A Pup and a Cub

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Inu Yasha. * Sticks out tongue and crosses eyes* Nor do I own Chuck Berry’s song, “My Ding A Ling”.

A Pup and a Cub by FrustratedPhoenix

Chapter 7: Buddha’s Cub


Cursing under his breath, Miroku slowly limped along the forest path dragging his battered and bruised body toward Edo. The deviant monk’s descent from the Goshinboku had not been graceful and his heart still pounded from the sheer terror of plummeting toward cold, hard earth.

“Damn dog! When I get my hands on that conniving, little…”

It galled him to admit to himself how easily he had been tricked into climbing the God’s Tree. “Outsmarted by a puppy, how embarrassing.”

Miroku winced as sudden, intense pain pulsated from his lower back. Immobilized by the shooting pain, Miroku stood like a broken flower stalk in the middle of the forest path. Slowly he moved his right hand behind his back and gently massaged the tender area.

Envisioning various methods of torturing Inu Yasha kept Miroku’s mind from focusing on the spasms wracking his abused body. “Enough of this nonsense, I am a servant of Buddha. I am stronger than this. Were all those years of training in vain?”

He hissed as he forcibly straightened his back. Smiling triumphantly he thought, “That was not so ba…”

“OH HOLY FUCKING BUDDHA!” Miroku roared to the heavens as another wave of excruciating pain coursed through his body. As the spasms attacking the tightly clenched muscles in his lower back subsided, the sore monk slowly became aware of his surroundings.

“Good afternoon, Ladies.” A blush stained the worldly monk’s cheeks as three elderly village women disapprovingly shook their heads at him. Miroku cleared his throat to explain then thought it prudent to remain silent.

The elderly women clucked like disgruntled hens as they passed the humiliated monk. With a sense of envy, Miroku irritably watched as they briskly walked down the path. Sighing, he continued his slow, painful trek toward Edo.

Several muscle wrenching spasms later, Miroku discovered a gait that did not wreak havoc upon his aching back. By slowly extending his left leg out to the side then forward, he could then move his right foot forward without doubling over in pain.

As Miroku neared the farms on the outskirts of the village, farmers stopped their work to stare in wonder at their resident monk’s odd actions.

“What is he doing?”

Miroku nonchalantly continued along his way.

“I always thought he was strange in the head.”

Grinning, Miroku waved to the farmers.

“Must be some new form of exorcism.”

Miroku halted in the middle of the path. Turning to face a field, the monk made praying gestures with his hands as he pretended to chant. Acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred, Miroku continued his strange gait down the dirt road.

As he neared a bend in the road Miroku heard squawking noises and loud, angry shouts. Chaos greeted the injured monk’s eyes as chickens erupted from a hen house in a flurry of feathers trailed closely by a howling Kouga. Yelling in rage while waving farming tools wildly in the air, the farmer and his wife chased after the naked Wolf Prince. But raiding was a skill in which Kouga naturally excelled and the thieving cub easily dodged the enraged farmers.

Ignoring the pain, Miroku quickly hobbled toward the peasant farmers shouting, “I beg you. Please calm down. Chasing him will only encourage him.”

The farmer glared at Miroku. “Out of my way, Monk!”

“Do not hurt him. He is just a cub. If you stop chasing him he will…”

Ignoring Miroku the farmer brushed past the pleading monk. Turning soulful eyes toward the farmer’s wife, Miroku said, “Surely dear lady you are compassionate enough to spare the life of one of Buddha’s creatures.” She glanced at Miroku as if he were insane before hustling to corral the terrified chickens back into the hen house.

Easily evading the farmer’s futile attempts to capture him, Kouga swiftly caught a chicken, wrung its neck and climbed to the roof of the hen house. Spittle sprayed from the farmer’s mouth as he screamed obscenities at the demon cub. Kouga simply ignored the farmer as he used his sharp, baby fangs to tear into the chicken’s flesh.

Miroku watched in morbid fascination as Kouga devoured the carcass. The cub only stopped his feasting to spit out the occasional feather. Shaking himself out of his stupor, Miroku limped toward the incensed farmer.

Donning his most pious expression and speaking in a deceptively humble voice, Miroku began bullshitting the farmer. Snippets of Miroku’s weak arguments defending Kouga filtered through the haze of the farmer’s anger. “…innocent…acting upon instincts…practically a baby…”

The farmer and his wife stared at Miroku in amazement as the monk blithely spouted outlandish reasons to spare the demon whelp. Having calmed down enough to realize the damage could have been far worse, the farmer laughed to himself at some of the young monk’s absurd claims. “An innocent demon? What kind of fool does this boy take me for?”

Noticing the shrewd glint appear in the farmer’s eyes, Miroku began fearing for his money.

