Take Another Breath

Hikari woke late that morning, and stretched like a lazy cat, a contented smile on her lips. She reached for Sesshoumaru, expecting to find him nearby, but her hand only came into contact with soft material, cool to the touch. That meant he had been gone quite some time, and she sat up, frowning as she looked around the room. He wasn't anywhere to be seen.

A search around the room found a wardrobe stuffed with kimonos of varying colors with different intricate patterns, and she reluctantly came to the conclusion that her days of hakama and haori were over. Shifting through the veritable rainbow of silks, she came upon a kimono that made her smile. Drawing it out, she carried it with her as she ventured off to the bathing room, humming a quiet tune.

After washing herself and vigorously cleaning her long hair, she shook herself dry and tied her hair up with a red ribbon. It was only then that she slid into the cool kimono with a shiver, admiring the way the colors complimented each other, even different as they were. She couldn't help a giggle as her gaze fell to her image in the mirror; how would Sesshoumaru react, to see her in a kimono that matched his usual haori? She would be finding out soon enough. Tugging on the red slippers that lay waiting at the bottom of the closet for her, she took off out of their room and down the stairs at a run.

"Oh, Sesshy! Where are you?" Peeking her head into the dining room, Hikari frowned as she saw he wasn't there. A glance into what she'd assumed was his training room yielded the same result.. or rather lack thereof. It was only when she was venturing out towards the gardens that Jaken came running up, barreling smack into her legs, only to fall back with an 'oof'. Hikari looked down at the imp with a confused expression, before kneeling to set him upright, placing his hat on his head again. "Jaken? What's the rush?"

"Lady Hikari! Just who I was looking for. You must hurry, or you will miss him!" Jaken darted off around her, heading towards the entrance hall at a frantic pace. The unsettled kitsune ran after him, her kimono hiked up a bit so she wouldn't step on it. Her heart sank as she skidded to a halt in the main hall, seeing Sesshoumaru in his usual garb, giving orders to several guards gathered around him.

"You are to protect the Lady Hikari with your lives.. or this Sesshoumaru will see to it you are not long on this earth." Golden eyes moved away from the guards as they bowed and ran off, to land on the vision in beautifully patterned kimono standing at the opposite end of the hall. His heart seemed to stop in his chest; she was the picture of youkai royalty, wearing his colors.. though the heartbroken look on her face, and the tears welling in her turquoise eyes made him utter a quiet oath. Why hadn't he awakened her?

"..Sesshy? What's going on?" Hikari moved towards Sesshoumaru, biting down on her lower lip as she watched him. He stepped forward and enveloped her carefully in his arms, leaning down to gently nuzzle the mating mark marring her pale flesh.

"I received a summons while you were sleeping. There is a new Lord of the South, and I must attend to the lands of the Lord of the East to participate in the drawing of a new treaty." He heard her sigh, and slowly drew back, but only enough so he could bring his lips to hers in a kiss. The servants gathered watched in silent awe, amazed that their master could apparently not only feel affection, but show it so openly. Who was this Hikari, that she had such an effect on their formerly cold master?

"When will you be back?" The question leapt from Hikari's lips as soon as Sesshoumaru's left them, her eyes still brimming with tears. He didn't understand it.. was she worried for him? A swift inhale through his nostrils told him she was feeling hurt, and he stifled a sigh. There wasn't much he could do about that.

"I am not sure." He paused, and his eyes narrowed slightly. It was enough change in expression to let Hikari know that whatever he was about to say didn't make him at all happy. "..Your friends, including that half-breed brother of mine, may keep you company while I am away."

