Kagome: The Shamelss Miko

I wish I owned Inuyasha… but I don’t! So I can only IMAGINE that Sesshomaru is a sex slave!

A/N: Okay this is really embarrassing… more that a few people said that they didn’t quite get what back door meant. Well…. I really can bring my self to flat out type it… So if you still hadn’t got it yet, think about prison movies were the timid inmate gets raped by a big man named BUBBA. The only available hole on a man’s body for that is the back door.. ;p

Other than that, I really have no ideas for the next chapter. I’m still looking for something with Hakudoshi. If you read my other stories, Techno Dreams is on hold right now. I’m looking into overhauling it SOON.. I’ll have to edit this chapter later!

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Thanks for all of the reviews!!!!

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Chapter 7

Kill all the Humans Cosplay

Unfortunately, Miroku never made it to the table as he had planned. Why? His beloved Sango and Kagome stared another lesson.

……..

“Shit, I.. I … feel like at the gyn..ko..logist doctor.” Kagome slurred while Sango continued her lovely stroking.

“What tha hell is that?” Inuyasha asked.

Sango shrugged her shoulders. “Dunno…”

Sesshomaru looked at Kagome. Why not ask another question? The last one had wonderful results. “Miko what is this doc…tor you're referring to?”

Kagome frowned in thought for a moment. Suddenly she pushed Sango’s hands away and kicked her leg up intent on sitting up. However she kicked our beloved demon lord in the nose in the process.

Sesshomaru rubbed his abuse appendage. It was a small price to pay. “Kagome speak.”

“Pussy doctor!” Kagome blurted. “You wanna play Sango?”

“Why notz.”

Both women took another swig from the half empty sake bottle.

“Alright getz naked…” Kagome demanded.

Inuyasha gasp and Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. Sesshomaru stood up from his chair and walked over to Kagome, who was staring at the wall still demanding it ‘getz naked’. Taking Kagome by the shoulders, he turned her around and directed her towards the table where Sango sat. “I believe you were referring to the huntress.”

Kagome smiled gratefully and staggered over to Sango. “Okee!”

All of the men in the room watched as Kagome slowly started to feel Sango up. Starting with Sango’s breast and ending at her crotch. However, even drunk Kagome new something wasn’t right. The proverbial light bulb went off in her brain and she immediately started to strip Sango of her clothing.

Suddenly the forgotten monk jumped to action. He practically threw Kagome into Sesshomaru’s arms. Miroku grabbed Sango off of the table and made a B-line for the room they were assigned to; only leaving a trail of dust behind them.

……

In the dinning hall, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha both looked at the door in shock. The monk had been so eager to leave that he tossed the shoji door off track.

“Hey where’d Sando and Miruku go….” Kagome yawned. “Maybe I should go join em’.”

Sesshomaru looked down at Kagome. “I think not.”

Inuyasha nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah, you’d only be in tha way.” He held out his arm and walked up to Sesshomaru. “Alright, you asshole, give Kagome to me.”

“No. I will put Kagome to bed.”

“WHAT!! I don’t think so!” Inuyasha shouted. “You’re just going to take advantage of her!”

Sesshomaru was unamused. “Hn… and you would not, hanyou?”

“…..”

“Your silence is telling, little brother.” Sesshomaru shifted Kagome’s slight weight. “I have more honor than that.”

“O’ yeah!” Inuyasha crossed his arms and stared defiantly at his brother. “Then where in the hell is she going to sleep. The ‘sleepover’ with the brats is happening in her room. It only makes sense that, since she IS my friend, she says with me.”

“Inuyasha, your warped logic astounds me.” Sesshomaru turned his back and headed out of the door. “The miko will sleep in my chambers. If I catch you near my door, consider your life forfeit.”

ssss

Jaken paced the floor outside his master’s chambers nervously. Sesshomaru had retired some time ago and took the miko with him.

Although she hadn’t made a noise yet, he knew she didn’t want to be in there. So what to do?

…….

Some time before sun rise, Kagome had the feeling to stretch. While doing so her wandering hand came in contact with hard muscle and then something slimy. She bolted upright.

The first thing Kagome noticed was her state of dress. SHE WAS NAKED! “AAHHHH!!!”

Jaken who was nestled between Kagome and Sesshomaru on top of the sheets, jumped at the noise. “Who dares disturbs my rest!”

