A Love That Never Was

Author’s note: My God I am on a roll today. The writing bug has bitten me! Lots of love to my reviewers and hope that I am writing enough to keep you guys happy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the band Five for Fighting, which is mentioned, but any characters in these stories that are not from the show are my own creation and are not to be used without my permission.


Tokyo 2004

Sesshoumaru sat in the park across the street from the temple. He was contemplating how to end his life. Inuyoukai did not die easily and there were no longer any Inuyoukai left that were powerful enough to be able to defeat him in battle. He ran his hands through his hair. He had lived such a long time and all for nothing. She had never appeared. For over five hundred years he had kept himself alive convinced that he would eventually find her. But it had all been for nothing. He sighed and buried his face in his hands.

If anyone had stopped to look at him they would not have seen a powerful Inuyoukai. His magic prevented anyone from seeing his true form. He now resembled a tall human with long white hair dressed in a business suit. His claws and ears were hidden from sight. The only thing he could not change was the color of his eyes, but most humans just saw it as an interesting characteristic of the wealthy Sesshoumaru Takahashi. Wealthy….yes he was wealthy. He was one of wealthiest men in the world, which in the eyes of humans made him one of the most powerful. But still he had nothing.

He had used his memories of the first seventy years to consolidate his power. After the first twenty years he had become the Lord of the Northern and Western Lands. After that he started building up his fortune. Over that past centuries, he had built up wealth beyond belief. As the humans began to mor more economically advanced, he had learned the ways of the businessmen. Hislth lth had been the back up for a business that made more money per day than most people even dreamed of. But still he had nothing.

He had something once. He had Rin. He had remembered her and had made a point of finding her in the woods. Her life had not been affected by Kagome’s wish. She was still an orphan, still the same sweet little girl that he had remembered. It had been a second chance for him and lavished all the love on her that he been unable to give before. Admitting to himself that he loved Kagome had changed something within him. Sometimes it had felt as though he had loved Rin twice as much to make up for not having Kagome by his side. Instead of making her his ward he had made her his daughter and given her all of the joys and privileges that came with it.

Rin had grown up into a beautiful woman. He had found a good man for her to marry, with enough wealth to make her happy and a disposition that had promised happiness for the daughter of his heart. She had eventually had a child that he had spoiled to ridiculous ends. Back in those days, he had finally been able to understand what his father had seen in humans. He had believed them to be small and weak because of their short life spans, but watching Rin and her family grow older had changed his mind. He had slowly realized that their life spans were the very thing that made them so strong. They knew they did not have long to live and the fd evd every moment they had with as much as they could. And he had done his best to make sure that every moment they lived was filled with as much happiness as he could give them. He had done this with every member of her family until her family line finally died out. It had been the least he could do for his daughter’s descendants. The last of her line had been a man over a hundred years ago. He had chosen to become a priest of the Catholic religion and in doing so had become celibate, leaving no children behind to continue the bloodline. Sesshoumaru had felt something die inside of him the day the priest passed away. He taken care of Rin’s family with all the passion he had. And then they were gone.

And so he had waited. Waited for the day when he would be able to Kagome again. He knew that she would have no memory of him, but he had to find her. Even if she had not returned his feelings just to know that she was alive would have been enough. Perhaps he could have taken care of her family the way he had taken care of Rin’s, although the thought of her mating with someone else made him growl. And so he had watched the well every day, waiting to see some sign of her ancestors.

And eventually a temple had been erected next to the well where the god tree stood. He had watched over the temple very carefully, waiting for some sign. Finally after two hundred years, a family by the name of Higurashi had come to the temple and made it their own. He kept a close eye on the family making sure that nothing happened to endanger the family that would birth Kagome.

The centuries had passed by at varying speeds. Fast if he was enjoying what he was doing, slowly when he felt the weight of how long he had been waiting. Emperors had risen and fallen. Mankind had advanced to a technological degree that was far beyond their ability to handle. He had never wept in his life until the days the bombs had been dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Oh yes he had wept during that time. Mankind had discovered a way to destroy the world and despite the UN’s claim of not allowing it to happen, he still wondered if they would eventually destroy everything in their greed for power.

The hardest part had been watching the decline of youkai. Some of his people still existed, but they were few and far between. The descendants of Kagome’s adopted kit were still out there and he had made it clear to the remaining youkai of the world that they were under his protection. He knew that would have pleased her. He was the oldest living Inuyoukai and his powers had continued to grow over the decades. There was no one left worthy to challenge him, and none of the others were foolish enough to try. They had a council that ruled what was left of his people and at one time they had tried to convince him to lead it. But he had wanted none of it. All he wanted was to wait for Kagome.

