My Precious

Author: Saraste
Series: My Precious, part 7 – Hot Blood
Pairing: Kouga/Miroku, past Inuyasha/Miroku
Rating: PG-13 fluff
Genre: romance, post-mpreg, fluff, angst
Warnings: slash, post-mpreg
Words: 3262
Disclaimer: The characters depicted in this work belong to Rumiko Takahashi and her affiliates and are used her to no profit.
A/N: This is for my dear friend Tas. She loves this one in particular and has been gently nudging me for an update.

- - - - -

As spring overcame winter completely and nature awoke to welcome new life, one wolf youkai found his life becoming more and unbearable. It was becoming utter torture as days, hours and minutes idled past and all he could do was watch. But he hardly got anything done, the way his mind was always focused on thinking about Miroku. All he managed was sitting outside the caves on his rock and attempting to look imposing to the tribe who laughed at him, all in good humour for their silliness but all the same laughing at him and the monk. Because Kouga would not touch Miroku if the monk did not show he returned his feelings, Miroku had been through enough already.

Kouga had promised himself that he would behave around him, even if it did make him seem ridiculous and maybe overly cautious. Even when he did think that maybe, just maybe, Miroku would be his if he'd just press the matter a bit, confront him. He was willing to give the man his space but recently, with all the tribe going mad around him with the spring coming at them full force, his resolve was wearing thin.

And today, as he saw Miroku walk by him, he did think to jump him, then and there. Decorum be damned.

Had the man really no shame at all? To walk around like that, flaunting his sexiness for the whole world to see? Kouga sighed. No matter that the monk's still lithe, a bit too lithe, body was covered in layers of dark cloth, Kouga himself the only one knowing what lay beneath. Miroku was still all too weary of his privacy and preferred to bathe alone, even in male company. So no-one of Kouga's tribe would know what he looked like nude but the wolf prince often found himself thinking that maybe they would try and picture it anyway. And then it was all downhill and the rest of that day ruined.

If only Miroku was his, already. He soon would be.

And as he watched the man walk by with Naoki, who seemed on his way into becoming a real friend for Miroku, Kouga had to push down his youkai. It was growling with jealousy, even when Naoki was happily mated. And there was never anything untoward in the way the pregnant male acted towards the human monk. Naoki was simply all too happy to share his happiness with Miroku, asking him endless questions about being a male 'mother', the monk answering most of them willingly. The friendship between the monk and the pregnant male youkai was harmless and born partially out of shared experiences, and it was good for Miroku who hadn't been able to share any of it with anyone. Yet Kouga envied Naoki his closeness with the pretty monk.

Because Miroku was still avoiding him. And had been for a whole two moons.

It had already been weeks upon weeks that Miroku had been with the wolves and Kouga was at his limit already. Couldn't think, eat, sleep, let alone hunt. Couldn't do anything but think of the monk and the way his hair shone in the sun and lips tilted up in a rare, but all the more exquisite, smile for it. And his ass, Kouga could stare at it all day. He'd even given up sharing the rare bath with Miroku because he was afraid the sight of his nudity would make him jump the monk, which would most likely be the case. Not that they'd even shared a bath in the hot springs nearby since the monk had begun avoiding him. He'd not even asked in weeks now, since the answer was always 'no'.

The whole tribe laughed at them. Mostly him, though. For they knew. Being youkai they could scent, could taste the tension between him and the monk, the air around them must sizzle with sex, unfulfilled lust. He'd even caught the monk off guard a few times. Had seen the way he'd looked at him, seen the man blush and look away. Gasp as if in pain. And then look down at his son and murmur. Apologize to his son and go on refusing happiness when the chance for it was his to grasp if he willed it. Miroku truly lived for his son.

He was still so broken, so torn.

Kouga wondered if he'd given an image in the past which accounted to his monk's distrust now. He'd asked Sango but she'd denied such a thing. She had said that she was certain that the monk trusted him. For Kouga had done so much for him, especially his precious small boy. He had taken them in, provided them shelter, a home where they wouldn't be shunned because it had been Miroku who had given birth to Shin. Or the fact that the boy was a hanyou. Shin was Miroku's most important person, the boy was his life and Kouga would be damned before he made the monk think that he'd try and sever that link. That he wanted to do nothing else but hold Miroku in his arms and welcome Shin as his son.

And Kouga would do it gladly. The boy might be young but Kouga could see the strength in him, the promise. He was an heir to the might of the West no matter the lengths his sire had gone to deny his offspring. Demean the man, the child's bearer whom he'd once called a lover.

Kouga couldn't forgive Inuyasha the way he'd handled the monk. Not ever. If he ever got his hands on the mutt, he'd hurt him like he'd hurt Miroku and more.

Kouga knew that Miroku could never forgive the hanyou. The monk hadn't said much but it was clear it had not been all happiness between him and Inuyasha, even at the beginning. And for the hanyou to demand that Miroku rid of the child because it was 'unnatural' for a man to bear a child, it had been the last straw for the monk. He'd refused and Inuyasha had left him, left him on the eve of a harsh winter. Miroku had found a place deep in the mountains to give birth to his child alone, save but the help of a local miko, a woman compassionate to his blight. Yet even with help, he had been alone, so alone with his grief, his son the only thing keeping him holding onto sanity.

