A Question Of Honor

A/N: This chapter is a turning point for Kagome. Please enjoy the latest chapter and please review. Thanks.
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She was so damn tired of crying. She had looked in a mirror and could not even recognize her own face. Her cheeks had hollowed out and her eyes looked dead. Naraku had truly defeated her.

She was also tired of cowering behind people whenever someone new came near. Once upon a time she would greet the newcomer with a smile and kind word, but now, she could not stand to look at people, well, most people.

Her new guardians were something else. She loved their accents and the fact that they were so careful with her, but she was still very lonely. She hated feeling helpless, and it disturbed her that she had fallen so far.

Oh, she still hurt over what her ‘friends’ had done to her, but she was much more angry over the fact that she could not even fight back. That was what really got to her. She could almost bet that if she could have fought like Sango or shot an arrow like Kikyo that they would not have left her behind. But, in reality, she was nothing like Sango or Kikyo. She did not betray those that she called friend.

She huffed the stray hair out of her eyes and shrugged. Karin had been trying so hard these past few weeks to get her to get involved with her own care taking, but she had not wanted any part of it, until now.

She reached over and grabbed a fresh kimono. It was time to attempt a comeback, even if she had to start slowly. She went to her door and peeked out. Her guardians had been called into a meeting with Sesshomaru and so, she was left to her own devices. She walked down the long hall until she got to the hot springs and she entered.

She placed the new kimono on a chair and then slid out of her old kimono. She undid her hair and shook it out of its usual braid. Her hair was limp and needed a good washing. She stepped into the hot water and waded into the middle, allowing herself to grow accustomed to the temperature before dunking her head underneath.

At first, she moved very slowly, as if taking baby steps, but as she got into the task of cleansing herself, Kagome eagerly washed her hair and body as a small flicker of pride found its way up from the dark depths of her soul.

When she had washed off, she climbed out of the water and dried herself off, then donned the kimono that she had chosen to wear for the day. It was a light pink with white blossoms stitched on the sleeves. Instead of twisting her hair back into a braid, Kagome decided to leave her hair down and smiled at her reflection. She felt a bit better now that she had actually done something for herself without being told.

When she exited the hot springs, she decided to take a walk in the gardens. It was a sunny day and perhaps a walk in the sunshine would help further her blossoming mood. She walked outside and spied two female soldiers sparring with each other. Both females were fighting with swords and as the swords clashed, Kagome’s eyes grew wide. She watched the females intently and envied their skill. If only she had known how to handle a sword then she would not be in the predicament that she was in now.

When the females finally finished, they laid down their weapons and hurried over to a male guard who had called them over. They disappeared into the palace and had left their weapons behind.

Kagome walked over to where the females had stood. She looked around and then bent down to grasp one of the handles of the swords. It was heavy and felt awkward within her hand. It took both of her hands to lift the sword from the ground and she wondered how those females had learned how to use the sword single handedly.

She wrapped her other hand around the hilt as well and lifted the sword. She heard a sigh and glanced over her shoulder. Balthazar was leaning against a tree, his arms crossed across his chest.

“What are ye doin’, wee one?” He asked, his eyes trained upon her. Kagome shook her head and allowed the blade of the sword to fall to the ground.

Balthazar pushed off from the tree and came to stand beside Kagome. “Le me guess…ye think that if ye could fight, then the cowards would not have allowed ye to be violated, right?” He asked.

Kagome felt her cheeks redden. Was this guy a mind reader? She glanced down at her feet and slowly nodded. Balthazar had hardly spoken to her since their arrival and now, here they were and he had said more to her then he ever had. She really liked his voice. It was deep and rich, kind of like Sesshomaru’s.

“I see. Well, ye are no’ holding the sword properly. Let me show ye how.” He said as he stood behind her. He gently placed his hands upon Kagome’s and guided her hands into the proper position upon the hilt. Then, he helped her lift the sword up. “Ye see, ye hold the sword like this. Now, let’s work on yer stance.”

