My Precious

Author: Saraste
Series: My Precious, part 6 - Hiding
Pairing: Kouga/Miroku, past Inuyasha/Miroku
Rating: series overall PG-13 fluff with some NC-17 naughty.
Genre: romance, post-mpreg, fluff, angst
Warnings: slash, post-mpreg
Disclaimer: I do not own the character depicted in this fic, they belong to Rumiko Takahashi and her publishers. I make no profit out of this piece of fanfiction.

* * * *


They hadn't talked properly since that first time in the woods when they'd met just after when Spring had begun to gently shake the land of it's long and cold wintertime slumber.

When Kouga had seen the shell of a man Miroku had become in Inuyasha's uncaring hands and cursed himself for letting the monk slip from his grasp in the first place. He should have acted before anything had happened, before the hanyou, should have night jumped the one-time-pervert he had given lascivious looks since the day they'd first met. Now he was paying the price. But it had all been so sudden, the aftermath of Naraku's defeat and Kagome's subsequent disappearance, he'd lost sight and knowledge concerning Miroku for two winters after that. They all had. And it had hit Kouga hard. He had asked around but the monk had not wanted to be found, hiding. Alone with his son.

Kouga now saw that fatherhood had mellowed the monk and knew that whatever there may have happened between him and the hanyou, his abandonment by the bastard, that Miroku had willingly borne those hardships for his son.

Maybe even gladly.

He had to have been to endure the long winter's months alone. Two times. Kouga could but envy the monk's inner strength to having have done so, to have been alone so long with only his son. For it was clear that the child had been born before the winter they had just passed now. But for a human eye, he might appear younger, youkai and especially mixed children being smaller first, adjusting to their heritage. And by the look of Miroku, the pregnancy could not have been easy either way. Nor the bygone year and the cold winter. He must have never regained his full strength after the birth. As for Shin's size, Kouga was not that familiar with how big a pup his age should be, but he could remember that in his pack, those born of males did start out smaller. What Miroku must have gone through for his son.

And yet Kouga did not know. For he had not talked to Miroku about it, not at length. Not past those few exchanged words weeks ago, that walk among the budding green of the forest. Ages ago, it seemed to him now. All Kouga had was his own conclusions, second hand knowledge from the taijiya and assumptions.

It annoyed the hell out of Kouga.

It had been two weeks. Miroku should be getting all settled in now already and the wolf knew that he had not been that discreet about his feelings towards him. The man had to be blind to not realize. And maybe that was the problem? That he was too forward still. He had promised himself to give Miroku time, time to piece together that deeply caring heart of his which the bastard hanyou had broken so flippantly, leaving the monk to fend for himself, just him and his son against a world which did not understand them, a world with at times would hate them. Alone so long with no-one, in self-imposed exile from the world, from all contact to others, human and youkai, friend and foe alike. Bottling it up for so long.

A heart was so easily broken and so slow to mend.

Kouga knew that Miroku would need to talk about it. Talk about all that time that he'd spent alone in the mountains, waiting for his son to be born, scared and lost, trust shattered by unkind words and harsh actions. Raising his son with little help and finally, after a harsher than harsh winter, leaving, abandoning his refuge. Kouga had asked Sango if the monk had talked to her about it at all and he hadn't, it seemed. It could not be good to bottle things up in such a way.

As things stood, the monk was clearly avoiding him.

Despite all that Sango said about waiting and giving the man his space Kouga couldn't take it anymore. What did women know of these things, really? He could keep himself inside his furs, he was not gonna jump the man but he was going crazy without even talking to him. To hear his voice and the way the man shook his head to get the bangs away from his eyes, those gorgeous sad violet eyes. They exchanged hello's and good-nights daily when they met briefly, all too briefly for Kouga, but no real talking. His responsibilities in the business of the beginning of spring had kept him on the move more than what he'd like. For it had kept him away from Miroku, making every time he saw the man all that more special and cherished.

It also made life a bit difficult at times.

He'd just walked to a tree the other day when he'd been ogling at Miroku walk by with a small group of his new friends. Kouga had internally cursed the young mothers for stealing his Miroku. For getting to spend time with him and talk to him. Hear him speak with that kind voice of his.

