Blood Stained

 

 

Blood Stained

Chapter 59: Fun Day

 

 

She glanced at herself in the mirror as she finished pulling her hair up into a ponytail.  Kagome then pulled down on her blue t-shirt, nervousness filling her.  Resuming the jewel shard hunt was quite nerve wracking.  She was aware that the whole thing was her idea, but now she was almost re-considering it.

 

It was true that they had to finish it, there was nothing more that she wanted then to take her son back home, but…

 

She also had to leave Kiyoshi behind to search for the shard.  There was no way she would bring him out in to the dangerous world where she had learned she could not even protect herself.  If something happened to her she would not forgive herself, hence why she would have to leave him with Kouga.

 

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him, but he was her son and he was still so young.

 

Problem was, she couldn’t wait for him to grow up to find the last shard.  They would eventually need to return to Japan.

 

And returning to Japan meant going back to living at the shrine with her mother while Sesshomaru lived somewhere else.  Of course that was not the reason for her uneasiness and uncertainty.  True she had gotten used to living with him by now, but it would be fine to not live with him as well.

 

A sigh rolled off her lips as she pulled her eyes away from the mirror and turned around to head back into the room.

 

They had set a whole schedule for their hunt since she didn’t want to be away from her son for too long.  Minimal hours of search would probably drag it out longer than it had to be, but it was necessary.  Plus it wasn’t like she felt safe flying back to Japan with her son right away.  He was still a bit young.

 

As soon as Kagome stepped into the bedroom, both males looked up at her and appeared as if she had disturbed some secret plan of theirs.

 

“Everything okay?” she inquired before raising an eyebrow.

 

Kouga smiled brightly at her, showing off his fangs before nodding.  “Just giving doggie here some tips,” he said before digging his elbow into Sesshomaru’s side.

 

Clearly the gesture was not appreciated by Sesshomaru as he quickly frowned, but Kouga ignored the glare he was receiving and instead focused all of his attention on Kagome.

 

“You look stunning.”

 

He knew that compliments were probably not the best thing to do with Sesshomaru around, but he was also aware that someone had to make Kagome feel good about herself, Sesshomaru wouldn’t have the balls to do it.

 

“Thank you,” she replied, taking a step in their direction.

 

Involuntarily, she found herself looking up at Sesshomaru, as if she was waiting for him to say something.  He returned her stare nearly making her blush because of the boldness in his eyes, but he remained silent.  It dragged on for a little while with Kouga nearly rolling his eyes.

 

Kagome held back another sigh, before glancing away.

 

“I’ll go check on Kiyoshi before we go.”

 

Kouga resisted the urge of smacking Sesshomaru as he saw Kagome walk away.  He had truly been an idiot to believe that Sesshomaru was the smart one.  He knew he had no experience with women, but lately he had been pushing it.  Unless he was being shy, which Kouga doubted was an option for someone like the Lord of the West.

 

“Could ya be any dumber?” asked Kouga as he shook his head.

 

Without giving Sesshomaru a chance to answer, he walked away to meet up with Ginta and Hakkaku in the kitchen.  He wouldn’t even bother to explain to Sesshomaru what he had done wrong.  If he couldn’t figure it out, it wasn’t his problem anymore.  The guy really needed to do some of that work on his own.

 

It was clear to Sesshomaru that Kouga didn’t understand the situation.  Unlike Kouga, he could not compliment Kagome as if it was nothing.  Not only did he not have such a right, but also he was afraid to put her in an uncomfortable position.  He was sure that she had not been waiting for him to say she looked stunning.  Though she did look so to him, no matter what she wore.

 

He tilted his head to the side and stole a glance at her as she was bent down over the crib, talking to their son.  She could not look more beautiful than she did at that moment.  Sesshomaru could not deny he did feel a small amount of stress when it came to searching for the last shard with her once again.

 

The last time they had gone hunting for the shard he had been almost unable to protect her, it could have cost the life of their son and hers as well.  Obviously it would be hard for him to forgive himself for allowing it to ever happen again, he knew such a thing could not occur.

 

But what if he failed her again?

 

“Ready?”