The farmer held up his hand for silence. “Seeing as how there wasn’t that much damage…and because he is one of Buddha’s creatures, I won’t kill the mongrel…if you pay for the hen he ate.”

“I am but a poor monk, a humble servant…”

“Of Buddha. I know. My rates are reasonable. If you can’t pay I’ll let you work it off.”

“Ah, yes. I would be happy to exorcise your home of angry spirits.”

“Don’t need it. You’d mend my fences, feed the livestock, things like that.”

Miroku’s muscles twitched in pain at the mere thought of physical labor. “How much for one chicken?”

“SQWAAAAAAAK!”

“Two chickens?”

Kouga belched as he patted his bare belly. He hadn’t really been hungry enough for two whole chickens but couldn’t control his greed; it was rare to be surrounded by such bounty and not have to fight for scraps. Peering from his perch atop the hen house, he watched in curiosity as a familiar looking human argued with an older man. “Where have I seen the human male wearing the funny, purple dress before? Oh Yeah! From this morning. He talked to the human girl with the pretty smile, the one who helped me climb out of that metal thing.”

Miroku glanced at the Wolf Prince lying sprawled naked atop the chicken coop. “Do I truly wish to help Kouga. He is a fair weather ally at best. I doubt he would assist me if our situations were reversed.” The monk’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “It is no use. No matter how annoying the wolf is, I can not leave him defenseless in this state. Why must I be cursed with such a generous nature?”

The monk grimaced as he reluctantly handed his money pouch to the farmer. “You can let go of the pouch now.” Miroku blushed as he realized he had been staring longingly at the pouch still clutched tightly in his hand.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Monk.” The farmer grinned wickedly at Miroku. “Good luck getting the demon child down.” Tossing the pouch up and down in one hand, the farmer turned and walked away.

“Shit!”

Miroku rubbed his eyes before lifting his weary gaze toward the demon cub.

“Kouga.”

“Human.”

“Climb down.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“If you come down, I will take you to Lady Kaede and she will give you delicious treats to eat.”

Kouga shrugged. “Not hungry anymore.”

Miroku’s last tenuous thread of patience snapped; he was in tremendous pain, his body was one giant bruise and he was completely broke. All the young monk desired to do was collapse into sweet oblivion until Azarni’s curse upon Inu Yasha and Kouga ended.

“Fine! Stay up there for all I care! It looks like it might rain; try not to get too wet.” Mustering the shredded remnants of his dignity, Miroku turned his back to Kouga and huffily shuffled toward the dirt road.

Deciding Miroku might be as much fun to torment as the two idiotic wolf demons from earlier, the mischievous cub hopped off the coop’s roof and trotted after the disgruntled monk.

Miroku’s ire grew as the irritating demon cub ran in circles around him while Miroku painfully limped through the village toward Kaede’s temporary dwelling.

“You walk funny, Human.”

Miroku’s good leg itched to send the annoying whelp flying across the village into the nearest field. “Resist temptation, he is but a cub.” “It is not nice to mock the injured. And my name is Miroku, not Human.”

Shaking his head patronizingly Kouga said, “Humans are weak. How do you manage to survive the day?”

“By drowning annoying, little curs.”

Sighing to regain some measure of composure Miroku stated, “Humans are more resilient than demons believe.”

Kouga pounced landing hard on Miroku’s injured foot. It took every last ounce of his restraint to keep from screaming in agony as shooting pain seared through his tender foot. Miraculously, Miroku merely whimpered.

“You wimp. Ginta fell out of a tree once and didn’t even cry. It was a couple of days before he woke up, but he wasn’t hurt.”

Taking a deep breath, Miroku closed his eyes and said through gritted teeth, “He must have landed on his head.”

Kouga stopped and looked at Miroku in wide-eyed wonder. “How’d you know?”

“Spiritual powers.”

“Hmm. Maybe you’re not useless afterall. Can you predict the future?”

“Are you familiar with palm reading?” Kouga bobbed his head up and down. “Well sometimes I can gather clues about a person’s past, present and future by merely glancing at their hands.”

Kouga leapt onto the rail of a nearby fence. Shoving his right claw into Miroku’s face, the eager cub demanded, “Read my paw.”

“Perhaps later.”

Kouga flexed his paw causing his sharp claws to extend. “Read my paw.”

Miroku glared at Kouga. “By all that is holy I will never interfere with Inu Yasha’s attempts to eliminate Kouga again.”

Carefully avoiding Kouga’s claws, Miroku gingerly held the cub’s hand then gently turned it over. Miroku’s eyes squinted as he stared at the impatient young demon’s palm for several moments.

“Ooooooooh!” exclaimed Miroku. The Wolf Prince grinned showing the tips of his baby fangs.

“Hmm. Oh no!” gasped the monk. Kouga slightly paled and his eyes grew round with apprehension.