"Thank you, Sesshy." A small smile quirked her lips, though Hikari could feel her heart breaking in her chest. She knew he had no choice, but still.. to have her mate taken from her the day after they mated? It was so.. unfair. "Sesshy, I.." She paused, biting down on her lower lip and frowning ever so slightly. He may show something akin to affection to her, but she was in no way ready to so fully hand over not only her heart, but her soul, to her quiet and distant Lord of the West. So she forced a respectful smile to her lips and, folding her hands into the sleeves of her kimono, bowed to her mate, her eyes cast downwards. "I wish you safe travels and a speedy return, Lord Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed another fraction, and his lips pursed into a noticeable grimace. What was she trying to hide from him? Another quick sniff told him what he wanted to know; her scent was filled with worry, sadness, and even more hurt than before. There was something else there, that he couldn't identify, and he stored it away for later study, while one of his clawed hands lifted, fingers gently cupping Hikari's chin and tilting her face up in an attempt to make her eyes meet his. His heart gave a painful lurch as they did, at the sight of the brimming tears within those bright hues, and he kissed her again, trying to convey comfort.. though he doubted his efforts would help. Likely, it would only be cause for her to miss him even more.

Though it seemed to last an eternity, it didn't last nearly long enough, and soon the kiss was broken. Sorrowful turquoise met molten gold once again, then he leaned further forward to murmur softly within her ear. "I will come back to you, my mate. ..Know that I will.. miss you.. and take comfort." With a final touch of the backs of his fingers to her cheek, Sesshoumaru was gone.. leaving Hikari standing there, watching him retreat in silence as a single tear slid down her cheek, wiped absently away with a trembling hand. Shippou and Rin came up on either side of her, reaching to grasp her hands in their own small ones. A show of support for their adoptive mother.

Hikari knew, as she looked down to the young kitsune and the mortal girl, that she wouldn't be alone. But she could feel the growing distance between herself and Sesshoumaru within her heart. The mating bond was strong, and she could almost hear him growling in her mind, trying to comfort her. Knowing that Inuyasha and the others would be able to stay with her was a relief.. but it just wouldn't be the same without her Sesshy. Still, she put on a brave face for Rin and Shippou, gesturing towards the gardens with a slight jerk of her head.

"Come on. Let's go to the gardens. I'll send one of the guards out to find Inuyasha and the others, and bring them back here. Then we'll have a great time, right?"

"Right!"

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It didn't take long for the guards Hikari sent to retrieve Inuyasha and the others. The sun had moved from late morning to early evening, and Hikari was just sitting down to dinner with Shippou and Rin, when one of the spear-wielding guards stepped into view. Hikari looked up at him in curiosity, and after telling the children to stay where they were, ventured over. He bowed as she neared, then looked slightly startled when she smiled at him and spoke in her kind voice. "I certainly hope that there's no trouble. It's only my first day as the Lady of the Western Lands.. I wouldn't know how to handle it."

The guard found himself immediately liking the Lady Hikari. Stifling a blush as he smiled, he bowed low and shook his head, shaggy indigo hair falling in his yellow eyes. "Iie, milady. I have only escorted--"

"INU-CHAN!!"

Once again startled by his Lady, this time by her.. rather loud and shrill exclamation of joy at seeing Inuyasha come through the door, the guard, whose name was Jiro, only looked on dazedly as Hikari jostled him aside in the process of running past to throw herself at Inuyasha in a hug. Inuyasha, meanwhile, was not quite so prepared for the assault. Having clamped his hands over his sensitive ears at Hikari's squealing, he didn't lower his arms in time to catch her when she threw herself bodily at him. This ended with Inuyasha flat on his back, gasping for air as the kitsune, with her arms wrapped around his torso, squeezed him happily, oblivious to the amusement of the rest of the crew as they watched the display.

"Oh, Inu-chan! I didn't think to see you so soon! I'm so glad you're here!"

Squeeze!

"Um.. Hikari..."

Gasping from Inuyasha.

"You will stay, won't you? Sesshy is gone and I don't want to stay in this big place all by myself."

More squeezing, with Hikari entirely oblivious to the fact that Inuyasha's face had turned an alarming shade of blue.

"Hi..ka..ri..."

"Of course, I'm not entirely alone, I have Rin and Shippou, and the servants and the guards.. but that's not the same as my friends!"

Silence.

"..Inu-chan?"

