minute. She wasn’t sick in the head; he knew that for a fact. She may be a little disturbed, and definitely paranoid, but she wasn’t mentally ill. After a few more moments Inuyasha decided to make his presence known. He had to get Kagome out of there. That crazy psycho bitch was playing with her head.

He knocked on the open door and immediately caught their attention. Kikyou’s face, which was once so worried and scared, turned frightful in the instant she set eyes on him. Inuyasha nearly snorted in disdain. He loved bitches like her just as much as he loved watching neko youkai cough up hairballs.

“I think she’s had enough mental abuse for one day, Kikyou. You need to leave her alone now.”

“Thank Kami it’s you, Inuyasha!” Kagome said while shrugging Kikyou’s hands off her shoulders. She pounded her way out of the bedroom throwing Inuyasha a little smile of appreciation as she passed.

Now it was just the two of them.

“You stay away from her, Kikyou! I’m warning you! You make me think twice about hitting a woman.” Inuyasha turned around in a huff and quickly exited the room, following Kagome’s scent out of the house.

It didn’t take long for him to catch up with her, but by the time he did she was already at the edge of the woods.

He slowed to a walk, not realizing he had run from the house in search of her. He wanted to go over there, to comfort her, to protect her. He would have loved to kick the shit out of Kikyou for her.

But instead of walking over to her he just stood in place, watching her breathe in heavily, gulping air down as greedily and as quickly as a starving man with food in front of him.

He continued to watch her even after she acknowledged his presence but ignored him.

“Thank you for getting me out of there. I’m fine now, so you can go away. I’m still not talking to you.”

“Don’t be childish Kagome.” Inuyasha said as he finally walked over to her just in time to see her roll her eyes and mumble under her breath. “You aren’t Schizophrenic, Kagome.”

“No shit, Sherlock! Did you come up with that all by yourself?” Kagome retorted, enraged. She let out a shaky breath as she turned her head away to avoid facing him.

“Awe, come on, Kagome! I’m s-,“ He stumbled at the last instant and cursed himself for it. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

He cursed again as Kagome feigned a heart attack and fell on the ground, pretending to gasp for air. “I’m dying! I’m having a heart attack! Call an ambulance! Better yet, say it again to save me!”

“You conniving little…keh. Once was fucking enough.” He said, crossing his arms. And here he was, worried for the wench.

Kagome stood up and stared him in the eye, “One ‘I’m sorry’ will never sew up the heart you ripped apart, Inuyasha.” She stalked away, leaving Inuyasha to ponder her meaning.

“Oy! Kagome! You aren’t gonna go off and cry, are ya?”

“Kikyou will never have the pleasure of seeing my tears, Inuyasha. Never.”

Once again Inuyasha jogged to catch up with her. He grabbed her arm and spun her around. “Do you forgive me?” Kagome look away at a bird sitting in a tree. The remaining brown and orange leaves fell from the trees and onto the ground in a lazy dance that seemed to be eternal.

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Kagome started walking again, this time Inuyasha was by her side. A cool breeze blew their hair around in a whispering silence. The storm the previous night blew away all the hot, humid air, and brought in a cold wind and cool temperatures. Fall was finally around them.

When their hands lightly brushed up against each other Kagome muttered a quick apology and jerked her hand away. Inuyasha could smell her embarrassment, and smiled.

She looked so beautiful, with the wind blowing her hair around. She looked so grown up and experienced in life. He had to stop and remind himself she was innocent and in some ways, still a child.

With that thought still fresh in his mind he smiled and gently took her hand in his own. Fresh waves of embarrassment flowed off of her, but she didn’t pull away.

His smile grew wider and he gently nudged her with his side. She smiled and nudged him back playfully.


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Dinner that night was tense. Kikyou happily chatted away as if nothing had happened earlier that day, but her knuckles were white from gripping her chopsticks too hard.

Miroku had noticed that Kagome and Inuyasha made up sometime during the day. He continued to grind his teeth all throughout the meal.

Sango’s lips were continuously pursed and a tick appeared on her forehead. She was trying as hard as she could not to smack Miroku to get him to stop grinding his teeth.

Inuyasha ate nothing that night, but instead stared at Kikyou with a loathing so deep everyone was surprised she hadn’t been brutally murdered yet.

And Kagome? She remained quiet the entire time, pretending nothing was wrong, but deep inside she was a mess.

Kagome wasn’t stupid. She knew she wasn’t mentally ill, and she wasn’t going to even pretend to be ill to get her annoying sister to shut up. Something bothered her, however. Kikyou seemed completely convinced that Kagome had Schizophrenia. And what bothered her more was that she knew Kikyou wasn’t just saying that as a ploy to get to back home.

