A Love That Transcends Time: Book I
folder
InuYasha › Het - Male/Female › InuYasha/Kagome
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
49
Views:
14,154
Reviews:
338
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
InuYasha › Het - Male/Female › InuYasha/Kagome
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
49
Views:
14,154
Reviews:
338
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Inuyasha or the characters in it, nor do I make profit from this story. Everything else is the product of my over-active imagination.
~*~Zutto Kimi no Soba de~*~
~*~ Ok, I'm back again! Wowee, now I have 1000+ people reading my fic!!! And I have 27 reviews!!! You guys just made my day, no probably my whole week. I'm delirious! *with tears of gratitude in my eyes* I owe you guys a lot...
To ReiHino: Once again, my never-tiring reviewer. Thanx for the support and the giggles I get reading your notes. I could never thank you enough for everything. Love ya lots!
To catesy: Thanx for reviewing me again. And well, Kagome didn't get to have her bath, but hey look at the brighter side, huh? *wink, wink*
To Ickabod 119: You're becoming one of my constant reviewers, and I thank you for it. As for Inuyasha having a smart side, let's just say it's the one who told him to love Kagome and the works. hehehe. Thanx for the praises and hope you'll review me again!
To nina: Thanx for one of the most wonderful reviews I had. This one means a lot 'coz you really noticed the difference I was trying to make for my lemons. Hope you'll enjoy reading till the end and to review me again. Love ya lots!
To KagoKitty: Thanx again for the review, and like I said to Ickabod 119, the smart side is probably the one who figured out he loves Kagome and will probably keep him from going to hell with Kikyou! *crosses fingers*
To MystefiedStarlight: Thanx for taking the time to write, and I do love what you said. *blushyyymeee* hehehe. Hope you'll get to review again, and I promise to keep up with my work. Love ya lots!
To Snowfall: Thanx for the review, and I hope you'll enjoy reading this fic of mine 'till I finish it.
To Mija: Welcome back! you're one of my very first reviewers and I thank you so much for it. Thanx for the acclaims you've given me, it made my toes tingle reading your review. So I hope you can read more often, and of course review more often too. hehehe. Love ya lots!
And to all of you again reading this: Thanx a lot for making the hits go up to a thousand! I promise to give my best to this story of mine. So enjoy reading and love ya lots!!!~*~
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha... I share. ^_^
~*~Chapter 8—Zutto Kimi no Soba de~*~
He laid back on the grass, still holding Kagome in his arms, her back to his chest. She was almost half-asleep as the sunshine and the cool breeze warmed their wet bodies. They were content to stay like that: quiet but enjoying their closeness nonetheless.
Both of them were thinking prettch och on the same lines: How last night changed everything…
“Kagome?” Inuyasha whispered into her ears.
“Hmm?”
“Are you still awake?”
She nudged him with her elbow.
“Of course I’m still awake. Haven’t done anything stressful to make me sleepy,” she teased him, striving for lightheartedness.
Inuyasha swatted her bottom in retaliation, making her blush and squeak in surprise. They were grinning like idiots when Inuyasha sobered up suddenly. He turned her around to face him.
“Do you think we could talk?”
“About what?” Kagome asked, feeling afraid of the rejection and denunciation she could almost hear coming from him.
“About you. Me. Us. Last night and this morning,” he said seriously.
“But first, I want to ask about the nightmares you’ve been having. And what happened for this past two weeks, Kagome? It was like you’ve changed,”
“I understand my dreams now, Inuyasha. At least I think I do. It’s some kind of premonition or something. I’m sorry for worrying you and everyone else too, but I had to do it to clear things up for me. I hope you understand,” she explained, a bit of pleading entering her voice.
“I understand, Kagome. And I’m sure the others will too after you explain to them. But what exactly are your dreams about?
Silence. The only sounds were the grass and trees’ leaves as they rustle in the wind.
“Kagome? You don’t want to tell me do you?”
‘There she goes again, shutting me out. Fuck!’ he thought in defeat and disgust. He stood up, his back to her.
“Why won’t you trust me?” he asked her quietly, almost too softly for her to hear. But amazingly, she did. She also stood up and went to him, hugging him from behind.
“It’s not that! Never that, Inuyasha. You must know by now that I trust you in everything, not least of all which is my life,” she said as she felt him covering her hands with his.
