The Strongest, My Only

Notes: Hey all! It’s been long, ne? It feels like an eternity has passed between my last update and now for this story. I’m in love. And you know it’s a funny thing, because now there are a few things with my other stories that I didn’t know how to write and now – well now it’s all just so simple and clear. I know how Kagome feels when she’s in love…and it’s such a wonderful insight.

THANKS TO - ‘Flightoffancy’ for your words. I was reading through my reviews and yours caught my attention the most. To tell you the truth I never thought this story was that good until I started reading reviews like yours and I’m glad that now I know. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the others!

To - ‘Fred’ my online dictionary. Now I know more then I did before! Thanks!

To - ‘Snowfall’, yeah you know, Inuyasha’s personality does change a lot, but then again in the manga and anime it does as well. He goes from being all ‘I’m a half demon and I’m this and that and I love Kikyo’ to having caring moments for others like Kagome or other characters in the series. Anyways, I see Inuyasha portrayed as an almost bipolar kind of character. That’s why he is the way he is in this story.

ATTENTION!!!!!! - ice_mistress_04@yahoo.com,
fred@yahoo.com,
phoenix_wolf502@yahoo.com,
dslkjfsdlkjlfdj@maoh.com,
and pegusus4@bellsouth.net

If above are anyone's emails, THEY DO NOT WORK!!!!!

I tried sending you an update email but the message would not go through. please write me somehow and lets figure out why!

Chapter 6: Conversations

Light is meaningful only in relation to darkness, and truth presupposes error. It is these mingled opposites which people our life, which make it pungent, intoxicating. We only exist in terms of this conflict, in the zone where black and white clash.
~Louis Aragon

A few hours after the disappearance of Sesshomaru the group sat together, a fire blazing in the center of the room. Miroku and Sango were side by side with Shippo and Kilala cuddled next to them; Kagome snuggled up in a blanket, with Inuyasha refusing to look at her. They all were silent, even Shippo, who had been out collecting herbs and now idly played with the full basket of assorted greens.

It was quiet, no one spoke, afraid to be the one who’d break the silence. Every now and then a small piece of the burning wood would collapse in on itself in the fire causing embers to flare up.

The fox cub shifted uncomfortably his fuzzy orange tail wagging slightly in a sort of tense boredom.

Why wasn’t anyone saying anything?

“This…um…I…well…uh-” Kagome stopped and glanced around the quiet circle, losing her nerve as Inuyasha looked up to glare at her.

She looked back down at her hands in embarrassment wishing she had not spoken.

“So where did Sesshomaru go?” He asked, his nostrils flaring angrily.

She blushed in response, beginning to play with her hands, looking everywhere and notwhere at the same time.

“I-well…I uh…”

‘What can I say?’ She thought, unsure if anything could make the situation any less freaky than it already was. Maybe if she lied? To ease their worries or something-but no...sheof all people knew lies never worked. It was the nature of the beast.

She bit her lip, tweaking her thumb between her forefinger and pinky as she thought.

“You don’t know where he is, do you?” Sango asked suddenly.

She winced in answer causing Sango and Miroku to glance sharply at one another.

“How is this bad?” Inuyasha cut in sourly, punching the wooden floor for attention.

“How…?” Shippo exclaimed horrified, glancing at Kagome and then back at him.

“Inuyasha, he could be just down the road for all we know!” The little fox blurted out frantically, his eyes darting to the corners of the room as if expecting to see a set of cold amber eyes lurking there.

Kagome winced again at their words, drawing back slightly despite herself. It was bad enough that everyone was panicking about her - chastising her for suddenly getting better but bringing a bunch of weird powers with her. No one had even said anything congratulatory about Naraku to her! SHE had been the one to kill him after all! HER! As in HERSELF! And no one had said anything…they’d all just sat around totally aghast that she had any power at all.

‘That’s not entirely true…’ She thought silently nibbling at her bottom lip even harder.

Or was it?

