Funny Shorts

 

( No pairing. Just for laughs. rated PG - 13? )

 

 

 

  Kagome woke up slowly, she could feel the sunlight warming the back of her head and her pillow. She smiled peacefully, gratefully snuggling her favorite stuffed animal and enjoying her own bed for once in a blue moon. But after a few minutes she sighed and got up, dressed and washed. She needed to start her day, pack her stuff and leave for the feudal era again. Although, Kagome knew, her mom had probably done it for her already. Kagome was hoping for a nice day today, so she greeted her mother with a smile. "Good morning Mom!" Her mother was sitting at the table reading a newspaper, she glanced at her daughter and flashed a smile. "Oh! Hi dear!I was wondering when you would come down." 

 

  Kagome grabbed the cereal, milk and a spoon and sat down with her mother at the table. "I took the liberty of packing everything for you while I was waiting on your laundry." Kagome smiled thankfully. "Your super mom, I don't know how you do it all." Kagome started to munch on her cereal, while watching her mother read. "So... what's that about?"

 

  Her mother looked up and blinked at her, coming out of her reading trance. "It's about...well.. scientists have uncovered a new species of Fungi, seems they found this cavern in Mount Fuji." Kagome was half way through her cereal. "What's so great about that?" Her mother looked back down at the paper as if it should be explaining this to her. "They glow, natural bioluminescence." Kagome finished off her last few bites. "Well that's cool I guess, they make their own light." Kagome got up and washed her bowl, dried it and put it away. She went up to her room and grabbed the last few things she wanted and her big backpack and came back down stairs. "Okay mom I'm heading off now, bye I love you!" Her mom stood up to hug her good bye. "Okay bye sweety, I love you. Be careful okay?" Kagome smiled, her mother always had to say things like that. "I will mom." And with that Kagome walked out of her house and towards the well.

 

 - - - - - - - - - -

 

  "So Sango, why do you think the guys sent us away from camp? I just can't imagine why myself...  maybe they are making dinner for us." Sango was quiet thinking for a minute. "Yeah, they must be making dinner, or maybe trying to set up a party or something. But I cannot think of anything they would be celebrating, for us." Neither girl felt that their ideas were right, and that their men folk had to be up to something. The two women had been sent to find a hidden forest town that was supposedly nearby.

 

  Kagome and Sango walked in a comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying the beautiful spring day in the forests of Mount Fuji. Kagome laughed out loud, "You know, Me and my mom were talking about Mount Fuji just before I left home, and we just so happen to get a rumor about it too. What a funny coincidence." Sango looked at her strangely, "I don't really believe in coincidence. Life is just made of many tangled webs." Kagome then Sango shrugged and just they kept walking west.

 

  After an hour or two more of walking Kagome started to feel like maybe they weren't looking in the right direction. "How about we move up higher on the mountain? Maybe we will see the town from the top?" Sango smiled. "Yes that does sound like a smart way to go about finding a hidden town on a mountain side, I am ashamed I did not think of it sooner." They both adjusted they path slightly left so as they walked they would slowly climb up too.

 

  "So." Kagome decided to begin their girly talk. "I am so.... I.... I've been.... I have not been able to get stuff off my mind lately." Sango gave her a sidelong look, a stressed emotion crawled across her face. "Me too." Kagome looked at her friend, curiously, she probably didn't have the same problem. Kagome knew that Sango was very conservative, women in this era didn't talk about periods or sexually related subjects. Kagome decided maybe she should let her friend talk first, knowing what's on her own mind. "What's on your mind my dear sister Sango?"

 

  Sango then did something Kagome would never have expected from her. The slayer's lips spread into a thin lipped grin and her eyes glowed with a mysterious twinkle. "The same thing that is on your's my dear Kagome." She was being mischievous! If Kagome had been drinking something she would have spit it out, but she was walking so she just stopped dead in her tracks. "What?!" Kagome sputtered. Now Sango was laughing outright at her, bent over with her hands wrapped around her tummy, laughing as if she heard the funniest joke ever. But Kagome didn't get mad, but just stood there blinking at her friend. Realizing that she obviously didn't know her friend as well as Kagome thought she did. After a minute or two Sango got her breathing under control and was spitting out apologies. "I'm sorry.... I'm sorry Kagome... I just.. (giggle)... I just.... your face!" Sango broke in a fit of contagious giggles that infected Kagome and then they were both giggling together, alone in the middle of the woods. They both took big gulps of air trying to calm down their bubbly brains. 

 

  "Sorry Kagome, the face you made was just priceless. And to answer the questions that are surely forming in your mind. I'm a woman... I have needs and desires like the rest of us." Kagome was again just blinking at her friend.

