A Love That Never Was

Author’s note: The only good thing about being unemployed is having lof tif time for my writing. I’m pulling maybe two chapters a day out of my mind at this point, but if I do manage to find a job, it probably will slow down a bit. But for now enjoy. Also when I make the time frame to be seventy years prior, I’m guesstimating as to when Onigumi would have been born and started to cause trouble in the world itself, not just for Inuyasha and co. And as always my love and thanks to everyone who has been kind enough to review my story. Once again alamelames will be used to light my cigarettes, which will be helpful as I often smoke while I write.

Disclaimer: Don’t own Inuyasha, not in this lifetime at least ;)


Sesshoumaru sat in the forest, trying to meditate. It had been six months since the world had gone mad. Six months of trying to keep his own sanity. Six months of confusion. Six months since the miko had vanished in his arms. He growled, unable to find his center of calm. Yet again, he found his mind wandering through the experiences oe pae past six months.

After the miko had vanished, the world around him had started spinning and blackness had descended. When he had awakened, it had been in his own bed at home. After a few minutes of confusion he realized that he was reliving an evening that he had experienced over seventy years ago. To his further shock, he realized that he had both his arms. He had quickly flown away from the castle, trying to collect himself.

Over the course of the first several weeks, he had slowly started to realize the full extent of what the miko’s wish had meant. She had wished for Onigumi’s existence to be wiped from the world. He had no idea how well her wish had worked, however. He would have to wait a few decades to see. The only thing he had been able to do so far was track down Inuyahsa. The annoying hanyou was alive and much younger, still unaware of their father’s legacy hidden within his eye. He had decided to wait until the hanyou was older to take it. To attack him while he was still young would be dishonorable. But in the meantime, it seemed as though his sanity was slowly bleeding away.

No one else seemed to realize that there was anything wrong in the world. For everyone around him, this was the way it was supposed to be, no changad bad been made. But for him, he was haunted by memories of a past that was now a future that would most likely never happen. At times it seemed like his mind was being torn to shreds. On these days he escaped howling into the woods, destroying anything that got in his path. On other days he lay in bed trying to convince himself that it had all been a dream, there had been no miko, no wish made, no kiss under the stars. But that kiss…that kiss convinced him that it had been real. The feeling of her soft mouth under his, the smooth flesh of her shoulders, the way her eyes had shone when she spoke his name….and the empty feeling that she left in his heart as well as his arms.

The only thing that he had been able to sort out in the past six months was his infatuation with her. In the beginning it had been nothing but a distraction. Something to occupy his mind. So he would make the little miko answer his questions and satisfy his curiosity about why she was so strange. But the more he questioned her, the more he had wanted to know. And so he questioned her about her thoughts, feelings, and dreams, all under the pretense of her being a source of amusement. He had ignored it when he started to notice her sweet scent. He had ignored it when he realized he sympathized with her and wished he could comfort her in her pain. But when she had vanished he had been unable to ignore it anymore, Se, Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Westeandsands, had fallen in love with a human. And at this point, it was a human that he wasn’t even sure had really existed. If the whole situation hadn’t been tearing him apart, it would have been laughable.

He stood up and stretched. There was no point in trying to continue his meditation. He hadn’t been able to focus since before the madness had begun. If the miko had appeared in front of him at that moment he wasn’t sure if he would have kissed her or wrung her neck. His days were haunted with memories of the next seventy years and his nights were haunted with dreams of her. Her voice, her lips, her eyes….He growled angrily and started walking. The seer’s cave was not much farther; he shouldn’t have even rested to begin with. And there was another factor. He was Inuyoukai. He should not have to rest often as he currently was. But the battle that was taking place in his mind was taking every bit of energy he had. He wure ure that if he had been born human or hanyou, he would have lost his sanity all ready. As it was, he had barely managed to hold onto it.

He approached the cave reverently. He knelt down in front of it. He knew that this particular seer was the most powerful in all of Japan, but also the most insane and dangerous. But if anyone were going to be able to answer his questions it would be her.

“Great seer Haruka, Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands requests permission to enter your territory with an offering.” His voice echoed through the cave and all went silent.

“You may enter, Lord of the western Lands. But be warned if your offering is not sufficient, you will not enjoy the consequences.” The whisper faded into the wind as Sesshoumaru stepped forward.

He walked into the cave. The light was almost nonexistent, to the point where he was having difficulty seeing. As he walked further in, a soft light became visible ahead of him. He approached it apprehensively. Anything would be worth ending the pain in his mind. He walked a few more feet and finally what lurked within the cave was visible.

The ancient spider youkai sat in the center of her web. With the exception of her age, she seemed to be a normal youkai. But her web, however, was immense. It was so complex in its strands that to try and stare at the patterns to long would be destroy ones mind. Not that I have of of one left to destroy, he thoubittbitterly. He knelt down before seer broubrought forward his offering. The four unconscious rabbits lay unmoving, the rising and lowering of their chests the only sign that they still lived.

“Fresh meat,” said the seer greedily. “Not many creatures wander into my cave and sustenance is scarce. You offering has been accepted Lord of the Western Lands. Awaken them and let them enter my web.”

With a wave of his hand, he released them from the magical sleep he had pl the them under. The frightened creatures ran straight towards the light before they saw the web. They were quickly caught within its sticky strands. Moving faster than he would have expected for a youkai of her age, the seer bound them up for later meals. She then turned back to Sesshoumaru.

“I know why you are here Lord of the Western Lands. Turn towards your right and see what I have.” He turned and looked at the wall where a pile of web strands and ashes lay.

“That is what ist oft of the time that changed six months ago. This,” she said motioning to the web behind her,” Is what I have managed to weave in the past six months.”

“You will recover your mind. It will take time, but you will learn to live with the dual nature of your reality. I can reassure though that it did happen. All of it. I felt it and saw it all. We lost many promising young seers as a result of the human girls actions. They were unable to handle a dual reality and died screaming as their minds collapsed.”

“Kagome,” he said before realizing he was going to speak. “Her name is Kagome.” Why had he said that? He had never even spoken her name out loud before this moment. He waited for the seer to attack him for his disrespect, but instead the seer laughed wickedly.

“Her name was Kagome, Lord of the Western Lands, “ she agreed. “ Now…” the youkai frowned. “Now I cannot see her.” Sesshoumaru could not breathe. He was suffocating.

“Are you telling me that she is gone, that her wish destroyed her?” Oh please Kami no, his mind begged.

“I did not say that. I said that I cannot see her. In addition to the rest of what her wish did, it took the vision of the human girl known as Kagome Higurashi away from my sight.”

“Was she truly from the future, Lady Haruka?”

“Yes she was.” The insane seer seemed to be growing bored with him. “Do you have any other questi Lor Lord of the western Lands?”

“Will she be there in five hundred years?” Please, his mind begged.

“I told you, she has been taken from my sight. Her existence is still there, but the one named Kagome Higurashi is no longer within my sight. I grow tired of your obsession, now go!” The spider bared her cruel fangs at him.

He bowed low to her and back out of the cave slowly, not wishing to anger her further. He reached the edge of the cave and walked out blinking as the sunlight assaulted his vision.

She still existed. He knew she did. And he would find her. He was Inuyoukai. He could wait. Five hundred years would pass in the blink of an eye. But for now, he needed to heal his mind. A few months in the woods would do him good. And after that, well he remembered many things about the next seventy years. If all of it had not changed, he would put his knowledge to as much use as he could.