 

Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts as he raised his head to look at her.  Once he processed her question, he nodded.

 

Her fingers were twitching as her nervousness increased, she could only hope it was not showing.  Going out there again was quite a scary thing, but for the sake of her duty and herself it was something she had to do.

 

“We are leaving,” Sesshomaru announced towards the kitchen, only to see Kouga pop his head out.

 

“Have fun,” he said as he waved.

 

Kagome bit her bottom lip as a rush of thoughts went through her mind.

 

“I put five extra milk bottles in the fridge.  And all of his diapers are under the nursing table and-“

 

“Don’t worry beautiful.  I’ll take care of him.  As long as he doesn’t purify me.”

 

Both Sesshomaru and Kagome couldn’t hide the little smirk that appeared on their lips as they recalled the memory.

 

“I would not count on that,” said Sesshomaru as he grabbed his jacket.

 

Kouga glared at him for a second before moving his glance to Kagome, almost looking for some sort of confirmation nothing would happen.  Kagome gave him a small smile knowing that though Kiyoshi might attempt what he did last time he would not harm Kouga.  At least not too bad.

 

She then glanced at her son, her heart heavy at the thought that she was about to leave for the first time.  It was tearing her heart apart hence why she knew they could not be gone for very long.  As she was about to look away, Kiyoshi peered at her and offered her what appeared to be a smile.  Her face softened, as she smiled back.

 

Kagome knew that if they didn’t go now, she would end up staying.  It was already hard and his face was making it harder on her.  Kagome took a deep breath before turning around, ready to head outside.

 

Sesshomaru found himself looking at his son as well, but not as long as Kagome had.  He knew Kiyoshi would be fine, but he could understand how difficult it was for a mother to leave their child behind.  He hated that he had to do this, but since they had been unable to complete the jewel prior to the birth of their son, they were left with very little choice.

 

He could only hope their little search would be very uneventful.

 

-B-

 

After an hour of driving through the main city without any sign of the last shard, it had become clear to the both of them that perhaps that they would have more luck in secluded areas much like it had happened for the first one.  Whoever had the shard probably didn’t leave it in the open, or if by some miracle nobody had found it, chances were that it was very well hidden in the wilderness.

 

It was why they had been dropped off near a forest and both of them had been forced to walk.  They were obviously hoping that the trip would be their only one, but their hopes were not high.  After all, they had been graced with very little luck since the beginning of their adventure.

 

Kagome tilted her head to the left side, before doing the same thing on the right side.  Frankly she felt out of shape and all the walking was starting to get to her.  She almost found herself wondering how she did it when she was pregnant.  Then again, she had spent a lot of time passed out or resting back when she had been in that condition.

 

Now, she had to rely on her own self get around.  Of course, Sesshomaru was still very protective of her, walking by her side instead of in front of her.  She thought he might walk behind her, but then she reminded herself that she lacked total sense of direction and that if she were leading them, they would get lost.

 

Not that Sesshomaru knew his way around either.

 

For the long fifteen minutes that they had been walking, it had been nothing but silent.  Kagome wasn’t sure if it was because they were focused or they had nothing to say or were just feeling awkward.  Some days she felt more comfortable around him then others, she couldn’t explain just why that was.  She could remember kissing him, yet thinking about the same thing at that moment brought her anxiety.  She could not do it.

 

However the lack of conversation was getting to her.

 

“So you must be used to this huh?”

 

Sesshomaru raised his head and glanced her way, a bit confused.  “I mean you – well you then, always use to do this.  I mean I use to think you didn’t even have anywhere to live.”

 

“Being in a castle all by yourself can get lonely.”

 

Kagome couldn’t help but be a bit surprised by his words.  “You got lonely?  Back then?”

 

The Sesshomaru she remembered didn’t seem to enjoy company, thus she found it a bit hard to believe that he would actually despise being alone.  She thought others annoyed him to no end, why would he seek company?

 

“I was always alone.  I was perhaps unaware that it was loneliness I felt.” He paused for a moment, his words stuck.  “Until Rin, that is.”

 

Kagome knew it was perhaps none of her business, but she couldn’t help but ask the questions that floated in her mind.  “I always wondered how Rin ended up with you.”