 

  This was Sango, the woman who blushed and beat Miroku's head in for groping her, who couldn't form a romantic sentence on her own, who it took weeks to explain and convince to use tampons. And here she was talking (almost) frankly about an issue Kagome had never dared bring up with her, sex. Sango rolled her eyes at Kagome, guessing what her younger friend was thinking. "I've never brought the subject up because  you were so young when we met and it seemed to bother you when mentioned."  Kagome was still blinking at her friend, "But... I thought the same thing about you!" 

 

  Sango barked out a surprised laugh then turned to look at Kagome directly. "Can we talk plainly about this?" Kagome nodded, waiting impatiently for her friend to tell her details about her life Kagome had never thought possible. "I wasn't even a virgin when we met Kagome. I only act the way I do around Miroku because he makes me feel that way. Men just shouldn't be that... forward with someone who isn't their wife! It makes me uncomfortable." Now Kagome was laughing. "What! No Way! I thought you were a virgin too!" 

 

- - - - - - - - - - -

later

 

"Hey Sango!" Kagome could have sworn she had seen something on the tree line. "Yeah! Hold on!" Sango had been behind a few trees doing her business while Kagome was taking a break and keeping watch. After a few minutes Sango can jogging up to her. Her kimono was askew which meant she had put it on fast. "I think I saw something, smoke maybe. Over.... there!" She pointed to a spot in the tree line about 3 or 4 miles away.

 

But they would never reach their destination.

 

 

They were walking in the forest now, having descended from the mountainside a while ago. The sun was making its decent in the sky and Sango was about to ask Kagome about a making a camp when her friend spoke up. "Hey Sango I think I see something funny, come here!" Kagome suddenly burst into a gallop towards something Sango couldn't see in front of them. "Wait Kagome it could be-" But Sango was cut off by a scream, and she instantly started running to her friend. "AH! Sango! Sango!" The demon slayer ran as fast as she could while also trying to see what was happening to Kagome. She didn't see any ropes, nets, spikes... Then Kagome sunk into the ground by a foot or so followed by a terror filled scream by Kagome. Was it quick sand? Sango didn't see a pool. As she neared Kagome, Sango reached out to grab her. And just as her fingers slid around Kagome's wrist, Sango felt gravity yank Kagome down, and her with it.

 

"Uuuhhh." Kagome's moans were the first things Sango heard. She was also the first one to sit up, and when she did Sango realized she had fallen right on top of Kagome. "S-sorry Kagome. Are you okay?" Kagome sat up, she had some sort of strange dirt on her face where she had landed. "I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have a lump on my head, and my arm really hurts, but other wise I think I'm okay." 

 

"It looks like we fell into a cave, and I think we won't be getting out the same way we got in." They both looked up, at least 50 feet above them was smooth rock walls, and they could easily see the night sky at the top. Kagome stood up and Sango could barely make out her form in the twilight of the cave. "We should have died from a fall like that....but I think the... dirt here saved me." She wiped some of it off her face and Kagome made a disgusted expression. "It's gooey kinda..." Sango stood up, and Kagome tried to but didn't make it. "Sango could you please get my flashlight out of my bag? I'm stuck."  Sango moved around in the cave and found it after a few minutes, hauling it over to Kagome. She searched through it until she found her flashlight by the feel of it in the dark, long and hard. 

 

Kagome flicked on the light, after rapid blinking their eyes adjusted. She was laying in a three inch deep Kagome crater, and her arm had a small gash. After bandaging Kagome up they started to look around and realized they weren't alone in that dim cave, they were surrounded by dozens of life forms. In the shape of faintly glowing white fungi. Kagome swept the whole place with her flashlight, seeing their parameter. It was a medium sized cave maybe 100 feet across and it was almost perfectly round. Off to one side they spotted a crack in the wall that seemed to lead somewhere. But the girls didn't immediately try to leave they were more curious about their surroundings at the moment.

 

It had been so easy to see at the depth they were at because the moonlight had reflected off the pale mushrooms, and the similarly pale floor. They were arranged haphazardly around the cave, ranging in size from a pinky finger to over three foot tall and six inches thick. Sango started laughing suddenly, making Kagome jump right off the ground in surprise. Kagome put a hand on her chest to still her beating heart, while Sango's laughter died down. "Sorry Kagome." Kagome shot her a mean look before curiosity got the best of her. "What's so funny?"

 

"They look like penises! A garden of glowing penises!" Sango blurted out into a fit of giggles. Kagome had never heard Sango laugh this much in her life....

 

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( If you liked this chap and wish to read more of it then i will continue with a follow up chapter... but it will get dirty, very very dirty!) 

  

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