Incense And Mirth, Taming The Wild Hanyou Heart

Inuyasha laid Kagome back on the make-shift bed that Shinseiki had prepared for her earlier. He kneeled down beside her and took a ragged breath. He couldn't believe what was happening. After all that they'd been through, to lose Kagome this way. It was unbearable. He leaned over her, letting his hair fan over them, encasing and hiding them from everyone, and kissed her. Her lips were cold and dry, and completely unresponsive. What he wouldn't give right now to hear her say it. That dreaded word...'Sit!'

As he sat back on his haunches, flashbacks came to him, making him angry at himself. Every time that he'd called her names, every time that he'd laughed at her, or humiliated her in front of the others. How many times had they argued, only for Kagome to take off back into her own era, in a huff, crying, because he'd made her so mad at him? How many times had he run off to see Kikyou, knowing just how much it hurt her to see them together? He'd dished out so much shit at her, hurting her deliberately, and yet, she still stayed by his side, no matter what he'd do. He didn't deserve her, he knew that, but, he'd realised a long time ago that he really couldn't live without her, either.

Inuyasha swatted at something tickling his cheek, only to realise that he was crying, and what he'd thought was a fly, were really tears trickling down from the corners of his eyes. He rubbed his sleeve furiosly over his face, hoping that he'd left no trace. Clearing his throat, making it sound like a growl, he called out to Miroku.

"Hey, Monk! Miroku! Can you do something for me?"

Miroku, who'd been lost between thinking and praying, wasn't really paying attention to what was going on around him. He jumped, startled, as he heard his name being called.

"Uhh, yeah, Inuyasha. What is it?"

Inuyasha stood and walked towards Miroku and Sango, who'd fallen asleep while leaning on said monk. She looked up sleepily at him, and asked:

"Has there been any change in her condition yet, Inuyasha?"

"No. Can you guys do something for me? Would you watch out for her? I mean...I need to stretch my legs. I won't be far...but...I wanna make sure that...nothing's around, ya know? I..."

Inuyasha made a choking sound, not finishing, then tried to cough out what he wanted to say, but Sango finished for him.

"It's okay, Inuyasha. I...understand. Go. Make sure that we're safe. If anything happens, I'll yell. Just...don't go too far out, alright?"

Inuyasha looked gratefully at the Taijiya. He knew that she understood, that he could count on her. He was even starting to consider her like the little sister that he'd never had. But he'd be DAMNED if he'd say it out loud.

"Thank you." he murmured, before turning and walking away, letting the forest that he knew so well swallow him in it's darkness.

"Sango...? What just happened between the two of you? I mean...was he...his eyes...they were...never mind."

"He needs some time to himself. He's hurting even more than we are."

"Miroku...I think Inuyasha's finally realising what his true feelings towards Kagome really are, and it's scaring him that...now that he knows, he may not be able to tell her...or show her for that matter. Let him be. He'll come back when he's ready. All we can do is be there for him, let him know that we won't abandon him if worst comes to worst. And...I know that he won't be too far off, close within yelling distance, just in case. When he comes back later, if he feels like it, maybe you could talk to him, show him you're there for whatever he may need. Even if it's only being able to listen, or just sitting in silence next to him. He'll appreciate it, I'm sure." Sango related, her eyes staring off into the distance, not really focusing on anything.

"Arguement with a woman is man's most chastening pursuit." Miroku countered, daring, for once to reach out and enfold her in his arms, holding her without any repercussions.

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Inuyasha didn't know how to cope with what was happening. He'd finally decided to tell Kagome everything that had been going on in his mind since that 'Incense Incident' and...now here he was, walking in his forest, wondering if Kagome was even going to survive through the night. After all his careful planning...he sighed. His Youkai wanted to howl, growl and tear up everything in his path. It wanted blood. Blood to avenge whatever was wrong with HIS Kagome and Inuyasha was having one HELL of a time controlling it, keeping it at bay. He looked up into the night sky, contemplating all of the beautiful, twinkling stars that Kagome loved looking at while laying beside him in grassy fields. He remembered the first time that they'd seen a falling star together. Kagome had told him that, if he closed his eyes and made a wish upon it, there was a very real chance that his wish would come true. He still remembered his wish, even if it was kinda stupid. Well, to him at least. But then, considering what he'd done because of that 'moo-vee' thingy, maybe not.