“It’s just that I’m still not sure what it really is or when it’s going to happen. I don’t want to worry you any further. All I know is that something terrible is coming, and I will do everything in my power to stop it,” Kagome said, unconsciously tightening her embrace around him.
He turned and faced her, before enfolding her close to his heart.
“If you haven’t noticed, I trust you too,” Inuyasha told her.
‘Not just with my life, but my heart as well,’ he thought as he gave her a lopsided grin.
“So now I’m just going to trust you again. Trust you to know what’s right. I know that when you’re ready, you’ll tell me. So I won’t push you. Just please… please don’t shut me out again. I can’t go through another one of these without going crazy,” he said, the hurt he so tried hard to conceal revealed itself in his voice.
“I’m so sorry, Inuyasha. I never meant to hurt you. That wasn’t my intention. It’s just that things were getting to me. And I was so scared; scared enough to say such awful words and causing you so much pain. Please forgive me,” she said while lifting his hand to her lips.
He could feel her trembling and felt the hot drops of her tears.
“Sshhh, don’t think about it anymore. I’m ok now, everything’s fine. I survived. Just don’t do it again, all right?” he said gently, making an effort to kid her. She nodded, still crying.
“Dammit, Kagome. Stop crying, onegai. I hate it when you cry, bitch,” he said in his upset, catching a tear on his fingertip.
They gazed into each other’s eyes; molten gold meeting esoteric azure. He could feel his heart overflowing with so much love for her, that he opened his mouth to tell her…
‘Now is my chance to tell her how much she means to me,’
“Kagome, I lo—“ but before he could finish, she clamped her hand tight to his mouth, stopping him.
Her eyes were closed, more tears flowing from them.
“Oh God, to hear him say it… But no, I can’t let him,” Kagome thought in distress as she cried harder.
He removed her hand from his mouth and in a puzzled tone asked her why.
“You don’t have to tell me, Inuyasha. It’s enough for me that I know and I feel it,” she answered, her face revealing a sad but beautiful smile.
“But I—“
“Yamete! She interrupted him; her eyes now open to reveal her anguish.
“I can’t let you say it. Can’t you see? I’m content with now, with what you can give me and what you’re making me feel. Happy just to be here, this way, with you; not asking for anything in return for what I’ve given up to you and offered you with all my heart. And hoping for nothing more. But once you give me the words…” her voice faltered, and she closed her eyes once more.
She opened them again, and the depth of emotion he saw there; her love for him apparent, took his breath away. She framed her face in his hands as she spoke.
“Once you give me the words, nothing can stop me from thinking that you belong with me, that we’re meant to be. I’ll never give you up to her, and fight her for you ‘till the end. But I know it just won’t be right. If I win, and I know I can if I pushed you far enough, you get to stay with me and we can be together. But at what cost? You having to break your word to her. I can’t do that to you; make you hate yourself and spend your lifetime—our lifetime—regretting the choices you made for my sake. If I do that, then I’m no better than Kikyou. I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH INUYASHA, to think of my own selfish dreams. That’s why I can’t let you say it… no matter how much I long to hear you tell me…”
The hanyou couldn’t speak. His first thought was that what happened to them changed nothing between them. That she hadn’t felt the way he did; like being reborn once more from knowing that he had her and that she loved him.
“I was wrong. She loves me, but it wasn’t enough. What I gave her isn’t enough; I was not enough,” he thought bitterly as he found himself cursing whatever it is that turned him into who he was— a filthy, worthless half-breed.
He closed his eyes from the pain he was feeling at her rejection of his love. Then he blinked them hard as her words registered in his mind:
~I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH INUYASHA, to think of my own selfish dreams. That’s why I can’t let you say it… no matter how much I long to hear you tell me…~
Shaken by the truth, he mimicked her actions, cradling her face in between his hands. He proceeded to kiss her with all the passion, the longing and the love he was feeling for her with every fiber of his being.
‘I may not be able to tell her… but this, she can’t deny me,’ he told his self as he poured all he had into that one kiss.
More tears streamed down Kagome’s face as she felt it rush into her.
‘Even though I forbade him to say it, he wants to show me. To let me feel that he really does— LOVE ME,’ she thought as she was overcome with emotion.
She felt something hot and wet spill to her hands, and knowing that the tears were different from hers; she opened her eyes in surprise.
Her hanyou—her Inuyasha… crying.
