By My Hands

xx Chapter 6 xx Balad of Lonliness xx

INSPIRATION: "Should've Listened" -- Nickelback.

She had to see InuYasha, atleast to say goodbye, for good. Maybe someday they would chance to meet. But for now she just wanted to be with Sesshoumaru. While Sessh was at work Kikyou dressed quickly in a white tank-top and black baggy jeans, she had taken on a rather street punk style and loved it. Pulling on one of Sesshoumaru's colorful ties and lacing up her shoes she stepped outside and walked towards the "Oboko Katachi."

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She came up slowly, feeling a slight hesitation in her heart. She had last seen him in his car, atleast that was what she thought. The last time she had truly been in his presance was when she last said goodbye. She had poured her heart out to him, saying that she just couldn't give him what he was looking for. And then she ran, taking the easy way out of the situation, and she hadn't talked to him or seen him since.

She slowly came through the dark doors and black curtains. She stood by the bar, at the back of the club, surveying the people who were there. She hid behind the black curtain, and watched as Akira served brihgtly colored drinks to the usual customers. She surveyed the stage, still the same. Watched the dancers, all the usual girls... except now she felt like she didn't belong. She had been here almost as long as Akira, and the home she had grown to accept, no longer felt real.

She nearly cried, feeling so out of place. But she collected herself and watched once more as InuYasha walked down the halls to her empty dressing room. She followed against the wall so as not to be noticed by the others least they ask her to perform again. She slid down the halls watching InuYasha, he put his hand to her old door before entering, drinking in the warm smell. Kikyou stood in the doorway. "InuYasha..." she breathed. He turned instantly, even before she said anything.

Kikyou couldn't even remember the seconds that existed before he was embracing her. His arms wrapped tightyl around her back, and his head resting over her shoulder. The slow soft songs he'd listened to resounded in his head. And he could almost swear he was dying. "Kikyou..." he whispered, unbelieving it was so real. "Why did you come back?" he asked, wondering how long she would stay. "I... I wanted to say goodbye..." she breathed, suddenly getting a feeling. A feeling that was pulling on her heart, chaining her here. Not wanting her to go.

InuYasha held her for one moment before drawing back, he wanted to kiss her, he wanted to love her. But that was impossible now, so he thought he would express his love in the only option left to him. "Kikyou... I want you to hear this song I wrote for you... after the day you left..." he started, picking up his guitar, "I still couldn't stop thinking about you... so I wrote it all down..." he sighed before slowly starting a rythym. (x1x)

"There's clothes all over the floor, I don't remember them being here before. Smell of perfume isn't here, why's lipstick on the mirror? And still I don't understand... No pictures left in the hall, there's three new holes in my wall.
Where the hells my credit cards, why's my wallet in the yard? And still I don't understand..." he meant it, he couldn't understand. If he was in love, if she was the one... then why couldn't he have her? He continued his melody, rolling into the chorus. Softly letting the music tell his emotions, those damned, confusing emotions...

"Well now I guess I should've listened, When you said you'd had enough. A little trick I picked up from my father,
In one ear and out the other, whys love gotta be so tough?" that finished the first verses, but his feelings werent over yet, Kikyou took a seat next to him on the couch. "Should see the look on my face, my shit's all over the place. Why's this happening to me, why'd you take both sets of keys? And still I don't understand... Well now I guess I should've listened, When you said you'd had enough. A little trick I picked up from my father, In one ear and out the other, Whys love gotta be so tough? Well now I guess I should've listened... Oh... oh..." and then was asoft, slow silence in words. The sad rythym played for a minute longer before InuYasha opened his heart again.

"There's clothes all over my floor, I don't remember them being here before, There are no candles in here, lipstick still on my mirror? And still I don't understand... Now I guess I should've listened... When you said you'd had enough
A little trick I picked up from my father. In one ear and out the other, why must life be so tough? Well now I guess I should've listened, When you said you had enough A little trick I picked up from my father In one ear and out the other, whys love gotta be so tough?" Kikyou was nearly in tears, she could understand his reasoning. "Kikyou... if I'm in love... if you're the one... why can't I have you?"

