A Dream Come True

Disclaimer - Lawsuits aren’t a happy activity…trust me. And trust me to trust you to trust me, that NO, I don’t own Inuyasha.

Thoughts – Anyone know a really good way to clear your pores without buying those pore-strip things? It’s a long story for why I can’t use them, and I seriously need something…! Can you say ‘ugh!’ I’ve tried all the soap I have (I buy glycerin soap because its not tested on animals-and yes I am REALLY against animal testing. Not an activist per say but I have strong beliefs.) And it hasn’t been helping so I figure that since mostly girls are reading this they might know. Anyway, I’m officially attached to “Fruits Basket” by Natsuki Takaya. But then again that’s not Inuyasha-related so ah ha ha ha…ignore me.

Apologies- Sorry about the wait. i emailed this chapter and Chapter 7 of ADTR to my beta's over a MONTH ago and nothing, no I decided that I'd just post them! So-if your reading ADTR, check it out! It's already posted!

Translations – Kashiwa-mochi : Rice cake wrapped in oak leaf.
Mokomoko boa – Literally, it is the name of the fluffy pelt Sesshomaru wears…!

Chapter 7: Fountain Of Tears

Tangled in nets
Of our wild philosophy,
Caught in the backlash
Of ideas ill-cast,
Heaving the lead
Into unplumbed infinity,
Baffled we stand
Beside the shore at last.
Snagged barbs, snarled lines,
Torn sails! What fishers we!
Teach us thy Skill
O Man of Galilee.
~Albert Reginald Gold (Poem “Fishers”)

“God damn, frickin-low down piece of crap with just-”

Bam

“No-”

Bam.

“USE!!!”

Crash.

Unsure whether to laugh or be wary of his antics, Kagome sat a good distance away from him, calmly reading one of the books she had brought over with her from her time. It was a book of poems from not just Japanese authors but American and English ones as well and she had already finished almost a quarter of it, no thanks to Inuyasha blowing up about not being able to pour boiling water into a bowl but instead pouring it on himself.

There was another crash and this time she cringed.

‘There goes my teakettle…’

Inuyasha cursed again as he threw the offending piece of now twisted metal away from him and she sighed, closing her book slowly as she turned her face towards him. He was huffing and puffing as he glared at the almost empty bowl, only a few drops of water within it. Beside it was a package of instant noodles - not Ramen, but another kind - and some kashiwa-mochi. Her blank eyes watched him for a moment before she calmly stood and picked up one of the rice cakes, the oak leaf around it sticking to the treat inside. Then, just as calmly, she sat down within the large gap in the middle of the tree and began to read.

“There’s no more water…” Inuyasha said after a few minutes of silence, and she shrugged in response, not looking away from her book.

“You shouldn’t have thrown a temper tantrum because of your own clumsiness.”

Inuyasha’s ears flattened against his head at her bluntness.

“You could help…” He muttered softly, half hoping she would hear. She either didn’t or didn’t want to as she said nothing.

‘She’s starting to remind me of my brother.’ He thought as he glowered over at her prone form. Yet after awhile, he grudgingly marched off back to the river a ways off to get more, the abused teakettle within one of his hands.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him go, shaking her head at her book as she watched him trip over something in his path and kick it soundly in return, swearing wildly as was his habit.

“A nasty habit my brother has.” A voice said directly above her head.

It sent warm tingles across her skin as she realized instantly who it was. It was funny how when it was him no fear came to her mind…and her heartbeat never became unsteady. It would flutter faintly, almost unnoticeably, and then become normal once again. With Inuyasha there was always a brief flash of fear. Her nerve endings all standing up on edge in terror, waiting…waiting for-

She smiled, never looking away from her book as she reached up and felt her fingers meet the warm skin of a face.

‘Sesshomaru.’ He pressed her hand closer into it, his silver hair cascading over her shoulder to curl around her ribs.

No…not while Sesshomaru was here. Nothing would ever happen to her while he was around. And she closed her eyes briefly at the thought, savoring it, letting it pour crystal clean over her still-closing wounds.

She had never had such faith in anything more then she did in him. Maybe not even before the rape. And why was that? How had she-a defiled girl-have captured this omnipotent demons attention? He could kill her at any instant-and so easily and quickly. And yet not a doubt clouded her relaxed mind that he would try. Not these days anyway.

It was just that easy with him there.

She breathed in the smell of him as he leaned down, surprising her by reaching over and cleanly swiping the book from her fingers as nimbly as pulling a blade of grass from the ground. She glared at her empty fingers and turned herself to look up at him.

“I was reading that!” Her cheeks became pink in her indignation.

From above her, Sesshomaru shrugged and gracefully sat down beside her, his eyes scanning over the print. She sighed heavily, tilting her head back against the tree since she knew she couldn’t retrieve her reading material without his consent.

