The Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Fortune

Landing just as effortlessly as he had taken off, Mo-Mo shook his great head in the international sign of “Get off my back now”. Totosai slid off the bull with the ease of everyday practice and held his hand out to the quivering, pale and very wind-blown miko.

“Miko? Kaede? Hello?”

Slowly blinking away her shock, Kaede looked around at her surroundings. She had no idea where they were but in some instances a river is a river: rocks, water and fish – repeat. The bend in this particular river that they had set down at was surrounded by a multitude of large schist and shale rock slabs and as the rushing water and ages of ice had cut through the rocky substrate, a variety of depressions had formed which filled with water, making many small pools. Some of the largest were as big as a family sized bath tub; other’s no larger than a rice pot. It was the perfect place to wash clothes and bodies… except for the awkwardness of her present company; one that was impatient to have her off of him and the other far too eager to have her on him!
The later of the two was waving a clawed hand in front of her face in wide-eyed concern, a broad proud smile on his devilish face.

Kaede wondered at that very moment how this Totosai would look in nothing but that big smile. If she let him sharpen the rest of her arrows, she’d get to see him strip again. No one was here to witness it, so she may as well.relax. If the demon was going to kill her or eat her, he would have done it by now. The miko wondered if her demon menace had a serpent’s forked tongue – the thrill that little thought send slithering down her spine had nothing to do with fear and it made the newly-formed butterflies in her stomach flap just a little bit harder.

Finally managing to get down off of Mo-Mo, the young miko slowly surveyed her domain. Head turning to scan the rocky pockmarks full of clear water, Kaede found the perfect one, just large enough for her to bend and wash her stained garment. Only she had no soap or a fire by which to heat any of the plentiful water around her. Soap she could conquer; a moment’s trek into the encroaching forest brought her a plentiful supply of an herbal saponificant, but the cold water was going to make this a long, painful chore.

Mashing up the trefoil leaves into a paste, the girl settled herself to the task at hand. Looking around for the demon metal smith and finding him poking around in the various larger pools, paying her no mind at all, Kaede took off her kosode leaving her only in her under kimono. Concentrating on her washing, not her obvious exposure in the thin, translucent silk garment, the miko endeavored to scrub like the wind.

Her heart nearly stopped when she saw a familiar pair of long, tan feet opposite her work. Looking up in surprise, the girl forgot all about the sight she now presented to her admirer; panting in exertion, chest heaving and wonderfully visible through the very white, very wet silk that made her upper half even more enticing. This girl was lovely! Totosai puffed out his chest in unconscious pride at his good taste… now, to get her into the water.

“Why are you washing your clothing in cold water?” he curiously asked, a bit befuddled at her actions.

“Where am I going to get a fire out here with no tinder, no spark, and no coals? You amaze me, demon, with your…” About to launch into a frustrated insult that Kaede didn’t really feel but wanted to vent anyway, the girl stopped short when the demon before her raised his voice in a stern command.

“Move away from the water!”

Before she could so much as question Totosai’s sanity for yelling at her, a jet of flame shot from the blacksmith’s pursed lips, basting the surface of the pool in orange flames. Scrambling backwards like a very surprised crab, Kaede was amazed at the power held within this self-effacing demon. No wonder he’d wanted to sharpen her arrows, he must be some sort of demon metal smith. That made this Totosai a powerful demon indeed and made this newly-minted, inexperienced miko Kaede a bit worried. When the demon expelled the last of his fiery breath and wiped the licks of flame from his lips and moustache, the girl before him seemed to be seeing him with a new eye.

“I did not know you could do that.” She quietly admitted to the smirking demon before her.

“I didn’t know I forgot to mention it. I’m a sword smith to some of the most powerful demons in the land of Japan. You should see my work…” Totosai happily nattered on, glad to be on a friendlier subject and wondering if he could get the wet girl to jump up and down a few times. That would be just perfect!

“Try the water now, it should be warm.” He smiled down at her without ego; Totosai appeared just happy to be helpful – yet his big green eyes never quite seemed to meet her eye. Suddenly feeling the cool wet silk plastered against her boobs, the miko bent forward to get on with the task at hand. She wondered if Totosai could flame her kosode dry without setting it on fire - probably not. But his company, she gritted her teeth together in grudging acceptance, was actually almost, sort of, fun. He was so endearingly goofy and sexy at the same time, Kaede had actually forgotten about her bow, which was presumably still in the far-off field they’d left. That was so bad! What if someone stole it? It was her most prized possession! Shit!

The girl appeared to be taking her sudden frustrations out on the laundry and was really splashing herself and him but good, Totosai mused. A sudden stinging itch that unfortunately was all-too familiar began on his lower left shin where a glob of resinous soapy foam had hit him in her exuberance. He wondered for a few seconds if he had the heart to tell her. How diplomatic did he have to be in order to still woo the girl out of her clothes and into his arms for some warm, wet fun? Shrugging to himself, Totosai just figured he ought to find out if maybe this was some new herbalist remedy, after all mikos were supposed to be experts in herbs and their uses, right?

Kneeling down on his long legs, the fire-breathing demon put his hand up to whisper conspiratorially to the girl washing with slightly less fury than a drowning cat. Seeing Totosai had a nervous, curious look on his face, Kaede paused and looked up at him with long-suffering patience. “What is it now?” she hissed.

“Miko Kaede, is there some reason you are washing your clothes with poison ivy?”, he whispered to her.
Noticing the white, green-flecked foam on her forearms, her hands, her elbows – even on her chest, the paling girl picked at her soaked under-kimono and looked within. She closed her eye with a miserable groan as her heart dropped into her stomach and started putting up wallpaper and picking out curtains.

“No Totosai – there is no reason at all. Can you heat up the water in one of those larger pools – please?” she asked in a resigned voice, beginning to pull her under-kimono out from underneath her red and green-paste splattered hakama.

Kaede just didn’t care any more. How could this day get any worse? If the demon before her wanted an eye-full – fine! She needed to wash the toxic plant oils off her skin right now before it got any worse. A small tingling itch was building in her hands and arms and the miko knew it would build into a crescendo of irritated and raw itching before the thing was all over with. If she treated the rash now before it appeared, she just might be able to head it off at the pass! Yes – and it would get Totosai out of her hair for some time too; it was a win-win situation!

The demon smith was riveted to the stone. The girl was starting to strip – finally! After she yelled his name twice and then brained him with a rock twice, Totosai got his eyes and his mind off her nubile form and allowed himself to be led by the wrist to one of the largest rocky pits full of water.
The girl’s under clothing hung open in the front and he could see the pale soft skin between her ample white breasts, right down to her rounded soft belly. The miko looked pale, soft and plush and that sounded like heaven to Totosai. When she commanded him, he nearly fell down before her, threw her to the ground and happily complied – poison ivy or not!

“Blow, demon!”

“Wha? Here… now?”

“Yes, blow some fire on this water and heat it up quickly! I have to get this plant’s oil off my skin before it settles within and causes the damned rash.”

“Oh. Ohhhhh… you had me confused.” he winked back and laughed conspiratorially at her impatient one-eyed stare.

A few blisteringly hot moments later the water was steaming and Totosai had a mission which he was quickly convinced to accept when the girl pulled the silk tie out of her hair, shook it out and turned from his achingly hard form to take off her under kimono. Dropping it in a wet pile – well away from where the warm water began, Kaede crossed her arms over her ample chest and gave Totosai some important instructions and more importantly, some heady incentive to keep him from immediately forgetting them.

“Get all that I have described to you and join me back here in the water. I’m going to need you, Totosai.”