Learning to live

Chapter 7

Knowledge

Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango and Kikyo sat in their little circle.

"I don't understand one thing. How can Kagome be Midoriko's reincarnation if the original soul resides within the Shikon no tama? Legend tells us that Midoriko's soul is still battling inside the jewel so it can't possibly be reincarnated." Miroku said slowly. Kikyo nodded in agreement.

"Part of Midoriko is within the gem. Her spiritual powers needed for battle remain within the jewel. That is why it still has such immense powers. The rest of her soul, the part not necessarily needed for battle was reincarnated. Kagome technically has only half a soul. When Kanna tried to draw Kagome's soul into her mirror and failed everyone assumed that it was one of two things. It was either because I held part of the soul in my possession or because her soul was large it that the mirror could not hold it. Both are false. I have possession of my own soul only. Kanna failed because the rest of Kagome's soul is within the jewel." She explained. Everyone sat silently for a long moment processing this new information. Sango broke the silence with a startled gasp.

"Naraku has the most jewel shards out of everyone. Does that mean he has a large part of Kagome's soul in his possession?" She asked. Miroku looked alarmed. Neither Inuyasha nor Kikyo seemed surprised by this question.

"Yes he does. But he remains ignorant of that fact. That is why our ruse is necessary. All he needs to do is closely examine Kagome and her connections with the jewel to find the truth. But she is nothing to him because he believes I am most precious to Inuyasha and he intends the exploit feelings. Naraku is a master of manipulation but he cannot use Kagome's soul against us if he doesn't know. Right now he is content to use me to get to Inuyasha. That is why Kagome is dubbed just a 'jewel shard detector'. If Inuyasha were to treat like he cares, even as a friend or sister Naraku might look closer at her. Any feelings at all are in danger of being exploited by him." She replied. Miroku and Sango sat in horrified silence, finally understanding the full extent of the problem. They could also see how it was completely necessary for Inuyasha to play the part of loving Kikyo and why he had to let Kagome believe it. Kagome was not someone who could convincingly lie to Naraku. "Now tell me of what is happening to Kagome right now."

Inuyasha left the telling of recent events to Sango and Miroku. Kikyo absorbed the new information deep in thought.

"Perhaps this works out to our advantage. Kagome is stronger being a demon but has still retained her miko powers. She is someone we can bring into battle now. And if she is mated to Sesshoumaru he will come out of obligation to his mate." She said slowly. She noticed how Inuyasha's ears drooped as she said this. "Your brother will not let his mate go into battle without him, I assume?"

Inuyasha shrugged.

"Probably not. He'll see it as his duty to go with her and protect her. Plus he also has a score to settle with Naraku." He replied. He stood and motioned to the others.

"Come on. We should get back to the palace. Kagome and Sesshoumaru are due back today." Kikyo stood and headed back into the woods. Sango and Miroku walked Inuyasha in silence for a long while. Finally Sango asked the question that her and Miroku have each been contemplating in silence.

"So Inuyasha do you really love Kagome? Was she the one you were going to choose?" She asked softly. Inuyasha glanced at her and looked forward again. He stopped walking for a moment.

"Yes." He said without looking at either Sango or Miroku and continued walking.

 

 

After dealing with Masako, Sesshoumaru headed to his own private hot springs near his room. He should have assumed that there would be remnants from his previous encounter with her but he didn't think it was that much. Women were so good at causing complications in his life.

The door to the springs opened and closed softly as Lenya walked in. Kneeling behind him and carefully poured a bucket of hot water down his hair and began to lather suds into the thick silver locks.

"I am sorry Sesshoumaru but you need help. I will not risk you raping Kagome. We will be lucky if this doesn't break her spirit when her memories return." She said softly. Sesshoumaru grunted causing Lenya to smile. She was forgiven but he was still irritated with her.

Lenya was rinsing off his hair when the door opened and Kagome stood there. Dressed in a kimono for dinner. She looked surprised to see Lenya rinsing Sesshoumaru's hair.

"I'm sorry. I should have knocked. I was just wondering if you were going down to dinner Sesshoumaru." She said staring at the floor. Sesshoumaru allowed Lenya to dump one more bucket of water down the back of his hair before rising from the steaming water.

"I will be dressed in a moment Kagome." He said dismissing her with a wave of his hand while he toweled off. Kagome's face flushed with his obvious lack of modesty and she backed out of the room. Lenya left the room with her and proceeded to lie out clothing for Sesshoumaru.

"Lenya, can I ask you something?" Kagome whispered. Lenya nodded. "Are you and Sesshoumaru….I mean do you have feelings for him?" She said blushing. Lenya looked up at her surprised and burst out laughing.

