Lost Hopes

Chapter 7

“Inuyasha?? Inuyasha??” squealed an ecstatic Shippo, jumping up and down on the hanyou’s tummy.

Inuyasha groaned, and turning abruptly on his side, forced the kitsune pup to land on his rump in the dirt.

Shippo growled, irritatingly, as he got up to shake the inu awake where he lay under a tree near Kaede’s hut, curled up into a tight ball. He had been trying to rouse the hanyou for the last half an hour, but with no result. Inuyasha only turned away from Shippo’s little fingers or, too his utter horror, tried to cuddle him in his sleep!

Shippo, was on the verge of tears now as he looked up towards the hut where Sango sat along with Kaede, preparing the morning meal while Miroku and Kohaku went to the forest to collect firewood. That had left poor Shippo to wake Inuyasha up. Shippo was up at the crack of the dawn, keen on persuading Inuyasha to get Kagome from her time, but on Kaede’s word, he was barely able to restrain himself until the old miko gave him permission to rouse the hanyou. But currently, this was proving to be a rather unyielding task and he was beyond frustrated. However, he has never been an easy loser, so he took a few deep breaths, calming the bouts of tears that threatened to fall from his eyes, and resumed his efforts with double enthusiasm.

Inuyasha, for his part, was having a hard time, too. He had awakened before dawn in Kaede’s hut, when an unexpected and excruciating pain gripped his stomach. It seemed as if a thousand knives had been stabbed into his stomach and twisted with all its might. However, even in pain, he refused to rouse his slumbering friends. Instead, clutching his throbbing belly, he rushed outside, pathetic whimpers emanating from his weakened form as he sat against the tree. He was breathing heavily and sweating profusely, even in the cool atmosphere of the pre-dawn. Suddenly, his stomach churned and, barely getting up in time, he emptied his stomach in a nearby bush several times. He returned to the tree and sat down heavily, closing his eyes as he felt the pain begin to lessen. Slowly, but considerably soon, his body relaxed. The cool wind and quiet nightlife lulling him into a deep sleep. Now, thanks to the annoying little energy ball jumping on his back, he couldn’t even rest in peace.

“INUYASHA, PLEASE!!! WAKE UP!” Shippo screamed in his ear, causing the hanyou to jump up suddenly, throwing Shippo to the ground again, and landing on his head. Inuyasha groaned, holding onto his abdomen as he felt a certain weakness take over his body, and trembled, whispering the name of the one whose warmth he now craved.

“Kouga…”

“Inuyasha?” The inu hanyou turned to the little kitsune rubbing the painful lump on his head as he flopped down on the ground in front of him.

“What is it Shippo?”

“You promised to go to Kagome’s world yesterday,” he answered.

“Yeah, what of it?” Inuyasha asked again, rubbing his eyes, willing his body to calm down.

“Well, it’s already morning, so go,” he continued, before adding, “Please,” along with the best puppy dog eyes he could muster.

“Okay, Okay,” Inuyasha said, rolling his eyes as he leaned against the tree trunk. “In a minute.” He was a bit dizzy and the pain was still there, though it was much more bearable.

“NO! GO NOW!” Shippo yelled, crossing his arms over his chest in a huff, not caring whether he got beaten up by the hanyou for his arrogance. There’s only so much a kit could take.

“Shippo!” The kitsune turned around to see Kaede heading their way with two bowls in her hands. “He shall go to Kagome’s world when it is time. Now, leave him be,” she admonished gently, yet sternly. Inuyasha looked up, quietly amazed that the old miko was taking his side for once.

Shippo pouted visibly as he looked from Kaede to Inuyasha. “But, Kaede obaasan…”

“Shippo, child, it is not proper to whine like that,” Kaede advised. “Go inside, Sango is waiting with your meal.”

The pout changed into a well-defined frown and he was about to protest, but the look the miko gave him made the words die in his throat. He got up, nodded and headed towards the hut, halting occasionally to glance back to fix Inuyasha with heated glares, which the hanyou promptly ignored. Instead, he closed his eyes, trying to will the world to stop spinning so rapidly.

“Inuyasha, dear.” He opened his eyes to Kaede’s kind face looking down on him in concern, and couldn’t help the tiny whimper escaping his lips. “Here, drink this.” Kaede offered him a small bowl of slightly greenish liquid. He took a tentative sniff, the smell confirming a mixture of herbs.

“This will help you Inuyasha, drink up,” she urged gently.

He looked at her smile and took the bowl in his hand, the other still clutching his stomach. The liquid felt cool as it eased down his parched throat. Kaede looked on as he drank slowly from the bowl before handing it back to her. Inuyasha closed his eyes, leaning against the trunk; the herbs doing their job as the pain and the dizziness slowly began to recede. He opened his eyes to see Kaede still staring at him, smiling slightly.

“What do you want now?” he inquired wearily. Kaede just smiled wider in return, producing a small cloth to wipe off the sweat across his forehead. Normally, Inuyasha would have snapped at it, but now, it felt so good that he indulged the woman, letting her do what she wanted.

“Now, eat this.” The second bowl was placed in hands, the aroma of a delicious stew invading his senses and making his empty stomach growl with a vengeance.

“What are ya trying to do, old hag?” he barked, trying to hide his weakness behind a mask of arrogance.

“I am simply trying to help, Inuyasha,” Kaede answered with a smile as she stood up, grunting slightly. Inuyasha stared at her in disbelief. Why was the old hag being so nice to him? What was wrong with him?

“Have the soup Inuyasha. It will help you in your condition.” Inuyasha’s head snapped up in question, but he found the woman had already reached the entrance of the hut. He sighed and lifted the bowl to his lips.