And then Inuyasha had had the audacity to come back, seek him out.

Abandoning Miroku at the end of a chilly autumn with a toddler on tow, denouncing his own flesh and blood. Deaf to Miroku's pleading. The monk had had to spend another winter alone in the mountains in a lone hut, with a small child no less. All things which had led to the monk having been a mere shadow of his former self when Kouga had first met him alone on that road, torn over the unjustness of the world at large.

A stray to be given shelter by a kind stranger, a broken human stealing the heart of a youkai.

And that made it impossible for Kouga to keep his eyes off of the monk. He was enamoured, head over heels in love with Miroku. And the current state of things did little to help him to squash down his lust, rein in his want to pounce the man. As the spring had progressed, nature waking into new life, mating season was upon the Wolf tribe. The pack had been crazy this last moon, wolves and demons alike in heat. The closeness of the ookami and their yorouzoku made the youkai crazy too, eager and willing to breed, unleashing their inner beasts. It had begun some weeks after Miroku had come to the caves and had made the monk a bit uncomfortable at first but then he'd settled. And had become irresistible to Kouga.

It had been utter hell on the Wolf Prince. Everything in the monk screamed at him to take the man, make him into his mate. Woo him with words of utter adoration and kiss him senseless, show him how precious he was to him. Make Miroku acknowledge the connection between them, see the love that was already there. Already there how much Miroku denied to deny it and fight his feelings.

The pack had watched on and pitied him. For Miroku would not let him near. He was civil but kept a distance. Unwilling to let himself become involved with the wolf. When all that Kouga wanted to do was keep him safe, cradle him in his arms, make all that hurt disappear from his eyes. And ravage him, Kouga couldn't deny that urge. He wanted to make the monk forget all of the bad things which had happened to him and just let himself go, lose himself in the oblivion of being cherished. Kouga would never force him, of course, he'd never do that. Keeping his wolf at bay he wanted to woo the monk if he'd only let him. Lay him over a field of wild flowers and worship him and show him what love was like, what it could and should be like.

Mend him and try and not let sadness touch Miroku's life any more.

But still it was time to confront the monk, too. It had already been enough time that the man had avoided the wolf prince, with all the matings all around him and his burgeoning jealousy, he wasn't sure how long his resolve to not touch Miroku would last. So he needed to at least talk. Make the monk talk back to him and explain to him the hazardous effect his ignorance of the pull between was having on him.

Surely Miroku would know that he was paces away from being jumped all the time?

And not only by Kouga himself. Even when he'd asserted his interest towards the monk loud and clear, making the man unavailable for direct wooing, there were still looks. Miroku was a good catch even as a human, he was strong and could bear a child. And any member of Kouga's tribe could see that the one who'd help the man raise the child who would undoubtedly be next in line to inherit the title of Lord of the West would be in a high position.

The monk was a catch and not purely by his looks.

But he was weary. While he might be comfortable in knowing that he was safe at the caves, he was still to form very deep bonds. His renewed friendship with Sango, who had decided to stay until Miroku was properly settled, was still a bit tentative. Miroku was still refusin to talk much of the two years that he had been gone and alone. He didn't share any of the heartache that he must have felt over Inuyasha's abandonment of him. Nor of the utter loneliness of trying to cope with Shin and bear the resentment of the human populace near to where he'd been living alone. And Naoki, with whom Miroku had a budding friendship, he wasn't yet someone whom the monk would bear his soul to.

And to protect himself so that his son would be safe, Miroku refused to face his feelings towards Kouga and confide in him. Instead he bottled it all inside and cried. Kouga knew. Even when the monk thought that he was being secretive about it. The wolf sensed his moods keenly and could scent the salt of his tears. It was Kouga's only comfort. As much as Miroku did avoid him, he hadn't moved out of the cave given to him which was near his own. The trust that Kouga's kindness towards Miroku had built had not gone anywhere. The monk felt safe around Kouga.

And yet still so scared.

It was on that lovely spring afternoon that Kouga finally cornered the monk. Jumping down from his rock he followed Miroku as the man walked through the clearing near the cave's entrance and smirked happily as Naoki was whisked away by his loving mate for a romp in the nearby springs. Even while the dark haired young youkai male was heavy with child and would hold his own child in his arms come summer, his mate still found him utterly alluring and with mating season making the whole tribe crazy, took full advantage.

As did Kouga.

He quickly gained on Miroku, who had fallen into his thoughts walking slowly with Shin balanced on his hip on a scarf. Kouga fell into step with the monk as they walked under the newly leafed trees, the fresh foliage soft under their step. The ookami chief sighed.

“You can't ignore it forever, you know...” he said, glancing at Miroku. He saw the monk frown, his hand grip his son tighter against his side, seemingly just balancing the toddler against his hip better.

