Killing Your Memories

all normal disclaimers apply



hello everyone! I'm not to proud of the last part of this chapter so if you think you can do any better than go for it, the next chapter will be a lemon, enjoy!







Chapter 7-



How long can you fight destiny?

What ways can you change fate?

You can battle against it for all eternity

You can morph it ‘til its unrecognizable

Because, in the end, destiny never existed

And your fate is what you make it







To my knowledge, no one knows of this, habit, of sorts I have. The release of power through the muscles in my legs, that raw pain that came after I sprinted for hours, the looks on other demon’s astonished faces as they watched me speed by, it has been something I have enjoyed since I was a pup. I became a blurred streak across my land, my cloths whipping harshly against my skin, my clawed feet cutting the blades of grass while making only a soft padding sound as I rush by, my hair and the end of my tail flagging out behind me, my hands relaxed so that they are forced back by the pressure created by the wind. I used the time to think about things since the process of running was so engrained in the very muscles that my legs could do it of their own accord.



It gave me a way out, a way to use all the coiled up tension in my body in a way that did not concern killing hundreds. I smirked, my legs were starting to feel heated, the beginnings of fatigue. It was a rare occurrence that I felt any true physical stress or pain, usually only in fights with my half brother, the only opponent even close to equal with me. I liked the pain, it reminded me that I was, in some way, alive. My blood hammered through my veins, making my throat hurt and my breath began to come in sharp pants so I progressively slowed my gait until I was merely walking.



My palpating heart eventually caught up with the rest of my body and began to slow to its original rhythm, my breath evened out into the deep calm pattern of rest, I stopped. For a few moments I stood, my back perfectly straight, my head tilted up slightly as I scented the air. I closed my eyes to the outside world as I stood in a large forest, one of my forests, alone among only the old, tall trees, and oddly, I found it lacking. Always had I been able to find peace when left by myself, but thoughts of a graceful and powerful women kept that peace from me. I knew that this had to stop, this dreaming and fantasizing was pointless, I sighed, if ever that destiny was available to us, surely I turned it into chaos by now, no longer even a possibility.



I’m not sure how long I stood there in partial meditation, attempting to reason my subconscious out of sending my mind such images and thoughts before a scent hit my nose that instantly obliterated any progress I might have made, my eyes snapped open. Kodora was riding Un-Ah and steadily approaching, however their pace was abnormally slow so I ran back in their direction to meet them, although I dreaded it.



I was soon within eye sight of them when I saw something I did not expect. Kodora was stroking Un’s neck while seeming to speak to it. As I came closer the reason for this became apparent, Un-Ah was exhausted. I paused a moment to look at them, Un-Ah was covered in a light sheen of sweat and hug it’s heads lower than normal, it’s strides were slow and labored and it’s breathing ragged, it would not hold out much longer. As soon as I came to this revelation, Un-Ah stopped it’s movement altogether and began rapidly tumbling towards the earth. Kodora yelped helplessly and yanked futility on the reins before slipping off the side and plummeting even faster. I dashed forward and jumped up to catch her and place her on the ground before running over, barely having enough time to place both hands over my head before Un-Ah crashed none to gracefully onto me. My elbows bent with the force but I easily kept the beast from falling any farther, he went limp in fatigue above me; apparently she had been fallowing my trail, chasing after me for a long time, a foolish thing to do. Un-Ah, as was now obvious, was far from strong enough for that, in reality, no one was.



I gently placed him on the ground and he sighed, closing his eyes in an attempt to recover. I turned to look at Kodora, whom had not even attempted to move from the spot where I had left her, “you do realize how long it will take of him to mend, do you not?” I stated unemotionally, placing my arms into the sleeves of my haroi, she simply shifted a bit in response but continued to lay as she was, stubborn as always. I walked over and knelt down beside her, she had once again donned the thick kimono I had, had made for her, the one she wore when she was without life, and white under kimono with a violet obi, matching her new markings. She pushed herself up into a half seated position, refusing to meet my eyes, “gomen nasai, Master,” and of all the things she might have said in that moment, that would have been at the bottom of my list. “You revived me, gave me another chance, letting me back into your home even after I had attacked you and I have been ungrateful, gomen…” my expression never changed though I did narrow my eyes a bit, where had my ostentatious Kodora gone? “However, this is not what you have come for…” she looked up at me slightly confused, I sighed and stood. “You have come here to hear me apologize to you.” I turned my head away from her, “and this Sesshoumaru does apologize for his actions against your free will and his intrusion upon your life,” I stepped away from her and let my hand fall to my sides, saying the hardest thing I ever had to say, “I am sorry, I will not force you to stay with me any longer. You can leave now and go where ever and do what ever, I will not stop you anymore.” I closed my eyes and listened as her clothing shifted as she stood, at the time I truly thought she was going to leave. However, I heard her bare feet petting the grass as she walked closer and touched my shoulder.



Electricity shot through my body from the point were she touched me and I turned away from her, as one turns away from a pet they released into the wild but will not leave. “Then even if I choose to stay you cannot stop me…” I turned to face her fully and she placed her small hands on my chest and tilted her head back so as to look into my face, “Master, I understand now, you did what you did in my best interests, I never knew my mother and as such I have no right to be angry with you,” her crystalline eyes sparkled, “you have given me everything I never deserved, and even humored me as I fell in love with you…” she blushed and down cast her eyes, if only she had known, “and now I owe you my life, Sesshoumaru-sama, gomen for not having seen it sooner… I have cost you so much… so much pain…”



I knew she was referring to the rampage I went on after her death; she pushed her hands against my chest, pushing herself away from me and turning around, clasping her hands in front of her, “you should also know that- that I,” she hesitated for a moment, “I still love you, my Master.” I chuckled darkly and used my youkai speed to come behind her, only a hairs breath away. Here she was, in the middle of nowhere, confessing her feelings, totally vulnerable, clearing me of any doubts, any reasons to not return that love, my inner demon demanded I take her, and, as her scent surrounded me, I fell back on an old quote of mine, ‘this Sesshoumaru will not be denied of anything he wishes.’ The sun began to set, and I let my demonic side have partial control, not to become fully dominant, but I relaxed my leash on it, just a little. She would not get away now, she had her chance to leave and instead she walked up to me, it was too late for her.