What a Mess

Chapter Seven

Wolf by the Ears


Sesshomaru stared at the elegant chair made of glossy ebony wood he’d just smashed into a dozen pieces. He knew he was still drunk and that maybe greeting the son of the Lord of the East in such a state was a bad idea given his current state.

But screw it.

He stormed…well, staggered out into the courtyard. The bastard wolf had his grubby mitts all over the miko. On her very nice ass, an ass he’d decided not moments before was his. Kouga was nuzzling her neck, saying ridiculous things like, “My love for you has only multiplied in your absence.” And, “Come back with me and be my woman for real.”

And the miko…. Sesshomaru growled so loud the shoji screens behind him rattled. She was giggling and blushing prettily. The only blushes he’d gotten out of the miko had been embarrassment or rage.

“Oh, Kouga-kun, I’ve missed you too!” Her voice dripped with honey. She’d certainly never talked to him that way. He realized with mounting despair that he was actually jealous of the mangy wolf.

With growing fury, he watched the sneaky wolf’s eyes slide over to him. When Kouga saw Sesshomaru, he gave him a cheeky grin and then planted his lips right over the miko’s.

It was Sesshomaru’s turn to smile. The idiot wolf had just signed his own death warrant. His hand glowed with a green haze of poison. He licked his lips, anticipating the coming bloodshed.

The miko beat him to it. She drew back her fist and pounded the top of the wolf’s head.

“Ouch! What the hell did you do that for, Kagome?” Kouga cried, staggering backwards, rubbing the top of his head.

“Because!” she snapped. “I’m tired of stupid demon men slobbering all over me! You didn’t even ask if it was okay to kiss me! Really, Kouga! For shame!”

“Sorry,” Kouga mumbled. Then he gazed up at her with that limpid, stupid, adoring look on his face. “What’re you doing here, Kagome? And why do you smell like that prick?”

“Kouga-kun…I don’t think Sesshomaru would like you calling him a prick.”

“Pfft. As if I care. You’re avoiding the question.”

The miko sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “Well…if I tell you, you have to promise not to do anything stupid. Okay?”

Sesshomaru decided it was high time he put a stop to their little reunion. They both had to know that he was there, and ignoring him was unacceptable. He wouldn’t stand for it. Trying not to stumble over his own feet, Sesshomaru made his grand entrance. Both the miko and the wolf looked at him as though his face had turned green.

“Sesshomaru!” the miko looked concerned. She reached out a hand as though to steady him. Sesshomaru jerked away from her touch…even though he wanted it very badly. He nearly toppled over. “What’s the matter? You look terrible! Are you sick?” Her eyes had gone all soft and every bit of her attention was focused on him…where it belonged.

Couldn’t hurt to play it up a bit. Might keep that disgusting wolf away from her, he thought, suppressing a grin. “This Sesshomaru…is not feeling himself,” he muttered. For effect, he closed his eyes and put a hand to his forehead.

“Bah!” Kouga roared. “Demons don’t get sick!”

Sesshomaru cracked an eye to see the miko whirl on the wolf, her fists clenched. “Shut up, Kouga! Look at him! His skin is all pale and sickly! He’s got dark circles under his eyes! Something is the matter with him!” Her cool hands pressed against his cheeks. “And he’s burning up!” Her voice was becoming shrill again. The wolf flinched. “Do you have a headache, Sesshomaru? Does your tummy hurt?”
His tummy? Really, perhaps this was a bit much. He was starting to feel humiliated. But then, that damned wolf started inching closer to HIS miko again, eyeing her backside. Sesshomaru groaned and clenched his eyes shut.

Her arms were around him, guiding and pushing him back into the palace. “Sorry, Kouga, we’ll have to catch up on old times later,” she said over her shoulder.

Sesshomaru reminded himself to groan a few more times as she led him back to his room and eased him onto his futon.

#

Kagome eyed all the empty bottles in Sesshomaru’s room in dismay. There had to be at least a hundred. No wonder he felt terrible.