For nearly an hour, Balthazar taught Kagome how to stand while holding the sword. When he decided that they had practiced enough, he took the sword from her hands and glanced down at her.

“Know this, wee one, ye are not responsible for the actions of others. Ye were simply the easiest target for them and should not hold yerself accountable for their decisions. That bein’ said, from now on, we will be training together. By the time we leave this cursed land, ye will know how to defend yerself.” Balthazar promised.

Kagome did something that she had not done since the attack. She nodded and actually gave him a small smile. She turned away and walked towards the palace. She actually had something to look forward to and could not wait until the next day. Balthazar would be an excellent teacher.

Balthazar watched the miko walk away with her head held high. What the lass really needed was to have someone teach her how not to be a victim anymore. He had spoken with Karin and they had agreed that Connor’s infatuation with Kagome was getting worse, so it would be a good thing to have each of the males teach Kagome a skill that they knew. Payton would teach Kagome how to act in youkai society, Dageun would teach Kagome how to dance, Ewan would teach Kagome about nature and its many uses, and he, of course, would teach Kagome how to defend herself. Conner would have to wait until after her lessons to spend time with her and hopefully, with the time away from her, he would get his head out of his arse.

Turning around, Balthazar’s eyes narrowed. He stood up straight and shrugged. “Are ye spying on me, Laird Sesshomaru?” He asked.

Sesshomaru’s golden eyes narrowed. “What do you think that you are doing? Kagome is not to handle any kind of weapon.” He said.

“Kagome is going to learn how to defend herself. Ye cannot be with her all of the time, nor can we, so it would be best if she could take care of herself until help arrived.” Balthazar sneered.

Sesshomaru did not like the look in the large inu’s eyes. It was clear that the inu was protective about Kagome, but Sesshomaru wondered if the protective feelings were that of a guardian or that of a prospective mate. Growling, Sesshomaru turned on his heel and he walked away. He did not need to provoke a fight, at least, not now. He would think about this current situation and then handle it

Balthazar watched Sesshomaru walk away with a smirk upon his lips. By Dagda, he hated that arrogant bastard. He threw the sword down onto the ground and stalked towards the castle. He was nearly to the door when he caught a sudden movement out of the corner of his eye.

He jumped up into one of the trees and watched the intruder carefully. When the intruder emerged, Balthazar’s eyes narrowed and he barred his fangs. It was that damn wolf who had caught Kagome as she fell. He was clearly looking for something, and Balthazar could bet that the something was Kagome.

Kouga did not mean to come so far on his hunt. He had not realized that he was near the palace until he saw the walls, and he had decided to turn around. As he made his way back into the woods, his ears picked up a sound and he quickly jumped out of the way.

Both males quickly got into fighting stances and glared at each other. “What in the name of hell are ye doin’ here, wolf?” Balthazar demanded.

Kouga snorted. “I was hunting, if you must know. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get our dinner for tonight.” He snarled.

Balthazar snickered. “Do ye honestly expect me to believe that bullshit? Ye were out lookin’ for Kagome.” He said.

Kouga dropped his defensive stance. “No, I wasn’t.” He said, quietly. “Believe it or not, I don’t want to see Kagome. Looking at me would be too painful for her, and I won’t hurt her anymore.”

Balthazar straightened up. “So, do the others feel the same as ye?” He asked, scorn clear in his tone.

“I don’t know. Miroku wants to speak with Kagome and apologize for his part, Inu Yasha and I both believe that we all have gotten what we had coming to us, but Sango seems to think that we have paid enough for our crimes.” Kouga replied.

“Sango is a fool. She does no’ understand that she has only begun to pay for her crimes.” Balthazar muttered.