As the centuries passed by he often found himself thinking of the song she had sung for him. It had pleased him when the song had come out on the radio earlier this year. He did not understand the name Five for Fighting, but he recognized the song immediately. It surprised him that the band was American. He had never thought her to be the type to seek out western music. But in the end it didn’t matter. It was link to her. Proof that she really had existed. He preferred her voice to the man’s but it was something. He had learned the words and often imagined her sitting next to him singing. But she had never arrived.

Fifteen years ago he had secretly watched the temple, eagerly waiting to see the Higurashi family bring home a baby girl. But instead they brought home a baby boy they had named Souta. And there had been no more children. Yet he had still waited praying to the Kami that there would be some sign. Shinghing to let him know she would come.

And here he was. Five hundred years to the day that she vanished from his grasp. She had never come. The seer had been wrong. By negating Naraku’s existence, she had negated her own. And he had nothing to live for.

So the world’s most powerful inuyoukai sat in a park, his centuries of life weighing on him as they never had before. He ran a hand distractedly through his hair. His body would reject any poison he tried to take. Tenseiga would not kill him, but heal him. Out of respect for Kagome’s sisterly love for Inuyasha he had r tar taken the Tetseiga. And Tokijin had never come to be his. There were no swords strong enough to kill him. And he could not think of a way to drown himself. Survival instinct would most likely bring him to the surface before the water could steal his breath. Would he be forced to spend the eternity like this, he wondered. Alone, not having the strength to continue, yet having no other choice? He hoped not.

He stood up and brushed his hair out of his face. He pulled a small hair tie out his pocket and tied his hair back from his face. He would go to the god tree, he decided. At least I can be near the last place I saw her on this day. He picked up his briefcase and started walking across the street to the temple. It was a typical day in Tokyo, meaning that the traffic was ridiculous. It took him a little while to get across the street, and even longer to make his way through the crowds of people to the temple.

He smirked at himself. There had once been a time that he would have knocked these humans out of his way for daring to have the nerve to block the Lord of the Western Lands. But he had changed. He had changed because of a girl that had never existed. He had always known that the Kami had a strange sense of humor, but he had never truly understood it until the day she had disappeared.

He reached the temple and walked up the stairs to the god tree.settsettled down under it branches and pulled out his paper work. He heard footsteps approach him. He looked up and saw the woman that should have been Kagome’s mother standing over him.

“How are you Takahashi-san? Is there anything I can get for you today?” The family had been become quite familiar with him over the past few years. He would often come to god tree to relax and he had many large donations to the shrine over the years.

“No thank you Highi-shi-san. I just needed some time away from the office.” She smiled at him and walked back over to the temple. He wondered once again if he had found the right Higurashi family. Kagome had once mentioned her brother’s name was Souta, but the woman didn’t look anything like the girl he remembered. He sighed and went back to his papers. Technically he didn’t have to any of this. As the head of one the world’s most powerful companies, he had dozens of people that could do paperwork fom. Tm. The only thing he was required to do was attend those ridiculous board meetings and keep his employees from making stupid decisions on his behalf. The only reason he even bothered with paperwork anymore was because it was something to keep his mind busy. Any escape from his empty life was a relief even if it was only temporary.

Several hours later, he put his paperwork back into his briefcase. He had finished up the bulk of it. All that was left was to get his secretary to type them up for him. He was not looking forward to dealing with her. She had made it painfully obvious that she found him attractive, despite his continual declining of her offers. He had often considered firing her, but professionally she was by far the best secretary he had ever had. Her office skills were wonderful and she typed so fast he was convinced that she had youkai blood somewhere in her background.

Typing. One of the few human skills he had never been able to master. The illusion he kept wrapped around himself preventing humans from seeing or feeling his claws, but they still got in the way when he tried to do things like use a computer. And computers. He found them to be the single most annoying thing about this time period. People had given up the art of conversation in order to make up symbols for smiling and shortcuts for words.

He had to admit that there were many things about this time period that were convenient. Cars and airplanes cut his travel time in half. With the onset of showers and baths, humans had begun to care much more about their hygiene. The smell of all the gases in the air still offended his delicate sense of smell, but at least the humans themselves smelled much better than they had a hundred years ago.

He gathered his things together and stood up. He turned to the god tree and placed his hand on the trunk. All these years I’ve waited. All for nothing. My life wasted. No, not wasted, he thought. Rin wasn’t a waste. Her family wasn’t a waste. But still, so many years. And I have nothing.

He turned around and headed towards the stairs. He heard a group of girls giggling in front of him, but was so lost in his thoughts that he barely paid them any mind. Something crashed into him and he was knocked backwards, his briefcase flying out of his hand and papers flying everywhere. His head hit the ground with a resounding thud and the world darkened for a moment. As he struggled to regain control of his senses, he became a ware of several female voices speaking. And then he smelled it.

Cherry blossom. Lotus. And something else. Her. Right in front of him. Finally.

His eyes snapped open, expecting to see her sweet face. Instead a stranger was standing above him.