But Kouga did get the reasons behind the monk's new friendships. Miroku needed to share his experiences with someone and who better than fellow mother's. Kouga knew that the two males who were with pup in his pack now were infinitely curious about the human man who'd gotten pregnant. It was new and seemingly unprecedented. And Kouga thought it was also simply because Miroku was male, pregnant or not, men did seek male company, moving around in that group of hens which was the pregnant women of their pack, Naoki and Yori had undoubtedly felt a bit out of place.

Watching Miroku walk past with one of the said pregnant men, Shin on his arms, a tenacious smile on his lips, Kouga sighed. For the mirth on Miroku's lips did not reach the monk's eyes. They weren't the haunted eyes from that first day, not anymore, but more calm, and yet Kouga knew the man still did not trust fully. And he couldn't really blame him for it. But it looked that he was beginning to, seeming to be quite at ease with the two men walking and talking by his side.

The clearing in front of the den was buzzing with activity, Kouga had been staying in the shadow of a tree, watching. He kept score of his pack members, seeing them busy with the new season was good. The weather had been so nice of late too, today another warm and sunny day, insects and birds buzzing and chirruping, the pearly laughter of the cubs mixed in with the hum of the general conversation. Kouga watched. Had been all morning. Being rewarded with the monk appearing from the dens after a long morning undoubtedly made even longer by Shin's care, was a real perk.

And it just was so precious to see that blush blossom on those slightly sunken cheeks as the monk noticed him watching, turning his head away abruptly. The way Miroku's now longer hair, uncut for so long, swayed by the action made the yorouzoku chieftain gulp. Kouga suddenly felt very hot in the light early spring breeze. An image of running his claws through those long raven locks as his lips crashed unto Miroku's appeared in his mind, making him shift as his interest spiked by it. Going slow was going to kill him, at this rate. And the looks his pack gave him, bemused by his dilemma and obvious want for the monk did not help at all, the young male by Miroku's side gave him a look now, blushed and giggled. Kouga damned the idiot hanyou to the lowest hell for having hurt Miroku in such a way, for having him first and not realizing the treasure he had when it was his, casting the monk aside, damaging him deep. Kouga only hoped it had not been irredeemably.

He could not bear it if the monk would never be truly whole again.

And if his precious son, whom Kouga would gladly take on as his own, if Miroku would be his, would never get to learn his father as he was. Knowing only this half-broken, damaged man...

But Kouga knew that with Shin, Miroku was himself the most, his son being the only person the monk trusted beyond doubt. As the man turned his head, tilting it down to look at Shin, Kouga spied a true smile grazing his lips. And yet it was brief, Miroku not willing to let all his feelings be naked in front of others, clearly read on his face. To Kouga seeing that smile fade so quick was like the sun setting. A sudden chill which quenched all his lust, making his heart ache for his beloved. Kouga sighed and turned, letting the monk go wherever he was going with Naoki, and went on his own way.

He needed the physical distance. He could not let his lust for the man consume him. Still... They needed to talk.

Later.

Needing to vent his excess energy, Kouga went and grabbed Ginta and Hakkaku with him to go on a hunt. The cave needed more meat anyway and it would be a great way to blow off steam, get the bad naughty thoughts out of his system, if only for a while. The heat and blood of the chase, the kill, replacing his need for the monk to be his, claimed and possessed. Writhing under him, chanting his name as....

Crap.

It needed to be a very long hunt.

* * *

Miroku had seen Kouga, watching him and leering at him. Buddha, the man was almost as bad as he had been, earlier. No decorum in his ogling whatsoever. No finesse to cover that lustful gaze, quise it under the pretence of a chance look. And Miroku could not dare let himself grow weak for that lust. His heart still too raw and not wanting just a tryst. But his body, deceitful as it was, would gladly have him throw himself at the wolf's feet, beg for his touch, anything.

It was no good.

Miroku could not claim he did not love Kouga, he was worried about what the wolf thought of him. And with his son the offspring of what had always been the yorouzoku leaders rival, how could he ever ask Kouga to love him as his own?

Hugging Shin to his chest with a sigh, Miroku tried to shake off his morose thoughts and concentrate on the conversation going between him and the dark haired pregnant wolf walking beside him in the noon sun.

Miroku had decided that avoidance was good. Too bad his body did not think so, his neck still pricking, he could have sworn he felt the wolf's gaze upon his skin, a caress of thought if not hand.

But he could not.