‘The power he has over me…and I don’t even care.’ She thought, opening her eyes and glancing over at the smooth features of her lover. He didn’t even glance at her. Offhandedly, she realized how horrifying that was, and looked away, biting her lip as she did so.

“I was reading, you know.” She said quietly, feeling a light wind play over their bodies and stir the emerald grass around them. He remained silent, his mouth opening slightly as if to speak and closing again as he remained silent a few more moments.

“I cannot read these words.”

“Going dumb in your old age, are we?” She said teasingly, her mood brightening despite herself.

He glanced at her before flipping through the pages and scanning them as well.

“Not that you would know my age…human.” He added as an afterthought to see if he’d get a rise out of her. He didn’t.

“It’s in another language called English.” Kagome said after he began to turn it upside down and sideways. His eyes strayed to her face and then back before he handed it back to its owner.

“Useless. What good is it if I cannot read it?” He asked proudly, making her laugh.

“Clearly, you’re arrogance is unmatched!” She said, laughing again as he gave her a cold look.

“It is not useless, Sesshomaru. I know the language.” She said at somewhat smugly. He scoffed rudely at her, and she threw a clump of his own hair in his face in return.

“I doubt that somehow.” She said, ignoring him this time and casually beginning to flip through the book, trying to find her place.

“Huh.” He said offhandedly, somehow managing to sound insulting with the least amount of effort.

Surveying her he thought about how much progress she had made with his brother. It had been a whole week as of tomorrow morning, and while every now and again something small would widen the so called ‘gap’ between them, something else equally small would mend it back. Surprisingly she hadn’t gone back to her home in the future, but had instead just been using the things she had in her yellow bag from when she had first come. That puzzled him somewhat. Could it be that she wanted to truly patch things up between herself and his brother? She hadn’t mentioned a word of it to either of them while he was here, and when the subject had come up once, that was all she would allow. It was increasingly clear to him over that week one thing; she was still not ready for the truth of all truths.

The truth about who had raped her.

“Your doubt will be your undoing.” She said as she found where she had left off and began to read. Sesshomaru leaned over, whether to annoy her or to attempt to read it again she wasn’t sure. Instead, she sighed, closing it so that he would look at her face.

“Fine. I’ll read you one. You better listen though or I really will ignore you!” Her nose scrunched up as she talked and something close to a smile appeared on his face.

“Do as you please.” He said, settling back against the tree.

Satisfied, she turned to a poem she had already seen and settled back comfortably to read it.

Sesshomaru took that moment to glance at her fleetingly. She had done a lot of reading lately as well, some of the works useful, some not; some for pleasure, others for study. It amazed him at what she and her world knew. Man walking on the moon…structures as high as mountains…bridges that could span over oceans! And ‘humans’ of all creatures had created them! They had found ways to accomplish their needs without demons or animals to help or do it for them! He had been skeptical until she had shown him pictures and now he just couldn’t get over those. The capturing of something within a small rectangular box…and then have that spit out small squares that slowly create a picture…simply amazing. And what people in her age wore! For the sake of decency - for some people there was none! He shuddered inwardly. Men in skintight…"underwear", was what she had called them? Good kami no. And thongs! He was thankful that only he could know his thoughts. Kagome would surely kill him…and…well needless to say it wouldn’t end well.

“Are you going to stay? I mean…when Inuyasha comes back.” She asked him suddenly, brushing away his thoughts like a spider's web becoming lossened and floating away.

He didn’t respond, and she sighed , glancing down at the poem.

“It’s called “The Testing” by a man named Edwin Markham.” And then she began to read, her voice soft as she gave feeling to the words printed there.

“When, in the dim beginning of the years,
God mixed in man the raptures and the tears,
And scattered through his brain the starry stuff,
He said “Behold!” Yet this is not enough,
For I must test his spirit
That he can dare the vision and endurance.

I will withdraw My face,
Veil Me in shadow for a certain space,
And leave behind only a broken clue,
A crevice where the glory glimmers through,
Some whisper from the sky,
Some footprint in the road to track Me by.”

His silver bangs tickling the sides of his face as he listened to the words, his brain comprehending them - studying them - understanding what was being discussed. For a few brief seconds, he almost felt like he was the author, the imaginer of beautiful words…someone able to express what they felt as easily as the seasons cast their elements upon the earth.

“I will leave man to make the faithful guess,
Will leave him torn between the no and yes,
Leave him unresting till he rests in Me,
Drawn upward by the choice that makes him free-
Leave him in tragic loneliness to choose,
With all in life to win or all to lose.”

Done, she closed the book gently, running her hand almost lovingly over the cover as if in a caress.