Chewing her bottom lip had become a habit since she started living with Miroku, Inuyasha, and Sango. It was a nervous habit she did whenever she was deep in thought. It wasn’t until she tasted her own salty blood that she realized she was chewing her lip.

After politely excusing herself from the table Kagome made her way up to the dusty attic where she planned on cleaning some more. As she stood in the doorway and looked around at all the dust and debris she knew she had found home. Not necessarily in the moldy attic she slept in, but with her three friends.

Kikyou’s wrong, Kagome concluded. I have friends. And I can make more friends. I’m capable of living a normal life. I can taste victory and enjoy the finer pleasures in life now. I will live life to its fullest. I will make more friends. I will get a great job. And who knows… maybe someday I’ll trust the male species and have a boyfriend.

Kagome let out a feeble laugh. A boyfriend? Yeah right, Kagome. You’ll never heal enough to allow another man into your life. You will never get married. You will never grow old with the man you love. You will never have children. You will die a virgin. Maybe I should become a nun? Kami, I don’t want to die a virgin….

“Angel?” The masculine whisper cut through her thoughts like a knife. “Hey.”

“Hey, Inuyasha.” Kagome picked up an old picture frame and wiped off the dust with a cloth. Cleaning kept her busy, busy enough to hide from her own thoughts.

“How’re you doing? I mean, you sure did take off kinda fucking fast at dinner.”

“Yeah, and you, Mr. Abyss for a stomach, didn’t eat a thing during dinner.” Kagome replied with a grin.

“Keh! I was preoccupied!” He said defensively as he walked into the room.

“I’m sure you were.” She said sarcastically.

Inuyasha plopped in an arm chair and sneezed a few times as a whole bunch of dust went flying everywhere. He let out a string of colorful words that made Kagome giggle.

“You know, Angel,” He started off cautiously, not sure of the right thing to say. “I’ll always be here for you. If you ever need to, you know, do that talking thing.” Kagome turned around just in time to see his face turn a bit pink around the nose and cheekbones.

“Arigato, Inuyasha. That means a lot to me, but I’m okay… really.” Kagome replied, trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to convince him.

Inuyasha shrugged and looked at her sheepishly. “Kagome?”

“You know, you’re using my real name more and more lately. You must be beginning to realize I’m not a sex object and that you can’t have me.”

“You’ll give into my charms eventually, Angel, and I will sleep with you.” He grinned.

“Well that was short lived.” Kagome replied, knowing she shouldn’t have said anything.

“Hey, you want to go for a walk?” He asked randomly.

“We walked forever today, Inuyasha! Aren’t you tired?” He shook his head ‘no’ with his signature smirk on his face. Sighing, Kagome replied, “Ugh, fine… let me get a sweater or something.”

Inuyasha nearly jumped for joy when she agreed, however reluctantly. He put his hand into his pocket and gripped a small object tightly… almost afraid it would disappear right in his hand. His other hand began to sweat and he asked himself what was he so afraid of? Why am I so nervous?

Kagome grabbed a long, oversized black sweater from a duffel bag she borrowed from Miroku. Throwing it on she followed Inuyasha down the two flights of stairs and snuck past Miroku and Sango in the living room then out the front door which closed with a slam.

Giggling like mad, Kagome grabbed Inuyasha’s hand and ran into the woods once more that day. It had become a safe haven for them; somewhere they could go and not be disturbed. Just the two of them.

After walking a while Kagome began to notice familiar trees and rocks. Even in the dark she knew where they were headed, and she immediately felt her face flush at the memory. They were going to the glistening lake from a couple days ago.

“I’ve already told you I refuse to go skinny dipping with you, he he.” She laughed nervously, trying to break the quiet that seemed to have seeped in since running from the house.

Inuyasha, she noted, had kept unusually quiet, even for his brooding self. He seemed to be staring off into space, not realizing where they were headed almost. When he didn’t respond to her obvious attempts at a conversation she became quiet and let the soothing sounds of the night wash over her.

To her left there was a barn owl, hooting, looking for a midnight snack no doubt. She couldn’t see the owl through the dark and the thickness of tree trunks and brush, but she could still hear its call.

The clouds shifted above her and soon the crescent moon above them lighted their way, and off in the distance the lake sparkled like a jewel. Kagome smiled, thinking that there were thousand of diamonds strewn across the lake, glistening under the light. She was a romantic after all.