She looked up at her companions who were now all bickering amongst one another. Now it was all about what she had or maybe had-not done. Unconsciously, she felt her fists clench in frustration. She hadn’t done anything wrong! Had she? Had she done anything so horribly bad?

‘Yes…’ The realization numbed her. She had. She had sided with the enemy. But then again maybe that was not so fair an accusation! Her dreams were dreams...it wasn't like she and Sesshomaru had actually...done it or anything in REAL life.

“Inuyasha, he could be ‘dead’!” Sango said quietly.

The response from said brother was a loud snort.

“If he is, so what? He’s out of our ways and now he’ll leave US all alone!”

Kagome stared at them all, her eyes glassing over. And suddenly, unbidden, the image of Sesshomaru’s face wafted into her mind.

“Kagome!”

“I don’t know how I…I mean I would know if he was…” She said startled, her eyes flying open.

“Pray Kagome, how would you know?” Miroku asked curiously, leaning forward on his staff.

She looked away, her eyes darting around the small room.

She would know if he was dead, right? Or not – after all she didn’t have any kind of connection with him except through her dreams which Sango, Miroku, and Shippo still didn’t know about. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell them –especially now. This whole thing was like some kind of screwed up nightmare! First the dreams then Sesshomaru suddenly appearing...and the whole thing with her powers…it was honestly beginning to scare her! The worst thing of all was that she didn’t know how or why she had them! How could she just all of a sudden be able to do such things as make people disappear or bodily contain others?! They weren’t natural, that was for sure. How could they be? She didn’t willingly pin Inuyasha in the air!

– or did she?

She paused, temporarily forgetting about the others.

He had made her so mad…taunting her like that! He had deserved it, hadn’t he? Try as she might, she couldn’t help but hesitantly acknowledge that the thought of making Inuyasha pay for everything he had said and done to her…well, it had run through her mind. But still… that was ALL that had happened to him.

But what if she had done something worse?

‘What if I had done something worse?’ She thought, her brows scrunching together.

It was a chilling thought, but she hadn’t…and that was all that really counted, right? She had been in the feudal era long enough to not even dare try and think this whole thing with everyone arguing and Sesshomaru disappearing was a dream…but still! Why Sesshomaru? And why had he been acting the way he had?

*Will you join me?*

She shut her eyes again, her hands resting palms down on her temples, her fingers digging into her scalp.

What had he meant? Something to do with the dreams? And what about that one dream, right after her powers had started acting so strange? He’d told her he had consciously known that it was her he was-

‘But does that mean I can consciously-?’

A jolt of something warm fluttered within her stomach making her gulp gently.

“Kagome!” Sango words snapped her from her thoughts.

“I…I don’t think he’s…” She stopped, swallowing again.

‘Then that means I DO have power...’

“I don’t think he’s dead.” She whispered, the words coming through dry lips.

“Do you think he’s close by then?” Miroku asked, fingering a gold ring on his staff.

She hesitantly shook her head in no.

“I…I don’t exactly know why…but I know he’s not a threat right now…”

“Right NOW? What the hell is THAT supposed to mean?” Inuyasha shouted as he jumped angrily to his feet.

“INUYASHA!” Sango exclaimed, putting an arm around the miko protectively.

“I’m fine Sango...” Kagome said softly, shifting away from her friend’s arms. Sango gave her a look of hurt surprise.

“I’m sorry…but right now I can’t take all these accusations-”

“ACCUSATIONS?!” Inuyasha yelped, stamping his foot childishly against the floor.

“You’re fricking sidin' with the enemy!”

“I’m not "sidin'" with anybody!” Kagome said back, her lower lip quivering.

He narrowed his eyes at her.

“HA! You’ve been sided with him from the beginning, haven’t you? What happened? He promise to give a weakling like you some power if you-” He cut himself off sharply, clenching his fists.

“We both know I wouldn’t ever do that!” She said defensively, fighting back the tears at his sarcasticly bitter words.

“You’ve done enough to make me think so girl.”

She drew back as if he had struck her.

