Red Strings of Fate
Chapter 6
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*Thoughts*
[Character]
~* Chapter 6: Kisika's Decision *~
[Rin]
*Will you marry me?*
Toushi-san's words echoed through my mind, tormenting
me. The honest expression of his face, the plain affection in his eyes haunted
me. When he had caught me alone and popped the question, I had been thoroughly
shocked to find that I could not immediately say no. I had been working up to a
polite refusal when he cut me off, urging me to think it over before he would
accept an answer.
Now I lounged in the bath, fingering a stray strand of silken silver between
wrinkling pads.
I had yet to tell anyone of his proposal, fearing that once I did I would be
caught up in the whirl of excitement and swept along to the unavoidable act.
Whatever happened, I wanted it to be my choice, and my choice alone, so I could
live with the consequences.
But never before had I been so at odds with myself.
Part of me wanted nothing more than to run to Sesshoumaru-sama
and hide my face in his fur, like I use to be able to. Part of me argued in favor
of Toushi's offer, for I did have a genuine
friendship with the man, and few ladies were lucky to enough to have even that
in their marriage. The greatest part of me wished to run to Sesshoumaru-sama,
to let him take me into his embrace and-
My thoughts stopped there. If I truly ran to Sesshoumaru-sama,
he would hand me over to Toushi with his blessing.
Absently I twirled the strand around my finger, my thoughts chasing themselves
in a never ending pattern.
Then an aweful idea; a wonderful, aweful
idea sparked in my brain.
*He would turn away Rin without a second thought. But
the serving girl-*
It was then that Hisai interrupted my thoughts.
"Rin-chan
I ducked until the water covered my ears. Blowing bubbles out, I waited for her
to retrieve me.
Soon she appeared above me, her hands on her hips. "There is no use
hiding," she chided.
I turned soulful eyes on her, having learned to manipulate men at
She laughed at my playful imitation, but beneath it she sensed my sadness.
Picking me up and wrapping me in a towel, she hustled me back to my rooms,
dropping me in a chair.
"If you are going to play sick," she started. "Then you will
have to convince Lady Kisika."
Digging through her stuff, she came up with a packet of herbs. Holding it
between finger and thumb, she offered to me.
"If your desire to stay in tonight is strong enough to endure throwing up
a couple times, take this."
I eyed it for only a moment, then choked it down. If
it meant not facing Toushi-san or Sesshoumaru-sama,
I would willingly sacrifice alot.
Hisai's eyes were very grave as they met mine. Then
she turned to the water pitcher and poured me a glass. "Here," she
made me drink. "It won't really make you throw up, but I wanted to be sure
that your resolve was strong."
Unsure if she was simply talking about my desire to skip, I nodded and drained
the glass. Standing, I let her towel me off and help me change into
"Climb into bed and sleep for now," she told me. "I'll talk to
Lady Kisika and have her bring you some soup
later."
Slightly puzzled but willing to comply as long as it got me what I wanted, I
hopped into bed, startled to find myself tired. Within a few moments, I drifted
off, the sound of the door quietly shutting the last thing I heard.
A short time later, Kisa-sama gently shook me awake.
As I sat up, she set the dinner tray in front of me, her eyes solemn as they
met mine.
"Hisai said you have something you needed to
talk to me about."
I paused in eating, trying to remember exactly the
conversation I had had with Hisai before my nap.
Shrugging in confusion, I felt the sudden urge to share my turmoil with
"Toushi-san proposed," I started.
"But, I couldn't accept because-" I paused, uncertain. If I voiced my
feelings, if I put a name to them, I could never take it back.
Kisa-sama's face lost all of its
slightly distracted and puzzled look. Her eyes locked with mine, and I had the
feeling that what I was about to say would not come as a surprise to her.
"Because I love Sesshoumaru-sama," I
finished in a rush. My eyes, large and pleading, looked to her for guidance.
[Kisika]
I looked at the woman-child I had grown to love, my heart twisting in sympathy.
*Tis not an easy road you have chosen,* I told her
silently.
Rin confessed all, including the bath scene. Finally,
her rambling came to a stuttering halt as she took a deep breath.
"I would like to serve Sesshoumaru-sama as the
kitchen drudge again," she finished, her face bright red.
I eyed her critically, skeptical about this maiden being able to pull off such
a seduction.
"And do you know what he intends to do to you, should you go to him?"
I queried.
"Yes," she whispered with another blush, her voice breathless for
another reason besides her embarrassment.
I stood, staring down at her. "I want no part in it," I told her
truthfully, turning to leave. "I confess to no prior knowledge of this
either. You're on your own." I would have stalked out the door, but a
quiet sob stopped me in my tracks.
I turned, almost against my will, to find a crying Rin.