“He’s one of my favorite writers…but I could never hope to write as well as he does. I never really got into it.” She looked over at Sesshomaru who was still silent and took his silver hair away from his shoulders to run her fingers through it. The gesture felt so intimate…so privileged. Who – if anyone, had ever touched his hair the way she touched it now? Caressing the long white strands, twirling the fine silk between her fingertips like solid water. It was an honor that she could not help but be grateful for.

“Can I braid your hair? Or…would you be irritable if I did that?” She asked hesitantly. He lifted an eyebrow at her and she blushed, tugging lightly at the strands uncertainly.

“You are very forward today.” He stated bluntly taking an unexpected pleasure in watching her squirm.

She looked away in shame, taking the words as a negative response. He noticed and brought his hand up to tip her chin up towards him.

“Foolish human.” And he kissed her.

She gave a small mew of surprise but surrendered quickly and easily beneath his touch. She felt his fingers graze the side of her cheek and slide into her hair, and she put one of her hands over it, feeling him begin to pull away.

“When will you see that you can have anything you so wish?” he asked softly, his honeyed breath sweet against her tinted skin.

Her mouth couldn’t have stopped itself from smiling if the entire world had been offered to her, and she put her other arm around his neck and hugged him.

“Why did you come to me so late?” She whispered, the side of her face burrowing into the side of his neck and inhaling evenly.

He was silent at her question, instead waiting until she pulled away again.

“You were going to…braid my hair were you not?” He asked instead, his eyes focusing deeply into hers, refusing to break away. She smiled again and nodded, lowering her eyes first to take a tuft of long white hairs. He turned, satisfied, and instantly felt the soothing feel of her fingers working through his hair. He allowed himself to relax as she did so, feeling her slightly calloused hands gently separating the long strands into three even parts.

‘The calluses…from my bow. I need to start practicing with it again…it’s been a long time since I’ve used it.’

“Kagome.” She paused to let him know she heard instead of vocally responding.

“It has been a week and things are becoming less stressful. However, I am afraid that this will not last.” She paused again at his foreboding words but then forced herself to continue on, her fingers tightening the first few braids so that she could do the rest without having any slack.

“You know what I speak of. Do not pretend not to.” He said gently, his voice still holding its unmistakable command.

She bit her lower lip softly in answer. She did know…they had to find out what had ‘really’ happened that night a little over a year ago…and yet she did not want to. It only brought back the painful memories…that was all! And they seemed to act as if they didn’t think she hurt from them!

Her hands unconsciously tightened on his hair but he did not flinch or remark about it. There was only silence as the two sat there. The breeze picked up again, causing his stray strands to float up around her face. She sighed and released his hair, watching it come apart as easily as dandelion seeds falling from their base, and turned her face away as shame came over her. Shame for not being brave enough to go out and find her attacker…shame for intentionally avoiding the subject…shame for allowing Sesshomaru to see her afraid of it all.

Shame for the feeling of being no longer an innocent.

“Kagome…”

Not answering him, she stood and turned away from him, walking a little ways out into the field to look around at the multicolored wild flowers. She watched them as they swayed back and forth in the breeze, puffy white clouds floating overhead as the sun began to disappear behind the trees.

“I don’t want to.” She said, feeling suddenly cold despite the mild September air.

She wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her hands back and forth over her bare arms to warm them. She heard nothing, even as warmth wrapped around her and she felt his hands close gently over hers, his larger body seeming to consume her in its protective shell. Despite herself, she shivered again, tears coming to her eyes as she continued to stare out at the gaily colored flowers. Pressing his face into her soft hair, Sesshomaru tightened his hold slightly around her.

“I don’t want to…so can’t we just forget about what happened?” She whispered again, the tears beginning to blur her vision.

Voices, smells, even colors from that night began to rush through her and she choked on them, unable to take them all in - trying desperately to force them back and failing.

“Kagome-”

“NO!” Spinning out of his embrace, she backed away from him, her eyes finally beginning to bleed thick clear droplets of salty tears.

“Don’t you understand? I can’t take the pain from it! I want to forget! I should be allowed to forget! It’s my right to! It doesn’t matter what you do - you can’t heal these scars!” She gritted her teeth together, her hands fisting in her hair as she continued to back away from him.

His eyes never left her figure but did grow sad, the golden irises catching the dying sun.

‘The dying sun…if she does not catch herself then she too will die. She will die in spirit.’

“You have to. If you don’t, it will consume you…and you will never be able to rebuild yourself from it.”

She gave a soft sob at his words and shook her head viciously.

“I just want to forget…”

“You can’t Kagome.”