Girl. Not Kagome, not woman, not even fool…just…girl. Like when they’d first met and he’d hated her guts for being Kikyo’s double.

‘Girl? Is that what I am now?’ She thought gazing into his anger filled face.

“It doesn’t take much to sway you!” She said back, her fists clenching.

"Look at your precious Kikyo! One sniff of her and your off like a dog with a bone!"

‘Or was being just a girl always all that I was?’

“Enough from both of you!” Kaede said with a glare.

“Kagome no more helped you’re brother than I or Sango or Miroku did! And I suggest you abstain from this childish finger pointing.” The old woman finished crisply. Inuyasha returned her wrathful gaze but became quiet as she had ordered.

Kagome looked away from them all and made to stand.

‘But what if it is? What if this whole dreaming thing…if I did do something? But that can’t be…because…because I would never betray any of them like that.’

“No…maybe it is my fault…and if it is, I’m sorry…” She looked at Inuyasha and then away.

“…but I am telling you all the truth…and the truth is that I don’t know what’s going on any more than any of you do.”

Sango rose and hugged her before she could complain.

“I’m sorry Kagome…” She whispered sadly.

Kagome felt her body grow numb against the pressure of her friend’s arms and body. It was strange…as if she had detached herself from her physical form. And then she saw Shippo nod.

“Yeah, me too!”

“And me as well.” Miroku said seriously as he got to his own feet and gently hugged both women. She sighed deeply as her friends embraced her, her eyes widening suddenly when she felt a hand on her thigh.

“EYAH!!!” She squealed, stumbling backwards onto her butt.

“MIROKU!”

There was a loud BANG as Miroku was punched into a wall by Sango’s boomerang and then it went quiet within the tiny enclosure once more. Quiet that was, except for the harsh breathing of Sango, still gripping her weapon with all the ferocity of a killer bee in it’s pursuit of stinging its opponent to death.

“You all need help.” Inuyasha muttered to himself darkly as he turned and left the hut.

The miko's eyes followed him through the door and into the darkness and immediately felt something stab painfully into her heart.

Like, in some way he had just turned his back on her for real-not just to leave the hut.

*This fool here is brash in his love for the girl.*

‘He does not even need to attack in order to defeat me.’ She thought her mind filled with melancholy.

Was that true? Did he still…no. No she had decided that it had ended. All of the b.s. would be forgotten and they would both move on.

Right?

“Um…Kagome…”

“Yeah?” She asked offhandedly, turning to look back at Sango.

“How did you set Inuyasha free?”

The question caught her gloomy mind off-guard and Kagome felt herself pause.

‘How…?’

“Well…I don’t exactly know. I just kept thinking about how close Sesshomaru was getting and how I wished Inuyasha wasn’t all tied up so he could make him stop…” Her words trailed off.

There was a lengthy pause in which the two stared at each other.

“That explains it then.”

“What?”

“Whenever you feel endangered, your...powers flare up, right?” The demon slayer pressed questioningly.

Kagome nodded, leaning against the wall to stare into the fire.

“Yes but they’re so strong! They feel like if I’m not really careful they might run unchecked…”

‘Like they might overtake me…’

“It sounds like they act subconsciously on your emotions.” Miroku said groggily as he slowly got into a sitting position, a growing lump on his forehead. Sango sniffed at him angrily but did mull over his words.

“Yeah…but it still brings us back to ‘how’ this happened! And-”

“And where Sesshomaru is.” Kagome finished, worrying her bottom lip.

‘Oh Sesshomaru...where did I put you?’

*****

‘You know you want to break. Do it. Come on, demon boy! Snap already.’

“If you have any IDEA what I will do to you in the next instant...” Sesshomaru growled softly, his entire being vibrating with his immense fury.

Shikiba giggled and prodded his mind again.

‘Ah, how ironic it is that a little mortal girl has trapped ‘you’, of all others, my lord!’ The sorceress laughed gleefully, making his eyes squint together in his anger.

