What the Hell Does She Think She's Doing?
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InuYasha › General
Rating:
Adult +
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
InuYasha › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
3,295
Reviews:
21
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.
Trip to Japan
A/N And here we are. Just a little fiddly thing because so many people asked so nicely how the trip went. Feel free to ask questions if you want, and I'll do another one to answer 'em, I guess! Hope you enjoy it.
The Author’s Trip to Japan. February, 2007
“I am embarrassed to be written into stories by such an otaku geek.” Inuyasha whined, flumping back onto the couch, his arm flung over his sleepy eyes.
“She’s not that bad,” Miroku said staunchly.
“Dude, the people at the Edo-Tokyo museum think she’s insane. She was taking pictures of crap like hinges and sandals, for the love of God.”
“She’s going for realism in her stories; it’ll be useful. It was a special exhibit, after all. It’s not likely she’d be able to see it if she went again.” Miroku responded, hunting around the cupboard for something to eat.
“Fuck, even the pictures wouldn’t have annoyed me so much if it weren’t for her freaking out at that one display case. Insane laughter over a stupid piece of paper really ensured her status as an insane asylum inmate.”
“She was properly awed by a historic document.” Sesshoumaru said calmly.
“It was a friggin illegible piece of parchment, in ancient japanese, with a red, ink seal. What’s so exciting about that?”
“The fact that it was a real document from the actual Hojo family during the 1500’s.” Sesshoumaru responded.
“The fact that you even know that means that it’s not only geeky, it’s all the way into nerdlinger territory. And isn’t that just what we need, more about that Hojo stalker boy.” Inuyasha grumbled. “Why couldn’t she have geeked out over a sword or something. Now THAT would be cool.”
“What about the one you could see the wave patterns in, like they always talk about in the descriptions of good Japanese swords?” Sango asked.
“Well, I guess that one was kinda cool…” Inuyasha’s mumble was barely audible.
“Anyway, I’m looking forward to reading some new yaoi sex scenes.” Kagome said slyly, looking at the men.
Inuyasha and Miroku flushed and glared at her. “Don’t even go there.”
“But they’re gonna be SO good.” Sango said, exchanging glances with Kagome and giggling. “Did you SEE how much yaoi manga that woman found? It was like the yaoi mother-load in that one store. She’s gonna have visual inspiration to last her months.”
“Shut up.” Inuyasha muttered.
“Oh live with it. You got your damn spanking scene, you can fucking deal with what comes next in the story, you whiner. “ Miroku said darkly, glaring at him.
“Hey! Just because it turns out the author likes my story ideas better than yours…”
“I think she just likes Miroku’s bare ass.” Sango muttered, staring at the denim covered body part in question. “Kinda like the rest of us.”
“Well, it is one of the finest asses out there.” Miroku admitted, and grunted as Inuyasha sat up and kicked him in said ass. “Hey, no touching the merchandise!”
“I touch it plenty enough as it is, bleh.” Inuyasha said, disgruntled.
“If you’re done?” Sesshoumaru interrupted, balancing carefully on his stool. “Wasn’t there something she wanted us to read?”
“Oh, yeah. Hmmm, I think I got it somewhere…hey, here it is.” Kagome held up a smudged, poorly written piece of notebook paper.
“Man, that’s from her? She has handwriting like a damn doctor. Are you even going to be able to read that thing?” Inuyasha asked, staring at it dubiously.
“I have the cliff notes. If I can’t figure it out, I‘ll just wing it anyway,” Kagome said, looking at the paper. “Ahem…
Dear readers, Japan totally rocked. I wish I had more time there to see things, but sadly, I’m home now. I stayed with a lovely family just outside of Tokyo and was able to practice my japanese, which is admittedly still limited. However, I used it so much that when I tried to speak Spanish when I got home, all I could think of was how to talk in Japanese! It was pretty funny. I had a blast with the museums, the food (BEST DAMN FOOD EVER!), the palace, and a special surprise: I happened to arrive just at the right time to witness a traditional wedding at a Buddhist shrine, and was able to see the whole thing. Totally awesome. I would completely recommend staying with a host family, at least based on my own experience. It was tons of fun. Oh, and flight time, along with being stuck in an airport for over a day due to a storm, resulted in a lot of writing on all the stories. I essentially finished one, so it’ll go up first, but then that just leaves more time to work on the others, so never fear, they’re all getting updated soon! As soon as I get them from my notebook to the computer, anyway!”