Kaede watched from behind the slightly parted shoji as he gulped down the contents of the bowl and sighed.

“What have ye gotten yourself into, Inuyasha? Ye never cease to amaze me,” she whispered as she turned to a calm taijiya, listening to the kit complain about the hanyou as he gulped down his meal.

Placing the bowl on the ground, he wiped his mouth in his kimono sleeve. And after resting again for a few moments, he felt much better and decided to head towards his promised destination. He stood slowly, making sure he was stable before he yelled to inform the occupants of the hut that he was leaving for Kagome’s world. He then took off towards the well that connects the two worlds.

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As Inuyasha came nearer and nearer to the well, a certain fear began to pool in his tummy. ‘What will I say to Kagome? I confessed my feelings when she left, but I can no longer say the same. Things have changed… and for the worse.’ He stopped in front of the well, and sitting on it’s edge, he tried to contemplate the situation, never noticing how out of breath he was for covering this simple distance from the village to the forest.

“What if she says she loves me too? What will I do then? What if Kouga comes to claim her. I would never…” He left the sentence hanging, his heart growing heavy as he thought of his archenemy and now, the object of his affection. He was so confused at the moment; he couldn’t believe that he had fallen for the wolf so easily and in such little time. “I always fall, for things I can’t have, don’t I?” he sighed. Yet, when he thought of the days when he fought with the ookami, he realised that he never really hated Kouga. It was just that the wolf kept treading in his territory and insulting him that made him so mad. And he loved to fight with him. Inwardly, he marvelled at Kouga’s persistence in making Kagome his own. He smiled, remembering the times when he would engage in a spat-fight with the wolf. He missed those now, terribly. At least those fights ensured that he could meet Kouga, but now, being an omega, he was in no position to pick up a fight with his alpha, not that he wanted to….

His ears drooped over his head in distress. What was he to do now? “Oh Kagome, I am so sorry,” he sighed for the umpteenth time, hating himself more with every breath. “There’s nothing that can be done now. I will have to face this,” he whispered, taking a heavy breath, pushing away the serious urge to cry and then jumped down into the well, never noticing a pair of eyes watching his every move, hidden in the shadows of the distant trees.

“Interesting…Very interesting”

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Climbing up the well, Inuyasha slid the door open to the courtyard and stopped. Kagome was there in a beautiful, summer kimono, sweeping the ground as she softly hummed a song. Inuyasha stood there completely mesmerized, all things forgotten as he watched the young miko smiling softly as she twirled round and round with the broom in her hands, quite oblivious of her surroundings. The lump was growing in his throat, the dread settling in his stomach. His instincts were telling him to flee, to run back to his time and hide behind a tree. He snorted. Since when had he started to wimp out from tricky situations? Yes, he may have lost his position, but still, he was strong. He will not run away from this. Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the sunlight, a bit surprised that the stench of the modern day pollution didn’t seem to gag his olfactory senses that much.

“Ka…Kagome,” he called out, his body trembling slightly, the urge to run away getting stronger. ‘You are not a coward. You will face her bravely, you will not run,’ he kept on going over these words, drawing some strength out of it and maintaining his ground.

Kagome turned around and her smile slowly vanished as she acknowledged the figure standing before her. First, a strange fear gripped her, followed by an overwhelming sense of guilt. Her mouth suddenly went dry when Inuyasha’s words echoed through her mind.

“And remember… I love you.”

She was dumbstruck, her mind running a violent comparison between her demon friend and her current sweetheart, the latter winning by several points.

“I…Inuyasha,” she stuttered, smiling nervously. Each was scared beyond belief, but for different reasons. “W...what are you doing here?”

“Kagome…I –I came here to take you back,” he replied, wringing his hands some. “The danger’s passed and it’s safe to go back…and Shippo was getting worried.”

“Oh,” was the only answer she could muster at the moment. They stood there in silence for a few minutes, each trying to determine what to say next. No, Kagome didn’t want to leave her time so soon, not when she had a fun outing planned for next weekend and a movie and perhaps a dinner tonight. However, she was scared of how Inuyasha would react to her refusal in returning to the feudal era. The demon was pretty volatile when it came to her. Sure, she missed her friends back in the feudal era, especially Shippo, but she also had her life here. Houjo, slowly becoming an important part of it. She cannot leave, not so soon. So, she decided to present the hanyou with a careful and legitimate lie.

“Well… Inuyasha,” she looked up at the fidgeting demon, giving him the sweetest smile, watching the slight blush she managed to draw out from him. “It may be awhile before I return,” she started, watching Inuyasha closely for any outbursts or vile epithets coming her way, a little surprised and minutely disappointed when she received none. “You see, I have some really important exams coming up next week…” she cringed inwardly at the deliberate lie, but what as she was to do, she couldn’t possibly tell the hanyou that the real reason was because she was going to hit the beach with her friends for some summer fun. “… so, I have to study…But, I promise I will return the week after,” she explained further, now desperately wishing that the half demon gave her some reaction, something, not just standing there, staring at her face.

“Oh…Okay,” Inuyasha nodded, feeling somewhat relieved, and also a little sad. “I guess tests are important.”

Kagome frowned. ‘What the hell is wrong with him? Why is he acting like that? Here I am, telling him that I can’t come and all he has to say is, Oh…Okay. It’s as if he is hiding something from me, but even Kikyou is gone now…’ the name, leaving a bad taste in her mouth, ‘then what?’

However, she didn’t get much time to voice her concern, for at that moment, Mrs. Higurashii stepped out of her house, and noticing the half demon, she quickly approached him and began fussing over the hanyou. It was not long before Inuyasha was pulled into the house for a nice lunch, leaving Kagome outside, confused and quite disturbed.


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