 

He often wondered himself, not that he ever regretted it.  “I always pay my debt.”

 

She frowned.  “You owed Rin?”

 

Sesshomaru nodded, though she could not see it since she was looking straight ahead.  “After Inuyasha cut my arm in our father’s tomb, I found myself badly injured.  I required time to heal and did so in a fairly quiet area.”

 

The memory was so vivid in his mind he almost felt once again as if it had just happened.  It was true that Rin had made quite an impact on his life.

 

“Rin found me.  Every day she brought me food.  I told her I didn’t require any, but she came back every day.  She was not scared.”

 

Now that he was thinking about it, there were a lot of similarities between Rin and Kagome.  Perhaps it was why now that he could see her for who she was, he found her captivating.  She had the same strength within her that Rin had.

 

Kagome couldn’t hold back the smile that crept up on her face.  She could hear the change in the tone of Sesshomaru’s voice when he had begun talking about Rin.  She knew just how important she had been to him, how she had perhaps begun the transformation.

 

She also knew that when Rin died, he was probably devastated.

 

“I’m sure that she never wished her life could have been different.  You were everything to her and I know she was proud of you.”

 

Her speech was short, made of few words, but it meant a lot.  After everything that had happened, and the fact that both of them were related, he had often felt like he had failed Rin somehow.  As a father, as a guardian, he would never know Rin’s perspective on the whole thing would have been, but to hear those words come from Kagome, did lift a small weight off his shoulders.

 

It still wasn’t right, but he hoped that one day, in time, it would be.

 

“Thank you.”

 

After their short conversation they returned to silence, but Sesshomaru couldn’t tear his eyes away from Kagome.  Everything was uncertainty when it came to her, it brought within him a feeling of uneasiness.  He just knew he was going to lose her, contemplating if she’d be better off without him, or if he’d ever be with her truly.

 

He didn’t feel very often, or towards many people, usually he could detach himself fairly easily but he could not with her.  Perhaps it was the stubbornness and possessiveness that came with being an inuyoukai, but he could not help it.

 

It was as he was observing her carefully that he also noticed that she was getting exhausted.  He knew it had been a while since she had done anything very physical.  He had forgotten to take into consideration that she may not be up for this.  Also, she had her healing injuries from her previous attack.  Granted they didn’t seem to hurt as much as they used to, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t experience pain from time to time.

 

“Would you like to stop and rest?”

 

Frankly, she wanted to keep going because she didn’t want to lose time since they didn’t have much.  However, her body was telling her differently.  Plus, it wouldn’t be right to over exhaust herself and afterwards not be able to do anything right?  She ceased to walk, pondering for a few seconds, before she nodded.

 

Quickly she scanned over the area, until she found a fairly large rock and she headed for it.  As soon as she sat down on it, relief washed over her.  Her legs were absolutely killing her.  Sesshomaru watched her expressions slightly amused as he joined her.  Immediately before sitting down, he took his backpack off, knowing she would probably desire some food or water.

 

He took the water bottle out and handed it to her.

 

“Thank you,” she said, grabbing hastily, prior to gulping down a few sips.  Perhaps she was a bit thirstier then she thought as it felt good going down her throat.

 

Sesshomaru imitated her actions by drinking some water as well, as a peaceful silence surrounded them.  Honestly he didn’t miss the life he used to have.  Maybe he had been walking as much as he did because he had been seeking something.  Whatever the reason, he had to admit he enjoyed what he had now.  Perhaps it was because he had a purpose.

 

Meanwhile Kagome was glancing up at the sky, a small smile on her face.  It was still early and the sky was a bright blue, but she couldn’t help thinking about the night.  Memories flooded her mind quickly as her smile expanded.

 

“You know what I miss?” she asked out of the blue.

 

Sesshomaru shook his head, she didn’t see it since she was looking up at the sky, but it didn’t stop her from continuing.  “Fireworks.”

 

Strange.

 

“Every year since I was three years old, I would go to at least one festival with my mother, we would stay until the fireworks.  Sometimes I’d fall asleep before and my mom would wake me up before they started.”

