Artificial Love

Artificial Love

La lala la... Oh it’s you. What are you doing back in my basement? (glances worriedly at closet and sprays more air freshener at it) He isn’t dead ok he just smells really bad. Sry it took so long to update. The boys just kept boinking and wouldn’t be made to work. I finally solved that problem though. Inuyasha can be very helpful if he is under the impression that he will be thrown to the caged Kagome if he isn’t. Well down to business then. Here’s chapter 5.


Disclaimer: Reviews are the reason that I write this. It’s the only payment I’ll see as my lawyer just informed me that because I don’t own Inuyasha and he’s just staying with me, I don’t get any of the profit. Little git won’t even pay rent, just waves his money in my face to annoy me. I wonder if my lawyer want’s to make friends with my psychiatrist in the closet.

Thoughts are still written in.


Chapter 5: Upon waking

Inuyasha woke up, to the tingling, pinprick feeling that comes when you’re leg falls asleep. Only his whole body felt that way.

What the hell was going on?

He cleared his throat, which was unbelievably dry and scratchy, and looked around where he lay for some water.

Miroku.

The thought hit him so quickly that he forgot about his throat, and searched his surroundings frantically for the monk. He tried to force his sleep ridden muscles to stand, but it seemed that his mind didn’t have control over his legs at the moment. He felt weak. Something had gone horribly wrong with the potion and he couldn’t even get up to see if his best friend was ok. A feeble attempt at a frustrated growl rose in the back of his throat as he sank back down into the mattress that he had been put on, feeling useless.

His best friend. Not lover. Not mate. He marveled at the thought, though a week ago it would have seemed normal enough. His memories were so clear at the moment. The whole week that the potion had been running through his veins, like someone else's thoughts, circling around in his perfect memory. Vivid. Maybe too vivid.

Sango entered the hut, with a somber Kaede on her heels. The old miko slipped soundlessly into a back room, and Inuyasha was sure that Miroku was in there. Why keep him hidden? He recalled how grave Kaede’s expression had been as she entered that room.

Oh god, he couldn’t be... not that.

He squeezed his eyes shut against tears that he was unwilling to shed.

'Even if I don’t love you after this, I’ll always protect you.'

Shit. Like he needed that right then. As if he wasn’t worried enough his mind had to play those low tricks on him. How cruel can you be to yourself.

A leaden feeling rested itself on his chest, and he struggled to breathe. To achieve at least some normalcy, because the thought that brought it on felt far from normal as it crawled into his already overloaded brain. Through his panic, he wondered how even if it didn’t feel normal, it could feel so right.

'Even if I don’t love you after this,' didn’t apply. Because he still did.

“Are you awake Inuyasha?” Sango whispered from beside his bedroll.

He couldn’t help but hear the worry that was wound into that whisper, and closed his eyes tighter.

“If I say no, will you leave me alone?” he asked in a feeble attempt at his usual tone.

“No.”

“Then yes,” he said sounding more like himself. Begrudgingly he opened his eyes, then instantly wanted to close them again when he saw carefully hidden sadness peeking out from behind her veiled expression. “Where’s Miroku?”

He tried to sound as if he didn’t care.

“Inuyasha,” she started. The worried look back in full force across her pale and saddened face. “I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it. Miroku...”

She paused, and Inuyasha mentally braced himself. His hand entwined in his blanket, squeezing firmly, as if to hold on to something would stop him from being blown away by the news.

“...appears to have been with child. When he drank the antidote... it caused him to him...to miscarry. Also...”

Her eyes met Inuyasha’s. His, staring blankly into nothingness. The hanyou’s tear ducts seemed to have caught on before their owner, as small glistening pools gathered at the edges of his wide eyed gaze. Shaken, she continued.

“...after he lost the ch...child.”

Her voice cracked at the word child, and she paused briefly to compose herself. After a moment she shook her head and continued frankly, not being able to sugar coat it any longer.