Kikyou let out her tears now, falling into his arms, "I don't know InuYasha... it's so confusing... I feel so attached to you, and yet, I couldn't ever leave Sesshoumaru. So all I need to know is... which one... is the right one?" she sighed, taking deep breaths between words. InuYasha pulled back, wiping away her tears with his hands. "Kikyou... I want to tell you that it's me... I want to be with you so badly, but I also want you to be happy, I want you to be safe and content wherever you are."

"InuYasha, wherever I am... I'll always remember you." she said, giving him onle last kiss, pressing her lips against his for just a moment. Giving him enough to roll with. "Goodbye InuYasha... I... love you..." she said, and then slipped back behind the door, and the black curtains. Escaping into the bright world beyond the dark club. She took one last look up at the neon sign. Gazing into her window upstairs, she saw Akria and she opened the window. "Kikyou!" she yelled, Kikyou blew a kiss and waved up to her friend, "Goodbye Akira..." she said loudly so she could hear. Akira understood now, Kikyou was leaving, and she had probably seen InuYasha downstairs. "Sayonara tomodachi Kikyou-sama."


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Kikyou and Sesshoumaru walked hand in hand towards the flight gates, leaving their old life behind they boarded the plane. Kikyou smiled up at him, and kissed his nose gently. He kissed her back too, gently quickly on the lips.

The trip itself held nothing of interest, and nither did settling in. Kikyou was eager to see the soldiers, she wore camflage patterned pants, and a white fitted t-shirt. She picked out a deep black tie, to match the soldiers. And put on her camoflage patterned cadet hat to match. She pulled her hair into a bun and waitied on the bed for Sesshoumaru. He came out of the bathroom in his uniform, clean and straight from top to bottom. He left his hair down though pulled it back into a loose pony-tail. The blue and white uniform (x2x) suited him, though his blue crescent moon tatoo still stood out from his outfit, and it stood out prominently from his forehead.

"Sessh... you look perfect." she said huggin him tightly. "Arigatou Kikyou-koi, you don't look half-bad yourself." he smiled quickly kissing her lips. Aftet tightening his tie he turned to her. "Ready?" he asked, taking her arm on his right side, and her lunch packs in the other. He smiled while he led her down through the hallways to the elevator. This building was mostly offices, but it had spare quarters upstairs for soldiers and their family. Sesshoumaru pushed through the glass doors and stood stark still, hand to his forehead. Kikyou followed suit, standing just as her koibito, arm readied in air.

A man in the same uniform as Sesshoumaru walked over. He was considerably older in age, and had many colored medals adorning the left side of his jacket. She peeked around Sesshoumaru to see that he also had a few of those colored bars. She smiled and went back to her position. The man smiled and told them to ease up. Sesshoumaru stood still spreading his legs a pace and clasping his arms behind his back. Kikyou examined his positioning and then copied him. Smiling up at him, and then to the brass. (x3x)

"Welcome back Ayoyama-san, you've come just in time. Though I can see you've broght our flower back." said the man. Turning his attention to Kikyou. Sesshoumaru didn't move from his stance, "Hai Karumo-sama." he said in a quick loud tone. "Ease up some more Ayoyama, don't stand on ceremony. After all you have to show BellflowerBlue around." Kikyou raised an eyebrow, "BellflowerBlue sir?" she said, confused. The man aparently named Karumo turned to face her. "Hai, that is your code-name. Has Ayoyama not told you about your... heritage?" she could feel the pause in that sentance, almost as if the words were painful for him to speak.

Kikyou shook her head, "Iie sir! Ayoyama-san has told me everything." she said, stating it in the same tone as Sesshoumaru had in the moment before. Karumo put his hands on her shoulders, there was a relieved and happy look in his eyes, "We are all glad to have you back, please... this way." he said, and lead her and Sesshoumaru towards the back doors. Stepping out into a courtyard, there was a beautiful view of Tokyo harbor and that was when Kikyou noticed the two stones at the end of the path they now walked. She stopped, and ran forward, pausing before she got to the gardens.