He was, strangely enough, at his castle. And while that might have been strange, the infuriating thing, was that he couldn’t leave it. Couldn’t leave as in there was some kind of force field impeding him from leaving the boundaries of his castle.

It had only been like this a couple of hours but already he knew that suspicions were mounting, and night was falling on his lands. He would have to sleep soon.

He spun on his heel at the thought and braced his sword against the castle wall. He grit his teeth. Even Tokijin was useless against it.

‘How in the world is that little bitch doing this!’ He snarled at Shikiba angrily. She shrugged. He knew because of her pause and felt his back teeth grind together.

‘For one who thinks he can plan everything out perfectly, you certainly don’t do a very good job at it. Especially when it comes to thinking about your predicament. Oh wait, that’s right…you’ve never been in one!’

‘You will be silent.’ He commanded angrily, his deadpan voice deathly calm.

She scoffed at him.

‘I won’t. Don’t act like you’re four hundred years old again Sesshomaru.”

His teeth ground harder.

‘I would think it obvious why you’re being constrained.’ She said matter-o-factly into his mind.

“Do. Tell.” He said out loud, his wrist once more flicking Tokijin against what looked like thin air only to instead bounce off, knocking him back a step.

‘Oh it’s simple really. She doesn’t want to see you right now.’ The Sorceress said pleasantly, making him growl, his eyes flashing a bloody red.

‘Is that so? Well when I get out of this I will personally EXECUTE HER!’ He said, launching himself at the space before him, lunging Tokijin forward only to see the air before him ripple calmly – and then blast him backwards into the castle gardens.

From a few hundred yards away, a few of his servants stopped to stare at him and the display he was making.

‘Not from where I’m standing.’ Shikiba said neutrally making him close his eyes, his one fist clenching so tightly around Tokijin’s grip that a small crunching was heard from the pressure of it breaking the steel hilt.

‘I will enjoy the feel of her small white neck beneath my booted foot.’ He growled inwardly, his body finally accepting the thought of waiting to try again until the morning.

‘Oh posh. Don’t be so inconsiderate Sesshomaru.’

‘Inconsiderate?’ He growled, his anger rising once again. She sighed, irritated.

‘Go to sleep and figure it out.’

‘Never. I refuse to touch that filthy bitch.’ He howled at her.

She scoffed again at him.

‘That ‘filthy bitch’ as you call her, has you chained up like a dog – no pun intended – to the side of your very own house.’

‘She will die. She will die a harsh, incredibly horrible death, do you hear me Shikiba? There is no uncertainty in my mind at this moment of it.’

‘You will sleep eventually. If nothing else, go to sleep and see if you can-’

‘As much as I would like to wrench her little spine into two or more pieces, it is only a dream of her, not the real thing.’ He thought, his body transporting itself to his study and materializing into his chair.

‘But it would relieve some of your stress…’

‘I am not stressed Shikiba.’

‘You certainly aren’t overjoyed.’

‘Insolent witch, go mix some more of your ludicrous potions.’ He huffed.

‘You wait. That leash you’re on will soon become more like a choke collar.’ Shikiba said sourly, her mind snapping closed to him before he could question her.

For a moment he was quiet.

“Her little matchmaking plot is over. I refuse to consider this idiocy any longer.” He said snidely as he opened a drawer and snatched a document from it, placing it on his desk.

Using the candlelight, he began to work.

*****

*Soft white fingers brushed across his stomach, dipping down only to turn to the side and smoothly trace across the outside of his thigh. His head tilted back from the electrical pulse the action caused, his being catching the sound of a soft feminine sigh from above him. Offandedly, he remembered in the back of his mind that he wanted to kill her...but the sound of her breath filled him with an even larger desire.

“No…” The sound seemed almost nonexistent to his sharp ears but it was no use. He felt the same soft skin gliding across his and then her face loomed above his, her long black hair falling across her shoulder to tickle the curve of his neck.

“Yes.” She whispered back, her face dipping down to brush her velvet lips against his. He inhaled sharply as she did so, feeling all resolve leave him, his hands sliding up her legs and pressing into the skin on her lower back. She keened softly against his mouth and his hands as if directed by some unseen puppeteer roughly traced up her back to tangle in her hair and shoulder.