“He bled. A lot. We stopped it, but for a while there we thought we would lose him too.”

Her temper flared unwillingly and she lost the control she had been struggling desperately to maintain.

“How could you do this to him?!” she yelled, unable to stop herself. “Why did you have to sleep with him?! Get him pregnant! Any of it!”

She paused, taking a breath, then drilled the last words coldly into him.

“He almost died because of you!”

She stalked off in an angry rage, knowing that it wasn’t Inuyasha that she was angry with, but the situation. At that moment though, she couldn’t really say that she cared. She was just plain angry, and he was part of it, and she could always be ashamed of herself later.

Inuyasha looked on after her, hurt more by her tirade than he should have been. He stared with his mouth open, and words on his lips, but they wouldn’t be forced past the lump in his throat that threatened to cut off his air supply. His tears spilled over, as his mind whirred in a flurry of thoughts and images.

There was a flash of him holding Miroku, lovingly. 'I’ll always protect you.'

It was soon crowded in on by a million other thoughts that raced through his head, growing more jumbled and confused as they did , until everything became a blur of strangling lights and sounds that drove him near the edge of insanity’s jagged cliff. A single thought came booming into his ears with such force that he held his head in his hands.

'He almost died because of you!'

“Because of me,” he groaned softly into the stillness of the night.

“Because of me.”

This time it was spoken in a whisper, that fell as softly from his lips, as the tears fell softly from his eyes.

“Miroku...”

He sobbed quietly, turning to hide his face in his blanket as he cried. Crying, even when he had used up his tears, and dry sobs shook his weary frame. Crying, until sleep welcomed him into it’s dark, and peaceful depths.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are ye awake child?"

Miroku jumped at the sound, sitting up too fast only to find himself back on the mattress, feeling as if he might slip back into unconsciousness at any moment.

His head spun. His hand hurt.

His memory, which had been elusive, finally returned to him, and he nodded inwardly, realizing the reason for all of his complaints.

The potion.

Something had gone wrong and... He winced as a pain edged itself into his lower abdomen. Yes. Something had definitely gone wrong.

"What happened," he managed to hiss out through clenched teeth, as he pressed a hand against the searing pain in his stomach. Relaxing, when after a short time, and some deep breaths it began to decrease.

"Inuyasha should be up and about soon enough," said the old miko in a dull, tired voice. "He has been informed, and should be the one to explain it to ye. Until that time, I suggest ye rest."
She took the thick covers that laid disheveled around him where they had fallen at his sudden awakening, and pulled them up to his chin. "I have made a tea that will suppress the pain. Drink."

She held a cup of warm, strong smelling liquid, that he thought had no business being called tea, to his lips, and he gulped the foul brew slowly. After he didn't have to taste it anymore though, he noticed that the warmth of it lingered, and was quite comforting. He settled back into the soft bedding, and watched Kaede quietly leave the room.

Why hadn't the old miko wanted to tell him what had happened? Didn't he deserve to know at least something about his condition? And why should Inuyasha tell him? He hadn't reacted like Miroku had. Wouldn't Kaede be able to more accurately tell him what had happened?

His thoughts drifted to the time that he had spent with Inuyasha. It was as if he had been there, yet hadn't. As if he had been buried somewhere just under the surface of his conscience, and given only partial control over himself. He couldn't remember trying to fight it though.

Sango knew that he loved her, but he fell in love so easily. In reality he loved many. And what better excuse than a love potion to use for venting his pent up yearnings for the love that lingered at the forefront of his mind. His love for Inuyasha. He told himself that it was Sango that he loved, but the sensualist in him could not be persuaded to overlook his friend's exceptional beauty, even for his love of her.

It had been quite frustrating for Miroku. Being so close to something that he knew was out of reach, even for him. He had quite enjoyed being made love to by the hanyou. Indeed, instead of quenching the fire that burned in his loins for his friend, his encounter had quite the opposite affect on him. He wanted to make Inuyasha moan, and writhe under him, as he had so recently done under the snowy haired god of war.