There was a moment of silence.
“That’s it?” Miroku asked tentatively. “Are you sure there isn’t more? That seems a bit sketchy.”
“No, that’s all she wrote.” Kagome said, looking for another paper, just in case.
“Great, she sums up the coolest trip of her life in a paragraph. And when she writes a story, she can’t shut up. What the hell is wrong with this picture.” Inuyasha grunted.
“Maybe it was too cool for words.” Sesshoumaru said.
“That’s just something people say when they’re too stupid to think of what to say.” Inuyasha said.
“Well, that makes sense. You say it all the time.” Kagome commented.
“Seriously, how stupid was that? What about how the air always smells like fish at night when everyone was cooking dinner? Why didn’t she mention that, huh?”
“Personally, I rather liked the fact that Kagome’s skirt is actually a pretty good reflection of reality.” Miroku said with a leer.
“Excused me?” Sesshoumaru looked up from the book he’d started to read. “In what way?”
“Figures you were oblivious, nerd-boy.” Inuyasha muttered. “He’s saying the skirts are short.”
“Not just short, beautifully, fantastically, obscenely short.” Miroku sighed dreamily until both Kagome and Sango smacked him in the head.
“They weren’t all like that, you friggin’ letch.”
“Enough of them were.” Miroku said with another leer.
Sango glared at him. “Great, next thing you know you’re gonna burst out singing ‘highschool girls’ like Shigure from Fruits baskets. I can’t believe you.”
“Hey, I’m just passively letting the light bounce off their bodies and hit my eyes. It’s not my fault.” Miroku said piously, and ducked when he would have been hit again.
“I thought the boys’ uniforms were adorable.” Kagome admitted after a minute.
Sango nodded. “They were pretty dang cute. Although man…almost $200, in American, to buy a uniform? Jeesh. Glad I didn’t have to wear one when I went to school!”
“The skirt would have looked pretty good.” Miroku murmured, and held his hands up immediately as Sango glared his way. “Just kidding!”
“I wish she hadn’t gone to see the kabuki, though. Boooring.” Inuyasha grabbed a handful of peanuts from a bowl near the couch and tossed them into his mouth.
“It’s a craft that has a tradition of hundreds of years.” Sesshoumaru said sternly.
“Hundreds of years of boredom, maybe.”
“…and the act she saw was a comedy, with slapstick even. I would have thought that would appeal to a three stooges fan like yourself.”
“Well, okay, the acrobatics were kinda cool. But like anyone could actually fight off that many people by himself unless he’s a youkai. Give me a break.”
“Um…Tokyo tower was really tall.” Kagome ventured.
“Pfffff, I’ve jumped higher ‘n’ that in my sleep.” Inuyasha yawned.
“The imperial palace…” Sango started to say.
“You couldn’t even really see it. Just the friggin’ moat and some trees…which were among the only ones we got a chance to see, by the way. What the hell did the ningen do with all their trees in Tokyo? It’s like they declared war on trees and grass or something.” Inuyasha grumbled.
“We saw trees there, dummy.” Kagome snapped, starting to get annoyed.
“What, a copse here and there? C’mon, even the parks for kids didn’t have any grass at all, just bare dirt! It was weird.”
“It was not weird!” Kagome stomped her foot.
“Weird.”
“You’re just a cultural…know-nothing!”
“oooh, now I’m hurt. Please, no more cutting words or I don’t know what I’ll do.” Inuyasha said, shaking dramatically.
“There must be something you liked.” Miroku said, looking at him.
“Eh, seen one city, you’ve seen ‘em all.”
“How about the food.” Inuyasha’s conscience spoke, finally putting down the yaoi manga he’d been reading. “You haven’t said anything about the food.”
Inuyasha was quiet a moment. “Okay, so maybe the food was good.” He muttered.
“Good?” Inuyasha’s conscience shook his head. “Good? I think you had an orgasm every day just from the food.”