“You’re drunk,” she said with disdain.

“Was drunk,” he said, his arm flopped over his eyes.

“Why don’t you just admit that Jaken dying upset you? It’d be a lot healthier than just drinking the grief away.”

He made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat.

“You just need to sleep it off. I’m leaving. As in, I finished your task. Your palace is all clean. I held up my end of the bargain.”

“No.”

“What?” she cried loudly, not caring if it hurt his ears.

“This Sesshomaru has yet to acquire new servants. You will stay until I do so. In a few days, the rest of the lords will arrive. You will serve them.”

“No way. This is ridiculous! I’m going!”

“You’re staying.”

“Going!”

“Miko,” he growled in warning.

“Youkai,” she said.

“You will address me properly with the respect I deserve.”

If they were going to behave childishly, Kagome reasoned she might as well go whole hog. “Make me.”

His arm slid from his face, and he gave her an odd look. What he said next was so evil and devious that she decided that she hated him after all. “Rin will miss you if you go.”

“H-hey! That’s not fair!” Kagome said, picturing Rin crying her eyes out.

“She will not know what to do with herself should you go.”

“Stop it!” Kagome hissed.

“She might take up drinking on a regular basis.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Wait a minute…are we still talking about Rin?”

“Of course.”

“Hn.” Kagome wanted to slap herself for taking up his speech patterns, but she finally understood what it meant when he said it. It meant, “You are full of shit and make me so tired this is the best response I can muster.”

“Rin has been lonely. For a long time. Perhaps she is sorry for being contrary and unpleasant. Perhaps if you were to give her another chance, she might make it up to you,” he said, his face totally serious.

“You know, Sesshomaru, that has to be the most pathetic apology I’ve ever heard. You can’t bear to say it, can you? Well, whatever. I’ll stay with Rin for a little while longer. But only because of Rin, not because of you. You are crazy, emotionally retarded, mean, and violent. You know, I’m actually glad Kouga is here. At least he’s nice…if a bit pushy.”

Sesshomaru snorted. “This Sesshomaru was under the impression that pushy, slobbering, male demons offended you, miko.”
He had her there. It was offensive! She was tired of not getting to decide, tired of men deciding things for her. She knew it was common place in the feudal era, but damn it! She thought chivalry would be more common too.

“Where I’m from, women get to pick what man they want. It is a mutual decision between two interested parties.”

Sesshomaru seemed to be actually listening. She wondered what he was up to.

“So, the male must shower the female with gifts at great personal expense and then wait around for her to decide if that is good enough? That does not seem a fair trade, miko.”

“Well, it’s better than your system. Your idea of courting is drunkenly tackling a woman, hurling insults and meat at her, playing dead, feeding her a faceful of mud, and ripping her clothes off,” Kagome huffed, crossing her arms.

“Youkai courtship does not involve any of the things you named, you ignorant, miserable wench,” he said, sitting up and pointing his finger at her.

“No?”

“Most certainly not.”

“What does it involve then? Beating the crap out of each other?” Kagome laughed.

Sesshomaru remained oddly silent.

Kagome gasped. “It does! That’s sad.”

“It is not ‘sad’, miko. It is the natural way. And, I might add, it saves time and money.”

“But what about the romance! What about slow kisses under a full moon on a summer night! What about saying the girl looks pretty and putting a flower behind her ear? What about holding hands and walking on a deserted beach?” Kagome lamented.

“A youkai female would not be impressed by such sentimental drivel.”
Kagome stood, raising her chin. “Well, I’m glad I’m a worthless human then. Poor youkai girls! They’re missing out.”

Sesshomaru’s eyes narrowed and he smirked at her. “Oh? And did my worthless half-brother provide you with such ‘romance’?”

All the color drained from her face. She didn’t even want to dignify that with an answer, but she couldn’t keep from it. “No. And that’s why we didn’t work out. Not that it’s any of your business. I don’t know why you have to be so damned mean. I’m going to go have lunch with Kouga. Maybe we’ll have a nice picnic.”