“You did something to me.” He growled suddenly, somehow finding the strength to pull away enough to at least look at her. Her eyes shone down into his, her features hardening slightly.

“You deserved it.” And her hips tilted down onto him, making him draw air in sharply. She did the same, her body leaning up to straddle him.

“Get out of my head!” He whispered, his face tilting back as she moved forward against him. He felt her heat, the smell of her readiness clouding his already fogged brain, and he found himself griting his teeth once more, his clawed hands running down her back once more.

“I can’t…”

She sounded almost apologetic when she said it, and for an instant he actually almost believed her, but all of this madness in his mind was too much to truly accept.

“Why won’t you leave me be?” He snarled, grasping her arm and throwing her to the side so that she landed on her back, sprawled across the ground as if she was a part of it. The picture was so amazing to him. The smooth white skin, tender breasts and taunt muscles. She seemed so beautiful. But she was human. And humans were not beautiful.

And yet…

“Why won’t you?” And her hand rested palm down on top of his own hand, squeezing lightly.

“I…”

He didn’t know what to say. It was all an illusion…all a dream. A spell, an abomination created by an enemy or some higher source he wasn’t aware of to try and throw him off balance…but then why was his hand turning to squeeze hers back?

“I can’t.” He said; and she smiled, her other arm coming out to reach around the back of his head and draw him once again to her lips.

And he submitted to it, his eyes closing at the sweet contact.

‘I can’t…’*

*****

“I don’t frickin’ care! Wake her up! Slap her if you have to!” Inuyasha screeched, his entire body shaking in anger.

She was on the floor where they had put her, in her sleeping bag. It had been two whole days since the episode with Sesshomaru and yet it was still fresh in their minds, but then something else was as well.

Such as Kagome being able to control still objects. And not to mention she hadn’t woken up since their group discussion. Her body had been acting normally until about an hour ago when suddenly she began to glow with the same powerful energies she had used to contain Inuyasha and dispell Sesshomaru. The entire group knew that something was wrong…but even after two days of deliberation and screaming at one another, they were no closer to finding out why the girl was having such powerful surges of energy. Even when she was dormant, her body would glow, her hair picking up slightly as if lifted by a wind that wasn’t there.

They had all just looked on, content with trying to just wait it out-but this was the last straw!

Her body was beginning to disappear.

“Inuyasha! Inuyasha, she’s losing her BODY!” Sango cried, trying to shake her friend and instead watching as her hands slipped through Kagome’s shoulders instead.

“DAMN IT!” Inuyasha yelled, watching as her body gave off another burst of purifying energy that made even Sango have to take a step back.

This was it! He’d been cursed! Kagome had acting out her angerat him, Sesshomaru was acting strange, and now Kagome’s BODY was disappearing!

For Christ's sake-something was happening to her…and it couldn’t be good.

“KAGOME!” Inuyasha roared, pushing Sango out of the way and roughly smashing his hand across the small girl’s body.

“INUYASHA!” Kaeda gasped, watching as Sango was thrown against the wall.

The hanyou snarled in answer.

“No more! She’s done something! And this is it! This all ends NOW!”

“Uh…?” He heard the girl before him whimper but he only ‘struck’ her again, watching as her eyelids fluttered open.

“Inuyasha?”

“IDIOT! WAKE UP - YOU’RE DISAPPEARING!”

And as soon as the words were out, there was a veil of pink around her form and she became herself once again, her body jolting into solidity.

Sitting back on his heels, Inuyasha watched her soundlessly, aghast at what had just transpired. She sat up on her hands, looking around at the group all watching her with horror-filled faces.

“What...what has happened to you child?” Kaeda asked softly after a deathly still silence.

Kagome looked away from them in shame, still somewhat confused at what had happened, and yet fully knowing that what had just almost happened had been of her own free will.

“I don’t know…”

And the lie was said through bitter teeth.