“I did not have an orgasm. I just liked it. A lot.” Everyone looked at Inuyasha and he crumbled. “Okay, so it was the best damn food I’ve ever had in my whole freaking life and why the author doesn’t let me just stay in modern Tokyo and eat there all the time, I‘ll never know. But I plan to lobby for it soon. There, happy now?”
“Yes.” Sango and Kagome echoed each other, grinning.
Sesshoumaru mumbled as he looked back down at his book again. “She doesn’t’ mention her research.”
“Eh?”
He looked back up. “Her research. The room she stayed in had tatami mats and sliding doors and such, she researched how they looked and sounded and…”
“She looked like she was copping a feel with the tatami mats, dude. It was disturbing.” Inuyasha grumbled, happy to be back in irritable mode.
“Well, now she knows what they feel like.” Sesshoumaru returned calmly.
“Great, she can rave about tatami mats…which no one freakin’ has because they’re all damn peasants, anyway!”
“Maybe she’ll write about a lord one day.”
“Did they even HAVE tatami mats 500 years ago? She doesn’t know!” Inuyasha growled. “Because she’s an idiot! Why is she even looking at stuff that is totally unrelated to anything useful…like fighting. She COULD have gone to the sword museum, but noooooo, she doesn’t speak enough Japanese because she hasn’t been studying enough, and the stupid place has no English. Which is lame. Swords are COOL. The museum should have every language!”
“Maybe next time.”
“Well, she’d better fucking study her ass off, then! Man, her Japanese was about good enough to read to a freaking three year old and get ordered around by the same kid.”
“But the little one was so kawaii!” Kagome squealed.
“It was a snot nosed, literally snot-nosed, kid. And playing with her every day was booring, just like everything else.”
“You just can’t admit it was a fun trip, can you?” Miroku asked, shaking his head.
“Nope.”
“So, if she went back again in a few years, you wouldn’t come?”
“Well….maybe if she made sure to have someone cook for her again. But that’s the only reason!” Inuyasha said, and he closed his eyes to try and go back to sleep on the couch. “Now will you just shut up about it already? I’m still trying to get over my damn jet-lag.”
They all looked at him, annoyed, and grumbled as they left the apartment to go out for Japanese.
The Author’s Trip to Japan. February, 2007
“I am embarrassed to be written into stories by such an otaku geek.” Inuyasha whined, flumping back onto the couch, his arm flung over his sleepy eyes.
“She’s not that bad,” Miroku said staunchly.
“Dude, the people at the Edo-Tokyo museum think she’s insane. She was taking pictures of crap like hinges and sandals, for the love of God.”
“She’s going for realism in her stories; it’ll be useful. It was a special exhibit, after all. It’s not likely she’d be able to see it if she went again.” Miroku responded, hunting around the cupboard for something to eat.
“Fuck, even the pictures wouldn’t have annoyed me so much if it weren’t for her freaking out at that one display case. Insane laughter over a stupid piece of paper really ensured her status as an insane asylum inmate.”
“She was properly awed by a historic document.” Sesshoumaru said calmly.
“It was a friggin illegible piece of parchment, in ancient japanese, with a red, ink seal. What’s so exciting about that?”
“The fact that it was a real document from the actual Hojo family during the 1500’s.” Sesshoumaru responded.
“The fact that you even know that means that it’s not only geeky, it’s all the way into nerdlinger territory. And isn’t that just what we need, more about that Hojo stalker boy.” Inuyasha grumbled. “Why couldn’t she have geeked out over a sword or something. Now THAT would be cool.”
“What about the one you could see the wave patterns in, like they always talk about in the descriptions of good Japanese swords?” Sango asked.
“Well, I guess that one was kinda cool…” Inuyasha’s mumble was barely audible.
“Anyway, I’m looking forward to reading some new yaoi sex scenes.” Kagome said slyly, looking at the men.
Inuyasha and Miroku flushed and glared at her. “Don’t even go there.”
“But they’re gonna be SO good.” Sango said, exchanging glances with Kagome and giggling. “Did you SEE how much yaoi manga that woman found? It was like the yaoi mother-load in that one store. She’s gonna have visual inspiration to last her months.”