"I love him very dearly but not like you are worried about. Sesshoumaru…. he's the brother I never had. I was born only a few months after he was. We trained together, we were educated together, 'She leaned towards Kagome with a playful smirk on her face, "I'm even told we took our baths together as children." She said with a mock grimace. Kagome laughed. "He is my brother in all but blood. So yes I love him but mating with him is just a horrifying thought." She said grimacing for real. Kagome sighed softly, obviously relieved.

Sesshoumaru emerged from the bathing room in his naked glory causing Kagome to turn red and look away. Lenya rolled her eyes and tossed the bundle of clothing at Sesshoumaru.

"Put some clothes on Sesshoumaru. You're going to make poor Kagome faint." She said while leaving the room. Kagome went to follow but Sesshoumaru's voice stopped her.

"Wait here Kagome. I have something for you." He said while slipping into his clothing. Once dressed, he moved to a table and picked up a parcel wrapped up. He handed it to Kagome. "I saw you looking at it." Kagome looked surprised as she used her claws to cut the strings holding the bundle together. She didn't know what to expect but it was not the landscape kimono she saw while in the Northern lands. She stared speechlessly at the priceless silk garment in her hands. "You like it?" He asked quietly.

"I…Yes of course. It was so beautiful. I just…wasn't expecting this. I…." She looked up at him, a large smile on her face. "Thank you Sesshoumaru!" She said hugging him tightly. He wrapped an arm around her before taking the silk from her hands. Undoing her obi he took the outer layer of her kimono off and helped her into the new one. He tied the obi securely and turned her around to face him. She was radiant in her happiness. She noticed the slight tilting of his lips. Not a full smile but enough for her to see how pleased he was that she liked his gift. Leaning up she shyly gave him a chaste kiss before taking his arm and heading down to dinner with him.

Sesshoumaru watched Kagome through dinner out of the corner of his eye. She was extremely happy and wasted no time showing off her kimono to Sango, Lenya and Rin. It filled him with pride to know that he could make her happy. He was beginning to think perhaps things would work out with her after all.

 

 

Masako sat in her room. She had refused to go down to dinner knowing she would see Sesshoumaru with his mate. Instead she stayed in her rooms, making an elixir that would help numb the physical desire between Sesshoumaru and Kagome. She sighed as ground herbs into a paste.

'It isn't fair.' She thought. 'I was here first. I was here before this Kagome was even born.'

Setting her mortar and pestle on the table in front of her she leaned her head back.

She was there in the room with Sesshoumaru's mother as she gave birth. A witch usually assisted the midwife with demon lord birthings. Their magicks have saved an heir more than once. Not to mention her powers could greatly help the lady physically recover from giving birth.

She had wrapped up the infant male and brought him to the western lord.

"You have a healthy son, my lord." She had said smiling at him. He sighed in happiness and laid his palm the brow of his child.

"Your name, little one, shall be Sesshoumaru. Rouse the western lands and invite our allies to celebrate the birth of my son and heir." He said taking the swaddled infant. "How is my mate handling childbirth?"

"She is well my lord. She will make a full recovery. I shall assist her all I can to ensure that she is able to see to her duties as your mate." Masako assured her lord. He waved her comment aside with his hand.

"There is no hurry." He said as he paced around the room, watching his newborn son in his arms.

Masako grit her teeth and continued to work away with her magic and herbs.

 

 

"How very interesting." The cool voice said to no one in particular. A small child dressed all in white held the small mirror so her master could see the images that danced in its depths. "The might lord Sesshoumaru has taken Kagome as his mate."

Kanna nodded once. "It seems that way master." She whispered. Naraku let a sadistic smile grace his lips as he considered the events before him.

"Oh how the mighty fall. She will be Sesshoumaru's undoing. I can use her to get to him but only if the opportunity is right. Kanna, go and fetch Kikyo. I must find out more about this situation. And send Kohaku and Kagura to keep and eye on things. We mustn't rely on Kikyo only." He ordered. Nodding the white-clad child rose to her feet and headed out of the room.

Naraku did not have to wait long before Kikyo entered the room.

"I am not yours to summon and order and around Naraku. I help you because I choose to. I serve my own goals not yours." She said venomously. Naraku smirked.

"You will do as I want Kikyo I have no questions about that. Now tell me everything you know about Kagome's new mate."

"What makes you think I know anything about her?" She asked defiantly. Naraku chuckled.

"Inuyasha foolishly believes your every word. You have his trust and I know that you know more than you let on." He said as he backhanded her so hard she was knocked to the floor. An evil grin settled on his face as he stared down at Kikyo.