Surprised at the new voice, she spun to the side and saw Inuyasha standing an equal distance away as Sesshomaru was. His hand was holding the mangled teakettle, silver hair so much like Sesshomaru’s, blowing in the breeze, but instead of white there was only red. And all she could think about was the red color of blood…virgin blood that had bled from her body upon her and some – some stranger –

She gave a small moan, shame, and months of fear beginning to override the distance she had come to recovering. In mere moments, all were gone, and she felt as raw and defenseless as she had been the day of the attack. She felt herself breaking, and didn’t know how to fight it – didn’t know how to survive any longer.

When your world is dying, how do you stop yourself from being thrown over the edge?

“He’s right. You have to confront it…confront it and spit into its face. You have to understand that we have to kill that evil…it’s what we’ve always done.”

She felt the torrent of tears uncontained, fall from her face and suddenly had no strength to stand. She collapsed to the ground, her hands still fisted in her hair. Immediately, Sesshomaru was there, bringing her into his arms only to have her scream, her small body struggling to get out of his grasp even as he wouldn’t allow it.

“No! No - let me go! You can’t make me! Just let me go or I’ll kill you! GOD DAMN YOU, LET ME GO!” She screamed again, her body stiffening as she began to punch him, her small fists slamming back and forth against his flesh but he held firm, his golden eyes becoming shaded by his bangs as he looked down at her, his arms coming round her to hold her close. She screamed again and punched harder, tears splattering against the white silk of his clothing but he didn’t bother with them. Neither did she. She felt her rage take her, fisting her nails into the cloth and trying to rip, raking across anything that felt like skin. She was a wild animal, terrified and backed into a corner trying to fight her pain and losing.

Se screamed again, her throat tightening from the strain but she ignored the feeling. Nothing mattered. Her hair whirled around her, tangling her arms as its length got in the way of her punches. She gave a howl, even as she let loose the rest of her energy, drowning out her frustrated fears into her lover’s unyielding chest. And then it was gone, and she collapsed against him, no longer able to fight.

Her cries became muffled into his kimono shirt as she huddled against his chest, and he bowed himself over her as if to shield her from the eyes of the world.

Why, he wondered at times, did he stay around to help such a broken specimen? What was in this woman that held him rapt – unable to break free. He could not bear to see her in pain, and yet at every moment she was. How did he never grow irritated or angry by it? Instead he felt only even felt a fresh desire to make her stop at any cost.

“Oh Kagome…as a oyster cannot stop itself from making pearls, you cannot stop yourself from grieving.” He whispered gently, his chin resting on top of her head.

“I can’t…no…Ses…shomaru I-” He placed a hand at the back of her head in an effort to silence her.

“Foolish girl…” He whispered softly against her cheek. Her body convulsed in answer as she screamed into the silken material and he closed his eyes, his body giving her an outlet for her misery.

“Get her something to drink.” Sesshomaru said authoritatively, his body never moving.

Choosing not to argue because of the current situation, Inuyasha swallowed his pride and did as his brother commanded, walking over to get the bowl he had been trying to pour boiling water into earlier. In it were the white pasta noodles he had been trying to cook.

He stared down at them for a few seconds, and then smacked them away to let them scatter across the grass. He bowed his head, his own bangs shading his eyes, and remained that way for a few moments before picking up the bowl and pouring the cold stream water into it. Turning, he began to walk back but paused slightly at a soft noise coming from Kagome and his brother. His brothers eyes were shaded, Kagome for the most part surrounded by him. The sound seemed to stop slowly as he came closer and then he realized what it was.

‘He’s singing…?’

Arriving next to them, the sound had stopped and Sesshomaru leaned back to take the bowl and tilt her head back a small ways.

“Drink this.” He said softly as she opened her eyes sleepily. She did as he told her to and when she had had her fill, put her head back against his chest, her tangled hair running over her shoulders and down her back to pool on the ground at their feet. In a few minutes, she was asleep and Sesshomaru wordlessly stood, holding her securely in his mokomoko boa.

“Where are you taking her?” Inuyasha asked as he began to walk back to the tree she had once been reading in. He paused over a small book at its base and picked it up to place the object in his pocket.

“The village.” Was all he said and then he was levitating on top of his red dust cloud.

His younger brother went after them until he had reached the part of the village where his brothers aura was coming from, arriving to see him bringing Kagome into her own hut. Following after them, he stepped inside to see Sesshomaru laying her on the tatami mat, pulling a thick sheepskin blanket over her to keep her warm and then stepping back to walk once more through the door.

“Come with me. And be silent.”


Hey all! Sorry for such a long wait on this thing. I’ve been…ah how all I can do is smile when I think about how drastically my life has changed. When I look at this story, and the way Kagome is with Sesshomaru…well all I can see is myself again. I’m just happy that her story will turn out the way I wish mine had. Ah…but not all stories have happy endings right? I’m still waiting for my dreams to come true.

alakeshadow