Kouga nodded, and turned his back. “Yeah, well, time is wasting and I have meat to hunt.” He said. He took off in the direction that he had come from and left Balthazar standing alone. The large inu shook his head and then turned towards the keep. He needed a nap.
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Kagome continued to improve day after day and could often be heard, at times, giggling at a joke that Ewan had made. She and Ewan had a love for laughter and at his side, she had learned how to smile again. Dageun was also a lot of fun. He was teaching her how to dance and would often compliment her on her gracefulness.

“My dear, if ye were a lass in Scotland, there is no’ a keep that could keep me away from ye.” He said as he twirled Kagome around the ballroom. He chuckled when Kagome’s face turned red and hid itself in his shoulder.

Karin had told Kagome that if she continued to improve, then she would start allowing Kagome to go into the neighboring village, with a guardian, of course, and look around. It excited Kagome and she looked forward to the day when she could leave the palace. However, late at night, when she was in her room, the nightmares would come back and she would find herself tucked away in Conner’s arms, safe from her dreams.

But, as much as Kagome liked spending time with the Scottish inus, she had also come to look forward to her walks with Sesshomaru. At first, she had blamed him right along with the others, but it occurred to her that he did not spew cruel words at her, nor did he participate in tying her up. However, even though her anger at Sesshomaru had diminished, her anger at the others, had not. In fact, Kagome was so angry with them that she had started to picture one of them each time she and Balthazar practiced and thrilled each time a blow struck. If only she had the real thing in front of her.

Her anger finally bubbled over on the day that Karin had finally agreed to allow Kagome to go into the village. Balthazar, Dageun, and Payton had agreed to go with her while Conner and Ewan stayed behind to help Karin. As they wandered from shop to shop, the males’ arms heavy with packages, Kagome continued to find little things to buy. Sesshomaru had given her quite a bit of money and Kagome had insisted on buying her guardians and Karin some gifts along with buying some toys for the pups and a new ball of yarn for Kirara to play with.

They had finally decided that it was time to go back to the palace when Kagome came face-to-face with Sango, Inu Yasha, and Miroku. At first, no one said anything, but then Balthazar quickly came to Kagome’s side and said, “Kagome, it is time to return to the keep. Let us go, lass.”

Sango’s eyes were filled with tears and she looked around helplessly. “Kagome, I am sorry.” She said. She reached out to touch the young miko, but Kagome viciously slapped her hand away.

“Don’t touch me, traitor.” She snapped. She could see the inus of the village stop and watch the confrontation and they murmured amongst themselves that they could not believe that the former friend of their lady had dared to speak to her.

Sango’s face turned white and she shook her head. “Please try to understand, Kagome. It was all an accident. We did not mean for anything to happen to you.” She said, her mind searching frantically for words to make Kagome see her point of view.

Balthazar was about to speak up, but Kagome beat him to it. “You want me to understand, Sango? Oh, I understand perfectly. I understand that when I did my best to help all of you, you stabbed me in the back. I understand that everything I sacrificed by coming back and forth to this era was nothing to any of you. I understand that you laughed behind my back for a very long time before you decided to take action against me. So, you see…I understand everything.” She sneered.

Inu Yasha cleared his throat. “Kikyo set us all up, Kagome. It was she who did all of this. If she had not betrayed us, then none of this would have happened.” He explained. He kept his eyes on the large inus behind Kagome. He simply did not trust any of them.

Kagome began to laugh. She could feel the stirrings of hate within her body and she watched as the silver haired hanyou stepped closer to her. She could hear the inus growling at Inu Yasha, but he paid them no mind as he reached out to touch her. Without thinking, Kagome instinctively held her hands up and palms out, and a bright pink light shot forward, hitting Inu Yasha in the chest and repelling him back several feet. When he finally stopped moving, he clutched his chest and groaned before falling to the ground.

Kagome’s eyes were wide and she shook her head. She turned and looked at Balthazar and showed him her hands. “Did you see that? Did you see what I did? I still have it. I still have my miko powers. But, I thought that when a miko was violated, she lost her powers.” She murmured.