Sesshomaru, who for once, was sleeping soundly, saw red! He jumped from the bed prepared to kill Jaken, when something started tugging on his “tool”.

“I knew you would try something funny, Sesshomaru!” Inuyasha, who was sleeping on the floor beside Sesshomaru, started tugging on the covers in order to stand up. Cursing wildly with his eyes only focused on Kagome, Inuyasha tugged on the first thing his hand came in contact with. He should have looked. “WHAT!”

…….

“Release me, Inuyasha!”

Inuyasha looked up and noticed he was holding his brother’s junk! “WHAT!”

“Release me, so I can kill you!” Sesshomaru bellowed. He intended not only to kill Inuyasha, but Jaken as well. His morning had been ruined. The rest he received was now none existent. Today WOULD HAVE been the day he screwed the miko senseless! Rage taking over, Sesshomaru snatched Inuyasha off of the floor and Jaken off of the bed and walked out of the room. Once outside, he commenced a beating that neither would soon forget.

While the other three were occupied, Kagome calmed down. She soon managed to gather her clothes and get dressed. She quickly peeked out of the door. Sesshomaru was busy making Jaken and Inuyasha sized holes in the floor, so she made a mad dash to Sango’s room. There she demanded to know what happened after dinner.

After Miroku relayed the events, omitting his part, Kagome was livid.

“Fine if that’s how they want to do things, then I want revenge.” Kagome declared sternly while madly blushing.

Sango nodded in agreement. “I can’t believe they let us act that way!”

“It’s settled then, me in the stables!” Kagome turned around and walked to her room.

ssss

After everyone one was gathered Kagome explained her plans. “Okay today, since my birthday sleep over was ruined, we’re going to play ‘Kill all the Humans’.”

Everyone looked confused.

Kagome sighed. “We are going to dress up as human killing demons and exact revenge on Sesshomaru and Inuyasha.” She explained.

Sango and Miroku seemed to catch on, but the children and Kohaku remained clueless.

“Play dress-up….” Kagome offered. They seemed to get it so she moved on. “Alright let’s get to work!”

……….

“I feel so exposed!” Kagome complained as she checked her costume. “But it was either this or dress up as Kagura.”

Sango laughed. “This evil Kaguya outfit really doesn’t suit me either, but….” She chuckled. “I would rather be in this beat up kimono than dressed as Ayame.”

“You’re no fun!”

“Oh, I know you love me for it.”

Miroku walked in, smiling widely, along with Shippo, Kohaku, Rin, and Kirara. He twirled around in his robes and graced the women with another infectious smile. “Well, ladies, how do we look?” Dressing up as Naraku didn’t take Miroku much time. Since Naraku wore purple colors as well, all Miroku had to do was find a white pelt of some kind. Which wasn’t much of a problem since Kagome jacked Sesshomaru’s pelt out of revenge. “So what do you think of Kohaku?” Miroku ask as he gestured towards the young man.

“Looks like a freak…” Sango snickered.

Kohaku, who reluctantly joined the dress-up game, couldn’t decide if he wanted to be Kagura or Hakudoshi. After two enthusiastic pep-talks with Kagome and Sango and a logic one with Miroku, as weird as it sounds, Kohaku decided to be Kagura. He made his costume using a “borrowed” kimono, one of Kagome bras with stuffing, and a paper-mache fan painted with crude drawings. Kohaku huffed at Sango’s comment. There were others who had far worst costumes in the room. “I don’t look as bad as Shippo!” He protested while crossing his arms.

Shippo decided that he wanted to be Sesshomaru, which stature-wise, was a joke. To make his costume, Kagome made Shippo a crudely sewn kimono from some “borrowed” silk sheets. They couldn’t find any boots to fit him at the moment, so Kagome gave him a pair of too big women’s black slippers. Shippo’s hair was another matter. Since they couldn’t dye it, Kagome use some baby powder from her bag to “color” Shippo’s tail and hair. He also carried two paper-mache swords. In the end Shippo ended up looking like a child prostitute from the “village of the damned” rather than Sesshomaru.

“Hey… Shippo is a demon, so why is he playing?” Rin suddenly asked.

Rin wanted to dress up as Kagome, and was very disappointed when she couldn’t. Instead, she decided to dress up as Koga. With some paper and a few “borrowed” bear rugs, Kagome and Sango managed fashion Rin a costume. However the tail was a problem. So… after several moments of brainstorming, Kagome decided a drape cord would do nicely; now, only if it wasn’t wine colored.