His life was shaping up nicely among the yorouzoku. He was slowly able to breathe easily, life beginning to feel worth living again. Life worthwhile with someone besides his son in it. His heart slowly budding into new blooming after the harsh past seasons, following nature's example, opening fresh and green like the new buds he showed his son. And it made Miroku fill with trepidation. He mourned for what he knew, thought, that he could never have. Never. Yet he found himself wondering, hoping that things could, would be different this time. If he'd only take the agonizing leap into uncertainty...

There was no desire in him to face the rest of his life alone, simply existing to care for his son, heart closed for any romance, need and lust. He'd seen the looks, just after he'd arrived at the caves with Kouga, those first few days coming vividly into his minds eye summoned by the blush the wolf leader had caused to tinge his cheeks. There had been definite interest among the pack. Interest quenched by growl by one particular jealous youkai. He had seen that, whatever the other might have assumed. Had seen and heard that possessiveness. He would swear later that there had been fangs. Flashing briefly to assert dominance, possession over his person.

It felt flattering in a way, Miroku thought now, to get such a reaction from the wolf. But it also made his hackles raise a bit, he was no possession. He'd been treated as such by Inuaysha and it had not ended well at all. A possession was easily discarded, thrown aside when it did not please. But there was a fire in Kouga's eyes that had not been there with him. Attention, that kind of attention, towards him had waned after that, only the mother's and Sango allowed to approach him. Miroku was sure it was a youkai thing, he'd not been claimed, just chosen, and before that claim was sealed there was to be no interference. There still was the occasional wink or leer, both on a particularly interesting day. But most of those were bemused, the pack seemingly laughing at both their stupidity. It seemed the best thing he could do was let himself be properly claimed as pack, as Kouga's lover.

And yet it was the last thing Miroku thought he could do.

He wanted to, so wanted to. But he knew there would be difficulties. His former affiliation to the West would make it difficult. Shin was, if looked in a certain way, an heir to the lords of the West, the current lord being his son's uncle. Not that Sesshoumaru knew of him, Miroku thought. He hoped that the youkai did not for he might... The monk did not even want to think about it. Didn't want to think that his precious son might be taken away from him. He did not think that the lord would be so callous as to do that, and the brother's relationship had never been very good. It might even be that if Shin's uncle knew, he would and did not care for his existence, having decided already that the one who'd conceived the child was not worthy of his kill.

Miroku cradled the baby close to his chest, he'd never let go of him willingly.

“Miroku-sama?” The tentative words floated into his mind and he was snatched away from his steadily worsening thoughts.

His head snapped up and he looked at the man standing beside him. Naoki looked at him with a smile. It was a bit timid, reserved still in the monk's company but the underlying tone of it was downright naughty, Miroku should know, having been such a dedicated pervert so long. He sighed and shook his head.

“I'm sorry Naoki-san, I just got lost in my thoughts...” he said with a fake smile.

Naoki looked at him with unconvinced eyes. He could smell the downwards spiral the man's scent had taken. He had been almost at the deepest bit's of desperation just now. There was no fooling his youkai nose, sense of smell heightened by the pregnancy. The dark haired young youkai had begun to like his new friend very much, he loved to see the other with his son, a warm flicker in his own heart reminding him that come summer, he'd be holding a pup of his own in his arms too. The man was good company, kind and compassionate. And even while Naoki had really not heard much about his past he was ready to offer a comforting shoulder when the man would need it.

All of their pack knew of their leaders affection towards the human. Naoki could not help but giggle a bit at Miroku's determined refusal to accept their leader's claim. Hiding such strong emotions among youkai was never easy, least alone Kouga's, as he was always so over-the-top with his. It was the buzz among the pack, their leader had never been this way. He had always taken what he wanted but not with the monk now having come to live in their midst. They knew that the child, the unexpected fruit of a human and hanyou, was of the Western blood.

But they did not care, for Kouga had welcomed him in. And they had too, since it was clear that the pup's father had forsaken all claim to his son. The fact was screaming from Miroku's behaviour, his sadness and the melancholy which permeated all his moods even still.

“Thinking about Kouga?” Naoki asked with a sly smile.

Miroku blushed. “No...”

The man by his side sighed, looking at the direction where his leader had disappeared on his hunt just a few moments before. He looked at the monk, shaking his head. They were both acting so silly.