Balthazar shook his head. Dageun grinned and said, “Let us leave before the half-breed awakens. I donna think that they will be touching ye again, Kagome. Ye can figure all of this out when we return to the keep.”

Kagome slowly nodded and felt Balthazar take her arm. She continued to stare at her hands and barely noticed the village inus bowing down to her as they left the village.

When they returned to the palace, Balthazar went to Lady Karin, who was sitting in the study with Laird Sesshomaru. He closed the door and said, “Lady Kagome still has her miko abilities.”

Karin stood up. “Are ye sure, lad? How do ye know?” She asked, her eyes widening in shock. She glanced at Sesshomaru and saw that he was also surprised.

“Kagome confronted three of the traitors in the village and she sent the half-breed flying back. She was as stunned as we were and I think that the ordeal has tired her. I donna think that the half-breed will be touching her ever again.” Balthazar sneered.

Sesshomaru stood up. “Very well. I wish to speak with Kagome in private and will do so this evening. I will begin training with her to control her miko abilities, if she still has them and if the incident this afternoon was not simply a fluke.” He said.

Karin slowly nodded. She had stopped looking at Sesshomaru as one of the traitors when it became apparent that he had no real part in the crime. Conner, however, had decided that the laird was just as guilty and needed to be punished. But it was Kagome’s opinion that mattered and Kagome seemed to have forgiven the laird and had made a very good attempt at being friendly with him, though it was clear that he still intimidated her.

Karin made her way out of the study and up the stairs. She paused at Kagome’s chambers and decided to peek inside. Ewan stepped to the right and shook his head. “Connor has been inside with the lass ever since they returned from their outing. He was quite angry that she had been exposed to the traitors. Lady Karin, his fascination with the lass is getting’ worse.” He murmured.

“I know, lad. Conner has convinced himself that Kagome needs him as both her protector and suitor. The lass is still very fragile. I think that me son and I will need to be havin’ a talk. Go find Balthazar and tell him that he is to watch over Kagome during the nights from this point on.” She said, her voice firm.

Ewan grimaced, but did as he was told. Balthazar was no’ goin’ to be likin’ this.
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Karin saw Conner look up at her when she entered the room. His face turned hard and he shook his head.

“I heard ye out in the hall and me answer is nay. I love ye, mother, but donna be forgettin’ which one of us is laird.” Conner snapped, his tail snapping wildly behind him.

Karin shook her head sadly. “Ye love her, is tha’ no’ right?” She asked, her voice soft. When her son nodded, she continued, “Conner, she is hurtin’, lad. She canna return yer love, nor can she be expected to heal if ye are constantly protecting her. Let Balthazar take yer place, at least for a few days, and let us see if she make further progress.”

Conner barred his fangs at his mother, something he had never done before, before he growled, “Nay. She sleeps in me arms and tha’ is final. Leave this room, mother.”

Karin backed away slowly, her heart racing. Never before had she seen her son so angry. She closed the door and jumped when a hand fell upon her shoulder.

“I take it that he did no’ care for yer suggestion.” Balthazar said, his tone dry. He watched as Karin shook her head. “Nay, lad. He was very angry. Let’s give him some space. When he calms down, we will speak about this matter again.” She replied.

Balthazar nodded and watched as Karin walked down the hall, her head hanging. Griffin came up beside him and growled, “He forgets his place.”

Balthazar nodded. “Aye. But, that is wha’ love does to ye, I suppose.” He replied, his arms crossing over his chest.

Snorting, Griffin turned and began to follow Karin down the hall. When she entered her chambers, he stood at the door, his hand poised to knock, and heard the heartbreaking sounds of her crying.

Turning on his heel, Griffin began running back to where the source of Karin’s grief sat, determined to teach the lad a lesson in respect. No one disrespected Lady Karin and got away with it, not in his lifetime.