The Pain of Loss & Love

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It was a beautiful afternoon in the Higurashi Lands. Miyu was sipping tea in the sunroom, waiting for Kagome to arrive. Nobu, her husbands father, had a talk with her a few weeks ago. It was regarding the possibility of marriage for her eldest daughter.

 

 

Miyu's mind took her to the day, she spoke with her father.

 

 

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Miyu was walking down the hallway towards the study, where Nobu wanted to speak with her.

 

 

Nobu was a fair and righteous lord. He really didn't have enemies, and everyone respected him. He wasn't a greedy lord like most, for he was always content with what he had.

 

 

In all the years that she had known him, he never crossed boundaries. He only gave his opinion on the matter at hand, although, he could go to war if deemed necessary. He was always a diplomat and gentleman.

 

 

In his younger days, he was not a man to be trifled with. Her husband often told stories of his father, that he heard from others. When Nobu became the new lord there was an uproar; many thought he was not ready to be lord, for his father had died unexpectedly.

 

 

One lord challenged Nobu bringing about a war. The lord thought he would take the lands for himself, thinking Nobu to be weak. Even though the lord took Nobu to war, he lost the battle. Although there were casualties on both sides, the foolish lord was no match for Nobu. His strategic intelligence won in the end, for he outmaneuvered his opponent.

 

 

Miyu arrived at her father-in-law's study. Gently knock on the door; and waited for a response to enter.

 

 

"Come in, now. I've been expecting you, daughter." Nobu spoke, as he heard on the knock the door.

 

 

Miyu stepped into the study that once belong to her late husband. She took her seat, and gently placed her hands on her lap.

 

 

"What have you been needing to speak with me about? The expression on your face is grave." Miyu didn't like the look on her father's face, as she started to worry. 

 

 

"It is concerning both Kikyo and Kagome." Nobu knew how his son and Miyu wanted to raise their children, he tried to approach the subject gently.

 

 

"What has happened to my daughters?" Fear shot down her spine, worried that something bad has happened to her daughters.

 

 

"Rest assured they are safe. Don't start to panic now, or we will have to call a healer before this matter is discussed." Nobu slid his hand down his face, trying to choose his words more carefully.

 

 

"Father, please don't scare me like that. Your expression and tone, scared me out of my skin." Miyu let out a sigh, and took a deep breath.

 

 

"I apologize, I didn't mean to. I'm just at my wits end already." Nobu was seriously considering other options, but sadly this was the best he could come up with.

 

 

"I understand your responsibilities weigh heavy on your shoulders, no need to explain any further father." Miyu understood her father was under a lot of pressure, and getting older was never easy.

 

 

"I know you might get upset for what I'm about to tell you." Nobu decided to be straightforward with her, there wasn't an easy way around this matter.

 

 

"Speak freely, father." Miyu knew, what he was about to say was going to trouble her deeply.

 

 

Nobu let a sigh pass from his lips, before talking any further.

 

 

"It's only an option I'm pursuing right now, but Kikyo must marry an illegible suitor." Nobu felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, by coming out with the truth.

 

 

Nobu looked at Miyu, as the daughter he never had. Sadly the kami's never grace him with a daughter. If they had, he would have wanted her to be like Miyu. 

 

 

"Why?" Is the only response Miyu was able to voice.

 

 

"Souta only has a few years, or less, before I hand him the title of lord." Nobu knew how hard it was to let go of a child, he too didn't want to let Kikyo go.

 

 

He looked at Miyu, while her eyes were down-casted. The expression she wore broke his heart in pieces.

 

 

"She and her husband will rule, until Souta becomes of age. I'm no longer fit for battle. My bones are tiresome, and mornings are becoming difficult with my age." Nobu knew, if he wanted to he could still go to war, but there was a high possibility becoming gravely injured, or worse, dead.

 

 

Nobu looked towards the window to the gardens. Again he faced his daughter, and began to speak once more.

 

 

"Kikyo is mature, and educated in our ways. She is strong, and a miko no less. She's well beyond the age of marriage. Understand, war may be brewing, one never knows now." Miyu stared at the man, she called father. Knowing his words only spoke of truth. She couldn't help, but feel sorry for her eldest daughter.

 

 

"Remember is it only an option. All the other lords from my time have either passed or stepped down from their station." Nobu's friends now live in contentment or have passed. He felt like life cheated him in a cruel way.

 

 

"I understand." He was right, he couldn't rule forever. Miyu understood where he was coming from, just letting her daughter go was the hard part.