Unwanted compassion swamped me and I crossed the room to gather her in my arms.
*How easily I cave at the sight of tears* I berated myself.
"Please don't cry," I shushed her needlessly. This was only the
second time I had held her like this, watching her world fall apart.
"He hasn't left you any options, has he child?" I murmured, already
resigning myself to the fact that I would aid her.
She heard the weakness in my voice and pushed far enough away to look up into
my face.
A tear rolled down her cheek. "You'll help me?" She studied me with
sorrowful, disbelieving eyes.
"On two conditions," I clarified. "One: before the act is done,
without a doubt. Even if he doesn't figure it out for himself and you have to
tell him. Two: if Sesshoumaru rejects you, you must
marry Lord Toushi willingly and give up all
"Why can't I go as the servant?" she asked heatedly.
I turned cool eyes on her. As much as I loved her, my love and loyalty to
"Because he will think you meant to play him for a fool, and his wounded
pride will turn his love for you into hate."
I watched her eyes grow wide as this new possibility. Unwavering, I continued.
"If I help you tonight, it is on the sole understanding that you are
offering yourself to Sesshoumaru. No deceit, no
lies."
Finally Rin nodded, for she had no other choice if
she was to succeed.
[Sesshoumaru]
I stalked the halls, looking for either Kisika or my
ward. Rin had not shown tonight at dinner, leaving
Lord Toushi to cast woeful glances at
Something had happened between Lord Toushi and
I was not informed of this new development.
Watching the young man sigh his way through his meal put me in an even fouler
mood, and secretly I envied him his honesty with his feelings.
Finally I had grown tired of staring at the cooling offerings of food on my
plate. It was not necessary for me to eat, and we observed the custom merely
for the comfort of the lesser mortals. Dismissing all the guests, I had turned
to Kisika, intent on finding some answers. Instead, I
found that she had slipped away, leaving me to have to hunt her down later.
Which was what I was currently doing. But she wasn't
in the kitchen, or any of the gardens, none of the common rooms, or overseeing
any of the servants. At last I was left no choice but to approach
formal distance that now separated Rin and I.
As I reached the wing, I ran into Kisika. Relieved
and angry, I stopped her rather abruptly.
"You've been keeping something from me," I stated in a low growl.
Her eyes flashed up to mine, and I could see inner conflict in them. Her gaze
dropped like a stone.
"Yes," she replied simply.
My irritation peaked into impatient fury. "Are you going to tell me what
it is?"
"Rin-chan has chosen someone," she said,
her soft, reluctant tones in stark contrast to my own heated ones.
Something hit me hard and deep, barreling into my chest like a horse's kick to
the heart. It left me gasping, swimming frantically for a metaphorical surface
where breathing could resume. I placed a hand on the wall to steady myself,
furious that such news could upset me this much.
*It is all well and good that Rin found someone.
Isn't that what I wanted to happen? Isn't this what I have worked so hard for?*
She was a beautiful specimen of her race, both in face and character, and as
such it would be a shame if she lived her entire life without knowing the touch
of a man, of a male.
"Who?" I choked out.
Kisika's eyes watched my face, and I knew she had
read something of my inner feelings there. Instead of sympathy, I saw resolve
blossom in her gaze.
"She said she would tell me in the morning. She said there was something
she had to clear from her mind first."
A great weight, that I did not know I had been carrying, lifted from my
shoulders. By morning, Rin would have chosen, and I
would be free to leave. No more of playing lord and keeping peace, no more of
simpering ladies and reckless lords. I would, of course, leave
but then life would return to normal, on the road with Aun,
Jaken, and-
Without Rin.
No more smiles, no more silly screams, no more laughter or songs. No more
moments of watching her bathe, nor moments of welcome. There would be no
energetic bundle of joy to draw youkai from miles
around.
My fury lost its heat, and I clung to it desperately, fearing the steep slide
into the black hole of depression that threatened to engulf me.
I wished feverishly that all this remained hidden, but the expression on
thoughts, let me know she saw most of what I was feeling.
She waited until I had my emotions under control, her eyes almost cold as they
continued to stare without shame.
"I found the girl that you keep requesting. She awaits you in your
room." She eyed me, then placed a restraining
hand on my arm. "She is innocent, so please be kind."
Quickly, before I could react, she took advantage of my shock at hearing the
news to place a kiss on my cheek. When she backed away, her
eyes were luminous and with a start I realized she was about to cry.
She saw the question shining in my eyes, and shook her head.
"I love you, Sesshy," she whispered, her
vocalization of her sentiment and her use of my childhood nickname causing me
great concern.
With that she was gone, leaving me to puzzle after her retreating form.
Perhaps the girl that waited for me in my rooms could provide a clue to