If Inuyasha were the romantic type then I would think he’d try to woo me tonight. Unfortunately, Kagome paused to look at the grin on Inuyasha’s face. Unfortunately, he’s just a pervert, not a romantic. Kagome sighed despairingly as they reached the lake and walked to the edge of the dock.

They both sat down letting their legs dangle over the dock’s edge and watched the wind blow across the surface of the water. Kagome gazed at the boulder and then at the cigarette butts and beer bottles she found the other day. Once more a wave of depression washed over her as she remembered her so called friends and her not so friendly interlude with Crystal Meth.

“Kagome,” Inuyasha began to speak softly. “Did you know that there is a rare stone on Earth that is see-through and glitters like diamonds when under moonlight?”***

“What?” She asked, baffled by his question. “No, no I didn’t.”

“Well there is. I don’t know what the stone is called, actually. To be honest I don’t know how rare it is. I’ve only ever seen one of them.”

“You’ve seen one of these stones?” Kagome asked. She had no idea where this was leading.

“Not only have I seen one, I have one.” Inuyasha reached into his pocket and pulled out an object. In his hand was a small crystal, no bigger than a yen piece. It was white and smooth. It looked like an ordinary quartz crystal.

“That’s just a quartz crystal, Inuyasha. Sure it’s pretty, but I wouldn’t say it glitters.”

Inuyasha smiled and placed the stone into Kagome’s hand. “Hold it up to the moon then tell me it doesn’t glitter.”

Kagome did as he said and gasped. The second the crystal was held up to the moon it became transparent. The inside sparkled and glittered all sorts of different colors, ranging from red to blue to yellow and to exotic colors like turquoise and ruby. The most amazing part of the crystal was that the colors seemed endless and in motion.

It was an array of color she had never seen before. There was only one word for a crystal like this.

“It’s beautiful!” She exclaimed, almost breathless.

“Yeah, it is. It doesn’t look like that during the day. It only looks like that when you hold it up to the moon. Otherwise it looks just like a regular quartz crystal. That’s why I asked if you wanted to take a walk tonight, Kagome. The moon is brightest out here, and especially by the lake because of its reflection.”

“It truly is gorgeous, Inuyasha. Where did you find this?” Kagome asked.

“I didn’t find it. My mother gave it to me when I was really young, before I knew what it really was. My father gave it to my mother when they…” Inuyasha paused and searched for a word. He couldn’t use the word he wanted. Not yet. “…when they met.”

“That’s so sweet!”

“Yeah, but you know what my mother told me when she gave it to me?”

“What did she say?” Kagome asked.

“My mother said it was a gift from my father. A gift of courage and trust. Kind of like a lucky charm, I guess. She told me that whenever I was scared I was to look at the crystal for courage. She said it would protect me even in the darkest of nights. If I were to get lonely, I would only have to look at the crystal and I wouldn’t be lonely anymore. She said it was a crystal of guidance.”

Kagome was speechless. It was such a odd thing for Inuyasha to let go and reveal some part of his past. To share something like this with her… well, she didn’t know what it meant.

“I want you to have it, Kagome.”

“WHAT!?” Kagome said a bit too loud. Inuyasha cringed from the close proximity and covered his ears. “I’m sorry! I forgot! Inuyasha… I can’t have this! This was your mothers! It sounds so special! I couldn’t possibly accept something so meaningful to you!”

“Well, you’re gonna have to, angel, because I’m not taking it back!”

“But-“

“I’m giving it to you because of what my mother said. You know, just in case you get scared or lonely or you’re in need of guidance. It means a lot to me, yes, but I don’t need the guidance or the courage anymore. That’s why I want you to have it.”

“But you’re still lonely. You can still look at the stone when you’re lonely.” Kagome said, positive she wasn’t worthy of such a sentimental gift.

“True, but I’m a hanyou. I’ll always be lonely. There’s nothing I can do about that except accept that fact and get on with life.” Inuyasha paused. “I want you to have it.”

“I’m not worthy of such a gift, Inuyasha. But, thank you very much for it anyway.”

Kagome looked at Inuyasha’s face and noticed he was purposely staring across the lake to avoid looking her in the eye. She was surprised to see him so serious and solemn that her heart skipped a beat when she realized how much it meant to him.

After a few moments of silence Kagome sighed and scooted closer to Inuyasha for warmth. She rested her head on his shoulder and let her eyes drift shut with a small, lazy smile on her face thankful he didn’t pull away and thankful already for the courage her new gift had given her.

Inuyasha wrapped his arm around her small frame and pulled her in even closer, savoring every moment.