(FLASHBACK)

Kagome looked up, contemplating the night sky, sighing.

"Aren't they beautiful, Inuyasha? Just look at them, glittering like thousands of diamonds. In my time, you'd have to find a quiet spot way out in the country to be able to do what we're doing tonight. People in my era don't take time to relax and appreciate these little things anymore, like lying in fields, watching stars."

"What are 'diamonds', Kagome?"

"Your 'ADAMANT BARRAGE', Inuyasha." she replied, giggling.

'Huh? You mean that 'diamonds' and 'adamants' are one and the same thing? I didn't know."

"It doesn't really matter. Whether they're called one or the other, they're still beautiful."

He was about to tell her that they weren't as beautiful as she was at that very moment, when, gasping, Kagome grabbed for his hand.

"Look...Inuyasha! Shooting stars! Quick...make a wish! But don't tell me...or anyone else for that matter. Otherwise it won't come true."

Kagome took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Inuyasha did the same. At that very moment, the only thing he wished for was to be able to tell Kagome exactly what it was that he felt. If only he could hold her, let his feelings spill out.

"Kami, if anybody's listening, please show me the way, tell me what I need to do. Let me show Kagome just how much I...care." he whispered, wishing with all his heart.

(END FLASHBACK)

Inuyasha hung his head in shame, tears blurring his vision. It was his fault that Kagome was dying, his fault that he was gonna lose her. If he'd taken her with him from the beginning when he'd gone off to prepare the cave for their tryst; if he'd only told her from the very start, instead of walking and talking with Kaede, this wouldn't be happening to Kagome.

Kaede. What would she think of him when she'd find out. Would she hate him? Knowing Kaede...no. But she would be very upset with him and no one would blame her if she bannished him into his forest for a few weeks.

Aw...hell. What was he thinking? Kaede wouldn't want him to stray too far from her 'cause she'd know exactly what he was gonna do if he lost his Kagome. She'd probably confine him to her hut without Tessaiga near him just to make sure that he didn't go through with the suicide ritual.

Inuyasha heaved a deep sigh, staring at his feet. His demon half was begging to be let out so that it could get to Shinseiki. It kept telling him that it wasn't their fault. It KNEW that it was Shinseiki's fault if Kagome died. His and Naraku's, and it wanted to kill them both. It wanted revenge, and he was having one hell of a hard time keeping it down inside of him. He needed to think of something else.

Inuyasha sat down on a stump and looked up at the stars once again. He'd never been into religion. He wasn't even sure that God existed. What was it that Miroku had said earlier? Time to wait...and pray. Yeah...pray. But to whom? would it really work? And...just how do you start? He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Hey...uhh...God? Are you out there? Can you hear me? I really don't know what to say. Aww...Fuck! WOOOPS! SORRY! I didn't mean that! Well, what I wanted to say,or ask is...please don't let Kagome die. We still need her...I...still need her. She has somuch to offer. She's just such a good person with one heck of a kind heart. She'd do anything to help anyone, even if it meant self-sacrifice. She trusts everybody that she meets, never seeing their bad side. I know it's gotten her into trouble at times, but it's also left us with friends and acquaintances along our travels. God...I love her. Please don't take her away from me. Not now. Not when I was finally so close to showing her that...well, you know...that I was gonna ask her...to marry me. I wanted to spend the rest of my life just trying to make her happy, ya know? She deserves so much more than what I've given her ever since we've been together. I...kinda wanted to make up for it, ya know? I was such a bastard to her for so long. I'm pretty sure that her Mom's okay with this, too. I mean, I haven't really come out and asked her, but I see the way she watches us sometimes. She smiles at us everytime we're together and never makes me feel like I don't belong there. Jii-chan...well, that's another story. And Sota thinks I'm some kinda superhero or somethin'. Basically, her family accepts me...and I know I'm being real selfish, but I can't help it. Please God, if there's anything I can do or give, for you or anyone else, just gimme a sign. I'll gladly do it. Even if it means giving up my own life for hers. I don't care. Just please let my Kagome live."