 

It was their special thing that they did together.  Of course a little later on, Souta was added to the mix, but it only made it better.  It was their family moment; something they held on to, especially after her father died.

 

“Something about the sounds, the colors as they filled the sky with pretty lights, it always mesmerized me.”

 

Kagome was a bit unsure as of why she was sharing such a memory, but she had blurted it out without thinking and was now unable to cease.  Sometimes, it was easy to share with Sesshomaru, perhaps because he was quite silent, she could talk as much as she wanted.

 

He didn’t have many good childhood memories to share, but he was glad she felt comfortable enough to share hers around him.  Sometimes he felt as if perhaps she was slipping away, but then with things like these, he was reassured.  He almost felt pathetic for needing reassuring, but then again, nothing seemed like himself when he was around her.

 

“French Fries.”

 

He raised an eyebrow, not understanding why she was talking about fast food.

 

She smiled.  “It’s my favorite food.”

 

Somehow, he was not surprised, though pleased to know.  He might have a file on her, but it didn’t say everything about her.  Some things he had to learn through talking.

 

“What about you?”

 

Though she had been around him for a long time now, Sesshomaru was hard to get to know.  She didn’t think it was really because he was secretive and didn’t wish to share, but because he had painful memories.  Obviously, she wouldn’t make him share those if he didn’t wish to.

 

Her question left Sesshomaru pondering.  He didn’t really require food, hence why it was hard for him to have something he preferred.  Over the years he had barely gone through anything, though he did enjoy quick foods.  He decided he would amuse her a bit.

 

“Wacdonald’s burgers.”

 

Kagome’s eyes widened, she couldn’t hold back the laugh from escaping.  “You.  Have.  Got.  To.  Be.  Kidding.  Me.”

 

She knew he probably didn’t mean it as his favorite food, but the fact that he knew of it was hilarious.  “You, you, you have tasted a Wacdonald’s burger?”

 

“Why is it so unbelievable?”

 

She scoffed.  “Have you taken a look at yourself?  You’re not exactly the typical Japanese man.  You’re all suits and business…..y.  Alright maybe you are the typical Japanese man, but you’re not like that.  You’re supposed to be all fancy!”

 

“Not to insult you or anything,” she added before he thought she was being offensive.  “I just picture you in expensive restaurants and not at Wacdonald’s.”

 

He tilted his head to the side, highly amused.  “Well, it was once.”

 

“And what brought you there?”

 

“Curiosity?”

 

She shook her head.  “You wanted greasy fingers.  Admit it.”

 

He chuckled a bit.  “Perhaps.”

 

“I guess you’re just like the rest of us little people after all.”

 

It was nice to be able to put him at the same level as the rest of the world.  She could still vividly remember how much more superior and powerful he had seemed in the Feudal Era.  He was still currently the same person, but he was different.  It didn’t make sense but at the same time it did.  He was as deadly as ever, yet sweeter than ever.

 

Hence why it made everything so complicated and why she was so confused.

 

It could be so easy to be normal around him, to start out fresh without any memories of the past, but she knew that if she did that, the past would come back anyway.  You can’t run from it, only face it; she had quickly realized that.  The best she could do for now was to try to create nice memories that could eventually replace the bad ones.

 

Of course there was a very important step she would have to do eventually that involved his beast, but they weren’t at that step just yet.  Obviously if she wanted to be with Sesshomaru, it meant he wouldn’t wear the watch forever, that one day his beast would have to be free.  However, she found herself delaying that moment since she was recently learning to enjoy the company of Sesshomaru himself.

 

It was hard for him to glance away from her bright smiling face.  Perhaps he had felt a little something within him when she had been able to laugh so freely around him and tease.  Though seeing her so happy only added to his guilt.  It was so easy to bring her joy, yet he had crushed her for so long in the past.  Not only his beast but him as well.

 

This was why he had to make it up to her.

 

He extended his hand in front of her and before Kagome knew it, she felt him running his fingers through her lock of hair on her shoulder.  Her movement ceased, her smile dropped a bit as her heartbeat increased.  Silently, with his eyes, Sesshomaru asked for permission and it was for her to decide if she would allow his request. 