She broke the kiss and coaxed his head to her breasts, making him kneel in front of her. She comforted him, as she always wanted to do whenever she saw him like this…
Inuyasha could feel her break their kiss, her hands moving to touch his hair and draw him to her heart. He didn’t open his eyes, afraid of seeing her disgust.
‘Why the fuck do I have to cry now? I’m such a weakling,’ he berated his self in disgust.
Yet no matter how hard he tried to stop, he just couldn’t. The cries turned into howls, as heart wrenching as the last time he cried. But this time, he had Kagome…
He clutched her hard with every sob, every tear that escaped him, burying his face more deeply in her breasts. For this time, it was he who borrowed her strength.
He cried for all the lost chances; his past love, and his new one; shed tears over the future he cannot have with her but wished with all his might he could.
He wept over the callousness of the Fates to him, letting him experience a love that was so great, only to lose it over his own stupidity…
He knew that what she said were all true. He could live with her and be happy for a while, but the memories and the guilt of breaking his promise to Kikyou would forever haunt his soul… with her to suffer right along with him. And he could not do that either, knowing that he wouldn’t be what Kagome deserved without his honor and priles les intact.
Inuyasha just kept on crying, howling every now and then, as he thought of Kagome’s sacrifice for him.
‘She accepts that we cannot have a future together. She knows that one day, I will leave her to be with Kikyou, and she’ll set me free, not holding a grudge in her heart. It would be enough for her to know that I love her now, and I’m right here with her for the time being. Oh Gods, Kagome. I won’t just love you for now… but for always.’
She kneeled down with him and urged him to look at her.
“I now make my promises to you: I accept all of you, who you are now and whatever you may be; good or bad, strengths and weaknesses. I will love you because of that. I understand your past, your present… and your future without me without feeling anger towards you. It would be enough for me to be your present, to spend my days with you at least for a time before you fulfill your promises. Ai shite iru, Inuyasha… Watashi mo hoshii, zutto kimi no soba de… Don’t deny me this, onegai,” she whispered.
‘And I could not, would not, deny her her request. For it was also what I’ve been wishing for the moment I fell for her…’
~*~So did I made you guys cry again? *sniffles* I still have a hangover writing this chappy, esp. the whole part of Kagome's words. By the way, "Watashi mo hoshii zutto kimi no soba de" means "I want/ I wish to stay beside you for all time" in Japanese. I hope I got that right! I'm pathetic: I have Japanese blood and I live here in Japan now for almost 2 years, but I'm still hopeless in their language. Waah! So that's it. Hope you liked it, and please review again ok? Thanx for reading! tc!~*~
To ReiHino: Once again, my never-tiring reviewer. Thanx for the support and the giggles I get reading your notes. I could never thank you enough for everything. Love ya lots!
To catesy: Thanx for reviewing me again. And well, Kagome didn't get to have her bath, but hey look at the brighter side, huh? *wink, wink*
To Ickabod 119: You're becoming one of my constant reviewers, and I thank you for it. As for Inuyasha having a smart side, let's just say it's the one who told him to love Kagome and the works. hehehe. Thanx for the praises and hope you'll review me again!
To nina: Thanx for one of the most wonderful reviews I had. This one means a lot 'coz you really noticed the difference I was trying to make for my lemons. Hope you'll enjoy reading till the end and to review me again. Love ya lots!
To KagoKitty: Thanx again for the review, and like I said to Ickabod 119, the smart side is probably the one who figured out he loves Kagome and will probably keep him from going to hell with Kikyou! *crosses fingers*
To MystefiedStarlight: Thanx for taking the time to write, and I do love what you said. *blushyyymeee* hehehe. Hope you'll get to review again, and I promise to keep up with my work. Love ya lots!
To Snowfall: Thanx for the review, and I hope you'll enjoy reading this fic of mine 'till I finish it.
To Mija: Welcome back! you're one of my very first reviewers and I thank you so much for it. Thanx for the acclaims you've given me, it made my toes tingle reading your review. So I hope you can read more often, and of course review more often too. hehehe. Love ya lots!
And to all of you again reading this: Thanx a lot for making the hits go up to a thousand! I promise to give my best to this story of mine. So enjoy reading and love ya lots!!!~*~
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha... I share. ^_^
~*~Chapter 8—Zutto Kimi no Soba de~*~
He laid back on the grass, still holding Kagome in his arms, her back to his chest. She was almost half-asleep as the sunshine and the cool breeze warmed their wet bodies. They were content to stay like that: quiet but enjoying their closeness nonetheless.
