The Strongest, My Only

Disclaimer: I don’t own TIDE (or Inuyasha). In fact I don’t even know who does (own TIDE I mean…)

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Chapter 7: Not-So-Instant Instant Gratification


The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone
~Ibsen


What she had thought was once bad…was now worse. Infinitely worse.

After the incident with her body disappearing Inuyasha had forced her to tell the others about her dreams. And just as Kagome had thought they would if she should ever tell them, they turned their backs on her.

She had cried…bitterly cried, because it was all so unfair. She found herself wondering why all of this had happened-why had she been born a reincarnation of someone so personal to Inuyasha? Why had she decided to stick around like a good girl and find the broken shards? Why had she been forced through demon killings and shard hunting’s, forcibly pushed into her first love and now driven towards madness with Sesshomaru as her ghostly lover? Why…why…why? All she could think of was why-this and why-that. She soon found herself hating the word because it made her think of so many things all at once.

They all said they had stuff to do…even Shippo who had suddenly made some friends down by the rice paddy fields and had promised to play games with them today. Alone, she huddled into a ball, her tears the only thing that kept her focused on anything at all going on around her.

She felt herself missing them all…especially Inuyasha. He had not said it but she knew he had gone to Kikyo’s side. To talk about her or have something more she wasn’t sure and the thought made her bitter inside. It made her seethe with such vile anger and jealousy that she cringed inwardly from it.

She gave a quiet sob and curled tighter into herself, trying to swat away her emotions and having no success. She felt other things within herself such as brief surges of anger - not from herself but from somewhere else beyond the village. And somehow, she knew within herself that they were from Sesshomaru.

The thought made her shiver even as she felt heat beginning to pool within her stomach. Since her dream had proven his life was still intact she'd felt somewhat relieved, and yet at the same time horrified at that relief.

She wanted to know what was going on. Wanted to know what feudal Japan had in store for her now that Naraku was gone. For now it seemed that the only search Kagome had left to do was to find Sesshomaru and confront him - whether that meant her dying - or something else she didn’t know, and at this point just didn't care.

She shivered violently at the thought, feeling another flash of fury coarse through her, and hesitantly allowed herself to take it in. It did, in a wave so violent she felt as if her entire being might rip itself apart, but she endured, biting her lip, gritting her teeth until she felt her body give an odd ripple of something she couldn’t describe. Warm and alive, it made the flaying waves of hatred and confusion fade away-knocking them backwards until she no longer felt out of control, but on the contrary feel just the opposite way.

Looking down at her hands she saw them as they normally would be, saw no light, no discoloration, nothing…except for something…something small in the middle of her palm that she hadn’t noticed before. It would have been unnoticeable had she not been looking, but there it was, dead center, a small, perfectly shaped crescent moon.

For a while she just stared at it, unsure of what to make of something so coincidental linking her to the most unlikely man on the planet.

“That’s his mark…” She whispered out loud, taken aback by how loud the quiet words seemed in the empty room. With them came a quick burst of pleasure and she gasped, her eyes closing as her body jerked expectantly.

It was getting worse.

Looking quickly at the doorway, she neither saw nor heard any movement and relieved, looked back down at her finding. Tracing it with her forefinger, she sighed and looked away, closing her fist tightly as if to block out the image already imprinted in her mind. Wishing it could take away the oddly delicious shivers within her stomach.

So what did she do now?

Looking around she spotted her yellow bag and pulled it closer determined to distract herself. Thankfully, her thinking was successful and for a while afterwards she went through her different outfits, mismatching things to see the effect. She had no idea how long it went on for…but in the end she deliberated between a pair of silk pants or washed out blue jeans, choosing the latter of the two, with a cotton yellow shirt with the logo of TIDE adorning the front of it to complete the ensemble. Staring down at them she couldn’t help but feel a brief pull of normalcy enter her mind and it was comforting in her time of unhappiness. But just as suddenly it was gone as Sango entered the hut, saw she was awake, and froze in place, still half in half out of the doorway.

They stared at one another for a minute in silence.

“I’ll just come back later-” The slayer said nervously, inching slowly backwards out of the entryway.

“Wait!”

Her own words caught her off-guard and she flinched.

The other woman paused, waiting uncertainly for whatever the preistess might say.

“I know you all think I’m a freak.”

She was sure the bluntness of her words surprised her more than they did the demon slayer but kept herself together, refusing to collapse now aftre all that had already happened. She watched Sango shift uncomfortably.

“Kagome…that’s not true…it’s just that-”

“Just what?” She asked, suddenly becoming angry, suddenly welcoming how pissed off the entire situation was making her - SHOULD make her. She stood up, her thin cotton pajamas scratching together softly.

Maybe this was what she needed - to be angry - to be furious! It would help her to do what she needed to - it would help her be brave against something she knew she wouldn’t be able to face otherwise.