“Shut up.” Inuyasha muttered.
“Oh live with it. You got your damn spanking scene, you can fucking deal with what comes next in the story, you whiner. “ Miroku said darkly, glaring at him.
“Hey! Just because it turns out the author likes my story ideas better than yours…”
“I think she just likes Miroku’s bare ass.” Sango muttered, staring at the denim covered body part in question. “Kinda like the rest of us.”
“Well, it is one of the finest asses out there.” Miroku admitted, and grunted as Inuyasha sat up and kicked him in said ass. “Hey, no touching the merchandise!”
“I touch it plenty enough as it is, bleh.” Inuyasha said, disgruntled.
“If you’re done?” Sesshoumaru interrupted, balancing carefully on his stool. “Wasn’t there something she wanted us to read?”
“Oh, yeah. Hmmm, I think I got it somewhere…hey, here it is.” Kagome held up a smudged, poorly written piece of notebook paper.
“Man, that’s from her? She has handwriting like a damn doctor. Are you even going to be able to read that thing?” Inuyasha asked, staring at it dubiously.
“I have the cliff notes. If I can’t figure it out, I‘ll just wing it anyway,” Kagome said, looking at the paper. “Ahem…
Dear readers, Japan totally rocked. I wish I had more time there to see things, but sadly, I’m home now. I stayed with a lovely family just outside of Tokyo and was able to practice my japanese, which is admittedly still limited. However, I used it so much that when I tried to speak Spanish when I got home, all I could think of was how to talk in Japanese! It was pretty funny. I had a blast with the museums, the food (BEST DAMN FOOD EVER!), the palace, and a special surprise: I happened to arrive just at the right time to witness a traditional wedding at a Buddhist shrine, and was able to see the whole thing. Totally awesome. I would completely recommend staying with a host family, at least based on my own experience. It was tons of fun. Oh, and flight time, along with being stuck in an airport for over a day due to a storm, resulted in a lot of writing on all the stories. I essentially finished one, so it’ll go up first, but then that just leaves more time to work on the others, so never fear, they’re all getting updated soon! As soon as I get them from my notebook to the computer, anyway!”
There was a moment of silence.
“That’s it?” Miroku asked tentatively. “Are you sure there isn’t more? That seems a bit sketchy.”
“No, that’s all she wrote.” Kagome said, looking for another paper, just in case.
“Great, she sums up the coolest trip of her life in a paragraph. And when she writes a story, she can’t shut up. What the hell is wrong with this picture.” Inuyasha grunted.
“Maybe it was too cool for words.” Sesshoumaru said.
“That’s just something people say when they’re too stupid to think of what to say.” Inuyasha said.
“Well, that makes sense. You say it all the time.” Kagome commented.
“Seriously, how stupid was that? What about how the air always smells like fish at night when everyone was cooking dinner? Why didn’t she mention that, huh?”
“Personally, I rather liked the fact that Kagome’s skirt is actually a pretty good reflection of reality.” Miroku said with a leer.
“Excused me?” Sesshoumaru looked up from the book he’d started to read. “In what way?”
“Figures you were oblivious, nerd-boy.” Inuyasha muttered. “He’s saying the skirts are short.”
“Not just short, beautifully, fantastically, obscenely short.” Miroku sighed dreamily until both Kagome and Sango smacked him in the head.
“They weren’t all like that, you friggin’ letch.”
“Enough of them were.” Miroku said with another leer.
Sango glared at him. “Great, next thing you know you’re gonna burst out singing ‘highschool girls’ like Shigure from Fruits baskets. I can’t believe you.”
“Hey, I’m just passively letting the light bounce off their bodies and hit my eyes. It’s not my fault.” Miroku said piously, and ducked when he would have been hit again.
“I thought the boys’ uniforms were adorable.” Kagome admitted after a minute.
Sango nodded. “They were pretty dang cute. Although man…almost $200, in American, to buy a uniform? Jeesh. Glad I didn’t have to wear one when I went to school!”
“The skirt would have looked pretty good.” Miroku murmured, and held his hands up immediately as Sango glared his way. “Just kidding!”