Both of them were thinking prettch och on the same lines: How last night changed everything…
“Kagome?” Inuyasha whispered into her ears.
“Hmm?”
“Are you still awake?”
She nudged him with her elbow.
“Of course I’m still awake. Haven’t done anything stressful to make me sleepy,” she teased him, striving for lightheartedness.
Inuyasha swatted her bottom in retaliation, making her blush and squeak in surprise. They were grinning like idiots when Inuyasha sobered up suddenly. He turned her around to face him.
“Do you think we could talk?”
“About what?” Kagome asked, feeling afraid of the rejection and denunciation she could almost hear coming from him.
“About you. Me. Us. Last night and this morning,” he said seriously.
“But first, I want to ask about the nightmares you’ve been having. And what happened for this past two weeks, Kagome? It was like you’ve changed,”
“I understand my dreams now, Inuyasha. At least I think I do. It’s some kind of premonition or something. I’m sorry for worrying you and everyone else too, but I had to do it to clear things up for me. I hope you understand,” she explained, a bit of pleading entering her voice.
“I understand, Kagome. And I’m sure the others will too after you explain to them. But what exactly are your dreams about?
Silence. The only sounds were the grass and trees’ leaves as they rustle in the wind.
“Kagome? You don’t want to tell me do you?”
‘There she goes again, shutting me out. Fuck!’ he thought in defeat and disgust. He stood up, his back to her.
“Why won’t you trust me?” he asked her quietly, almost too softly for her to hear. But amazingly, she did. She also stood up and went to him, hugging him from behind.
“It’s not that! Never that, Inuyasha. You must know by now that I trust you in everything, not least of all which is my life,” she said as she felt him covering her hands with his.
“It’s just that I’m still not sure what it really is or when it’s going to happen. I don’t want to worry you any further. All I know is that something terrible is coming, and I will do everything in my power to stop it,” Kagome said, unconsciously tightening her embrace around him.
He turned and faced her, before enfolding her close to his heart.
“If you haven’t noticed, I trust you too,” Inuyasha told her.
‘Not just with my life, but my heart as well,’ he thought as he gave her a lopsided grin.
“So now I’m just going to trust you again. Trust you to know what’s right. I know that when you’re ready, you’ll tell me. So I won’t push you. Just please… please don’t shut me out again. I can’t go through another one of these without going crazy,” he said, the hurt he so tried hard to conceal revealed itself in his voice.
“I’m so sorry, Inuyasha. I never meant to hurt you. That wasn’t my intention. It’s just that things were getting to me. And I was so scared; scared enough to say such awful words and causing you so much pain. Please forgive me,” she said while lifting his hand to her lips.
He could feel her trembling and felt the hot drops of her tears.
“Sshhh, don’t think about it anymore. I’m ok now, everything’s fine. I survived. Just don’t do it again, all right?” he said gently, making an effort to kid her. She nodded, still crying.
“Dammit, Kagome. Stop crying, onegai. I hate it when you cry, bitch,” he said in his upset, catching a tear on his fingertip.
They gazed into each other’s eyes; molten gold meeting esoteric azure. He could feel his heart overflowing with so much love for her, that he opened his mouth to tell her…
‘Now is my chance to tell her how much she means to me,’
“Kagome, I lo—“ but before he could finish, she clamped her hand tight to his mouth, stopping him.
Her eyes were closed, more tears flowing from them.
“Oh God, to hear him say it… But no, I can’t let him,” Kagome thought in distress as she cried harder.
He removed her hand from his mouth and in a puzzled tone asked her why.
“You don’t have to tell me, Inuyasha. It’s enough for me that I know and I feel it,” she answered, her face revealing a sad but beautiful smile.
“But I—“
“Yamete! She interrupted him; her eyes now open to reveal her anguish.
“I can’t let you say it. Can’t you see? I’m content with now, with what you can give me and what you’re making me feel. Happy just to be here, this way, with you; not asking for anything in return for what I’ve given up to you and offered you with all my heart. And hoping for nothing more. But once you give me the words…” her voice faltered, and she closed her eyes once more.
She opened them again, and the depth of emotion he saw there; her love for him apparent, took his breath away. She framed her face in his hands as she spoke.