“I’m tired…” She said quietly, feeling the same feelings of dark anger and hatred course through her, taking her sanity with them. She felt them briefly touch across Sesshomaru’s, and felt his own feelings become even more violent, smashing against the wall she had made. She felt it building, churning, spinning, felt some unknown urge tell her to take down that very same wall and let his power in now that she was ready to take it.

And without really knowing why she did.

“We…all of us don’t know what to do…Inuyasha just left and-”

“He always leaves when it concerns me Sango. He goes to Kikyo instead…you all know that.” Her words were wrathful, making Sango cringe and finish backing out the door.

“No. Don’t leave just yet.”

She could feel them both merging, could feel his rage, his fury…she saw his blind, impotent outrage, saw his confusion and self-same bitter feelings of why this was happening. She felt his desire and how he kept it under lock and key - refusing to acknowledge it as anything other than some strange fluke.

She took it in wordlessly, feeling it wash over her until the pain of it all seemed to cleanse her, until she felt so raw it felt good. And when she opened her eyes she saw Sango bring a hand to her mouth in silent fear. And she had no doubt that she looked unlike her normal self.

She no longer felt like plain, powerless, weak Kagome. She felt…she felt insoluble.

“I will leave then…I think I know how to find Sesshomaru now.”

“H-how?” Sango stammered, her face slowly draining of color until it was white.

Kagome smiled.

“Because I just released him.”

She gasped again.

“But-but he-he wants to KILL you!”

“Exactly.” She looked down at her old human clothing, still held in her hands and dropped them to the ground, no longer needed the feeling of normalcy…no longer needed her past - only the present.

“Kikyo’s old priestess robes…I’ll need them.” She said quietly, smiling again as she felt Sesshomaru’s sudden realization that he was free, knowing that he was already on his way there, and that in his mind, there was nothing else other than the wish to end her life.

“And I would hurry. He’s on his way.” She said softly. Her once good friend seemed almost to disappear she moved so fast. When she returned moments later, it was to find the once pure miko in nothing but her underwear, curiously touching a circular mark the size of an orange directly between her narrow ribs. When she looked closer, she found that inside the circle lay two crescent moons intertwined within one another.

“What…Kagome - what IS that?” She asked, unsure of if she truly wanted the answer or not. Kagome looked up at her and whatever it was that had frightened her before, did so yet again.

“It’s the reason all of this is happening.” And with that she deftly took the robes from Sango’s hands and put them on. From within her mind there was a snap of power and she knew she had to leave now.

Slipping on her shoes she grabbed her bow, slinging her quiver of arrows over her left shoulder. She left her hair down, not bothering to tie it up the way a priestess was supposed to…the way Kikyo did.

“If…if I don’t come back…” And for a fleeting instant Sango saw the old Kagome once again in her face before it was gone again.

“Just…tell the others that I had to find out the truth for myself.”

And with that she left the demon slayer standing in the hut with nothing else but her old sleeping bag and now-crumpled clothing.

“But - BUT KAGOME - WAIT!” But she was already gone, running faster than she had ever run before, feeling her body become almost weightless, her form floating over the tops of the grass and through rocks and trees and bushes. Around her, the animals became restless, their noises stopping even as their senses became more alert.

Danger. It was coming fast and they all instinctively knew it.

*****

As Kagome had known, Sesshomaru knew the exact moment he was no longer confined to his castle, and the result was just as she had expected.

He was instantaneously on his way.

As he ran, he knew nothing other than anger and hatred - and as he felt her presence looming nearer and nearer he felt them rise, continuing to do so until he wanted to explode with it all.

On the wind he caught her scent, fresh and fragrant, smelling of almonds and vanilla and he snarled, physically slashing the air before him as if that could destroy it all just like that. It didn’t, and as she neared the scent became stronger and stronger, making him think of his dreams of her - the way her hair smelt so good - how soft her skin was beneath his hands as he caressed her. Her scent seemed to wrap around him, encircling his being until it was all he could smell or feel.

He cursed inwardly as he felt himself grow aroused, launching himself up and above the trees before him until he was soaring higher and higher within the sky, looking down on the land before him. And then he saw her, a spot of red and white amidst green.

His hands filled with poison, his mind clouding over with his need for death - for blood - but hers and only hers. None other would suffice, and in the exact moment when their eyes met, he saw something there that momentarily startled him from his bloodlust. Her eyes were glowing with a bright pink light that seemed to set the rest of her face aglow.

His own eyes narrowed, his body spinning around mid-air to slow down his speed. He landed without a sound upon the ground a few feet from her and having anticipated his arrival, she had slowed to a stop as well, her pink eyes watching his closely, as if waiting for something only he could do.

“You’re fast.” She surprised him by saying.

He glared at her in response, fighting the allure of her majestically sparkling eyes.

“Than I can only wish for your death to be the same.”

She smiled, those glowing eyes seeming to burrow deep within him and draw hot his hidden need for her. Another wave of almond and vanilla hit him full on and it was all he could do not to close his eyes and take it in deeper.

“You can’t kill me Sesshomaru.” His name rolled from her lips like silk across water and something similar seemed to slide across his skin at the same time.