It was then that Hikari lifted her head and looked at Inuyasha with a frown, prepared to chastise him for not answering her. She stopped with her mouth agape, and quickly released Inuyasha, blushing in embarrassment as he dragged in a wheezing breath and began coughing.

"..Sorry, Inu-chan."

----------

After many hugs all around, and much squealing amongst the women over the impending wedding of Sango and Miroku, everyone sat down to dinner. The guard, Jiro, bashfully declined Hikari's offer to join them, protesting that he had wall patrol to attend to. He was blushing furiously by the time he was finally allowed to leave, as Hikari declared he would be allowed to perform his duties only if he consented to join them for breakfast the next morning. He agreed hurriedly, and scurried off as the group laughed merrily, and settled down to their dinner.

Once they were finished and Hikari had called for servants to come clean away the remains, the Lady herself showed everyone to their rooms, settled the children into bed, and went for a walk in the gardens. The dying rays of the sun glinted off the pool and its small waterfall as she sat next to them, looking up at the sakura tree under which Sesshoumaru had claimed her as his mate.. and she claimed him as hers. Sighing, she pulled her kimono up above her knees and let her feet dangle in the water, watching the colorful fish that paused to investigate her toes, then moved on. In the silent and peaceful atmosphere, she turned her attention deep within herself, focusing her awareness on the pulsing thread of light that connected her to Sesshoumaru.

Lightly touching upon it, she quickly recoiled, tears in her eyes, at the instinctive growl that resonated in her mind. A growl from Sesshoumaru. From her mate. What had she done? She only wished to see that he was faring well. Had he lied to her? Had he been so anxious to be parted from her, that he even wanted her to ignore their bond? Just as it seemed he realized who it was that had invaded his thoughts, Hikari slammed a wall down on their connection, effectively blocking his attempt to apologize and offer comfort, without even knowing what he had been going to do.

----------

Miles away, Sesshoumaru stumbled upon his entrance into the hall of the Lord of the East, stopping and hiding his bewilderment as he turned to look back to the west, and probed deep within himself. His link to Hikari.. it was still there, but he growled low in angered puzzlement as he searched along their bond, to find that he was blocked from feeling her. He could only tell that she was still alive. Beyond that, he may as well have been trying to carve a tunnel into a mountain with a pair of glass chopsticks. The servant that had approached to lead him to the negotiations stepped back at the light in the Lord Sesshoumaru's eyes, and quickly fled in fear.

----------

Back at the Hall of the West, Hikari hid her face in her hands and cried. It seemed her fears had been well founded; Sesshoumaru wanted her as nothing more than a brood mare, and one with the ability to see snippets of the future. In the moonlit night, Hikari felt her heart shatter within her breast. It wasn't until Inuyasha crouched down next to her, ears flattened against his head and a concerned look on his face, that she realized she wasn't alone any longer.

"Hikari.. what's wrong?"

Turning away from Inuyasha, she wiped at her face with the voluminous sleeves of her kimono, a bitter smile curving her lips at the sight of the intricate design, stained with her tears. The Hall of the West would see many of her tears in the years to come, she mused. They had been mated for less than a day, and Sesshoumaru had already shown her what life with him would be like... He would use her for what he needed, leave her, and block her out. Steeling herself, she took a deep breath, and turned to look at Inuyasha. "You don't need to worry about me, Inuyasha. I'm just fully understanding the card Fate has dealt me."

Inuyasha frowned, leaning in closer and moving Hikari's bangs away from her eyes with the tips of his claws. What he saw in her eyes disturbed him, for all that lingered there was bitterness and resignation. Letting his claw tips trail down the side of her face, he moved closer and peered worriedly at her, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "You seemed so happy when you left with him.. and even tonight, when you came out here. What happened between then and now to make you so sad, Hikari?"