“Whew!” said Miroku. The nervous cub sighed in relief.

“Uh oh!”

“Uh oh, what? Tell me!”

“It is nothing. Really. Absolutely nothing. Nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.”

Kouga panicked. “TELL ME!”

A grim look appeared upon Miroku’s face. “Are you certain you wish to know?”

Panting heavily, the nervous cub shakily nodded his head for Miroku to continue.

Miroku was thoroughly enjoying his petty revenge. As he prepared to further scare the hell out of the insolent whelp, Miroku noticed they had attracted an audience, an entirely female audience. “Damn! Scaring children witless is never appreciated by women.”

The flirtatious monk winked at the village maidens as if he were harmlessly teasing the young cub. Miroku deepened his voice and dramatically declared, “You will grow up to become a fearless warrior. You will endure hardship and overcome suffering to someday rule your own pack.”

Kouga’s grin was smug as he cockily held his chin high. “I knew it!” The girls giggled when Kouga’s tail started wagging.

“What’s so funny? Silly human girls!” The cub crossed his arms and glared at the young women causing them to laugh harder.

“Awww! He’s such a fierce, little soldier already.”

“Maybe their smarter than I thought.”

“And handsome, too.”

“Why, yes. Yes, I am.”

The girls could no longer control themselves. A particularly buxom maiden embraced the adorable cub as the others rubbed his ears, ran their fingers through his ponytail and petted his tail. Kouga simply took it as his due.

A lecherous glint appeared in Miroku’s eyes as he forced himself not to rub his hands together in perverted glee. “Praise Buddha! The mutt has them wrapped around his tiny paw. This hellish day may yet be salvaged.”

As the young women continued to cuddle and tickle Kouga, Miroku told them about Kouga’s curse. Embellishing slightly, the silver-tongued monk wove a tale of romance and tragedy about two dueling suitors cursed by a bitter miko. The girls listened with baited breath as Miroku recounted his anguish over Inu Yasha’s disappearance and his righteous anger over Kouga’s abandonment. With eyes lowered and his beaded hand held over his heart, Miroku modestly spoke of his heroic rescue of the cub from certain death by the vengeful farmer’s hands.

Even as a cub, Kouga knew when he was being used. The young Wolf Prince quietly listened to Miroku’s exaggerations as the girl currently holding him swayed gently back and forth rocking him in her arms. Having finally heard enough, Kouga wiggled free and dropped to the ground. Gazing wide-eyed at the gullible females, he batted his ridiculously long eyelashes over his seemingly innocent blue eyes.

Once he had their rapt attention, the cunning canine lowered his gaze and timidly said, “I owe Miroku-sama my life.” He whimpered. “I was so scared.”

A feeling of anxiety grew deep within the pit of Miroku’s stomach. “What is that brat plotting?”

Keeping his head bowed Kouga continued; “My friends ran away then some scary man chased me when all I wanted was something to eat. I was so hungry.” Kouga paused. When the girls’ sniffling quieted, he covered his eyes with his paws and dramatically sobbed, “I didn’t know what else to do.” His voice wavered, “ I’m just a cub!”

Miroku rubbed his temple with his cursed hand as the women openly sobbed. Ignoring the womanizing monk, the young women surrounded Kouga as they hugged and caressed the distraught cub.

“Poor Baby!”

“Such a brave little boy.”

Kouga sniffed loudly as he pretended to wipe away tears. “It was easy to be brave with Miroku to protect me. After he rescued me, he told me jokes and taught me songs to cheer me up.”

Admiration shone in their eyes as they gazed at the nervous monk. Miroku couldn’t decide if he should be furious with the tiny cur or impressed.

“Would you like to hear one of the songs he taught me?”

“Oh, shit!”

Kouga took a deep breath then bellowed the raunchiest drinking song he could recall.


“Oh, my ding a ling, my ding a ling,
I want you to play with my ding a ling.
My ding a ling, my ding a ling,
I want you to play with my ding a ling.”


A stunned silence hung heavy in the air when Kouga finished singing his favorite ditty. Miroku cleared his throat, but before the monk could utter a feeble denial all hell broke loose. The lecherous monk soon found himself surrounded by angry, screaming women.
Their shrieks and screeches were so loud and jumbled that the doomed monk couldn’t understand what the young women were shouting.

As one girl grabbed Kouga and held the cub in a protective embrace another stomped over to Miroku and slapped him so hard she sprained her wrist. Had his injuries from earlier not been so severe he would have attempted to outrun them. But in his current condition Miroku quickly decided his best bet would be to fall down and play dead.

In a soothing voice the girl cradling Kouga said, “I’m going to take you to Kaede, Sweet Baby. She’ll make everything better.” Glancing one last time at Miroku getting pummeled by the village women, Kouga grinned evilly and snuggled against the village maiden’s ample chest.