He appreciated Sango's feminine beauty. But she, no matter how fiery on the battlefield, would be no match for him in bed. The way that she grew nervous and shy at the slightest passionate remark from him was enough to tell him that. And his demands, especially right then, demanded an equal partner.

He gazed down at the result of his thoughts, and sighed. Being unable to move, he resigned himself to the fact that more than his wounds would be aching that night, and closed his eyes, to let sleep take him, as his wounds would sadly permit no one else to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kagome stumbled on. Her muscles shook with the strain that she had put on them, but she willed herself to walk further. If she just kept moving, the pain of reality wouldn't be able to catch up to her before she passed out.

What had she done to herself.

He hated her. That was enough. But the worst part, the reason that she punished herself like she was, was that she deserved it.

Her legs quaked underneath her, and she fell to the soft grass. She was crying again. Would her tears never run out?

Pulling herself to one of the small stones that littered the unremarkable field that she had collapsed in, she rested her head against it. The cool smoothness of the stone against her hot, moist cheek, gave her a small measure of relief. She would have taken any small comfort at the moment, because the sadness and guilt were smothering her. Threatening to put her out.

Her sobs seemed unimaginably loud in the stillness of the night. It seemed that even the crickets had deserted her, and she looked around for someone, anyone, so that she could lose the emptiness that matched too well the void inside of her. Seeing no one to answer her prayer, she rested her forehead to the rock softly, quieting herself. There was no one. There was nothing. It was hopeless.

Soft footsteps rang through the thick silence, catching her ear, and she snapped her head up. Face awash with a hope she didn't know she still possessed.

"Inu...Inuyasha?"

She sensed a pure youkai presence beside where she lay, seconds before a rough gravely voice cut through the air, totally uncaring of it's rude interruption of the previous silence.

"Do I really smell so bad that you would confuse me with that dirty mutt?"

"Koga," she said softly, turning her head to the side to confirm her statement.

"The one and only, Kagome. Where is that smelly dog of yours anyways?"

Kagome's face crumpled, and she hugged her newfound rock tightly, to hide yet more tears that poured out of her over productive tear ducts.

"Kagome... what did he do to you," he ground out angrily, as he wrapped his arms around the girl that would be his mate. "I swear to god, if he hurt you in any way, he's dead."

He pulled her up to hold her more firmly, and rubbed her back soothingly. She shook in his arms, and his anger towards Inuyasha rose a notch.

"He...He didn't do anything, Koga," Kagome shakily sobbed out into his shoulder. "It was me. My...My fault."

Koga pulled her away to examine her face, just to be met with her bangs, as she turned her eyes down from his gaze. He softly, yet firmly, took her chin and lifted her moist eyes to his.

"Kagome. If he loved you half as much as I do, then there wouldn't be one thing in the world that you could do to make him angry enough not to come after you. Kagome, please believe that I... I'd never do that to you."

Kagome smiled faintly, yet sweetly at the wolf. She had never seen this side of him. Slightly nervous, and at the same time strongly protective. Before, she had always thought that Koga was just using her as a way to make Inuyasha angry. He had always made it seem that way. Maybe though, he really meant what he said. Maybe he thought that if he acted as he was at the moment, that Inuyasha would see it as a weakness.

Koga's brilliantly blue eyes flashed suddenly, as he put on one of his patented grins. Glancing down, Kagome giggled a bit as her eyes caught a flash of fur, and she noticed that Koga's tail was wagging happily.

"There now, ya see. I made you happy again. This is how you should always be Kagome. Sad just doesn't suit you."

He poked her nose lightly with a finger, and she smiled radiantly, wiping away the tears that had stained her cheeks.

"Koga."

"Yes Kagome?"

"Since you're in such a gracious mood, would you mind escorting me back to camp? I'm sure at least someone's worried about me."