With that, she stomped out of his room, slamming shut the shoji screen behind her.

#

When she found Kouga, he was exactly where she’d left him. Kagome had to admit…he cleaned up pretty well. He looked so handsome in that navy kimono. It really set off his tan beautifully. And judging by his smell, he’d bathed recently too. Which was also a plus.

Upon reflection, Kouga wasn’t that bad. He was cute…okay, he was hot. And he’d given her some flowers once, so he was at least willing to try. He’d pursued her for years. His compliments were nice.

So why did she feel like she had to talk herself into a relationship with him? There wasn’t much about him not to like…save the temper…and he wasn’t all that bright really.

When he saw her, his face lit up in a bright smile. He had dimples. She was a sucker for dimples.

“You never did answer me. What are you doing here, Kagome? Dog crap’s brother hasn’t been treating you badly, has he?” Kouga asked, taking her hands his rough calloused ones.

Kagome laughed nervously. “Well…heh…I was taking a bath right? And this snake youkai attacked me. Sesshomaru just happened to be in the area and he killed the demon. Which was nice, I guess, but then he said I owed him for saving my life and said I had to repay him by cleaning his palace.” Kagome leaned forward. “And you wouldn’t believe how filthy and nasty it was! I was really shocked.”

Kouga snarled. “You’re too good to be treated like his slave, Kagome! You should’ve purified his ass.”

“Yeah,” she said. “But I guess I felt kind of sorry for him for some reason.”

“You’ve always been too nice.”

She sighed. “I know.”

Kouga’s nose brushed against her cheek. She felt uncomfortable. What if he tried to kiss her again? She was really tired of having to hit people for them to get the damn point. Instead, he just sniffed her. “You smell like him. Has that asshole been forcing himself on you?” Kouga’s voice was low and dangerous.

“No!” Well, not really, she thought. “We’ve been…um…fighting.”

“Huh?”

“He insults me, I insult him back…then he threw an entire deer at me.” She left out the bit about touching herself in front of him. Kagome didn’t even want to think about that. “Then I dumped some ashes and soot on his hair. He retaliated by flinging raw meat at me. After that…we might’ve rolled around and wrestled a little. Perfectly innocent, really.” Even to her, that sounded ridiculous.

It must’ve sounded ridiculous to Kouga too, because the wolf doubled over in raucous laughter, clutching his belly. “I can’t believe it!” he howled in mirth. “That piece of shit has a thing for you!”

Kagome dismissed the notion with a wave of her hand. “No.” She laughed. “No.”

“I bet his old man is really laughing it up in the afterlife! I wish InuYasha was here right now! That’d be priceless!”

Kagome shook her head. “No, that would be lethal.”

Kouga gave her a…wolfish grin. “Exactly. I’d pay to see that fight.”

“Well, I can’t blame Sesshomaru for falling in love with you, Kagome,” he said, his voice husky.

She blushed. “Oh, Kouga-kun…come on. He’s not in love with me! I mean…he can’t be. Could he?”

Kouga pulled away, frowning. “Kagome?”

“What?”

He sighed heavily, shoulders stooping. “I always come too late.”

She laughed. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re in love with him too!” he cried. “I can tell. He won’t treat you right! You need to stay away from dogs for a change. I’d treat you better!”

“You probably would, Kouga.” She gave him a weak rueful smile.

Kagome felt like crying. Kouga was right. Somehow, when she wasn’t paying attention, she’d fallen for Sesshomaru in the worst way. She was convinced there was something wrong with her. Why couldn’t she fall in love with a nice boy like Hojo…or even Kouga? Okay, so Kouga wasn’t all that nice, but he was a hell of a lot nicer than Sesshomaru.

Before she could admit defeat and beg Kouga to give her some advice, Sesshomaru rounded the corner, eyes blazing in fury.