 

 

Sesshoumaru examined the small flask that sat on his desk in front of him.

"You are sure this will work?" He asked raising an eyebrow skeptically. Masako looked slightly offended.

"Of course I am sure. Look I know you blame me for what happened to your father but it was just a bad situation all around. Trust me if there is one thing I know its elixirs. This will do exactly what you want it to. If will make the physical desire you have for you mate numbed. The only thing is it must be drunk by both of you." She said.

"Why?"

"Because of your bond with Kagome works both ways. She wants you just as much as you want her. You can't numb just one side of it. Both sides have to be shut down for maximum effectiveness. Also it must be drunk every day. I have already prepared a larger amount. The flask is just for convenience. A single sip is all that is needed." She explained. Sesshoumaru nodded and reached into a drawer of the desk and pulled out a leather pouch full of coins. He sat it down close to Masako.

"Payment for your services." He said before turning his attention back down to the paper in front of him. Masako sighed, taking the pouch and leaving the room. Closing the door to her room she let herself lean against it.

"Inu no Taisho, you allies have grown angry over your human mistress. The one who carries your half-demon child. They are preparing an attack, claiming that you have lost your power, your fighting spirit because of your love for a human woman." Masako said, glancing up at her lord from the table. She set down a letter she had been holding. 'Your spies confirm the southern and eastern lands are readying their army and preparing to invade."

"My strength is not determined by the fact that I love a human woman. They just don't understand. How can I prove my strength to them Masako?" He asked softly. Masako hesitated.

"I am hardly someone to advise you in military terms my lord. Allow me to fetch.." She started to say but was interrupted.

"You are certainly not military efficient. But you understand much more of the world than you let on. Cast the stones for me and tell me what they say." He commanded. When Masako paled he turned and smiled at her, 'I know the risks. Now tell me what they say."

Hesitantly Masako picked up several stones of different material, size and color. Whispering words of magic she tossed them into the air and allowed them to fall. Studying the stones she answered, "Your best chance to prove yourself and halt any invasion would be to defeat an enemy to all the youkai lords. One who has troubled them to no end but they have not been able to defeat. That would prove beyond a doubt that Izayoi has not weakened you. But we warned my lord. This battle will be unlike anything you have faced before. You endanger your life greatly. There is no guarantee that you will live through it." She warned.

"So one that has troubled all youkai lords but has not yet been able to be defeated. That leaves very few to choose from. I can only think of two candidates." He said thoughtfully. "The first would be yourself Masako. The second would be Ryukotsusei. For your aid you will be considered friend and ally of the west Masako. I will offer you asylum in my lands." He said smiling as Masako looked overjoyed. "Inform my son where I have gone. I trust you will see to Izayoi when her time is here." He said watching as Masako nodded and bowed before him.

"I will my lord. I hope you will be back soon victorious." She said softly. Inu no Taisho turned to leave but paused.

"In the event that I don't return please implore Sesshoumaru to look after his sibling. And take care of him. He is fond of you." He said before turning and headed out the door.

"If only it was true. He might have been fond of me but not enough to keep him from blaming your death on me and Inuyasha." She whispered to herself. Going over to her bed she curled up in a ball and wept until she fell asleep.

 

 

Sesshoumaru hesitated at the door in front of him. Normally with this being his home he would just walk right in. He was unsure of how Kagome would take that though. He settled for lightly knocking than opening the door to let himself in. He found Kagome sitting at the desk in her room, reading one of the many scrolls he had ordered put there. He sat down opposite of her and set two flasks down on the table between them.

"I wish to speak to you about this." He said quietly as she set her scroll aside. Frowning she studied the small flash. There didn't seem to be anything special about it.

"What is it?" She asked picking it up and swirling around the dark liquid within.

"It is something that I believe may help us. You have no doubt felt the pull our bond. Events in the northern lands have led me to believe that you are far for ready for intimacy between us. This is an elixir I had created for us. It will help numb our bond and urges that come with it. We can lead normal lives as we did before the mark." He explained. Kagome's frown deepened.

"I've been thinking about that Sesshoumaru. Would it…would it be such a bad thing to let nature takes its course? I mean we're mates…I know the flashbacks and stuff was really bad timing but I…I think I'm ready for that. I know…that you may not love me, but you also wouldn't hurt me the way Inuyasha did either. I think I can handle us…doing that." She said, her cheeks flushing a little. Sesshoumaru stared at her for a long moment. This he had not expected.