Her smile faltered for a bit as she thought of Inuyasha. He had most likely taken the antidote already. Would he still have so much hatred for her?

"Stop right there!" Koga demanded playfully. "You're thinking about him again, and I won't have you start to cry. You're done with that.”

His smile grew wider than Kagome thught possible. “Now if you want me to take you back, you have to promise to try your hardest not to think of him. I don't think it should be too hard though, considering who you're with."

Kagome raised her eyebrow at Koga's cocky expression. "Someone's full of themselves, arent they."

She smiled at the way he tilted his head to the side, cutely questioning her, and as he pondered, she started back towards camp. Laughing as she went, and shouting over her shoulder. "Nevermind."

Koga shrugged, and quickly caught up to his woman. She was a bit strange at times, but he'd pick her over normal girls any day of the week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inuyasha peeked throughout the slightly open door. Miroku was still sleeping, and the hanyou debated whether he should wake him or not. He was worried about him. The monk still didn't know what had happened. How would he take the news that Kaede had instructed Inuyasha to give him.

He couldn't resist the chance to sit by Miroku's side, able to admire him, if only until the monk woke up. Being careful not to make a sound, he crept to Miroku's side and knelt beside his mattress. As he watched the monk, so peaceful in sleep, a deep pang of guilt made it’s way roughly through him, and his face darkened.

His fault.

Not only would the monk not love him anymore, he might very well hate him. And if Miroku knew what Inuyasha really felt, he surely would. Because if Inuyasha had it to do all over again, he wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Inuyasha reached out tentatively with a trembling hand, and softly brushed the bangs from Miroku’s pale, smooth forehead. At the light touch, thick eyelashes, black as the night fluttered open, revealing twin, midnight violet orbs. Inuyasha gasped, both at the beautiful sight before him, and his surprise at being caught in such an intimate gesture by the man that he loved. The man that most likely wouldn’t love him anymore.

“Hello Inuyasha. May I ask what it is that you have woken me up in the middle of the night for?”

Inuyasha relaxed a bit. Maybe Miroku hadn’t caught him. Or maybe...Maybe he still loved him, and didn’t mind the gesture. “What do I care what time it is? Kaede told me to come talk to you when I woke up. I’m awake.”

“Alright then,” said Miroku. “Are you going to tell me what happened now, or is it some kind of secret?”

Inuyasha faltered in his act. Here and now was the point when Miroku would begin to hate him. The hanyou took a deep breath, oblivious to the way that Miroku studied him, noticing that his friend was obviously shaken about what he had to say.

Inuyasha leveled his gaze at the monk. He might as well get it over with. “When we were under the potions control, and we...you know...”

The hanyou cleared his throat and began again.

“When we mated...you got pregnant.”

He lowered his head, not realy wanting to go on with what he had to say.

Miroku looked shocked for a moment, then grinned. “Wow Inuyasha, you must have some exceptionally powerful seed to be able to knock up a man.”

Inuyasha’s face shot up, exasperation replacing sadness. “It was the potion, stupid! And I wouldn’t know, I haven't exactly gone around trying to knock up guys! You’re the first, as far as I know!”

Miroku put on a sly, mischievous smile that would have been envied by any kitsune. “What about girls, Inuyasha.”

“Shut up!”

“How many of them have you knocked up?”

Miroku laughed at Inuyasha’s reddening face. He couldn’t tell if it was from anger, or embarrassment.

“I said, shut up monk!”

“Do you have little baby Inuyasha’s running around somewhere out there?”

“No, ok! You were the first! I hadn’t slept with anyone...before...you.”

Inuyasha’s eyes widened at what he had just let slip. The silence in the room, saying a thousand words.

Miroku cleared his throat to disrupt the awkward silence between them. “I’m pregnant then? Is that why the antidote didn’t work?”

“No you’re n... Wait, what did you say?”

“I said that the antidote must not have worked. When I first woke up, I thought that it had, but since I have seen you again, I feel the same about you as I did before taking it.”