“Once you give me the words, nothing can stop me from thinking that you belong with me, that we’re meant to be. I’ll never give you up to her, and fight her for you ‘till the end. But I know it just won’t be right. If I win, and I know I can if I pushed you far enough, you get to stay with me and we can be together. But at what cost? You having to break your word to her. I can’t do that to you; make you hate yourself and spend your lifetime—our lifetime—regretting the choices you made for my sake. If I do that, then I’m no better than Kikyou. I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH INUYASHA, to think of my own selfish dreams. That’s why I can’t let you say it… no matter how much I long to hear you tell me…”
The hanyou couldn’t speak. His first thought was that what happened to them changed nothing between them. That she hadn’t felt the way he did; like being reborn once more from knowing that he had her and that she loved him.
“I was wrong. She loves me, but it wasn’t enough. What I gave her isn’t enough; I was not enough,” he thought bitterly as he found himself cursing whatever it is that turned him into who he was— a filthy, worthless half-breed.
He closed his eyes from the pain he was feeling at her rejection of his love. Then he blinked them hard as her words registered in his mind:
~I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH INUYASHA, to think of my own selfish dreams. That’s why I can’t let you say it… no matter how much I long to hear you tell me…~
Shaken by the truth, he mimicked her actions, cradling her face in between his hands. He proceeded to kiss her with all the passion, the longing and the love he was feeling for her with every fiber of his being.
‘I may not be able to tell her… but this, she can’t deny me,’ he told his self as he poured all he had into that one kiss.
More tears streamed down Kagome’s face as she felt it rush into her.
‘Even though I forbade him to say it, he wants to show me. To let me feel that he really does— LOVE ME,’ she thought as she was overcome with emotion.
She felt something hot and wet spill to her hands, and knowing that the tears were different from hers; she opened her eyes in surprise.
Her hanyou—her Inuyasha… crying.
She broke the kiss and coaxed his head to her breasts, making him kneel in front of her. She comforted him, as she always wanted to do whenever she saw him like this…
Inuyasha could feel her break their kiss, her hands moving to touch his hair and draw him to her heart. He didn’t open his eyes, afraid of seeing her disgust.
‘Why the fuck do I have to cry now? I’m such a weakling,’ he berated his self in disgust.
Yet no matter how hard he tried to stop, he just couldn’t. The cries turned into howls, as heart wrenching as the last time he cried. But this time, he had Kagome…
He clutched her hard with every sob, every tear that escaped him, burying his face more deeply in her breasts. For this time, it was he who borrowed her strength.
He cried for all the lost chances; his past love, and his new one; shed tears over the future he cannot have with her but wished with all his might he could.
He wept over the callousness of the Fates to him, letting him experience a love that was so great, only to lose it over his own stupidity…
He knew that what she said were all true. He could live with her and be happy for a while, but the memories and the guilt of breaking his promise to Kikyou would forever haunt his soul… with her to suffer right along with him. And he could not do that either, knowing that he wouldn’t be what Kagome deserved without his honor and priles les intact.
Inuyasha just kept on crying, howling every now and then, as he thought of Kagome’s sacrifice for him.
‘She accepts that we cannot have a future together. She knows that one day, I will leave her to be with Kikyou, and she’ll set me free, not holding a grudge in her heart. It would be enough for her to know that I love her now, and I’m right here with her for the time being. Oh Gods, Kagome. I won’t just love you for now… but for always.’
She kneeled down with him and urged him to look at her.
“I now make my promises to you: I accept all of you, who you are now and whatever you may be; good or bad, strengths and weaknesses. I will love you because of that. I understand your past, your present… and your future without me without feeling anger towards you. It would be enough for me to be your present, to spend my days with you at least for a time before you fulfill your promises. Ai shite iru, Inuyasha… Watashi mo hoshii, zutto kimi no soba de… Don’t deny me this, onegai,” she whispered.
‘And I could not, would not, deny her her request. For it was also what I’ve been wishing for the moment I fell for her…’
~*~So did I made you guys cry again? *sniffles* I still have a hangover writing this chappy, esp. the whole part of Kagome's words. By the way, "Watashi mo hoshii zutto kimi no soba de" means "I want/ I wish to stay beside you for all time" in Japanese. I hope I got that right! I'm pathetic: I have Japanese blood and I live here in Japan now for almost 2 years, but I'm still hopeless in their language. Waah! So that's it. Hope you liked it, and please review again ok? Thanx for reading! tc!~*~