At this point, Inuyasha had fallen onto his knees. His shoulders were shuddering from the sobs that he'd been withholding. Now he was boldly crying, letting everything out. All his fears, his insecureties finally surfacing, overcoming him. He never noticed all of the falling stars, showering down from the heavens, engulfing the tiny clearing where he sat, bathing him in an aura of starlight.

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Kagome opened her eyes, but all she could see was total blackness. Then she noticed it, a light shining off from the distance. As she headed for it, she realised that she was floating, as if she were swimming, but without water.

'Whats going on? Where am I? It's so peaceful. The last thing I remember was drinking that tea that Shinseiki prepared.' she thought to herself.

"KAGOME! YOU ARE KAGOME HIGURASHI, ARE YOU NOT?"

Startled at the strength of that voice coming from the light, she timidly replied;

"Yes...I am. Ummm, who are you? that is, if you don't mind my asking?"

"WHO I AM IS IRRELEVANT! WHY ARE YOU HERE? IT IS NOT YOUR TIME TO CROSS OVER, AS OF YET!" the feminine voice replied

"Cross over? I don't understand, cross over to where?" she asked. Then...it dawned on her.

"I'm dead, aren't I? What happened? How did I die? The last thing I remember is drinking a cup of tea."

"SHINSEIKI WAS HIRED BY NARAKU TO KILL YOU. THE TEA YOU INGESTED WAS IN ACTUAL FACT A POISONNOUS POTION THAT HE CONCOCTED. YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO DRINK IT. A MISTAKE WAS MADE AND IT IS ON THE VERGE OF BEING CORRECTED. YOUR FRIENDS HAVE GIVEN YOU AN ANTIDOTE TO FIGHT OFF THE POISON IN YOUR SYSTEM."

"Poison...Antidote? A mistake? What kind of mistake? You're speaking in riddles. Since you seem to know so much about me, show yourself. Let me see who you truly are."

The loud voice continued on, as if not hearing her, completely ignoring her request.

EVEN AS WE SPEAK, INUYASHA IS NOT VERY FAR AWAY FROM YOUR BODY, SPEAKING OUT IN YOUR FAVOR, IN PRAYER. SOON YOU SHALL REJOIN THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE YOU. THOSE THAT ARE WATCHING OVER YOUR BODY WHILE WE HAVE THIS CONVERSATION. YOU STILL HAVE MUCH TO ACCOMPLISH, KAGOME. SEE THAT YOU DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME. I HAVE BEEN WATCHING OVER YOU FOR A LONG TIME, NOW. EVER SINCE THE DAY I REJOINED THIS REALM, I HAVE DONE MY VERY BEST TO PROTECT YOU AND GUIDE YOU. I HAVE FAITH IN YOU. I KNOW THAT YOU AND THE OTHERS WILL ONE DAY OVERCOME AND AVENGE, NOT ONLY MY DEATH, BUT MANY OTHERS AS WELL. TAKE CARE OF INUYASHA. HE LOVES YOU, KAGOME. VERY MUCH, SO. MORE THAN HE MAY EVEN REALISE, HIMSELF. GOODBYE, LITTLE MIKO."

"Wait! Who are you? Please, don't I have the right to know just who my guardian angel really is?"

Just as she felt herself being pulled back towards the land of the living, the light faded somewhat around the voice that had been speaking so loudly.

"Kikyou...you!?"

Kikyou floated towards her, and spoke a bit more softly;

"Yes, Kagome. Inuyasha's prayer has been answered. You shall return to finish what was started many years ago. I shall protect you as best as I can. Go! Now! Before it becomes too late for you to re-enter your corporeal body. Do not forget what has been said. I WILL be watching out for your safety."