“I wish she hadn’t gone to see the kabuki, though. Boooring.” Inuyasha grabbed a handful of peanuts from a bowl near the couch and tossed them into his mouth.
“It’s a craft that has a tradition of hundreds of years.” Sesshoumaru said sternly.
“Hundreds of years of boredom, maybe.”
“…and the act she saw was a comedy, with slapstick even. I would have thought that would appeal to a three stooges fan like yourself.”
“Well, okay, the acrobatics were kinda cool. But like anyone could actually fight off that many people by himself unless he’s a youkai. Give me a break.”
“Um…Tokyo tower was really tall.” Kagome ventured.
“Pfffff, I’ve jumped higher ‘n’ that in my sleep.” Inuyasha yawned.
“The imperial palace…” Sango started to say.
“You couldn’t even really see it. Just the friggin’ moat and some trees…which were among the only ones we got a chance to see, by the way. What the hell did the ningen do with all their trees in Tokyo? It’s like they declared war on trees and grass or something.” Inuyasha grumbled.
“We saw trees there, dummy.” Kagome snapped, starting to get annoyed.
“What, a copse here and there? C’mon, even the parks for kids didn’t have any grass at all, just bare dirt! It was weird.”
“It was not weird!” Kagome stomped her foot.
“Weird.”
“You’re just a cultural…know-nothing!”
“oooh, now I’m hurt. Please, no more cutting words or I don’t know what I’ll do.” Inuyasha said, shaking dramatically.
“There must be something you liked.” Miroku said, looking at him.
“Eh, seen one city, you’ve seen ‘em all.”
“How about the food.” Inuyasha’s conscience spoke, finally putting down the yaoi manga he’d been reading. “You haven’t said anything about the food.”
Inuyasha was quiet a moment. “Okay, so maybe the food was good.” He muttered.
“Good?” Inuyasha’s conscience shook his head. “Good? I think you had an orgasm every day just from the food.”
“I did not have an orgasm. I just liked it. A lot.” Everyone looked at Inuyasha and he crumbled. “Okay, so it was the best damn food I’ve ever had in my whole freaking life and why the author doesn’t let me just stay in modern Tokyo and eat there all the time, I‘ll never know. But I plan to lobby for it soon. There, happy now?”
“Yes.” Sango and Kagome echoed each other, grinning.
Sesshoumaru mumbled as he looked back down at his book again. “She doesn’t’ mention her research.”
“Eh?”
He looked back up. “Her research. The room she stayed in had tatami mats and sliding doors and such, she researched how they looked and sounded and…”
“She looked like she was copping a feel with the tatami mats, dude. It was disturbing.” Inuyasha grumbled, happy to be back in irritable mode.
“Well, now she knows what they feel like.” Sesshoumaru returned calmly.
“Great, she can rave about tatami mats…which no one freakin’ has because they’re all damn peasants, anyway!”
“Maybe she’ll write about a lord one day.”
“Did they even HAVE tatami mats 500 years ago? She doesn’t know!” Inuyasha growled. “Because she’s an idiot! Why is she even looking at stuff that is totally unrelated to anything useful…like fighting. She COULD have gone to the sword museum, but noooooo, she doesn’t speak enough Japanese because she hasn’t been studying enough, and the stupid place has no English. Which is lame. Swords are COOL. The museum should have every language!”
“Maybe next time.”
“Well, she’d better fucking study her ass off, then! Man, her Japanese was about good enough to read to a freaking three year old and get ordered around by the same kid.”
“But the little one was so kawaii!” Kagome squealed.
“It was a snot nosed, literally snot-nosed, kid. And playing with her every day was booring, just like everything else.”
“You just can’t admit it was a fun trip, can you?” Miroku asked, shaking his head.
“Nope.”
“So, if she went back again in a few years, you wouldn’t come?”
“Well….maybe if she made sure to have someone cook for her again. But that’s the only reason!” Inuyasha said, and he closed his eyes to try and go back to sleep on the couch. “Now will you just shut up about it already? I’m still trying to get over my damn jet-lag.”
They all looked at him, annoyed, and grumbled as they left the apartment to go out for Japanese.