"No Kagome. I gave you my word that I would never expect that from you and I intend to keep it. Until I am sure that your…attack is completely a thing of the past I will not considered taking that course of action with you." He said firmly. "Your 'flashbacks' prove you are not yet ready to handle a relationship like this. A small sip of this everyday will enable to us to live normally, until you are ready." His tone left no room for arguing and Kagome picked up on that. Sighing she picked up her small flask and opened it. Taking a small sip she watched Sesshoumaru drink from his.

"Can I ask one thing?" She asked staring at the top of the small table. After receiving a yes she asked her question, "Is it really about what happened to me? Its not…that you don't like me?"

"Kagome, you are very much pleasing in all ways. You are strong, loyal and beautiful. The urge to take you is getting stronger and I have no intentions of letting my instincts get out of hand and causing you harm. This is for your protection not because I do not want you." He said taking her chin in his hand and gently forcing her to look him in the eye so she was sure he was telling the truth. She smiled in relief at him.

"I'm glad. I was worried." She said softly. Rising to his feet he bid her goodnight before heading to his rooms.

 

 

Lenya was waiting his rooms when he got there.

"This wont solve anything long term you know." She said without preamble.

Sesshoumaru uttered a low growl. He was fed up with her second-guessing his every move.

"It is not about solving anything long term Lenya. I have had enough with you interfering in my relationship with Kagome. She is my mate and I will deal with her." He said a forced calm voice.

"You are not dealing with anything. You are simply ignoring the problem. She has amnesia about her rape and you are doing nothing for her. Can you not see how much she trusts you? You must be the one to help her through this. Instead you hire Masako to fix up a potion so you can continue to ignore the problem. Since when are you this cowardly?" She said loudly in anger. Sesshoumaru moved so quickly even Lenya's demon sight could not follow him. She found herself up against the wall by her throat. The crimson eyes of Sesshoumaru glared into her as she struggled to try and loosen his grip.

"You have crossed the line Lenya. This is the last time we speak of this or you will not speak at all for the rest of your days. And do not think our past history will spare you. Now get out of my sight." With that he threw her from the room, slamming the door once he was free of her. With an angry sigh he began to undo his armor.

 

 

Masako awoke feeling something off in the castle. Sesshoumaru's demon aura was agitated. Leaving her room she made her way to where his room used to be. The wall directly across from the door had a large dent in it. The scent of a fearful Lenya lingered in the hallway. Masako hesitated before slipping into the bedroom.

There she found the demon lord undoing his armor and setting it down. He paused when he saw her.

"Are you alright Sesshoumaru?" She asked softly. He merely stared at her as she sighed from lack of response. "Lenya acting a little casual with your affairs again?" This time she received a nod. "Its too bad Kagome can't take care of your needs. If I remember correctly the occasional fling used to do wonders to calm you down." She said smiling as she made her way closer to him, remembering old times.

Masako lay sprawled out on the bed before him. His eyes feasted upon her naked flesh as he crawled up the bed towards her. She smiled sweetly as he trailed his tongue down the center of her chest. Running her fingers through his thick silver hair she sighed in contentment.

"Sesshoumaru…do you have to leave this bed?" She asked pouting softly. His face remained fairly impassive but a certain playful gleam in his eyes made her laugh in delight.

"Not for some time Masako. I will have duties to perform before long though. As my father's heir there is always work to be done." He replied allowing his skilled fingers to travel south of her hips, watching her sigh and groan with pleasure.

"I'm glad you still have time for playing though." She whispered. His lips curved upwards slightly as he leaned over her and joined their bodies at the hips.

Sesshoumaru paused as Masako carefully put his armor and swords away. She came to stand by him and undid his clothing. Once naked she guided him to sit down on the edge of the bed. She climbed on the bed behind him and began to brush his long silver hair. Sesshoumaru sighed and leaned his head back, allowing his tense muscles to relax.

"It seems like it was only yesterday when I last did this. You'd come to my rooms fresh from combat training. Your hair was always a mess." She said smiling. Sesshoumaru nodded slightly.

"You'd tell me I stunk of sweat and needed a bath." He added listening to Masako laugh.

"That's right. I'd forgotten that. Once you were clean I used to tease you saying you smelt of a wet dog. And than we'd…." She trailed off and cleared her throat. "Your mate seems nice, if a little naïve."

"She is."

Masako finished brushing out the silver locks and set the brush down. Moving to the side she gently pulled his shoulders until he was lying down. She leaned over him and gently pressed her lips to his.

"Masako…I have a mate." He said in a warning tone.