"I have so many questions..."

"That I cannot answer. Goodbye, my other half."

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Sango knelt beside the sleeping girl whom she now considered as a sister. She watched helplessly as Kagome breathed in short, raspy breaths. Tears filled her eyes as she realised that this little miko probably wouldn't make it through the night. She bowed her head and started to pray, whispering, hoping that everything that she'd hidden in her heart could be taken into consideration on Kagome's behalf. But before she could complete her request, Kagome stopped breathing.

After taking one last drawn out breath, after fighting it for several hours, Kagome Higurashi slipped into the peaceful arms of death.

"NOOO!! PLEASE, KAMI!! DON'T LET HER GO LIKE THIS!! NOOO!!!" Sango cried out towards the heavens.

It was so unfair! This couldn't be happening. It was like living through your worst nightmare. As Miroku came up from behind her, she collapsed into his outstretched arms, her body visibly shaking from her sobs. They held on tightly to each other, taking what little comfort that they could, in their embrace, as they both cried into the night.

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Inuyasha felt like he'd just had his heart ripped out. His Youkai was howling in anguish. Even before anyone could warn him, he knew. Kagome was no more. He stood on shaky legs and headed back to where he'd left her just a while ago. Not really knowing what he'd find, instinctively feeling like his world had just come to an end, Inuyasha started to cry, once again. This time, he didn't give a damn if anyone saw.

Approaching the small clearing, he looked around. Shippo quietly slept beside Kirara, blissfully unaware of what was happening. Miroku was holding Sango. They were taking some small comfort in each other's arms, both softly crying. that pompous bastard, Shinseiki, was no where to be seen.

When Sango noticed Inuyasha, she pulled herself away from Miroku and ran towards him, unexpectedly throwing herself into his arms.

"INUYASHA! I'm so sorry! We tried! We really tried! We were...we did..." she sobbed into his chest, not being able to continue.

Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her, letting himself have this moment of weakness. He looked up at Miroku, who simply nodded his approval and came up to his side. He draped his arm around Inuyasha's shoulders, giving him a quick hug, then prodded Sango away from him.

"Sango...Inuyasha needs some time alone with her. Come, walk with me. I promise that we won't go very far."

Sango looked up at him through her tears, and nodded.

Inuyasha silently kneeled beside Kagome. He couldn't believe that this was truly her time. She couldn't leave, not just yet. As tears blurred his vision, once again, he remembered his prayer.

"I guess that it just wasn't meant to be. I'm hoping that you didn't suffer, Koiibito. I had so much to tell you, so much to say. Please if you can hear me from wherever you are, I just want you to know...I love you. Kagome...I..love you. Wait for me. It won't be too long. I'll be coming soon, very soon. The minute that I get the chance, you'll be seeing me. I...can't live without you. I realise that now. Kagome...I love you!" Inuyasha choked out between broken sobs. He bent down to kiss her when...a miracle happened.

Kagome's body started glowing. It was very faint, like she'd been bathed in a halo of light. Then she shuddered violently, convulsing in spasms. After what seemed like an eternity, but in reality had taken just several seconds, Kagome gasped out her first breath after leaving for the afterlife. Slowly, she opened her eyes, trying to focus on what she saw in front of her.

"Inu...Yasha?" she whispered, her voice, what was left of it, breaking.

Inuyasha simply stared, not daring to believe that she'd been sent back. Then he grabbed her, and tightly held on to her, as if the Hounds of Hell were about to come for them, not really comprehending what had just transpired, and not giving a fuck, either. Crying openly into her hair, breathing in that delectable odor that was Kagome's trademark signature, Inuyasha loudly thanked God for hearing his prayer and sending his beloved Kagome back to him.

"Kagome...Koi, you're...alive. I can't...I don't know how...but, oh God...thank you. Thank you so much. I swear that I'll do everything in my power to be the man that she needs me to be. I'll take real good care of her, You'll see."