 

 

"I would not marry her off to whomever. I'd have her courted first. It will still be her choice to marry who she sees fits." Nobu wasn't just about to hand over his granddaughter to anyone, the suitor needed to prove his worth first.

 

 

Miyu's head shot up, her daughter still had hope to find love, even though it was short notice.

 

 

Nobu eyed her suspiciously, knowing what she was thinking.

 

 

"You thought I'd marry her to whomever. My dear, there's no haste in this. Is that what had you worried." Nobu couldn't believe what she was thinking. He understood that women usually didn't have a say in the matter of whom they married off to. It was usually up to the family, but he wanted Kikyo to pick her husband.

 

 

"I'm truly sorry. I just thought it would be a quick matter to marry her off. Honestly, I wasn't even sure if I would have a month to prepare." Miyu was sad for her daughter, and felt guilty for thinking such things of her father.

 

 

"I would never do such a thing to my own granddaughter." Nobu was appalled, she would think such a thing of him.

 

 

"I didn't mean to offend you. I just want someone to love her as much as we do. I hope she finds love at the end of this journey." Miyu wanted more than anything for Kikyo is to find happiness.

 

 

"Me too, daughter. I long to see her smile once more. She truly deserves happiness." Nobu knew Kikyo stopped smiling a long time ago.

 

 

"We can only hope and pray to the kami's that they heed our prayer." Miyu longed for Kikyo's happiness, she knew Kikyo wasn't content with her life. She felt responsible for Kikyo being unhappy.

 

 

"Also we need to speak about Kagome." Nobu knew this was going to be hard on Kagome, but it was the only way.

 

 

"What has she done this time?" Miyu knew how much trouble Kagome can be at times.

 

 

"No nothing of that sort. I believe it's time she took lessons to be a proper lady, that is required of her station. You have put it on hold long enough." Nobu knew, if Kagome stepped up to her station, she would a force to be reckoned with.

 

 

Nobu just wasn't going to let Miyu know that, or Kagome. He had plans to change things, and Kagome would be the change he needed.

 

 

"Yes, I have. She does need to learn, especially with change of events that will take place." Miyu thought it was an excellent idea, but getting Kagome to understand was the hard part.

 

 

"Kagome is wild and has a temper, just like her father. She will be taking Kikyo's place too, until she learns otherwise." Nobu knew Kagome had a clever tongue, she just needed proper practice, then she would really be something.

 

 

"I fear, she will not like it all. I know she's a free spirit, and doesn't take well to how women are treated." Miyu knew better than anyone about Kagome's belief on women's rights.

 

 

"It's not if she likes it. This has to be done, or it shows how dysfunctional family is. To lose our face is like losing our honor." Nobu hoped Kagome complied with their wishes, it would show everyone their family was strong.

 

 

"I know, I will speak with her on topic. I need to find a way to tell her." Miyu was trying to think of a way to break the news to Kagome.

 

 

"My dear, you will learn there is no easy way to tell her. She will fight you tooth and nail, just like her father did with me. But boy, did he get a good spanking! One he never forgot. If you ask me, his mother was easy on him, much as you are with yours." Nobu knew firsthand what kind of temper Miyu was with dealing, his son was the same way.

 

 

"I could imagine it already. Don't worry things will work out, you will see." Miyu knew Kagome inherited her father's temper.

 

 

"I hope you are right for our sake, dear." Nobu could already picturing Kagome yelling, which is why he left it in Miyu's hands to speak with her.

 

 

"Thank you, father, for always being there for me and the children, it means so much to us." Miyu couldn't ask for a better father, than the man before her.

 

 

"No, thank you daughter, for the grandchildren you have given me." Nobu felt blessed that at least his son left behind grandchildren before he died.

 

 

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Miyu managed to pull herself from the thoughts that plague her mind. Thanking the kami's that Shippo was caught up in lessons today.

 

 

'I wouldn't want him to hear this discussion. I have been fairly lenient on Kagome. Now, I have to put my foot down with her, I'll have to find her a teacher. A teacher that will train her in the proper mannerisms, the proper speech of a lady of her station; when to speak and when not to. Oh, so many things need to be done.' Miyu thought to herself.

 

 

 

Miyu was unable to escape this matter any longer. She had been holding off talking to Kagome. Finally she was ready to face her, though it truly broke her to do this. Inside she knew it should have been done from the beginning, now it's was problem she must deal with.

 

 

Kagome entered the sunroom. Her mom had been acting strange lately, for the last past couple of weeks or so.