Kagome laughed and shook her head. “He’s playing because we are only dressing up as egotistical assholes, lovesick stalkers, and bad demons.” She explained.

“Oh, so do you like Kirara?” Rin asked.

They decided to let Kirara be Inuyasha. Rin worked all morning to make Kirara a badly made wig and botched costume. It was even harder for her to make Kirara keep it on, but it worked in the end.

Kagome nodded. After a few touches of badly applied makeup everything was done. She took a look around, did a mental check, and smiled. “Alright everybody let’s put this plan into action!”

……

Sesshomaru sighed. After beating Jaken and Inuyasha for a third time, he still didn’t feel satisfied; the imp and the hanyou should know when to mind their own business. Sighing again he felt like a walk through his gardens would do his mind and aching muscles some good; maybe he would even see Rin.

Imagine his astonishment when Rin was nowhere in sight. In fact, he hadn’t seen any of Inuyasha’s companions all day?

Shrugging his shoulders, Sesshomaru walked on; their happenings have noting to do with him. Finally, he made it to the koi pond bridge. He stopped in the middle and leaned against the railing.

Suddenly he was surrounded by all sides… by demon imposters?! Sesshomaru’s eye twitched as the phony catch phrases begin.

First Kagome, Miroku, and Shippo jumped out; each yelling something ridiculously cliché.

Miroku stepped up fist. “Ah… nice to see you Lord Sesshomaru. If you do as I say, I won’t harm the girl.”

Kagome desperately tried to beat down her laughter as she stepped forward. “Kagome is MY woman. So keep you hands OFF!” Seconds ticked by… “Oops! You stay away from my man, Koga!” She threw some tree leaves at Sesshomaru.

Shippo, who tripped on one of the slippers, picked himself up and waved his paper sword at Sesshomaru. “Now, die half-breed!”

Sesshomaru stared at the trio in astonishment… and then he noticed HIS pelt hanging off of the monk’s shoulders. He was about to take a step forward when he noticed someone behind him. He turned around.

“I will give you these shards if you kill Naraku.” Kohaku stepped forward, blushing madly, while trying to offer Sesshomaru some clear rock-candy from Kagome’s time.

Sango stepped forward next. She was holding a silk scarf and a broke mirror while chanting gibberish like a madwoman.

Rin, with her over enthusiasm, ran towards Sesshomaru and kicked him in the knee. “That’s how a real man does it; right Inu trasha?”

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow at his ward, and Rin only shrugged her shoulders.

“Meow….”

Astonished, Sesshomaru walked past the group and briskly made his way towards the castle healer. All of the humans had to be sick or breathing in some type of noxious fumes, otherwise that little display wouldn’t have happened. After that he planed on making a trip to the palace guards. He needed to know who was poisoning his guests and ward.

After Sesshomaru staked off, the group fell to the ground. Now all they had to do was get Inuyasha.

……

Inuyasha was laying in the court yard trying to recover when six shadows suddenly surround him. Slightly sitting up, he noted that they all looked familiar.

“Don’t you dare touch MY Koga!”

“Dance of Blades!” Kohaku swished his fake fan.

“Get you hands off my woman mutt! I promise, Kagome is going to be my wife!”

“Meow…..” Kirara raised her tiny paw. Rin looked down. “Oh! Blades of Blood! GRRRR!”

Shippo took out his fake swords. “Know your station!”

“I know you want to be a full-demon.”

“I will kill you and your band of misfits. Hand over the jewel shards, Inuyasha!”

“What tha fuck….” Inuyasha was about to jump up and start cursing when he was attacked.

Rin, who was energetic as always, threw the first kick. Miroku didn’t have tentacles, but he managed to punch Inuyasha in the stomach. Shippo whacked Inuyasha with the paper sword. Kohaku gave Inuyasha a paper cut with the tip of his “fan”. Sango found a good sized rock, wrapped it up in the scarf, and threw it at Inuyasha. Kagome threw more leaves, and Kirara scratched him on the hand.

After they all successfully “ambushed the hanyou”, they all walked by to the castle thoroughly amused.

………

Inuyasha still sat in the court yard confused. “What in the hell just happened?”

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End note: Okay I was seriously at a loss for this chapter, but it managed to come out!! Anyway, I don’t know much about the next chapter. I can only tell you that our group will start traveling again.