"Inuyasha...I...can't breathe. Loosen up...a bit...would you?" Kagome gasped out.

"Huh? I'm sorry, Kagome. So sorry. Here, let me help you sit up." he said as he sat cross-legged on the ground, pulling her into his lap, not daring to let her go in fear of losing her again. Once he was sure that she was comfortable, he started to speak:

"I thought for a minute that I'd lost you. You...died, Kagome. Can you remember anything? I mean...do you know what happened?"

Kagome cleared her throat and whispered:

"I remember drinking Shinseiki's tea, then becoming very sleepy. I don't remember much after that, except talking to someone shrouded in light. She said that it wasn't my time, yet. That what had happened was a mistake and that I still had things to do here and that I was being sent back. She said that your prayer would be answered. Did you...really pray for me, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha just looked at the little miko that he so dearly loved in his arms and nodded. He didn't trust himself to speak. His throat constricted at the thought that he'd been given another chance to prove himself to her. His Youkai was howling exuberantly. It knew that it would be only a matter of time before Inuyasha took Kagome as his mate as he'd originally planned, and it could hardly wait.

As Sango and Miroku returned from their walk, they couldn't believe what they were seeing. Kagome, sitting on Inuyasha's lap, talking to him as if nothing had happened. Miroku was the first to recover.

"Kagome? It's really you? You're alive? Praise be!" he said, as he dropped to his knees, dragging Sango with him.

"Kagome, little sister...you made it. But...how? I...saw you go before my very eyes. I...watched you...die." Sango whispered, crying.

"I was sent back. It seems that we still have our work cut out for us because of Naraku." Kagome managed to say, her voice breaking up.

"Could I have some water? My throat is so dry. I'm really thirsty." she asked. Sango hurriedly complied, giving her one of her plastic water bottles that had been left sitting near where her make-shift bed had been.

Kagome greedily drank as quickly as she could. Her throat felt like it hadn't had anything to drink in days. Finishing the last swallow, she handed the bottle back to Sango, saying:

"Thank you. That feels so much better."

"Kagome, I know that you've been through an ordeal that most people never come out of alive, but...could you explain what happened?" Miroku asked her, hoping that she would enlighten them on what it was like in the afterlife.

Kagome, yawning, thought about where to start on her explanation. Just as she was going to speak, Inuyasha, who had been quiet up until this moment, spoke up for her instead.

"It's been a long and tiring day for everyone. That's not mentionning all of the emotions that we had to deal with. Why don't we all just try and get some sleep. It seems that everything's gonna be okay, and I know that Kagome still isn't completely cured, so we should let her rest. We can talk about this first thing in the morning. Any objections?"

"You know something? Inuyasha's right. We can talk about this tomorrow. Come on, Miroku, let's get some sleep ourselves," Sango replied, pulling up a very reluctant Miroku.

'Aw, well. I can wait until morning.' he thought to himself as he followed Sango towards the fire.

Kagome snuggled deeper into Inuyasha's warm embrace, thankful that he understood that the only thing that she needed right now was to be held by him. There were still things that needed to be said, things that she needed to tell him, but it could wait until tomorrow. Right now all she wanted to do was to sleep cuddled up against him. This was where she belonged, the only place that she truly felt safe. With that last thought in mind, Kagome let herself drift off into dreamland, content with the knowledge that Inuyasha would be along side of her tomorrow morning.

A/N I've done it. Chapter 6 is dedicated to a very special person in my heart. Alterfano...this one is for you SWEETIE. Thank you. For everything.


And Chanda, thanks for thinking of me. I was really touched and very pleased.

When I started writing this chapter, the words just started flowing out of me faster than I could write them down. It was as if I could see the whole thing playing out in my mind's eye, like a movie scene, and as unbelievable as it may seem, this was the easiest chapter that I've written out of all of them, (either this book or the one I have on Eternal Destiny.com) and needless to say, THE one that touched my heartstrings the most. I hope eveyone enjoys it.

Luv ya & leave ya. JA NE