 

She felt her lips become dry as they parted, her throat felt constricted.  Gently, she found herself nodding, ignoring the small fear within.  They had done this before, no reason for her to be so nervous, but she could hardly help it.  Kagome felt his hand move to her cheek, cupping it as he slowly approached her face.

 

While he closed the distance between their mouths, she found herself playing with her hands on her lap.  Soon enough his lips touched hers, as he gifted her with a sweet kiss.  It was fairly short, but enough to make her heart flutter.  When he pulled away, his hand still on her cheek, looking down in her eyes, she held her breath.

 

“Are you ready to begin searching again?” he inquired almost as if nothing had happened.

 

Kagome weakly nodded, before quickly scrambling to her feet.  She had done more than kissing, yet the little things were enough to make her blush.  Perhaps it was because this was how a real relationship progressed, not that she would know.

 

She threw her back pack over her shoulder prior to hastily heading back to the path.  Sesshomaru could not help but watch her, as he heavily exhaled.  He almost found himself in trouble.  He couldn’t believe just how innocent she still was.  Something he greatly appreciated.  He hadn’t failed to notice the blush on her cheeks and he almost felt unworthy.

 

She was like a precious wild flower.

 

-B-

 

“You mean I gotta babysit again tomorrow?”

 

Kagome bit on her bottom lip.  “I thought everything went well?”

 

Kouga’s eyes widened a bit.  “Well yeah, but … I don’t trust him,” he said before pointing to Sesshomaru.  “I’m pretty sure he’s training your son to hate me.”

 

“I promise it was a one time accident.”  Granted she could actually promise that, but Kagome was pretty sure Kiyoshi hadn’t meant any harm.

 

Their search for the shard had not led to anything, meaning they would have to go away.  Granted they had been fairly lucky with the first two shards, and they couldn’t expect the last one to be as easy to locate.  Still, now it was much harder to leave since Kiyoshi was left behind.

 

All she could hope for was that she could at least feel the familiar tingle soon.

 

“Considering the amount of food and movies you are ordering, I can hardly see why you’re complaining,” added Sesshomaru as he held in his hand the bill of everything Kouga had bought during the night.

 

Kouga only offered him a smirk in reply before taunting him by waving.  He wasn’t paid for his babysitting services, thus he had to take what he could.  Or perhaps he was only doing it to piss off Sesshomaru; it was a win-win situation in both cases.

 

While Kouga closed the door Kagome plopped herself down on the bed feeling an ache in her legs.

 

“I’m so tired,” she said, prior to sighing heavily.

 

Maybe she was getting too old for all that walking.  Oh wait.  No that was what lazy teenagers said when they were out of shape.  Oh god, had she regressed that badly?  Perhaps a shower would get her back into it… although that meant she had to get up and walk all the way to the bathroom.

 

She extended her arms in front of her, attempting to lift herself, but she quickly realized she was failing.  She was about to try again when she suddenly felt someone grab her hands and pull her into a sitting position.  Quickly enough, she found herself staring into Sesshomaru’s eyes, his warm hands enveloping hers.

 

“Thank you,” she whispered softly.

 

He offered her a nod, while she got on her feet.  “I’ll go take a shower,” she said a tiny tint of red decorating her cheeks.

 

Quickly she headed for the drawer and grabbed the first clothes she found.  She was about to walk towards the washroom without a word, when she felt the urge to say something.  Timidly she turned around and offered Sesshomaru a smile.

 

“It was fun today,” she said, her tone filled with joy.

 

Sesshomaru couldn’t do anything but return her smile.  “It was.”

 

They didn’t often have many days where they could relax, even today hadn’t been one, yet it ended up being enjoyable.  Sesshomaru was very glad that she could have fun with him, especially since he believed that she would be awkward in his company.  When was the last time that they had been fully alone?  A part of him had truly thought that she would panic just a bit.

 

He watched Kagome leave and close the door behind her.  As soon as she disappeared, he rested his back against the nearest wall, tilting his head back.  He felt a feeling of satisfaction going thru him and for once, he was not as worried as usual.  Of course that feeling quickly dissipated.