#

A picnic? Sesshomaru thought in horror. That wouldn’t do! He was supposed to take the stupid miko on a picnic! That wolf was ruining his plans. Sesshomaru scrambled to make preparations. He’d be damned if he lost a woman to some wolf whelp. Not on his damn watch.

He heard them talking before he saw them. That idiot had the audacity to laugh at him.

And then Sesshomaru realized he was right.

Somehow, his intense burning hatred for the woman had turned into something completely opposite from the comfortable feeling of revulsion.

But, he thought, at least the miko is in the same predicament. Not that it made him feel any better.

“You probably would, Kouga,” she said.

That was the last straw. He’d officially had it. Sesshomaru rounded the corner and pointed a finger at the miko.

“You!” he barked. “Will join this Sesshomaru for lunch.”

She gaped at him.

“Now,” he said.

Her cheeks were stained pink in anger. “No! I’m having lunch with Kouga-kun!”

His youki whipped about him, making the air waver like heat-shimmer. The wolf blanched, taking a step back.

“You go ahead and have lunch with Sesshomaru…uh sama. I’m not hungry. Really. We can have lunch tomorrow-“

Sesshomaru shot him an icy glare.

“Or you know, never. I’m going for a walk. See you later, Kagome!” The wolf sped off in a cloud of dust. Even without the Shikon shards, the bastard was still pretty fast.

Judging by the venomous look on her face, Sesshomaru thought perhaps he should’ve handled that with a little more finesse. But he was tired of playing games with her. They were fun for awhile, but she had started being a bad sport, what with the crying and being honestly angry with him.

“How dare you treat my friend that way?” she asked, voice tremulous, her hands shaking.

He wasn’t sure how to respond. He was fairly certain any answer he gave her would just make her more angry. Sesshomaru sensed he was walking a very fine line.

He decided to stick with simply repeating himself. “You will come with me,” he ground out. “And have lunch.”

“No!”

“I command you.”

“Shove it up your ass!” she screeched, stomping her foot.

“I doubt the feast I have prepared will fit, miko.”

She laughed, but it was bitter and lacked mirth. “You’re right. I doubt you could fit anything else. The big stick you’ve crammed in there is taking up too much room!”

“Correct me if I am wrong, miko, but I thought you told me that men where you’re from treat their women to lunch.”

“I’m not your woman for starters. And they usually ask, not command. And they don’t scare off their friends. You are hopeless!” The set of her jaw, her crossed arms, her jutting hip, they were all challenging him. To do what exactly, he wasn’t sure. But Sesshomaru never backed down from a challenge.

He just wished this was something he could win by simply melting the obstacle, or ripping its head off, or scaring it into submission. He knew that those tactics would be met with failure. And her probable demise.

“You will not be disappointed if you join me,” he said. It was as near to “asking nicely” as he could get. And it still hurt his pride and fouled his already bad mood.

It worked like a charm. The anger left her face and she looked curious. “Oh?”

He turned his back on her to hide his grin of triumph. He had her now. “It would be a shame to waste my efforts of appreciating your odd and ridiculous customs.”

He heard her grumble, curse, then sigh. “Fine! Fine, I’ll go.”

Sesshomaru was certain his hasty, thrown together effort would effectively destroy her resistance. At least, it had better. Sexual tension was fun until it drove you crazy and made you forget yourself.

A/N: Only two chapters of this fic left. I’d meant it to be about four chapters long, but got carried away. The next chapter may/may not contain a lemon. It will either be the next or the last chapter. And it will be unapologetically dirty. As dirty as I can make it. I mean, after all that trouble, they sorta deserve it.

Thank ya kindly for the reviews on this one!

For those that have expressed interest in my original fiction:

I can't put it up on ye ol interwebs, sadly. Editors consider this 'published' and most of the big houses refuse to publish already published works. However! I have a short story coming out in a magazine in May, and this mag is online and free to read. I'll post the link and my pen name when the issue comes out. Also, if you really want to read exerpts from my novels and other WIP's, you may friend me on livejournal or myspace. howsoonisnever on myspace, w1nky on el jay. :D