“You... you do?”

“Yes. I guessed that that was what you came here to tell me. After you told me that I was pregnant, I assumed that the pain that I had felt was my body rejecting the antidote. I still love you, so the potion must still be working.”

Inuyasha’s heart jumped for a moment, before plummeting further into the depths of his stomach. Miroku spoke of his love so distantly, as if it was just a symptom. He must have really believe what he had said. For a split second, Inuyasha thought of letting the monk continue believing what he had guessed, but realized that it would hurt him more to find out later. When he showed no signs of pregnancy. When the baby never came. Better to just tell him.

“No, Miroku... I’m sorry, but that’s not what the pain came from.”

He spoke gently, his words fragile so that they would break against the monk, instead of breaking him. “The pain you felt... was caused by you’re body rejecting the pregnancy. Not the antidote.”

Miroku’s face went blank, and Inuyasha could almost see the color draining out of it. The monk stared into space for what seemed like hours, then, with a slightly dazed blink of his eyes, he opened his mouth.

Words came slowly, in a kind of shocked monotone that sent shivers of dread up Inuyasha’s spine.

“I never really wanted children Inuyasha. It was all a lie. A stupid farce to get young women into bed with me. I never wanted it. A child doomed as I am, to a feeble sliver of a life that isn’t even a life, so much a mission. I used to pray that none of the women that I slept with conceived. Now it appears that my prayers have ben answered, and all I feel is a deep regret.
He looked deeply into his friends golden eyes. “...Am I a bad person Inuyasha?”

“No, Miroku. We’ve all wished for something that we didn’t really want. It’s human nature not to know what we want. No fault of yours.”

“It really doesn’t feel that way right now.”

“I know.”

Inuyasha drew Miroku close, and felt love clear and true spill out of him for the monk. No trace of fakeness that had tormented them both remained, and he basked in the gentle warmth of it.

Miroku’s breath hitched as realization dawned on him.

“Inuyasha, I love you! Really, truly... love you.”

The hanyou laughed against Miroku’s neck as he breathed in the sweet aroma of his hair.

“Me too, Miroku. Me too.”

Well there you have it. They wuv each other still! I’m so happy I could let Kagome out of her cage! Um... well I would, if she wasn’t making me so much money at the moment. REVIEW!!!!


Immortality lost: Hurry, hurry folks, cause this once in a lifetime offer won’t last long! See the dreaded Kagome up close and in person! Only five dollars! Yes ma’m, I assure you, she’s had all of her shots.

Kagome: This is SOOO embarrassing.

Immortality lost: Quiet mortal! You’re ruining the illusion.

Inuyasha: I can’t believe these pathetic people’d pay five dollars to see her.

Kagome: (glares at Inuyasha through bars) Sit Boy! (crowd jumps back, frightened)

Inuyasha: (face down in elephant poo) You better pray that you’re in that cage for a good long time woman.

Kagome: Sit! Sit! SitSitSit! (crowd runs in terror, ladies screaming)

Immortality lost: You’re killing my sales! Be nice to Inuyasha or I’ll go back to poking you with my stick. It was amusing.

(some random amount of time passes)

Inuyasha: It’s cold! Can me and Miroku go back to you’re basement?

Immortality lost: The only reason that I’m whoring Kagome for the public, is that you won’t help me with the rent. You pay, or you stay. Hey that rhymed! (does a little happy dance)

Inuyasha: (rolls his eyes) Ok, ok, I’ll pay you’re stupid rent.

Immortality lost: Yayyyy! I love you Inuyasha!

Inuyasha: No you don’t. Only Miroku loves me.

Immortality lost: Hey! If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even love each other. Well, technically Miroku would want to love you. All night long!

Miroku: It’s true. I would.

Kagome: (sneezes, and huddles in corner so kid won’t poke her with stick)

Immortality lost: Hey! Only I can do that! (grabs stick and pokes kid with it, then Kagome for good measure) See ya next time folks!