 

His happiness faded a bit once he began feeling a pain in his wrist.  Curious he found himself glancing down at his watch and he immediately made a link he hoped was wrong.  The pain couldn’t have anything to do with the watch could it?  His watch was related to his beast… whom was locked away.

 

The watch was safe; his beast could not be freed unless he pressed the button.  But then why would he feel pain?  Sesshomaru grabbed his wrist, moving the watch around, deciding it would be best to ignore it.  The beast would remain locked away and he would put up with the pain until it was gone.

 

A sigh rolled off his lips as he moved away from the wall, deciding to sit down on the bed instead.  His beast was a thing often on his mind.  Kagome seemed fine around him, but he knew it wouldn’t be the same when his beast was free.  Granted he could keep it locked up forever… but he didn’t know what that would do.

 

Could he be half of a person for the rest of his life?

 

He had been like that for a long time, but maybe long term it would have some effects.

 

He ran his fingers through his hair as he heard the shower start.  Thinking about her in the shower reminded him of the many dreams he had.  Of course, he had been lucky enough to not have one for two days straight.  It made it a bit difficult to be around her when all he could see were flashes of his dreams.

 

She was not only different, innocent, and beautiful, but she also was his mate and mother of his son.  How could he not be attracted to her?

 

Surely him being a slave to his feelings was not something he was used to, or enjoyed.  Sesshomaru was always in control, but not now.  Of course he wouldn’t act on his feelings like a hormonal puppy.  His beast had done that in the past and had pretty much ruined her life.

 

He would never go past what she was comfortable with.  To be honest, Sesshomaru was surprised he had the guts to kiss her earlier while they had been out.  He could not explain why he had wanted to do it.  Perhaps because they had been able to ignore the past for a while and converse with each other, or maybe just because.

 

He was most likely screwed.

 

-B-

 

Her hair still damp because she hadn’t bothered to dry it, Kagome fixed the blanket wrapped around Kiyoshi for the fifth times.  She had missed him all day and when they had returned, he had been already asleep.  Perhaps she just felt bad that she had left him alone and was trying to take care of him.

 

As she pulled away from the crib she couldn’t help but notice the nice popcorn aroma that filled the room.  She perked up a bit as she decided to head for the kitchen, her wet hair gluing itself to her shirt as she walked.  As soon as she walked into the kitchen, she found Sesshomaru holding a popcorn bag, with cans of pop on the counter.

 

She raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued.  “Planning something?”

 

Sesshomaru pointed to one of the bags on the table.  Kagome couldn’t help but satisfy her curiosity by taking a look inside.  As soon as she reached in, she felt something, and immediately pulled it out.  In her hands she was holding five movies.

 

“You brought this?”

 

“I thought perhaps you would enjoy the distraction.  We also had a long day.”

 

Kagome couldn’t help but smile at the gesture.  She always knew Sesshomaru had a hidden side that sometimes would pop out, but each time, she was surprised by it.  She bit on her bottom lip excitedly and began to flip through the movies.  It took her a few seconds to realize they were all romantic comedies.  Not the kind of movies she would expect him to have.

 

“Do you have a hidden love for girly movies?”

 

Sesshomaru couldn’t help but chuckle.  “I’ve been discovered.”

 

Taunting?  Playing around?  This was new.  She wasn’t sure if this was the new Sesshomaru, or regular Sesshomaru trying for her sake to be nice.  She had to admit though, she was not displeased.  After everything that had happened, she almost felt weird to have someone else do something nice for her.

 

It was clearly different.  Things had not turned out as badly as she expected them to.

 

“How about Koizora?”

 

He offered her a nod as he poured the popcorn into a bowl, not able to tear his eyes off of her.  He didn’t think a simple movie would bring her such joy, but then again, Kagome didn’t need a lot to be happy.  Perhaps it was one of her great quality; finding joy in the little things.  Another thing she had in common with Rin.

 

Kagome disappeared into the bedroom with the movie in her hands.  There was nothing stressful about watching a movie was there?  After all, they had done it before, back when their situation was much worse.  As Kagome thought about her feelings carefully she found herself experiencing a bit of guilt.