He responded by pulling Tokijin from its hilt in one clean motion.

“You will not escape from me this time.” He said quietly, swinging the blade around to point it in her direction.

“I don’t want to escape from you.”

He paused, his eyebrows arching up suspiciously as she remained where she was, her bow still in hand, her arrows still slung across her back. Although he didn’t want to admit it to himself, her eyes were beginning to unnerve him. They made him feel…helpless, lost - out of focus with himself. They made him want to go to her and do everything that they had done in his dreams.

His iron-tight will was the only thing that stopped him.

“This is a trick.” He said, watching as she shook her head, her long hair shining in the bright sunlight.

“We both know I can’t trick you.” And she moved - faster than lightning, her body gliding to his side as she simultaneously pulled an arrow from her back and aimed. Caught off guard, he managed to launch himself upwards, dodging the shaft of glowing pink light even as it nicked the sleeve of his right arm in passing. She stopped directly beneath him, looking up at him, another arrow already notched.

“Look at your left palm Sesshomaru.” He glared down at her, teleporting to the right and attempting to slash the bow from her hands. Pulling backwards, she fired, missing him altogether.

“Little liar! This IS a trick-”

“NO!” the words were vehement, making him momentarily pause before he once more directed Tokijin directly into her face.

“You arrogant bastard…” She growled, quickly sidestepping to his left and up, watching the tip of his blade as he brought it down with a crashing whoosh.

She felt the air around her begin to vibrate and closed her eyes, feeling something within her begin welling up nearer and nearer to the surface until with a sharp cry, she felt everything within her burst. She felt Sesshomaru’s attack float by as if it were nothing but a gently summer wind and opened her eyes to see brilliant colors dancing all around her. Power vibrated through her being until she couldn’t tell ground from sky - until she didn’t know where she was or even who. Her eyes met Sesshomaru’s head on, and just like that, something wild within her broke free.

Closing her eyes, she felt her arms come up, her bow and arrows falling like impotent twigs to her feet, and she felt herself rising, felt clouds and stars beginning to race around her. She felt power - so much power that she felt eaten up by it, consumed and tangled up by its sheer brilliance.

“Enough of this foolishness.” Sesshomaru snarled. Slashing Tokijin to his side he launched himself forward, ready to end the entire ordeal between them.

In the last moment before he would have cut her in half her eyes opened, and he saw those same mysterious pink eyes delving into his. It caused him to pause just enough for her to slide to the side, her arm reaching out and catching a hold of his sleeve, jerking him back towards her. He opened his mouth to snarl but was never able to do so as her mouth closed sweetly over his, knocking all of the air from his body. His eyes widened, feeling temporarily displaced from his entire body. Beside him, Tokijin dropped to the ground, and gently, sweeter than any honey, he felt the caress of her tongue against his.

It instantaneously sent every nerve ending in his body aflame. He tried to fight it - but found that he just couldn’t - not with all the power in the world could he at that moment manage to stop himself - and as all thoughts left him, he kissed her back, one hand burying itself into her glorious, almond-scented hair, her silken body crushed into his roughened one.

He heard her mew softly into his mouth and felt himself loose himself, his other hand tangling in her robes, wanting to claw them away from her body, wanting to lay her skin bare to his eyes and feast himself on her as if he were a starving man that had not eaten in years-

It all happened at once. He heard the shouts of the others just as his hand delved through the opening in her shirt, felt a quivering pulse at his side where he kept his swords - and was blown backwards as a wave of her purification powers was expelled from her body into his own.

The loss of the feel of her body against his nearly drove him wild. Only the horrible sting of his flesh being purified allowed him to find reality so instantaneously.

His eyes flew open, his silver hair whipping around him as he caught his footing just before impact into the ground. Behind him, he heard the shouts of Inuyasha and his other group members. He was about to turn around and kill them when he heard a scream before him, and saw as Kagome’s body began glowing an angry pink color, waves of power flowing from her, causing the grass beneath her to bend backwards, becoming plastered to the ground and then blown away in chunks as the ground began to form a crater.

Awestruck - he heard her scream again, light exploding from her form straight up into the sky until it seemed to nearly outshine the sun. Putting a hand up before his eyes, he was temporarily blinded before an explosion knocked him backwards, dirt and purifying smoke covering him in a wave of heat and pain.

Launching his body upwards in order to escape the barrage of raining stones and dirt, he watched as her body gave one last scream of pain - and then fell, landing within the crater her powers had just created.

He watched it without understanding it - without knowing what to make of it all. Beside him, he felt another pulse from his swords and cursed as Inuyasha appeared directly behind him, swinging his blade wildly this way and that as was his way. He easily dodged the swings, taking one last look at the unconscious woman below him, and transformed into his silver ball of light, zooming away from all that had just happened, running away for the first time in his life.


Author’s notes- TAH DAH!!!! Another chapter-sorry it took so long though…you can yell at me later though because I have to make up for lost time and start on the next one…!