Dabbles in Drabbles

The Woes of Sesshomaru's Pretty Girl Fa -PUNCH- As Told By Inuyasha. Who Is Now Unconcious For Suggesting That Title.





In the large, sprawling garden of a luxury mansion, two young pups played with toy soldiers, leading their troops in an epic battle of good and evil for total domination of The Sandbox. One - arguably the fairest - had eyes of shining gold and hair of shimmering silver, while his adversary had hair black as night and eyes the deep green of a forest in spring.



The silver-haired pup, seeing defeat was near, shot a small green whip from the tip of his index finger, knocking over the GI Joe figurine that acted as his rival's general.



The wolf pup gasped, jumping to his feet and pointing an accusing finger at his so-called friend. "You CHEATED!"



"Did not!" the pup argued. "My daddy says you have to use every opp - oppchunity if you wanna win!"



"Your daddy SUCKS!" the little wolf yelled, his brown tail lashing behind him. "And MY daddy says he's just a stupid hanyou, anyway!"



The little inuyoukai shot to his feet and threw one of his toys across the sandbox. "Don't call him a hanyou! It's not nice!"



"Stupid, stupid, STUPID HANYOU!"



"I hate you! HATE YOU FOREVER!"



The inuyoukai pup jumped across the sandbox. He landed on top of his playmate and the pair began rolling around, hollering insults and pouding each other with tiny fists until a voice cut across the gardens and had them both jumping guiltily apart.



"Enough!"



They both looked up to meet the stern amber eyes of a regally beautiful adult inuyoukai who watched them disapprovingly from the mansion's back doorway, clad in an elegant, flowing ensemble of red and white.



"If the two of you do not cease this foolish behaviour, there will be serious repercussions," came the warning, and both pups wilted pitifully and slunk back to the sandbox under that intense gaze.



Forgetting the fight as only children can, the wolf pup shifted closer to his friend and leaned in. "Wow," he breathed. "Your mum is scary like a monster, but she looks really pretty in a kimono!"



The inuyoukai pup stared at him for a moment. "...That's my dad."



The ookami blinked at him owlishly once, then twice. "...Oh."



Unfortunately for the young pups, the daiyoukai in question had hearing par excellence and caught the exchange quite easily. Visibly affronted by the misunderstanding, he crossed the space between them in but a few long strides, towering over the sandbox and the shrinking pups huddled around it.



"You dare insinuate that I am a female?" he demanded, watching with some satifaction as the ookami pup squeaked in terror and hid behind his son.



Luck was fortunately smiling on the young children, however, as the "stupid hanyou" was nearby enough to notice the unfolding drama. He bounded out of the house in a swish of denim, rushing over to place himelf between the inuyoukai and the pups.



"Sesshomaru!" he barked. "What the fu - what are you doing?"



Sesshomaru pointed a slender finger at the ookami, his penetrating glare never once leaving the frightened pup. "The child insulted me," he explained, voice dangerously low. "Punishment is necessary."



The wolf pup burst into tears, startling all three inuyoukai, who all looked equally unsure what to do about it.



The daiyoukai rounded on Inuyasha. "Why is it crying?" he demanded.



"Why?" the hanyou said incredulously. "Because you're scaring him, you stupid ba - stupid idiot! For Chrissake. Just back off and shut up for a minute." Steeling himself and fixing a smile on his face, he crouched down and ruffled the dark hair of the crying infant. "Hey, don't cry. It's ok. He didn't mean it, ok?" When the crying continued unabated, he sighed. "Look, why don't you and Shinu go and play in his room for awhile? I promise Sesshomaru won't come in there, ok?"



The wolf pup's crying died down to a sniffle and he offered Inuyasha a watery smile. "Ok... Maybe you're a stupid hanyou, but I like you."



"What?!" Inuyasha exploded, his smile dropping away to reveal a glare almost as intimidating as the daiyoukai's. "Is that what your bastard old man told you to call me? I'll kill him. I'll fucking -"



"Dad!" Shinu shouted, as his friend began wailing in fear again. He put his arms protectively around the sobbing wolf and met the glares of both his parents with one of his own.



Inuyasha had the grace to look chagrined. "Hey..." he began. "Look, I'm... I'm sorry. I'm not really gonna kill him. Your dad and me, we go way back and all, and I haven't killed him yet, so..."



"Your powers of persuasion are astounding," the daiyoukai said drily.



"You shut up!" the hanyou snapped, before turning back to the children. "It was just a joke, ok? You two go play inside now."



Shinu, with his arms still around the young wolf, led the way indoors, still glaring at the two adults until he'd passed them in a way that communicated exactly how much they'd failed him.



Inuyasha waited until the door closed. "Fuuuuuuuuuck," he then moaned. "This is fucking great. You realise Koga is going to be even more of a pain in the ass now that we've upet his kid, right? This is all your fault, asshole."



"My fault? The child insulted me. He required correction."



"He's a child! They say shit like that all the time! For fuck's sake, stop being so damn sensitive." He snorted. "Besides, everyone thinks you look like a woman."



The daiyoukai's eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"



Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. Everyone fucking stares at you when you walk down the street, and it's sure as hell not because you're as hot as you think you are, you arrogant bastard. When you wear all these damn floaty haoris and hakamas, you look like a fucking woman, plain and simple. I get you wanna stick to your roots, but this is the fucking twenty-first century and we're not even in Japan anymore. Get with the times, damn it, and slap on some denim."



Sesshomaru looked outraged. "I resuse to wear this foul, coarse material you've become so inexplicably fond of."



Inuyasha sighed. "Whatever. I'm not going to argue with you since you obviously like people thinking you're my bitch."



The daiyoukai didn't miss the sly look in the hanyou's eye. "You are treading on thin ice, Inuyasha."



"Maybe we should switch things up in the bedroom, too," Inuyasha continued in faux thoughtfulness, while trying (and failing) to keep a straight face. "That way, you can have the next pup, and people will stop having doubts about your gender -"



He cut off with a startled yelp as Sesshomaru leapt for him with murder on his face, narrowly avoiding being caught, and took off running, racing down the garden as though the hounds of hell were chasing him... which wasn't too far from the truth.