 

Was it okay for her to feel this way in his company?  Granted she was tired of the feeling of pain and depression, but was it also appropriate for her to be happy with the person who had brought her great suffering in the first place?  Nobody would judge her, not that she would care since it was her life, but it still made her feel a little uneasy.

 

It also felt like she was ignoring the real problem.

 

They could play house all they wanted, but unless they actually went to the root of the problem, nothing would get fixed.

 

Her sudden joy was drained as she put the movie down on the TV set.  Could she hold those bitter feelings for one night?  After all the day had gone great; should she really ruin it at this point?  Her heart sunk a bit, especially when she heard the footsteps coming her way.  Immediately she lifted her head only to make eye contact with Sesshomaru.

 

“Are you well?” he inquired as he brought the food and drinks into the room, setting the tray onto the bed.

 

Kagome quickly nodded, before turning around.  She grabbed the movie, popping it inside the DVD player.  She would wait.  Maybe tonight she just wanted to be a normal girl enjoying a nice evening.  Was it so wrong for her to wish for that?  It was selfish, but she felt like she deserved it.

 

Tomorrow however, she would face it.

 

Yes, tomorrow, she would ask Sesshomaru to press the little button on his watch… and she would face the beast.  At that thought alone her heart was racing through her chest.  She held back the nervousness, reminding herself that tonight wasn’t about that.

 

Tonight she was Kagome and he was Sesshomaru and there was nothing else to it.

 

She took a deep breath to relax herself before spinning around.  She found Sesshomaru sitting on his own bed with a tray, while another tray was on her bed.  She knew he wasn’t trying to push her, or create situations she wouldn’t be comfortable with.

 

Though she had a nice time with him, there were still fears within her, she wasn’t sure if it was the best idea, but she was willing to give it a shot.  However, she still believed it was good for them to take their time.  She was fine with hanging out with him, but she knew that intimacy would be a difficult issue for her.

 

So far all they had done was kiss, she was no longer as nervous as she once was, but she knew that anything further would be a different story.  But for now, she was okay with their pace, and with being around him.

 

It was a start.

 

Plus, perhaps the more steps they took while being away from Japan, the better.  The return to normal life might be to disturbing.

 

Kagome took a deep breath before sitting down on her own bed.  It felt almost awkward to watch a movie in different beds since they hadn’t done that before.  She almost found herself wondering if it was rude not to ask him to join her.

 

But with the recent closeness they had developed, she found herself feeling nervous.  Nonetheless, she turned her head to the side and glanced at him.  Sesshomaru didn’t seem to notice as he was using the remote to get the movie running.  Her heart began beating a bit faster and quickly looked away from him.

 

“You can sit here if you want.”

 

Maybe he wondered if she would ask.  She already had once, he hadn’t expected her to do it every time.  He had no desire to overcome the boundaries of her personal space.  Once he finished setting up the movie and pressed play, he grabbed his own tray and moved to her bed.  He sat on the right side, leaving a decent amount of space between them before glancing at the screen.

 

Silence came upon them, their eyes glued on the screen.

 

Tomorrow, she’d take a step she didn’t want to take, something that completely terrified her.  But today, she would not speak of it.  No because today she allowed herself to be a normal girl, who hadn’t gone through what she had gone through, who wasn’t mated and who wasn’t a mom.

 

She was just Kagome.

 

Slowly she stretched out her hand, leaving it in the empty space between.  She wasn’t suggesting anything, she was simply… doing.  She didn’t expect it to mean anything, or for him to even do anything.  Although those thoughts didn’t stop her heart from hammering away inside of her chest, the feelings she was experiencing in his presence were so mixed and confusing that most of the time she preferred to ignore it all together.

 

Sesshomaru peered at her hand from the corner of his eye, pondering.

 

Should he?

 

It was almost a clear hint, but when it came to her, he was uncertain.

 

Nonetheless, he slowly moved his hand over to hers and before they both knew it, their fingers were intertwined.

 

And it didn’t feel all that wrong.

 

Two heavy hearts beating slightly faster, with guilt weighing heavily on their minds.

 

But it still wasn’t wrong, or right.

 

It just was.

 

-B-