 

 

"Hi, mom!" Kagome was concerned about her mom, she didn't like seeing her mom this way.

 

 

Kagome bent down to give her a hug, with a smile on her face.

 

 

"Hi, dear! How was your morning?" Miyu pulled from her thoughts, and was now ready to speak with Kagome.

 

 

"It was good, I made sure Shippo went to his studies." Kagome was proud of how of Shippo was excelling in his studies.

 

 

"That's good; you are keeping an eye on his lessons. No child likes to learn, I went through that with all of you at first." Miyu was proud of how Kagome was raising Shippo on her own.

 

 

Kagome served herself tea, and refilled her mother's cup too. She got in a comfortable sitting position, then locked eyes with her mother.

 

 

"Mom, what did you want to talk to me about?" Kagome wanted to know, what this was all about. 

 

 

"Oh dear, where do I begin? I don't want to overwhelm you. Please remember this while I'm speaking to you." Miyu wanted her to know this, before she said another word to Kagome.

 

 

"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Kagome for sure thought she was in trouble now!

 

 

"No, sweetie, it's my fault. I should have been more stern with you." Miyu decided being honest was the only way to go about this matter.

 

 

"Mom, you are seriously freaking me out here." Kagome was trying to figure out the last time, she pulled a prank or broke something.

 

 

"Let me start from where the problem is, I'll explain the best I can. When your father passed away it took all of us by surprise. Your father and I thought we had all the time in the world. We were a bit more stern with Kikyo, since she is the eldest of the family. She never has complained and has always complied." Miyu almost wanted to cry at the mention of her beloved's death.

 

 

Miyu looked at Kagome to make sure, she was absorbing the information. Slowly she let out a breath, and spoke softly to convey how she felt.

 

 

"Your father and I, both thought to give you some leeway. We choose to just educate you, until we thought you were ready for the lessons to become a proper lady." Miyu knew, she had to tread carefully with Kagome, she had her father's temper.

 

 

"Hold it, mom. Let me get this straight. What's wrong with how I am!?" Kagome didn't know what to say, she only knew how to speak her mind.

 

 

Miyu was about to speak, until Kagome cut her off.

 

 

"Dad always told me, it's okay to speak my mind. Now you're telling me different. How can I be anyone but me? I don't want to be like the other noble girls who are stuck up, and believe everyone is beneath them. I can't do that mom! How can you of all people ask this of me?" Kagome felt betrayed by what her mom was saying.

 

 

Kagome just couldn't wrap her head around this.

 

 

'If I'm like every other girl, who would I be? I love who I am and what I am. Why do I have to change myself for others? Men walk all over women, and women stand there, and do nothing but listen. No, I will not be that girl.'  Kagome thought to herself. Pulled out of her conversation going on in her head, her mother spoke again.

 

 

"Sweetie, I love you just how you are, but our world doesn't work that way. There are rules and regulations we follow, as women, yes that's how it is. Your father was not like other men, he let me speak freely and took consideration of my opinions. Although, that was behind closed doors, in front of others I had to bite my own tongue. As a noble daughter these lessons are taught or else consequences do occur." Miyu knew Kagome didn't like how women were treated, but that's the way their world worked.

 

 

"What consequences? The other lords can't lay on finger on me. Why must we keep quiet, men always can wage war and bring destruction, speak freely to anyone; put women down and humiliate us. But women can't do the same, it's ridiculous!" Kagome couldn't keep quiet about this.

 

 

Kagome was fuming in anger. If her mom was a demon, she would have been blown into oblivion. Her reiki was boiling just beneath the surface ready to explode. She would do everything her mom asked, but this was just too much for her. The meeting of politics was too much to handle. This is the reason she couldn't stand the other lords- besides Sango's father. If you were a woman, the lords belittled you and looked down on you, as if you were scum. You were nothing, but mere trash to be disposed of.

 

 

"Kagome, I have no other choice. You are going to take those lessons. Take pride in where you come from. Represent this house with dignity and respect. You have no other option. If Souta was of age to become lord, trust me, I wouldn't force you into this situation. Until that day comes you have to to abide by these regulations." Miyu was losing her patience with Kagome, she wished things were different. 

 

 

Tears started prickling at her eyes. Kagome wanted to run away and never turn back.

 

 

'Why would I do this, for what, to make everyone happy? To wear a mask and be a hypocrite! '  Kagome thought angrily to herself. 

 

 

Kagome looked at her mom. Unable to believe what was happening, and she spoke softly.

 

 

"So, I have no say in this. Is there anything else you want to add!?" Kagome said, a bit too harshly but right now she just didn't care.