"Relax Sesshoumaru. The elixir numbs everything between you two. She will never know. And you need to get this frustration out of your system. Your mother and father did it all the time." She whispered. Before giving him a chance to protest she gently lowered her mouth to him. Sesshoumaru let out an involuntary gasp as felt her warm mouth close around him. His hand tangled in her dark red hair as she continued to pleasure him. She continued for several moments before he was unable to stand it anymore. Getting to his feet in a flash he grabbed her and lay her down on the bed. Covering her body with his own he leaned down and kissed her. It would be so easy to end the frustration right here and now. He began to undo her clothes.

That was when they noticed Kagome standing in the doorway, a tear slipping down her cheek as she saw the scene before her. At loss Sesshoumaru reached out a hand towards her, "Kagome" He said softly. She turned around and fled down the hall. Cursing Sesshoumaru grabbed at his clothes and pulled them on hastily.

"Just leave her Sesshoumaru. She'll come back when she is ready to face you." Masako said still lying on his bed.

"Leave Masako. If you are still here when I return I will kill you." He said as he strapped on his swords and took off after his mate. She watched the spot where he had been sighing. She truly had been ousted for Kagome. Grabbing her clothes she left the western palace.

Sesshoumaru followed Kagome's scent out into the woods. He had no clue what to say or do when he found her. The salty smell of tears mixed into Kagome's natural scent.

He finally stopped near a small clearing. A tiny brook ran through it and Kagome was seated near the edge, crying quietly, her back to him. He approached slowly.

"Stay there. I don't want to see you Sesshoumaru." She said without turning around. For the first time in his life he could feel guilt and regret gnawing at him. He knelt down on the grass a few feet behind her.

"I make no excuses for what just happened Kagome. You have my apologies." He said quietly. She scoffed.

"Maybe you should try saying it like you mean it." She said the anger in her voice was unable to conceal the hurt. "You know I really thought you would never hurt me the way Inuyasha did. But it turns out you are just like him." Sesshoumaru grit his teeth in anger as she got to her feet. "I am going back to the bone eaters well. I am going home."

"When will you return?" He asked looking up at her. Staring up at the stars she shrugged.

"I don't know." She began to walk out of the clearing in the basic direction of Inuyasha's forest. She paused at the tree line. "Why? Why did you refuse me and go back to your room with her?"

"I did not plan this Kagome. Masako and I have a history together. It just happened. As I said, I make no excuses for what happened. It happened, I was a part of it. I did not plan it though. Masako might have but I had no intention of doing something of that nature." He said coolly.

"But you would have, had I not interrupted you." She said softly.

"Yes. Kagome you feel the frustration of our unconsummated bond. The elixir will take time to work so you must still feel it." He replied. Kagome shook her head.

"It worked almost instantly for me. The desire, the frustration it was lifted within a few minutes of drinking the elixir." She said. Sesshoumaru froze.

"You mean to say yours worked right away?" He asked in a deadly calm voice. Kagome turned to face him nodding but looking confused.

"Yours didn't?"

"No. It got worse not long after. I assumed it would take a little time before we felt the effectiveness." He all but growled out. "Masako did something to mine." He gracefully rose to his feet. Holding out a hand to Kagome he said, "Please accompany me home. Let us see what Masako has done with my share of the elixir." Kagome hesitated but took his hand. A moment later they were flying through the air on his demon cloud towards the western palace.

As soon as they landed Sesshoumaru summoned Jaken.

"Where are Lenya and Masako?" He asked looking around.

"I am sorry Milord but they appear to have both left the palace. Masako ran into her room, gathered her belongings and fled. Lenya was seen some time before that running through the forests. She appeared to be angry." Jaken said bowing. Sesshoumaru walked towards Masako's rooms.

"No matter I will discover the truth for myself." He said. Kagome followed him. She understood he was most likely drugged so he would give into Masako. 'Who knew they had a date rape drug in this time?' she thought to herself.

 

 

"I see. So Sesshoumaru and Kagome are unable to consummate their relationship because of her rape. She does not remember it happening." Naraku said as he sat looking out a window of his castle. He caressed the nearly completed jewel as the woman before him spoke. "Have you managed to hear anything else of interest?"

"I heard the Miko's friends talking. I followed them into the woods. They are saying that Kagome is not the reincarnation of Kikyo." The bowing woman said. Naraku froze and turned his full attention to her.

"If she is not reincarnated from Kikyo than whom?" He asked.

"Someone named Midoriko." The woman answered. Naraku contemplated this for a long while before smiling sadistically.

"You have done well for bringing this information to me. I assure you that you shall have what you desire in the end." He said. "Now tell me your name woman." The woman bowing before him hesitated for a moment before answering.

"Lenya. My name is Lenya."

 

A/N: The next chapter probably wont be out for at least a week as I am still working on it. I got 5 pages written but its not done yet. Hopefully it'll be out soon! Please review! :)