There was a tingling at the base of her skull as Inuyasha touched her, and Hikari took a deep breath. She thought she had already seen everything she could about him.. was there perhaps a bit of his destiny that was going to change, or could? Did she dare to find out what it was? Pursing her lips, she sighed and shook her head. "It's nothing you would understand, Inuyasha. Being mated is not so easy as you would think. Maybe, someday, if you are ever mated yourself.. I'll tell you."

Before she could stop him, Inuyasha had leaned in and wrapped his arms around Hikari, laying his head against hers as he guided it to rest on his shoulder. Abruptly, she stiffened, and clenched her eyes tightly shut, as pain ripped down her spine from the base of her skull, gathering in a cold, heavy mass in her stomach. Her fingers curled tightly into the sleeves of his haori, and as he heard the sound of ripping fabric, combined with her stiffness, Inuyasha drew back and looked at her in curiosity and worry. He looked alarmed when she pushed roughly away from him, scrambling wildly until she collided firmly with the trunk of the sakura tree; the feral look in her eyes, the irises of which he noticed had been glazed over by filmy white, thoroughly frightened him. "..Hikari, are you okay?"

Shaking her head violently, Hikari clenched her eyes tightly shut again, clamping her hands over her ears as she curled up on herself, and tried to fight off the torrent of visions that assaulted her. Inuyasha moved closer, and though she wasn't looking in his direction, she thrust a trembling hand towards him, warding him off with that gesture as surely as with her hoarse words. "N-no. Come.. no.. closer." Inuyasha obediently sat back on his haunches, and realized something; she must be having a whopper of a vision, or else just a really unpleasant one, for her to be reacting this way. Then he furrowed his brow, thoroughly confused. She hadn't reacted this way all the other times she'd touched him.. why now? But he said nothing, and waited patiently till she relaxed and keeled over on the plush grass, exhausted.

"..Are you going to tell me what you saw?"

Slowly, green-blue eyes opened and looked back into the worried gold ones watching her. With a world-weary sigh, they closed again. For a moment, Inuyasha thought Hikari had fallen asleep. Just as he was about to say her name, she took a deep breath, and began speaking, her voice still slightly scratchy.

"Inuyasha.. you, the others.. you must leave." She silenced the beginning of his protests with an impatient wave of one shaking hand, her expression determined if sad. "You may stay another few days, then you must leave. And you..." Here, she opened her eyes once again, and knew they were cold and distant as they looked at him. "..you must abandon all notions you may have of our relationship progressing beyond platonic. Your place is with Kagome. And mine.. is with Sesshoumaru."

Inuyasha reeled back, his eyes wide with surprise and hurt. Surprise, that she could know that he still harbored those feelings and thoughts - until he remembered what and who she was - and hurt, that she would drive everyone away because of it. It was this that made the stubborn streak in him rise up in full force, a grunt heard before he stood, turned away, and looked down at her over his shoulder.

"I'm not going anywhere, wench. Sango wants you to help plan her wedding, and Kagome actually likes you. Don't ruin it because of me. ..Just let us stay here and keep you company until that bastard brother of mine comes back. I promise I'll be a perfect gentleman."

Hikari sighed. She should've known Inuyasha would be stubborn. Her lips twitched in the hint of a threatening smile, then died. Something he shared with his brother, she suspected. Thoughts of Sesshoumaru sobered her fully again, not to mention exhausting her, and she waved her hand dismissively in Inuyasha's direction. "So be it, you stubborn hanyou. Now go to bed."

The sound of footsteps on the grass reached her ears. She smirked when they paused.

"Do you want me to help you to your room, Hikari?"

The smirk became a smile, and her eyes opened ever so slightly. Inuyasha was relieved to see the faintest hint of warmth within them.

"No. I'll sleep right here. I need nature's soothing touch right now."

Inuyasha nodded, not walking back into the keep until Hikari's eyes had closed again. One of her pointed ears twitched as she heard him leave the garden, and she rolled onto her back, looking up at the star-spotted sky visible through the branches of the sakura tree above her. Tears rolled from her eyes as she sighed.

"I pray your stubbornness doesn't destroy us all, Inuyasha."