 

 

"Don't you take that tone with me! Why do you think I'm asking this of you? If we show the other lords how our family is, what do you think is going to happen? Other lords and nobles will challenge us for the right to our lands, if we can't show how well mannered we are. You must show respect to the other lords, or do you want a war!?" Miyu never had raised her voice, but if it was the only way Kagome could see it, so be it.

 

 

Miyu had enough of Kagome's temper, she was going to tell her exactly what is going on. She would just have to accept things, the way they are.

 

 

"Souta is not ready for war, and neither is your jiji! My father can barely manage around the house. You think you're the only one around here giving up something. Kikyo has to rule temporary and marry, until Souta is of age to hold the title of lord. Unless you want me to remarry! Everyone is doing their part, it's about time you do yours! In order to keep these lands and our home, this is how things are going to be, and that's final!" Miyu raised her voice, like never before.

 

 

Kagome sat there wide eyed, and in shock. Her mother never spoke like that to her before in her life. Then Kikyo getting married, she had no idea this was all bigger than her. She felt so stupid and selfish in that moment, so much was riding on everyone not just her. She didn't want a war, she heard enough stories about the bloodshed and innocent families torn apart. She definitely didn't want her mom to remarry, then what would become of their home and lands.

 

 

Kagome squared her shoulders, no longer angry or upset. She looked at her mom with soft eyes, trying to show she understood now. 

 

 

"Mom, I'm sorry for being selfish and inconsiderate. I didn't understand until now, I'll try my best. I won't make promises that I can't keep. I should have never raised my voice to you, and acted childish. Now I know what's been bugging you." Kagome was truly sorry for how she acted. 

 

 

Kagome now more than ever missed her father. She wanted to run to his arms and cry. But he wasn't there no matter how much she prayed to kami's. They wouldn't grant her wish.

 

 

Miyu looked at her daughter, feeling guilty for being harsh with her. She had no options, she didn’t understand the situation. Nobu was right, these were their best options in order to keep the peace and their lands.

 

 

"I'm sorry too, sweetie. I shouldn't have raised my voice either. This wasn't an easy decision to make, but this is our home and lands. All our memories are here, our people matter too. This is for everyone's benefit." Miyu was glad Kagome understood, she just wished they didn't lose their temper like they did.

 

 

"I understand, mom." Kagome understood perfectly now.

 

 

"Thank you dear, all I can ask for is your best. I love you, Kagome. Don't you ever forget, I'd do anything for you." Miyu knew she couldn't tame her daughter's wild spirit, she only hoped to add more to her fiery spirit.

 

 

"I love you too, mama. I know you'd do anything for me. The least I can do for my family is become a proper lady." Kagome knew all she could do is try her best.

 

 

"Now, I need to speak with Souta." Now Miyu was thinking of how to tell Souta about this matter.

 

 

Miyu took a sip of tea, she took a deep breath and let it out. Souta took everything seriously. He was striving to be the best lord to his ability, which she was thrilled about. Their world was changing, and it would never be the same.

 

 

"When do I start my lessons, mom?" Kagome was hoping she had time for a little freedom, before she started those damn lessons.

 

 

"Sometime next week, I'll let you know. Don't worry about that right now, okay." Miyu needed to find a teacher that was willing to teach Kagome, since she's older than most girls.

 

 

"Okay mom, well I'm going to check on Shippo to make sure he's not causing any trouble." Kagome knew if she didn't keep an eye on Shippo, he would try and skip his classes.

 

 

"Oh, yes I forgot, go on now. I'll see you later on at dinner." Miyu was pleased that she finally got things settled, now the tables will start turning. 

 

 

"Yes, we will see each other at dinner." Kagome felt better knowing everyone was doing their part, but she was scared to lose a piece of herself.

 

 

Kagome stood up, and bowed to her mom. Now she understood everything, she was determined to try her best. Turning towards the door to leave, she slid open the door to walk out. She paused and turned to see her mother once more... this was for them. To become a lady, they are worth it. With that thought she walked out and slid the door shut, and wandered into the hallway.

 

 

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Author's Note: 

This chapter has been long over due, but here it is. Main shot out to Askua for editing the majority of this chapter. SuperMangaGeek23 and Sweet×Sorrow helped with the editing too. Sorry for the late update, but life caught up with me and my beta's. Hopefully Askua will stay on for the next few chapters or longer. If you want to know more about what's going on visit my profile. Thank you for the support, and please review. I'd love to hear from you! :-)