Karumo and Sesshoumaru stayed behind, and stayed quiet, talking to each other. They payed no mind to Kikyou or what she was doing, and she again started forward. She knelt and breathed in the sea air. Running her hadns down the sides of the stones as she read what it said. "Rest peacefully InuTaishou Kanawa, and his koibito Kira Kanawa." she coudln't cry, only smile. "Father, mother..." she sighed looking at their pictures. Her father had long silver blonde hair, much like Sesshoumaru, and her mother had long dark brown hair. Her father was strong, and he looked happy, her mother was simple and beautiful. She smiled brightly and looked into the clear blue sky. "I forgive you chichi, kaa-san, I love you both."

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Sesshoumaru stayed pretty much silent until later that evening, he had changed into his olive green work uniform and Kikyou had joined him partially in training that day. Kikyou's arms and legs ached, Sesshoumaru had to carry her home from the camp. She smiled when he picked her up bridle style and carried her back to their room. He gently tucked her in bed and kissed her. "You get some sleep, you had a hard day." she nodded, wondering how Sessh could hold the stamina to keep going like that all day long. She watched him undress to his shirt and boxers and climb in bed next to her. Something about him made Kikyou worry, and she kept watching him.

He seemed nervous and he wouldn't look at her, he just played with his hands and looked around the room. Kikyou turned his head to face her, he could see the worry in her eyes. "Sessh? What's wrong? Are you okay?" she asked, putting her arms over him. She held her tightly, pulling her into his lap, "Kikyou-koi, there's a new mission. And I have to be leaving soon. I have one week to train myself in stealth. (x4x)" Kikyou looked worried, sad, "How long will you be gone?" Sesshoumaru looked at her, he tried to brush away her newly formed tears, but they just kept reforming. "I might be gone a month at latest. But after that, I may retire. So this is my last operation. (x5x)"

Kikyou hugged him tightly, trying not to keep crying, but now as soon as she had gotten him back, gotten used to him, gotten over her emotions... he would be leaving here again. "I guess I should've listened..." she said, letting her voice trail and merge into a song, "...I trick I picked up from my father.. in one ear and out the other... why love gotta be so tough?" she finished kissing him gently, and then resting her head on his chest. Sesshoumaru held her for every moment that night, and even woke up the next morning with her in his arms.

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After 6 days had passed and Kikyou had finally come to get over this new tradgedy, she hugged him tightly. "No worries Kikyou... aishiteru itsumo. (x6x)" He kissed her long and deep, and then straitening his uniform, stepped out of the airport. He waved to her from the windows and blew her kisses until the plane had lifted off the ground. He waited until his commander arrived and then received his orders. This last mission was dangerous, and it could be fatal. Sesshoumaru formed his troops up and briefed them before pulling down his sunglasses to shade his identity. The whole unit (x7x) was dressed in civilian clothes, all awaiting their final pay off.

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Yay!! This is finally coming to a sweet end.....


NOT!!!!!


We've still got alot of chapters on the way here people, I'd say mayeb another 4 more before this is done, but just know that we're in the final plans of battle here... lol (get it?) Anyways, check out the dictionary below for the definitions of all those annoying (x0x) signs you've seen throoghout the story!! The lot of my family has been in that navy or army and I know all about it!!

DICTIONARY:

(x1x) "Should've Lsitened" by Nickelback is the song.
(x2x) Dark blue pressed pants, and white collar shirt, black tie and blue suit jacket. Y'know the usual business/navy uniform.... how much less breative can I get?
(x3x) Brass.... y'know cheif, commander, general... head guy... the officers... THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE WITH HIGH RANK!!
(x4x) In stealth, in secret.. training for a secret, undercover spy mission. Yes Sesshoumaru is a spy.
(x5x) Operation, Military plan, set of orders.
(x6x) aishiteru itsumo -- I love you always.
(x7x) unit -- regiment of atleast 5 of more soldiers or peoples. (a.k.a. Sesshoumaru's small army lol)


NEXT!!: SOLO IN A MINOR.... KIKYOU IS ALONE TO LET DEPRESSION AND LONGING SET IN AGAIN... BUT MAYBE INUYASHA DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT GOODBYE MEANT... AND SESSHOUMARU IS RISKING HIS LIFE...