“Ignore what, pray tell?” Miroku countered, looking straight forward. He would not look at the wolf. If he did it would be his undoing. There would be no going back then. He'd be lost in those ice blue eyes and let himself get taken, sink into something he'd not dared hope could, would, happen to him again. He couldn't let himself. And still he wished that he could. His voice shook. The wolf was too close, too close.

“It's mating season...” Kouga answered. His breath caught in his throat. He was so close. And they were getting further and further from the caves. He wasn't sure he'd be able to contain himself. Keep his youkai in check. He kept thinking of the child in his beloveds arms. Yet all his mind screamed was for him to just ravage the monk, throw caution and sense into the winds. He looked at the monk, a soft spring breeze ruffling his raven locks and was mesmerized. Caught in the beauty that was the man before his eyes. The object of his desire, his lover.

“I know... Please can't we talk later, I'm too far...” Miroku asked, chancing a look at the wolf. For his soul screamed for him to look. His heart ached that he'd not allowed himself anything but looks in these past weeks. For he knew what the mating season would do for the wolf. Knew that Kouga's love for him wasn't just that, it had been there from the very beginning. That first day when there had still been melting snow on the ground in shadowy places and the green of nature had been dewy fresh. He'd known then. And he knew now.

They both felt the same and he was a fool to not let it happen.

And Kouga looked at him, and looked at him. Nature itself stopped, time stopped around them as they looked. And looked. Drinking at the sight of each other, eyes meeting for the look they'd both dreamed of for so long. Unflinching and unafraid they gazed deep into each other's souls and let themselves drown.

“Why can't you accept this?” Kouga asked sadly, taking a step forward. The monk did not move but stayed transfixed, staring at him like a cornered animal. Yet at the same time Miroku looked like he wanted to be caught, wanted to catch him, too.

“For Shin...,” the monk's voice was but a whisper as he inhaled rapidly, willing his pounding heart to settle. 'Think of Shin... Think of Shin... Think of Shin...' His mind was thinking on automatic as his traitorous leg took a step forward, lips parting and a tongue darting out to moisten them. Shin slept placidly against his hip, a good boy. “I can't let myself be hurt...I'm all that he has...”

The naked look of utter love in Kouga's eyes, the honesty that he'd always shown towards him were disarming. Miroku couldn't resist. He had to keep talking anyway, to try and not let things get out of hand.

More than they already were.

“But I love you, I'll never let anything harm you...” Kouga knew he was too close. His eyes glued to Miroku's now moist lips which moved so tantalizingly as the monk spoke. He couldn't wrench himself away. And he was too close and yet couldn't move away. His youkai was salivating and he had to throw his full force against it so as not to pounce Miroku, child or not. If he'd let his youkai free he'd just throw the man on the ground and claim him. Just because the child wasn't his, if he let his animal side take over it would only protect a pup of his own blood. Not another's. And then he'd lose Miroku.

Yet a kiss, he could have a kiss, could he? Would the beast be satisfied with that?

“...Miroku.”

“Kouga... please?” Miroku didn't even know what he was asking. All he knew was that Kouga was too near. He had wanted to keep a distance since he wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle himself otherwise. Too near and yet too far. If he accepted now, succumbed to his feelings and let spring whisk him from his feet, what would come of it? It had been the same, almost, with Inuaysha. He'd let himself sink and had gotten burned in the end.

He didn't want to be hurt again. Didn't want to jeopardize his situation here with the wolves who could give his son and him the protection that they needed. For he did fear Inuaysha. Feared that he'd come to his senses enough to realize that Shin was his flesh and blood even when he'd spurned his offspring and denied his existence. Another option was Sesshoumaru. Try and convince him all they might, with Kouga's tribe being in an alliance with the West, Miroku still wasn't sure if Shin would be welcomed by the Lord. Or if he was, would Sesshoumaru allow him, a human, to keep Shin and raise him. Raise the heir of the Western lands.

He needed to be safe, living an uneventful life among the wolves until Shin was old enough. He couldn't risk it.

Yet his body felt hot as Kouga drew near.

Suddenly it was too much. Kouga threw caution to the wind and grabbed Miroku. He drew his close and gently landed his lips over his. Miroku sighed into the kiss, sagging against Kouga's hold. His violet eyes drifted close as did the youkai's pale blue eyes. They simply enjoyed the moment, let themselves sink into the kiss. The tangible declaration of their feelings.

Standing amidst the trees they were a sight to behold. Miroku clung to Kouga as if he'd vanish if he let go, Kouga held his monk gently, afraid that he'd break.

Miroku's lips were so soft under his, so warm and pliant, so needy for love. The monk melted into the kiss and gave himself over and Kouga's youkai preened. It was strangely pacified by the kiss alone, it's urge to simply take the monk subsiding as the kiss lingered.

Yet as Miroku began to kiss back, something snapped in him. Violet eyes flew open as Kouga's tongue slipped in between parted lips and he tasted the monk. The man looked at the wolf, whose eyes opened now, wanting to see the human surrender. And Miroku was confused, Kouga had never realized that the man had such expressive eyes. Eyes staring straight into his.

Torn.